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James Goldsmith

"I have seen eternity, I swear, but it was in a dream and in the morning all was gone."

0 · 549 views · located in Smithbrook

a character in “No One Mourns The Wicked”, as played by almostinsane

Description

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Image"'I have seen eternity, I swear, but it was in a dream and in the morning all was gone"
{In the End | Linkin Park}

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Name:
James Tyler Goldsmith
Nicknames:
Jamie
Age:
21
Gender:
Male
Sexuality:
Heterosexual
Ethnicity:
40% German, 30% Irish, 30% English




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"People defines themselves by what they see. They call this reality."

Appearance:
At 5"9 and with a solid frame, James is in reasonably good health on first glance as his brown eyes and styled brown hair complete the picture. He sports a lighthearted smile quite often, but his stylish appearance and flippant demeanor often gives way to a more sober manner. He has allowed a small stubble to grow on his chin that he haphazardly shaves. He dresses comfortably and he can often be seen fiddling with a small flask or liquor or a cigarette.

Secret:
As a high school student, James became involved in drug dealing. He began with lighter drugs such as marijuana and alcohol, but it soon spiralled out of control and he began to sell hard stuff like cocaine and heroine. When one of his customers overdosed, he had a change of heart and agreed to testify against his suppliers in exchange for immunity and until now, has been living at the other edge of the country working as a bartender under an assumed name.




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"Yet, I do not think I am an evil man. Evil men pray loud and stick themselves closer to heaven than I."
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Personality:
James has always been a charming, somewhat sarcastic individual with a flair for storytelling and a certain appreciation for the opposite sex, particularly as he went through puberty. Today, his charm and sarcasm is often lined with a certain amount of cynicism about the world and himself. He still tries to have as good a time as possible, but this is as much to dull his guilt and pain as to genuinely enjoy himself. He does not think himself a good person or someone with the drive or smarts to go to college, but deep down, James is a loyal person and he cares for people, particularly his friends.

Talents:
Guitar
Persuasion
Drink-mixing
Literature
Gambling

Weaknesses:
Repressed guilt
Addictive personality
Has a history for falling for the wrong types of partners
Gambling

Fears:
Coming face to face with the family of the kid who overdosed on his drugs




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"In the end, as the darkness takes me, I am nothing."

History:

James' family was one of the poorest in town. He grew up being called things like "redneck" and "white trash". Nonetheless, his parents did their best to do right by James and his brothers and James was happy for awhile. Then, he went to elementary school and bullied for his older clothes, James longed to have more. As the years went by, James found a way to smooth talk his way into not paying for lunch, gaining spending money by introducing blackjack and poker to his classmates, and gaining popularity through sheer charm and the fact that the teachers instantly labeled him as a troublemaker.

In middle school, he began to buy marijuana for his own use, but he soon found that he could make a lot of money selling it and he got involved with drug dealers, selling drugs throughout his school career up until his senior year. He spent this time partying, saving money, and generally having a good time, but he soon found himself pressured into selling harder drugs. Everything changed when a friend of his overdosed on heroine. It suddenly wasn't a victimless crime anymore. He turned himself into the police and agreed to testify and was promptly relocated across the country without the chance of graduating like a normal student. Instead, he got a GED and found himself bar-tending.

With the murder of a friend of his, he returned home and was promptly questioned given his past. Having been let go, James is divided over meeting old friends from high school or leaving as soon as possible to avoid the gang he ratted out.




Image"Don't let me die here."
{ Bring Me to Life | Evanescence}

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Other:
-

So begins...

James Goldsmith's Story

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Rosemary Scott Character Portrait: James Goldsmith Character Portrait: Oliver Pierce Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone
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Last night she had another nightmare. It always starts the same, her father screaming at the top of his lungs and calling her name. She was hiding in her room, praying to God for some mercy. Her father barged in and picked her up by her shirt. She had no idea that he was this strong. Then the beating began, for the first time he had hit her on the face. She couldn't scream or call for help, otherwise she would get an even worse beating. Whenever she woke up from her nightmares, her roommate Hailey would comfort her. Hailey was like her replacement for James, one of her childhood best friends. She was also certain that two could have started dating if it weren't for 'the phone call.'

