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Spence Heath

"My tongue's turning black, but I'll take you back."

0 · 584 views · located in Smithbrook

a character in “No One Mourns The Wicked”, originally authored by partially-stars, as played by RolePlayGateway

Description

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Image"My tongue's turning black, but I'll take you back. "
{Give Me Novacaine | Green Day}

Name:
Spencer David Heath
Nicknames:
Spence, Spen, Heath
Age:
19
Gender:
Male
Sexuality:
Bisexual
Ethnicity:
White




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"'We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worst that has been done to us."
{ Lover Dearest | Marianas Trench}


Appearance:
Jamie stands at 6'2, and has a relatively narrow frame. He's in good physical shape, but isn't spectacularly muscular or anything. He's got longish dirty blonde hair that he usually just sweeps to one side. He doesn't spend any amount of time on his hair. His eyes are blue-grey. Both his cheekbones and jawline are strong, emphasised by his narrow face. His nose is pierced on one side, and he has a tattoo of a heartbeat on the small of his back. Although most have healed, he still has some marks left on his arms from the needles.

Secret:
In his younger years, Spence suffered from a heroin addiction. It started with lighter drugs- alcohol and weed. But then he got deeper and deeper into it, and ended up addicted to heroin. This all culminated in an overdose of some dodgy heroin when he was seventeen. Shortly after, he and his family moved away, afraid that rumours- or worse, the truth- would be spread.




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"Sometimes, before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger."
{ Miss Missing You | Fall Out Boy}

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Personality:
Addiction and recovery have changed Spence. No longer is he the light-hearted joker he used to be- but he is not the depressive addict he used to be either. He's much more honest than he used to be, both about himself and others. He's gentle and kindhearted- he seldoms passes a homeless person by without bringing them a hot drink or a sandwich. He also doesn't like to talk about himself, preferring to stay quiet and let other people talk. To those who only knew him before his addiction, this is a shock. But to those that knew him during his addiction, they're at least glad to see that he's doing better than he used to be. He's still not his old self- he's quieter and more reserved. But now and then, his old sense of humour and sense of mischief shines through. He's protective of those he loves.

However, he's still not completely over it. Even though he's two years clean now, he still struggles with bouts of cravings and depressive episodes. His doctors are reluctant to put him on any medication due to his addictive tendencies. He doesn't like talking about them, and sometimes he just tries to hide them- which usually only makes them worse. He still has a temper, which scares him slightly. He's terrified that he'll hurt someone. On his bad days, it's hard to get him to leave his room, let alone the house. He's also become more introverted, meaning that dealing with people tires him. He still has a tendency to avoid his problems.
Talents:
Helping people
Drawing
Cooking
Physically fit
Public speaking
Weaknesses:
Addictive tendencies
Social interaction drains him
Expressing himself
Talking about himself
Avoidant
Fears:
Relapse
Death




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"I can't help this awful energy, who is in control?"
{ Control | Halsey}


History:

Spence was born to a perfectly normal family. His mom was a teacher and his dad a chef. While their home life wasn't perfect, it was happy. For the most part, he and his older sister, Charlotte, got along reasonably well. Their disagreements were minor, and over the typical things that teenagers tend to argue about. Everyone was happy, both at home and at school. While Spence mightn't have been the most academically minded, he still enjoyed school and worked hard. His light-hearted, joking, friendly nature ensured his popularity. Nobody could have predicted what would end up happening.

When Spence was fifteen, Charlotte got sick. It was an aggressive and ultimately terminal cancer- one that Spence didn't even have the gene for. He had to stand by and watch as his formerly perfectly healthy sister wasted away to pretty much nothing, before dying a painful death. To try and forget about it, he started going out to parties. There, he started getting drunk and smoking weed. However, they led to the harder stuff- namely, heroin. At first, it was great- a way for him to forget everything.

But then he got hooked, and badly. As soon as he picked up on that, he tried going cold turkey- but that just ended in a relapse. Every time he tried to quit, it just got worse. He grew to hate himself for relying on such a drug, which led to his depressive episodes. He lost a lot of weight and became a recluse, only leaving the house to get his fix- and earn the money he needed to pay for the drugs. Break-ins, mostly, but he wasn't beyond pickpocketing.

