"Stay there." Shiori's eyes embodied complete shock as Shin entered the classroom. He was going to be her classmate?! This was so embarrassing. She did her best to hold it together, but her mind immediately turned to the embrace they shared earlier and caused her heart to skip a beat.
Riko turned around to stared at Shiori, her dark eyes worried as she saw Shiori's reaction,
"Do you know him, Shi-chan?" She asked in a hushed whisper. Riko looked a lot like Shiori, they just kept their bangs cut in opposing fashions and styled their hair differently. If they styled their hair the same way the only obvious difference would be Riko's sheer lack of breasts.
"N-no I've never seen him before." Her tone was insistent and harsh, but also quiet enough so no one else but Mimi and Riko would hear. Riko turned around in her seat, back facing Shiori, though she could feel the doubt pouring from Riko's pores. Her friend didn't believe her at all... Why should she? It was a total lie.. She looked over to the other side of the room and noticed that Sakura, Rin, Michiru, Jordan, and Narueki were all late, though she assumed that Narukei was absent due to Yukito being sick.. Jordan was probably off being a pig..
"Okay, get it together. You'll be receiving a new classmate for this year." Suddenly she felt so alone in the room. She wanted to change this year, but she was being thrown so many curve balls that she couldn't stand it. First Narukei, then Sakura.. Now this? She felt like she was suffocating under all of the pressure. How was she supposed to thrive under all this pain, embarrassment, and animosity? It felt like she was being crushed under all of these expectations. Narukei expected her to pretend like nothing was wrong, Yukito wanted her to fight back, Nemui wanted her to succeed in school, her coach wanted her to dominate in archery competitions and her heart wanted to mend.. She felt like she was sinking in a bottomless lake, drowning, yet clinging to her last thread of life.. It was painful... She didn't cry, because it wasn't scary, but also because she was in a room full of people that she didn't trust to see her in a weak state.
Unlike the rest of the class she wasn't focused on Shin, at least not anymore. She was clenching at the left side of her blazer, right where her heart would be. There was piercing pain, she couldn't ignore it.. yet no one noticed either. She immediately rested her head on her desk, not wanting anyone to figure it out anyway. She could handle a panic attack, she was used to this pain. She just had to focus on her breathing, count, relax..
"Introduce yourself." The words were muffled, like she'd actually dunked herself underwater, but she did make them out.
"
Shin Ogawa, nice to meet you all."
She heard his voice, the annoying sound that the girls made afterwards, it was worse than nails on a chalkboard, yet none of them cared. They were young, infatuated, and very naïve.. They didn't know heartache. They didn't experience being dumped like she had.. They didn't know what was in store for them.. yet she prayed that they would never have to find out. She prayed that no one would have to feel the pain she felt in her chest.. No one deserved it, no one deserved to constantly doubt themselves, to be afraid of intimacy, no one deserved to feel like the only way to remain safe was to shut everyone away and protect their heart.
"Silence all of you! Take your seat Ogawa-san." "Uhm, Ogawa-kun! Are---are--are you the top model EDGE?" "
Suddenly she snapped out of her anxiety and slowly say up, looking at Shin. Not in the same way as the other girls, no, it was innocently. She finally realized where she knew him from!
"
Keep it a secret, okay?"
The girl who asked the question fainted, and an irritated expression formed on Shiori's face. He was good looking, but wasn't that a bit ridiculous?
"
It's seems we keep bumping to each other huh, Shiori-san."
She could feel Riko's glare and Mimi's curiosity, but she ignored both and responded with an energetic smile,
"I guess so, just don't mistake me for one of them." She replied with a roll of her eyes, jabbing her thumb in the direction of the fan club. After making her point clear, Shiori stuck her tongue out at him. She wasn't fawning, she wasn't crushing.. She wasn't sure how to do things like that anymore.. Or maybe Yukito was right, perhaps she wasn't over Narukei? Just the though caused her pain. How could she still feel something for a prick like that? Someone who only cared about himself and treated women as if they were easily disposable.. She was the worst..
"
I guess we're classmates, I'll be in your care from now on then."
"A-are you messing with me?" She replied back with a slightly surprised expression, but it was accompanied with a childish pout. Then she realized where she'd seen him before,
"S-Shizuka Santioa! Have you worked with her before?" She wasn't sure if he would answer, but it didn't matter. She definitely remembered him. Her and Nemui actually got to go to work with their mother that summer. She didn't remember at first because she was scared at the time they met, but there was no mistaking it now.
She honestly could have began modeling or even acting with her mother if she chose, but her and Nemui both promptly refused the proposal. Nemui because she hated the attention and the form fitting clothes, but Shiori loved all of that.. Her mother was her idol, and yet now she felt terrified of her past dream. There was no way she was going to let pictures of her go international. She wasn't physically fit enough yet and she didn't feel comfortable in her own skin anymore, and she doubted she ever would again. This is why she chose a mediocre job in a mediocre town.. No one would remember her and pictures were not allowed at the café.
Two more new students came in, Aina Malik and Ren Katsukawa, but her attention was shot. She didn't even notice the nickname Ren picked out for her. The rest of the day she was somewhat spaced out in her own thoughts, but then the bell rang and school was over.
She didn't have practice today so Shiori gathered her things quietly. Her friends already left due to club activities and Nemui sent her a text that she would be walking home with a friend she made today.. So Shiori would be on her own,
"Sayonara, Sensei!" And she went to the office and apologized to the principal, weaseling her way out of detention, though she doubted she would be so lucky next time.
Shiori walked through the halls and made it outside. The sky was no longer angry, but it was still rather pale and moody. She began walking home, earphones in her ears. She was not looking forward to returning to Sakura Square.. but Yukito was sick... and Narukei said he was spending a week with some woman, someone would have to watch the ill boy.. At least until she was forced to leave for work. The world around her was so.. dull. It was so monochrome.. She wanted to see a colorful world, yet all she saw was shades of gray. She hated feeling like this.