That phone call forced her to make a leave of absence from UCLA so she could pay her respects, and return to the town that haunted her. She had spent the night in the local motel, but she only had enough money for one night. There was no way she could stay with her father. Every time she entered that neighborhood, she wouldn't work properly. It was so emotionally scarring that she couldn't keep herself together. Perhaps she could ask some of her old friends? Oliver would be willing, but they kind of grew apart and she was scared to talk to him. Iggy was out of the question. The girl was like a time bomb waiting to erupt, she wouldn't want to see Rose at all.

Then it hit her, James would be willing to help her out. He knew what her dad was like and understood how much pain she went through. He'd be willing to let her stay. There was a problem with that though, James lived near her father's house and if he were to ever find out that she was home. There would be hell to pay.

As she walked down one of the main streets, she pulled out her Samsung Galaxy. Rose was certainly not an Apple person, so she was teased often for having an Android. She clicked on James' contact name. They hadn't contacted each other for at least three years and that made her nervous.

To James:
Hey James, are you still in town? I was hoping that we could meet up at our old spot at the park. :)

It took her five minutes to send the message, mostly because she couldn't force herself to press send. She blamed her father for making her so socially awkward and anxious. The fact that she couldn't even text, which wasn't even face to face, concluded that she had a problem.

Setting

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Character Portrait: Rosemary Scott Character Portrait: James Goldsmith
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James did not know how to feel about being home. He didn't think he'd ever return. It was too dangerous, the cops had said. That night, a few had looked at him with pity, but most treated it as matter-of-fact. He was lucky he hadn't gone to jail. What had he expected when he started dealing and later turned snitch? If his suppliers ever found him, they'd kill him.

Yet, it had been hard to leave everyone behind. So hard. On one hand, he didn't need to look Spence in the eyes and take responsibility for his role in turning him into an addict. On the other hand, he'd have to leave his family behind along with his other close friends. Rosemary stood out in that regard. He wanted to confess to her his feelings the night he left, but he couldn't. He had delayed it so many times in the past until it was too late. She deserved better than an ex-drug dealer who was lucky to have his GED.

Yet, he had always been selfish. That was why he had left the awkward dinner conversation at his parents' house and sat on his favorite old swing in the park. The chains were rusting and he wouldn't trust swinging on it now, but it brought to mind a time where everything was so much brighter. That was him being retrospective, though. Rose's father was a bastard. It wasn't a good time for her. Still, he texted her.

To Rosemary:
I'm at the usual spot... Will you come see me?


A better man wouldn't have sent it, but James wasn't a better man. He fiddled for his cigarettes in his jacket, but her jerked his hand away. Not here.

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Character Portrait: Anne Preacher Character Portrait: James Goldsmith
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The back seat of her car was definitely not the best place to sleep, particularly when you had taken up temporary residence in the parking lot of a greasy diner beloved by every teenager in Smithbrook who believed slamming on her car windows as they passed by on their late night food runs to be the height of hilarity. A four-day drive followed immediately by a funeral and police interrogation had a way of lowering one's standards, it seemed.

Anne lay there on a pile of jackets and animal print blankets, watching a bee that had landed on her window clean its antennae. She reached up and pressed one finger to her side of the glass so it looked as if the bee were sitting on her finger, then withdrew it when the worker bee flew off.

She sat up, trying to shake off the weight which came following barely 3 hours of what could generously be called "rest." She yawned and stretched the best she could in the enclosed space, blinked her eyes a few times in a vain attempt to clear the fog from her mind, then climbed up to the front seat of the black truck she called her own. She settled into the driver's seat, one hand digging through her messenger bag for her keys and instead wrapping around her phone. She yawned again, juggling whether to toss it back in her bag for a moment before deciding to just bite the bullet.

Two messages from her boss, the first offering sympathy for her loss and the second letting her know he'd managed to work the schedule so she had the full month off. Fully 36 texts and voice mails from her parents, who had been forced to learn of her homecoming through her arrival at the police station and were very offended that she hadn't thought to call ahead. Nothing yet from Oli or Jude, though she imagined that wouldn't take long to change, and at least 3 drunk texts from James that she hadn't read yet, from almost a month ago. She figured this was a good place to start.

To: Drunkpants the Sexually Misaligned
>>>Father Annie sent a link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tortricidae
sorry for the late response i was busy bangin girls

Was that a good way to start up after a friend's funeral? Her thumb wavered over the "send" button for a moment before ultimately deciding to go for it. Maybe he'd appreciate the humor. She turned her attention to the mass of messages from her parents, thinking up how to respond.