He was seventeen when it happened. He'd tried to go cold turkey again and had lasted longer than ever before- but that also meant the cravings were worse than ever. Desperate, he took way too much of a dodgy batch. Except for his parents had decided to try and talk him into eating dinner for once, he mightn't have been found until it was too late.

He was moved to a rehab unit across the country, and his family cited a health problem related to what had killed Charlotte. It wasn't a complete lie, and it also meant that people didn't ask too many questions. He got himself clean with the help of a structured program, and started regularly attending counselling. It was decided that he'd have to go completely clean to prevent any problems happening again. His depressive episodes are still a problem, but the fear of addiction is an even greater problem.

His parents originally didn't want him to go back home for the funeral, but he insisted. They begrudgingly agreed, but are afraid of the effect it may have on his mental health.



Image"Though we're broken and defeated, the memory of you will carry on."
{ The Black Parade | My Chemical Romance}

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Other:
N/A
Face Claim:
Jamie Campbell Bower
Dialogue Colour:
#023d3d

So begins...

Spence Heath's Story

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Cameron Knight Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone
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"You sure you're okay, love? One of us can cancel our trips, come get you if it's all too much," his mother said. "Yeah, I was planning on staying in town for another little while anyway. Still have a few people I want to catch up with and so on," he replied, running his free hand through his hair. Both his mom and his dad had been called away on sudden business trips, a few days before he was supposed to fly home. Honestly, it suited him to the ground. As strange and unsettling as being back in town was, he was seeing friends he hadn't seen in years, and he'd take that. "Okay, well, I'll have my mobile, as will your father, so call us if you need us, okay? And enjoy yourself, honey. I'll talk to you when I get back," she said. "I will, Mom. You relax and don't be worrying about me, okay?"

"Your father says if you ruin the house with any parties, you're paying for renovations, by the way," she added, and Spence laughed. "Fair enough. Bye, mom," he said, rolling his eyes as she said her goodbyes on the other end. His parents had had the initiative to do up the family home and rent it out after they moved. They were currently between tenants, so instead of having to stay in a hotel, he had the house to himself. At times, it was lonely, but it also meant that he could stay as long as he liked.

Dressed in a leather jacket and jeans, he double checked himself before heading out of the house. He'd had a few days where his mental state had been shaky at best, so now that stability had returned, he was finally getting to meet up with some of the others.

To: Iggy
Starbucks, ten minutes? :D


To: Cam
Meeting Iggy for coffee now, but you feel like hanging out later?

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Audrey Ruth Jefferson Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone
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IGGY RAMONE



Town | Morning
Clothes
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Iggy was laying in her annex room, sat on the edge of her bed, already full dressed but with a sombre look. She'd dreamt about Frances the previous night, he'd be nearly one by now. She could imagine him, tall and scrawny but wit the same blonde curls she naturally had and it brought tears to her eyes to think about him growing up without her. She was pathetic. Lying to everyone because she'd been too scared to admit the truth. She hoped some how Frances knew she loved him, she prayed that he had the same kind of sense she did and knew somewhere across the state, he had a Mother that truly loved him. She sighed heavily, her shoulders shaking a little but before any tears could began tumbling past her eyes.

Her phone lit up besides her. She expected it to be Jude or Audrey but it wasn't.

It was Spence.

Just seeing his name kind of made her breath catch.

She loved Spence, as a friend and maybe to some degree like she used to as well but seeing him was always hard and left her feeling slightly hollow but she had to get use to it. He was back in town, there was no avoiding him and she still wanted him in her life, so she had to man up a bit more.

She checked herself in the mirror and took a deep breath. She pulled on her velvet black boots and looked at herself in the mirror. She wasn't ashamed of who she was but she wished what she could see behind her eyes was different, less dark.

To: Spence
Sure thing, Spence. I'll be there as soon as I can be.

'Soon as I can be', she reconsidered those words but she'd already clicked send. Living in the centre of town, she could be there in three minutes but she felt the need to prolong it so she didn't look eager or keen. She needed everything to be perfectly casual or realistically, everything would just fall apart again.

To: Audrey
Hey babe, sorry I know it's early. But I'm shitting myself. Spence wants to meet up, it's been a while. I don't know how to be and fuck- any ideas? Any advice?!?!

