Personality To be honest, I have no idea what my personality is. I can only tell you the basics of what I have concluded after years of observing from my point of view as well as everyone else's. For a start, I always have wars in my mind. I am hot-headed yet I am not easily angered. Now, you must be really confused. So am I. Let just say that for example: If I'm in a good mood, I will brush off everyone's insults and can still sing happily. However, if I'm in a bad mood, even the slightest insulted sentence or even if that sentence means nothing bad, I will still lash out at everyone around me. Especially the one had said that sentence. Sometimes, I act on impulses and often do things that I haven't thought of the consequences yet. However, I always feel guilty after an argument or after throwing an insult to anyone's face. Yeah, It's weird I know but I will be tortured by the images and memories of my actions until I force myself to apologize or forget about the experience.

I can lie very easily. Very easily. I can lie to your face without blinking an eye and acting as if nothing is wrong. Don't get the wrong ideas that I lie to harm you or anything. It's just...I think it's just a bad habit of mine. My lies can be harmless and I don't lie whenever the situation is serious. I can make up stories pretty fast. Like I can make a soapy romance or a tragic story in a blink of an eye even though I'm not really fond of doing that. It just comes naturally to me. I don't even need to practice lying to lie well.

And I don't have the slightest idea what I am. Am I good? or am I evil? Yes, I do know that nothing is black or white but a gray color. But am I white gray or black gray? Which side fits me more? Sometimes, when I look at another human, even a complete stranger, I suddenly have the impulse to just go there and snap his/her neck or harm her physically/mentally. Before you ask, no...I have not acted on my impulses but It just like...there's something triggers inside my when I look at her/him. I love the nature with a passion. Yes, I'm not lying. I'm being serious. I love the nature. I enjoy sitting on the beach, watching the sunset or sunrise and/or watching the waves crash into the shore. I love the endless green paddy fields of my country. And I hate humans for destroying it. For building big blocks of houses and preventing me from seeing the nature. For killing animals. For many things. I sometimes wish I can have some kind of power to make the nature as beautiful as it has been. I even wish to destroy the humankind. How can you say that I'm not evil or dark? But every single time I look at a bugger or a homeless, I feel my heart breaks for them. Yeah, I know that some buggers in my country are just too lazy to find a job and expect everyone to give them money but I feel my emotions flicker inside me nonetheless. My friends say that I'm too good for my own good but am I? or am I not?

In the sixteen years of my life, I never once fall in love. Never once. Yes, I have had a crush but I quickly squash my emotions aside almost immediately so I don't have to feel any attractions toward him. Don't get the wrong ideas, I'm not afraid of a relationship. I just don't feel the need to get involve in a relationship. In my point of view, I'm still too young to have that kind of feelings and with that thought in mind, I often eliminate any kinds of affection before it even has the chance to sparkle. Therefore, when it comes to love, I'm pretty much useless. I can only offer the point of view of someone who never loves someone and thinks of love as an unnecessary emotion. I also never experience joy. You don't believe me? Let's hear my explanation. Yes, I do laugh and smile and grin a lot but I never feel any kinds of emotions behind it. Almost like my smiles are empty or something. I know it sounds a little...unbelievable. Heck, I know I'm sounding like a crazy and weird kid but I'm telling you the truth. I feel scared, guilty and sad or even pity before and every time I feel those emotions, I always know but when it comes to joy or love. Yes, I can still realize your funny jokes and laugh but I never actually feel the joy. It's hard to explain but basically, that's what I feel when I laugh or smile...emptiness.

I'm also very shy and don't like to communicate or even have human contacts with the others. I relax whenever I'm near my friends but when I'm near a stranger, I usually can't never open my mouth to ask a thing. Just a shy smile or a nod of the head. It annoys me greatly since it makes me feel...weak but I can't change it. I tried. And failed. And in the end, I figure out that I enjoy listening to others' conversations more and observing them than offering my opinions. However, as my avatar has suggested. I wear many different layers of masks. Timid, shy when I'm near the strangers. Bold, unafraid and always ready to accept others' suggestions when I'm in the Internet. Talkative, cheerful, crazy and open but can lie easily when I'm near my friends or parents. I guess it's just a part of me that I can't change.

Background Information I was born on August 18th, 1995 in a small but beautiful city in Vietnam - Nhatrang City. My father is a dentist and my mother is a housewife. I have an older brother - fifteen years older than me to be exact. I live a sheltered life and never have the chance to explore the world on my own since my parents are quite protective of me because of my brother. Why? You must be asking yourself. Simple, really...my brother is not the usual type who likes to annoy the hell out of his sister. My brother is a criminal. I have lived for 16 years but in those years, I only have vague memories of the time when he wasn't in the prison. He spent half of his life in jail and the first memory I can recall is of the time when I visited him with mother. My father practically disowned him. My parents have different religions and therefore, they often argue with each other about their religions. I'm the one who stand between them and therefore, it tore me apart whenever my parents forced me to choose a side - My father's side or my Mother's side. Thanks God it's not happening as frequently as it did before. And so, I...kinda develop a belief for myself. I respect the deaths and never insult any other Gods but fully believe in them? No, I do not fully believe in them. I think of them as figures and nothing more than that. I have developed a rather low self-esteem since I was young because of my body and my lack of experience toward the world, the community. I live but never truly have a purpose. Just do whatever my parents tell me to do and don't have a dream...at least not the realistic dreams that can come true. I bury myself in books and fantasy world, a world where my imagination has no limit and I can fully be myself. I don't know when it begins but before I know it, I have already developed unusual dislike for humans and unhealthy love for the bad guys or I often say to myself: the bad boys. Of course, I already figured it out that my love is not the usual love for bad boys that teenager girls usually have but almost like... worship? admire? yeah, maybe even idolize. My dislike for humans is unusual, too since I'm not actually hate them. I pity them sometimes but I usually wish that humans never exist... and yes, that includes me...the world would certainly become a much better place in my opinion. At school, I have to constant lie to my friends about having a brother that is a computer engineer and guess what? I think that what makes me develop my lying habit. I really don't have any purposes in living now other than the fact that I just have to do it. I guess in the future, if we didn't die in 2012 or something, I would study whatever field my parents want me to and then become an ordinary human even though I'm very greedy and want power, money and everything else and more of it all. But remember that I never said that, 'kay? Now, I will stop my rambling since I guess you have at least begun to see my personality. I hope you can see beyond my masks and tell me...What lies beneath those masks I often wear?