"Sorry I was-" No.

"I meant to-" Nah.

To: Mom and Dad
Did my text not go through?

They wouldn't buy that for a moment, but at least they wouldn't mention it again. She scratched the back of her neck, feeling a bit guilty about lying.

From: Mom
Oh, that must be it! Why don't you get a new phone already? Hurry home, see you soon, love you lots <3

And that was the end of it, save the disappointed look that would come when her mother thought Anne wouldn't be able to see it. She tucked her phone back into her bag and grabbed her keys. She let them rest in the ignition for a moment, honestly considering just turning and driving back to California before turning out onto the street and heading for the nearest liquor store. Maybe a bottle of wine would save her from that look her mother planned to send.

Setting

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Character Portrait: Rosemary Scott Character Portrait: James Goldsmith
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It took five minutes for Rosemary to check her phone after James had messaged her. She cursed herself for being so anxious. It was just a stupid text, why did it matter? Once she calmed herself down, she opened the message app. Her heart skipped a beat. Seeing James again would be great; maybe she would find out why he left. She took a deep breath, and began to type her response:

To James:
Yeah! I can't wait to see you.

Was that too formal? She felt if she put another smiley face at the end, it would look weird. Rose was always socially awkward. She decided against it and quickly pressed send before she could stop herself. She wasn't far from the park luckily, so she could get there in about five minutes. She took off into a run, almost tripping over her heels. Shit, not a good idea. She took a deep breath and continued at a slower pace.

When she finally reached the park. Her gaze darted around the park. There were so many memories here, memories that she would never forget. This was where she fell in love with James. But she had idea if he had feelings for her. She didn't know herself, her heart was shattered by the previous boy. But there was a small bit of hope in her, James was never mean to her. She walked on the sidewalk towards the swings. She inhaled sharply and took a seat on the swing next to him.

Her heart was pounding faster than a drum and she was shaking. What was she supposed to say? She chewed on her lower lip, figiding in her seat. "H-Hi," she stammered, silently cursing her stutter. She turned her head towards her childhood friend with a small smile on her visage, "I haven't seen you in forever."

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Character Portrait: Rosemary Scott Character Portrait: James Goldsmith
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During the short time he waited for her to arrive, James couldn't help but worry. It had been some time since he last saw her. Things must have changed. She was in college, away from her asshole father and going places while he had been spending his days hiding out in a bar under an assumed name. What was his reaching out for her but a foolish hope for to have what could never be his?

Yet, there she was, taking a seat next to him like no time had passed. His heart sped up like it had that time in 6th Grade, when he had suddenly realized just why she was special to him. He smiled at her.

"Rose," he murmured, "It's been too long."

He looked her over. She was even more beautiful than he remembered, but her nervous fidgeting was undeniably Rosemary. He placed a hand on her shoulder like he used to do, the movement familiar and unconscious, "How have you been?"

Setting

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Character Portrait: Anne Preacher Character Portrait: James Goldsmith Character Portrait: Oliver Pierce Character Portrait: Jude Ahn
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Anne heard her phone buzz inside her bag, but didn't pick it up until she was parked in front of the Liquor Plus. Liquor plus what? Who could say. She took her phone out, checked the lock screen to see who it was from, then stuck it back in her bag. She grabbed the strap of her messenger bag and opened her door, pushing it through the sepia-toned man who had been staring through her window the whole drive from the diner. She stepped out of her car and slung the bag over her shoulder, then walked up to the liquor store.

A bell rang as she walked in, that same little chime all cheap liquor stores seem to have on their door. She moved to look through the small selection of wine kept on the shelf at the back away from the sunlight filtering through the glass front door, taking out her phone again and unlocking it.

To: Oliver (Not the Cat)
>does red or white wine say "sorry for not telling you i was coming home and then sleeping in my car for two days" better
>do you think theyll let me shower before the questions start or should i drive my car through the community pool on the way there

To: Unsaint Jude
>kinda similar, mine had a stretch limo and complementary caviar
>perks of being a cop kid i guess

In truth, Anne has been absolutely petrified when the officers had approached to take her in for questioning. She wasn't entirely sure how to explain that to anyone, though; not without hinting at something dark and deeply buried. Another thing to play pretend about, joy of joys.