She trusted Audrey with these things, hence she messaged her first but she was very, very anxious as she walked out the front door. Both her parents were already at work, so she had no body to answer to or explain anything to. So she walked down to Starbucks straight away, taking her time with her steps and putting her earphones in so she could listen to Iggy Pop and the Stooges as she went.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Audrey Ruth Jefferson Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone
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Audrey was anxious about coming home. Her daughter was there and she'd left because she couldn't handle only being a sister to the girl when she knew the truth. Knowing that she would grow up thinking Audrey was her sister tore Audrey apart. If she ever found out the truth it would crush her parents relationship with her. After the birth she didn't even want to see the baby but her mother forced her to hold her. Giving her up was the hardest thing she could have done but there was nothing she could do, she wasn't ready to raise a child. The only good that came out of it was that the child was with her parents. Audrey didn't even want to know her name, she'd allowed her mother to name her.

There was no way she'd be staying with her parents but they insisted. So there she was sitting in her room. She'd been avoiding the baby, Maya who was now 2. When Audrey first showed up it was like meeting Maya for the first time. She instantly fell in love with the girl all over again but she knew no one could know the truth not after all these years of her lying. She avoided the child as much as possible but it proved useless. It was like Maya knew who Audrey was and wanted to be around her constantly.

Her room door slid open and a little girl in a pink onesie with clouds on it came crawling into her room. Audrey sat in front of her bed on the floor and picked her up, plopping her in her lap. "You know, a closed door means stay out," She cooed tot he girl and she let her play with her fingers. It was hard to get the thought that Maya belonged to her out of her head, it was much easier to forget when she was away.

She watched Maya play with her fingers until she felt her phone buzz under her butt. "Well girly, play times over." She said gently taking her hands away from the girl and placed her on the floor next to her. She pulled out her phone and read the text. Iggy and Spence dated after high school and ended up breaking up. Iggy never told Audrey why but she could guess it was the same reason Audrey and Spence's friendship went sour.

To Iggy
Just be yourself, and be cautious.

The last of the statement was regarding Iggy's feelings toward Spence. Audrey didn't know what made him become so distant back then but she also didn't know if whatever it was is still going on. She didn't want Iggy to get her hopes up of their old flame burning again.

Setting

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Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone
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He'd already left the house when Iggy's text came back in, and he found himself grinning like an idiot at her reply. He'd honestly missed her since leaving town- she'd been his confidante, the one person he'd been able to be completely honest with. Even when they'd broken up because of his problems, she'd still been his best friend. And no matter how bad he'd gotten, she'd never ran away or ditched him. That made it hard to fully get over her- but his feelings had gotten complicated in the mean time. But if nothing else, they could still be friends.

He could feel people's eyes on him as he walked, and his hand tightened around his keys in his pocket. He knew that it was probably all in his imagination, or that they were just trying to recognise if it was him or not- but he couldn't shake the feeling that they all knew. About his OD, about the addiction, about everything that had come with it... And even though he knew that he looked healthy again, he also was afraid that they were seeing the old him, the skeleton, the addict.

But as soon as he saw Iggy, he felt like his whole body lit up. He couldn't shake the grin off of his face as he held his arms open for a hug before he even said hello.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone
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IGGY RAMONE



Town | Morning
Clothes
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Iggy hadn't intended on arriving first but there she was sat on a burgundy sofa in a small coffee shop she used to know really well, she'd befriended the waitresses back in high school, she knew her favourite drink and even her favourite seat but it was all different now and the staff had changed. She sat there listening to David Bowie, she had 'Rebel, Rebel.' on repeat, it was one of her favourites but even that didn't even begin to calm her nerves. She read Audrey's text and considered it a few times and the girl was right, she should be cautious really for her own sake. He could have changed entirely, it'd been years since they last spoke but before she could text back or even read Jude's message, her head had swung up because she heard the coffee shop door open and she noticed Spence, grinning like a fool and she couldn't help but mirror expression. She wanted to be cool and guarded but they'd been too close, missed each other too much and apart too long for her to be rational in how she approached the reunion.

He didn't look any different to her, healthier than when she'd last seen him but the little things were the same. Her breath caught a bit but despite herself, upon noticing his open arms she'd dived up onto her feet to walk over and embrace him. She didn't let go of him, the hug was far from casual or collected but she didn't mind. Iggy was a physical person and she didn't know how else to tell Spence how big the whole in life had been without him around and how much she'd missed him, she didn't understand how to explain those emotions so instead she tried to show it with her actions, her touch; like she always had.

When they pulled away at last, she looked at him properly and sighed a little as it all dawned on her.

"You look great Spence," She told him gently, genuinely proud and over joyed to see him looking so much healthier and he seemed happy. She couldn't say if it was real, temporary or he lived this happily now but right then in that moment, she was fairly convinced he was genuinely happy again. "God, I've missed you Spence," She mumbled unashamed. "Did you get taller? You seem a bit taller," She thought out loud with a glimmering smile on her lips.

She hadn't realised how happy seeing Spence again would make her. It never occurred to her what it'd be like to see him again, she'd just kind of accepted he was gone and she should get over it; make new friends, find new love and she tried. There was Jude and Audrey but nothing had been the same as what they'd had, as friends and as a couple. Her phone vibrated twice, with messages from Jude but she didn't read them; she was distracted by a reunion with who, in the simplest of terms had ultimately been her first love.

Setting

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Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone
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As her arms locked around him, he only felt his grin widen and the butterflies in his stomach kick into overdrive. It had been far, far too long. He'd really, really missed her. With his spell in rehab, he'd fallen out of contact with pretty much everyone. He'd considered getting back in contact with her- but at that time, he'd convinced himself that she wouldn't want to know him. It had taken him far too long to get out of that mindset. But now that he was here with her, he wished that he'd gotten in contact sooner.

At her comment, he shrugged a little, still grinning. He laughed at her comment about him getting taller. "Nah, I just stopped slouching. One of my..." He was about to say doctors, but stopped, remembering all the people around. "...teachers, he used to constantly comment on my posture. It got irritating," he added, laughing a little. In reality, it had come with his newfound self-confidence. Or that's what his therapist said.

"How are you? And don't bullshit me, it might have been a long time, but I can still tell when you're lying," he said, nudging her in the side as he pulled her towards the counter to order.

Setting

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Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone
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IGGY RAMONE



Town | Morning
Clothes
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Iggy couldn't quite believe she was with him, the warmth of his embrace had been missing from her life for years but it still felt so right she couldn't even express how it felt to be reunited with someone who'd been so, so important to her life before.

She laughed softly at his comment about not slouching and smiled at him gently.

"Ah, that'll be it then. I can remember saying it to you too
Now I think about it," She smiled gazing up at him, she was trying to be cool and calm but she'd missed him so much for such a long time it was hard to put it into context now and appreciate the reality of their situation. She knew she ought to be cautious because he was a drug addict at the end of the day and all her friends would tell her just that but she couldn't be.

It was Spence.

She turned her eyes up to him and earth overwhelmed her expression as he asked about and she didn't disbelieve him,so for that reason she steered clear of lies or understatements.

"Yeah, I've been okay. I mean it's been kind of lonely since moving out of tone but I'm okay," She sighed softly. The loneliness was because she missed Frances, Iggy has never been a girl who needed a lot of friends just one or two true ones would do her fine and she'd been lucky to always find one wherever in the world she went but she was always lonely, unless she had Frances in her arms she figured she always will be. In her mind she tried to pin point the last time she'd seen him, what had gone. It was after Frances was born and of course he knew what happened- everyone did and he'd been with her afterwards since she'd refused to tell anybody else but now it kind of broke her heart to think for one moment, she had all she needed- her best friend and her son.

Now she'd be lucky to have one.

You could see in her expression she'd become thoughtful but it was hard to tell if her thoughts were uplifting or damaging but she followed him to the counter and turned to face him again, trying to let her thoughts go as she ran her pale hands over her dress absentmindedly, playing with the hem.

Setting

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Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone
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The past few years had been tough on all of them- it wasn't hard to see that Iggy was no exception to that. Leaving town had been easy for him- he'd been glad to leave everything behind in some ways. But Iggy had always been more sentimental than him.

As she finished speaking, he stepped up to the counter to order. "Hi, can I have a flat white? For Spence," he said, and the barista nodded, jotting down his name. He handed over the money and stepped back, glancing at Iggy. "Iggy, what're you having?" It was only then that he saw her expression. She was deep in thought, and not thinking about good things by the thought of it. He touched her arm gently. "Iggy, you okay?" he asked.