She grabbed a random bottle of the shelf, realizing she'd been standing back there texting for almost five minutes. "Insomnia," the label read. Wasn't alcohol supposed to make people sleepy? Why would someone name their wine the exact opposite of what it actually did? She also somehow doubted this wine would be any good. Oh well. Maybe her late-working parents would appreciate the irony. Did they still work nights? They both had been before she left, but to be honest she wasn't entirely sure if they still had the same professions. Well, her dad was clearly still in law enforcement, considering his cop buddies had ratted her out, but she hadn't heard anything about what her mother was up to.

She purchased her dubious wine and left the store, taking a moment outside the driver's side door to thumb through her phone again. She'd seen a lot of old faces at the funeral, and it had only just occured to her that she didn't have any of their numbers. It didn't matter, not really, she hadn't spoken to any of them since high school, but... maybe it was simple nostalgia, but she felt she should at least say hi. For old time's sake, for...

She took a deep breath and leaned against her car, the bottle wrapped in a brown paper back hanging by the neck from two of her fingers. So Hannah was dead. The reality of it didn't so much hit her as settle heavily over her shoulders, like the fog which visited the town on early spring mornings. She found it difficult to recall their last conversation, or even what Hannah looked like outside the framed picture that had been resting on her casket. Had they ever really been close? Close enough for her to drive halfway across the country, close enough to take a full month off work, apparently, close enough to bring all those different faces back home, but she couldn't really recall why, or how. It made her feel guilty.

To: Unsaint Jude, Oliver (Not the Cat), Drunkpants the Sexually Misaligned

Actually, that name wasn't doing it for her anymore. she made a quick edit in the contact info.

To: Unsaint Jude, Oliver (Not the Cat), James from Team Rocket
feeling nostalgic, dont suppose you could set me up with everyones new phone numbers

With that, she opened her car door and got in the seat, setting the bottle down on the passenger-side floor. Time to head home! Yay.

Setting

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Character Portrait: Rosemary Scott Character Portrait: James Goldsmith
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At first, Rosemary felt repulsed. Every time someone would touch her shoulder or arm, she would flinch. After all the bruises and scars that had been laid on her arms, her arms were sensitive to touch. She had to remind herself that this was James, and he wasn't going to hit her. She chewed on the bottom of her lip, trying to figure out what to say. Her nerves were driving her crazy.

I-I know it has, J-James," she stammered nervously. She was trying to keep herself together, but there were already tears forming on her facial features. She reached up and wiped them with her hand, looking down at her lap. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

The next question really made her upset. How was she really? She spent her life in constant tragedy and she thought life would get better in college. It was a bumpy ride and she wanted to disconnect herself from everybody but Hannah had to pass away and ruin everything. "I don't know anymore," she responded truthfully. "I thought college would be better. But I ended up meeting a mini version of my dad," she continued. She hadn't opened up about what had been happening in years. She never thought she would even be saying this to James at all.

"When I think things get better, they get worse. No one wants me to be happy and I have to accept that," she uttered. She never thought she would have to say this, but it was true. Rosemary grew up on constant hate and criticism. There was no true happiness, only fake smiles with fake laughter to jokes that weren't even funny. That's how she got along in life. "I need to ask you something, can I stay at your place for the night? I don't have any money to stay another night in the motel and I sure as hell am not staying with my dad," her hand subconsciously moved towards the one that touched her shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. "Please?"

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Character Portrait: Rosemary Scott Character Portrait: James Goldsmith
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James felt his heart break as she listened to her words. Why? Why did she have to suffer like this? How could anyone not treat Rosemary like the goddess she was? He felt his fists clench themselves and he suddenly wanted to find whoever made her suffer and beat him to a pulp. James was easy-going by nature, but people who hurt Rose deserved no sympathy.

He gripped her hand and almost growled, "I won't let him hurt you again. Not him or anyone else."

It was his fault, he knew. If he hadn't started dealing drugs, he could have been there for her. He could have kept her safe. He stepped closer to her and, slowly hugged her. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable, but it felt wrong not to do this.

"You deserve to be happy. Of course you can stay with me. It'll be like old times."

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Character Portrait: Rosemary Scott Character Portrait: James Goldsmith
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Rosemary's face immediately lit up. She was so worried that he would say no. She was up almost all night, trying to figure out what to do. All it took was five minutes to solve her problems if she actually talked to someone. "Oh my god, thank you," she whispered. Relief filled the blonde's features as she stared at James. She didn't know what to say next.