It was only then that he realised he had no clue what had gone down since he left. She said she was fine, that she was just lonely- but was that all? He couldn't blame her for not talking about it- after all, it wasn't like he'd been the best friend. Or boyfriend. He'd either been high, thinking about his next fix, or going through withdrawals. She'd stuck by him through all of it- but he'd disappeared not long after she needed him the most. He'd imagined that everything would just go back to normal- but now that he thought about it, he doubted it would work that easily. They were different people after all- it wouldn't be as easy as he wanted it to be.

Setting

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Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone
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IGGY RAMONE



Town | Morning
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She stared absentmindedly for a long moment, she hadn't been able to stop her mind from running away with what if's. What if Spence hadn't been addicted? Maybe they wouldn't have broken up and he could have given her the strength to not be a coward and selfish, like when she gave up Frances. After Spence left town she hated to admit but her 'fast lane' life style only spiralled further out of control for a long time. He'd been her anchor throw school and college, she'd never admitted to herself how tough losing him had been.

She blinked a little, only awoken from her trance when she felt his hand on her arm, she couldn't help but look at his hand, the feel and warmth of it still felt familiar as though only yesterday it'd been only natural to be in his embrace or holding his hand, but it had been years.

She could and yet at the same time couldn't, believe that.

She looked up at him and managed a thin smile, revealing just a flash of her pristine teeth. "Yes, of course I am. Just reminiscing y'know?" She told him and in fairness, she wasn't hiding all of the truth. Only the fact that truth hurt her more and more each day. "Urm, I'll have a caramel latte," She rambled a little nervously to server.

"To Iggy right?" They checked and the purple haired girl nodded in a small gesture before looking up at Spence.

"So, what have you been up to then? Two years is a lot of time, how'd you kill it?" She asked gently, she had to let all the troubles of al those years ago slide because she couldn't change what she'd done or the situation it put her in now, she could only change how she handled it and what she did about it. She just wanted to enjoy Spence's company again, like she used to every single day all that time ago.

Whilst they were ordering, she took the opportunity to quickly text back Jude;

To: Judeeee ;D
Yeah of course hun, hit me up later and we can make some plans but yeah you're right, this town does suck ass.


To: Judeeee ;D
No wonder everyone ditched -_-


She looked up at him and smiled softly. Adopting a new attitude and trying to forget about the son she abandoned, she turned her attention to their conversation. After they were given their coffees, she smiled as though she had an idea; "Hey, why don't we make this takeaway and take a trip down memory lane, we grew up here; might be nice to revisit some places," She suggested.

Setting

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Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone
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He sighed as she asked what he'd been up to. "Well, I spent I think... six, seven months as an inpatient in the clinic. Then I had to finish my high school education, and I'm taking a bit of time out to earn a bit of money and decide what I actually want to do in college right now. Waiting tables, and occasionally helping out at a local museum. It's not bad, to be honest. Doesn't pay that bad, at least," he said, shrugging a little.

It was better than sitting at home, reading through the handouts that his therapist so loved to give him on coping mechanisms and so on. He was always better when he wasn't thinking about it. Having somewhere that he needed to be helped keep him grounded. Most of the time, he was fine- but when he got bad, it was an encouragement to actually get out of bed and do something.

Once his coffee was ready, he took it and nodded at Iggy's suggestion. "Sounds good to me- I haven't seen much of town since I got here," he admitted, shrugging a little.

"So, what about you? What've you been up to since I left?" he asked.

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Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone
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IGGY RAMONE



Town | Morning
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Iggy listened to him very intently, a quietly sympathetic ear as always and she nodded along so he knew she was taking his brief explanation in and genuinely cared about what he said, then when he was finished; she looked up at him and smiled softly, clutching her coffee in her pale hands, her red painted nails just covering the tail of her name which had been scrawled across the cup in purple ink. "I'm really glad to hear things have turned around for you Spence, honestly. I knew they would," She told him softly with an assured glow in her expression and just a natural shimmer of confidence behind her eyes.

"Memory lane it is in then," She told him gently. She pulled her denim jacket to sit around her front more comfortably then let it go and kept walking, optimism irradiating her expression.

She couldn't pretend she didn't cherish his company and she couldn't lie to herself and say this wasn't the easiest conversation she'd have with someone since everyone left town but it didn't bother her. They were close once, it was bound to be like this.

She sighed when he turn came and took a moment to gather herself and prepare herself, she bit her tongue, let go of it and then bit it again before she eventually spoke. "Well after...after Frances, and then you left town. I went off the rails for a while, I think I consumed more drugs and alcohol in the three months after that then Britney Spears in her entire 2007 meltdown, after I while my Mum picked me up from a party and set me a bit straighter, I wanted to be productive, went vegan, I'm pretty hard core about that now and started blogging for a music magazine. Then I left town and I took up art again, I have some pieces at the local gallery and in a couple of stores back in Scotland from where I went home, they did pretty well and now I'm here. Dyed my hair blue, pink and purple somewhere within all of this and got a couple of tattoos," She explained everything very quickly, as though she wanted to get out the way as quickly as possible and move on from it all. Saying Frances name out loud had left her choked and made her squirm.

She felt so sickened by her own lie, she'd been able to live with it before but now looking Spence in the eye and talking about her past like she was so hard done by, she felt sick.

She started walking down the street, one step after another keeping herself in time with him. The town was so familiar she didn't even need to think about any of the turnings it just came naturally, she encouraged him to turn left by touching his elbow for a short moment and when they turned, their high school was standing there at the end of the lane and Iggy chuckled a little.

"Christ, you remember this place? Best and worst days of my life now I think about it," She sighed softly.

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Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone
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He nodded at her story, pulling his jacket over his hands a little as he walked. "It's good to hear you're doing well. That can't have been easy- I mean, I disappeared right in the middle of everything else you were going through,and that probably didn't help at all. I'm sorry about that," he admitted, shrugging a little. She'd pulled out of it much better than he had- by the sounds of things, her life was entirely back in control. He was barely out of where he'd been, and sometimes, falling back into it seemed much more appealing than it should have done. Those were the days where he didn't do much except sleep, and sometimes eat.

He laughed a little at her comment. "Well, while all of my best times happened while I was in school, I think it's safe to say that none of them actually happened in school. I mean, I didn't hate my time there, but at the same time, when you're dealing with other shit... being stuck there is hell." Not that he'd even been in that much when he'd been particularly bad.

"Being back home is weird, isn't it?" He remarked. "Everything's changed, and we've changed, and it's just... if it wasn't for the people, I would have flown home already." He laughed a little, staring at the ground. "Still, I'm kinda glad I have that option to run away now. Would have killed for that a few years ago."

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Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone
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IGGY RAMONE




Town || Morning
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      She looked at him and smiled appreciatively, at his response and she shrugged a little gently. "Thanks Spence, but it's okay. I pulled through didn't I? Still dancing and painting and writing, I like to think I didn't turn out too badly did I?" She joked gently looking over at him with a gentle grin. She knew he must have had a tough time before she felt like their reunion should be about positivity and moving on into a future where things went better for everybody because they'd already seen more than enough between them all.
      "Yeah I suppose, but the way I think of it is. I met you there, Jude, Anne, Maggie, you guys made were my life till we all moved away but then I suppose in an other sense, because of this place I went to that party and then everything else happened. I don't know y'know? Looking at the building I'm note sure if I should smile or cry," She admitted gently before nodding in agreement. "Yeah it is hell when you've got stuff on your mind,"
      She listened to him thoughtfully and sighed gently; "Yeah I know what you mean. Do you know what's weirder though? I couldn't leave this town because of Frances. It's stupid but I couldn't. I hate this town but I don't think I'll ever leave forever, Scotland just hasn't been home since and I'd love to run, even now but just can't," She knew it was a slightly emotional thing to say but she hadn't thought aout it twice and she didn't regret saying it. It was Spence, she never used to filter how words around him before, she hoped it wouldn't be any different now.
      Looking at him now in the corner of her eye, she could almost give in to the feelings she'd harboured and worn on her sleeve since she was 16. It was hard to remember what they'd been through and things weren't supposed to feel the same when everything was so easy. She bit her lip, closed her eyes and turned away, sipping her drink and praying when she opened her eyes again, she'd feel more stabilized and anchored.


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Character Portrait: Spence Heath
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A few hours later


This had been a mistake. He'd foolishly thought that it wouldn't be that bad, that he was able to handle it. But now that he was actually at the party, a plastic cup filled with something non-alcoholic clutched in his hand, he was starting to really regret his decision. He felt like he was in the past, like he had been shot two years into the past. But he hadn't seen Iggy yet, and he'd told her that he was going. If he just left and didn't tell her, he'd probably only screw up their relationship more.