"No no, don't worry about me," she shook her head. She genuinely didn't want anyone to feel sorry for her. It made her feel like she was even more of a victim than she thought she was before. "It's in the past now, I honestly don't care," she said with a bit of uncertainty. In all honesty, she did care. She constantly cared about what happened to her. Maybe if she wasn't born, or if she ended her own life things would be better.

She glanced down at her lap, slipping her hand back over to her side. She felt that their contact had lingered a little too long. She didn't even know if he felt that way and she didn't want to seem creepy. An idea popped into her mind, she grimaced. "Do you ever wonder what would happen if you didn't disappear? I don't mean to pry..."

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Character Portrait: Rosemary Scott Character Portrait: James Goldsmith
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Rosemary pursed her lips, hearing the confession made her wonder what had happened. A pained look formed on her visage. The sad truth was, she would still leave. Smithbrook was the town that raised her and also crushed her. She looked over at the area around them, before turning back to him.

"I would have still left," she said sadly. "This place was toxic for me. Even if the only person I cared about the most stayed, I just couldn't..."

She could feel tears beginning to form. It would hurt her to say those things, but he wouldn't know who they were about. Sometimes she was glad she could keep those secrets that no one should know.

"I'd be a mess, and I'd probably scare people away. I'd be so unhappy with how my life was going," she sniffled. "I don't know if it would be enough."

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Character Portrait: Rosemary Scott Character Portrait: James Goldsmith
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"I would have gone with you," he said, his admission hanging in the air like an early morning fog. It was true, he realized with little surprise. Rose had been the best part of his life in this town and if she left and she would have him, he'd leave too. He looked away, wondering just how much of an admission this was on his part.

"You deserve to be happy. You know that, right? Don't tell yourself otherwise," he told her. He looked at her again and frowned when he saw her tears. He leaned closer to her, "Don't cry..."

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Character Portrait: Rosemary Scott Character Portrait: James Goldsmith
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Rosemary bit her lip, lifting her sleeve to wipe the tears. "I'm sorry, it's just too much for me to talk about," she muttered quietly. She let out a quiet groan as she looked around the playground. She wanted nothing more than to just go back to California. Things were slightly easier there. She could go back to working on her novel that was an allegory to her troubles in Smithbrook. She stared into the distance, trying to calm herself down. She didn't exactly mind crying in from of James, it's just she doubted she could stop crying. After a minute of silence, she returned her gaze back to James. "I-I get it, but I don't understand what happiness is anymore. Whenever I feel just remotely happy it gets taken away from me. I'm cursed," she muttered. The girl's thoughts were wild, but she was trying her best to keep it together. "Would you really have gone with me? Somehow I don't believe you..." she said absent-mindedly. She had no idea if James even cared about her that much to go all the way across the country with her. She had lost trust in most things now. For all she knew, he could be lying to her.

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Character Portrait: Rosemary Scott Character Portrait: James Goldsmith
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Her mouth was wide open in shock. What he had said, was it all true? She didn't know what was happening; she didn't know what to say or do. "James, I can't believe... I only kept going because of you. There were so many times when I wanted to commit suicide. I thought it was all my fault. But you," she said in one breath. She cleared her throat, shaking her head. "You changed my mentality, you made me happy. When you left, I didn't know what to do with myself. Everything felt so terrifying and I... I love you. I've loved you since I first set my eyes on you. This confession is probably too late because I'm going back to California tomorrow. But I... I just had to say it."

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Character Portrait: Rosemary Scott Character Portrait: James Goldsmith
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James knew this dream. Any moment now, he'd wake up from being passed out at the bar and bitterly regret the direction he took his life. He waited for that moment, but seconds ticked by and he was still there. Just to make sure he pinched himself. It was real. He shivered, but whether it was from fear or excitement he did not know. Finally, he could not resist. He approached her and pulled her close to him. His nose detected the scent of paint and the perfume he never bothered to learn the name of, a scent that was undeniably hers.

"I love you too. I always have. I can hardly remember a time where I didn't love you. These past few years, they've been hell without you. I'll follow you to California. I don't care what the feds say."

And then he kissed her. It was sudden and impulsive, but that was how he was. He was not one to live life with regrets and his biggest regret was right here, in his arms.