Even though he was sitting outside, away from the party, he couldn't shake any of these feelings. He got the feeling that he'd be paying for this for a few days after. Everything just seemed horrifyingly familiar- the sounds, the smells- hell, even some of the people. He could feel that part of his brain starting to kick in again, telling him that there was one thing that would take away all of those feelings, that would make everything go away. He wished that he was strong enough to even have alcohol, something that could just relax him. But he couldn't have anything. And he couldn't leave. He just wanted to go home.

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Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Iggy Ramone Character Portrait: Jude Ahn
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IGGY RAMONE




Town || Morning
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      The party was something Iggy knew she shouldn't feel so comfortable with but there were two things Iggy understood, people and dance; at parties, those were the only two things she could guarantee. It gave her comfort, it gave her a buzz; of adrenaline. She could close her eyes and she could still navigate the party, it was instinct to her, second nature. She was standing outside on the door step, reluctant to go inside because she could imagine everything going wrong. These parties were the core of her existence when she got pregnant and before it, it's al she used to know and she didn't want to make her life messy like that again. She'd only stopped regularly smoking weed a few months ago and it'd be inevitable someone would offer her something her, it was what she was famous for in this town; letting loose, being the wild card, the hippie; she'd been a rock star with everything but the band and a part of her, would love to go though all of it again.

      To: Jude
      You here honey? I haven't seen anyone yet and nobody should drink alone at a party right?


      She shook her head a little and took a moment, there was no one outside. The house in front of her seemed to pulse with every bass beat. She looked down at herself, the dark green teal tulle mini skirt was one of her favourites and it gave her confidence, it was edgy, unique and the mauve crop top she'd picked suited it. She sighed, a long, heavy dramatic sigh and then let her hair down from it's ponytail, so it fell in purple crinkles and she went inside.

      To: Spence
      Hey, you said you were coming to the party right? I just got here. You around?


      She knew this party would be challenging in ways for both of them, admittedly different ways for Iggy had never suffered addiction only...possible instability. She could get a drink, meet up with Spence; that was her plan, Spence was safe, she could spend some time with him, keep herself grounded and then when she felt more comfortable, she could find Jude and her friends from the party scene before, it'd be nice.

      It'd be fun.

      It was a party, it'd be good fun, harmless and she wouldn't resort to the fast lane. She would not fuck up anymore. She smiled, laughed at her herself a little and bounced through the house to find the drinks and to get herself something to drink and find someone she could kill time with, she didn't want to be by herself tonight, not even for a moment.


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Character Portrait: Anne Preacher Character Portrait: Spence Heath Character Portrait: Maggie Kenneth Character Portrait: Jude Ahn
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This was a mistake. Coming here was a mistake. Parties has too much noise, too many people, too much happening at once, and without her meds she knew she was playing with fire. But she had to do this. She owed it to Jude, to Maggie, to herself to make an appearance, to try and act like a normal college student. Well, dropout, but the point was the same. It was time to put on her game face and convince all of creation that she could still function as a person.

And so here she was, showered and dressed in something approximating clean clothing, sitting in her car on the curb outside. She rubbed at her eyes, then moved her hands out to rub her face instead. She looked at herself in the rear view mirror, hair down, hands over her mouth, and sighed heavily. Then she opened the car door and stepped out.

She could see lights flashing from the windows, could feel the bass pumping even though she stood on the sidewalk twenty feet from the front door. She saw a guy with messy blond hair sitting outside, but no sign of Maggie, Jude or Oliver. Was Oliver even here? Somehow she doubted it, and she'd never replied to Maggie's last text so she doubted Maggie would be actively waiting for her to make an appearance.

Maybe I'll see you there.

"Like yeah, sure, I guess you could come. If you want." Very noncommittal. She tugged at the sleeves of her plain blue hoodie, her eyes moving to the guy outside again. He looked familiar, somehow, though she couldn't quite... wait.

"Spence?" She said his name before she could catch herself, and her reflex was to pretend she hadn't said anything and go inside. Instead she walked over. May as well say hello, right? Even though she hadn't seen him since he started high school. "Spencer Heath, right?" He looked different. She almost hadn't been able to recognize him. Couldn't recognize Maggie though, could you?

"Um. Annie, I mean Anne Preacher." She gestured vaguely to herself. "Do you remember me? I mean it's been a while, and last time I saw you, you were..." ...Shorter.