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Natalie James Bexley

"I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me"

0 · 821 views · located in Brink Clinic

a character in “Shared Delusions”, as played by emotionless

Description

Image 「Natalie James Bexley」
/////////////////////////////////

"As lost as Alice; As mad as the Hatter."
Full Name:xxxxxxxxx▖| Natalie James Bexley
Nicknames:xxxxxxxxx▖| "Nat" | "Bex" | "Bexley"
Age:xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx▖| Twenty Three
Gender:xxxxxxxxxxxx▖| Female
Sexuality:xxxxxxxxx▖| Bisexual
Ethnicity:xxxxxxxxx▖| Caucasian & French English
Former Residence:xx▖| Dallas, Texas
Current Residence:x▖| Brink Research Lab
Former Occupation:x▖| Part time Library Assistant/ Part Time Ranch Hand
Dialogue:xxxxxxxxxx▖| 122EA3
Thoughts:xxxxxxxxxx▖| 18A38D
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Hair Color: xxxx▖| Blonde
Eye Color:xxxxx ▖| Hazel
Height:xxxxxxxx ▖| 64 inches
Weight: xxxxxxx ▖| 150Ibs
Suffers From: . ▖| PTSD w/ Seizures
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ▖| Major Depressive Disorder
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ▖| Body Dysmorphia
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ▖|Synesthesia


xxxxxxx■////////////////////////////////////// 「about Natalie James Bexley」
Disordersxxxxxxx

Natalie suffers from body dysmorphia. Most people have something they don't like about our appearance — a crooked nose, an uneven smile, or eyes that are too large or too small. And though we may fret about our imperfections, they don’t interfere with our daily lives.
But people who have body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) think about their real or perceived flaws for hours each day.

They can't control their negative thoughts and don't believe people who tell them that they look fine. Their thoughts may cause severe emotional distress and interfere with their daily functioning. They may miss work or school, avoid social situations and isolate themselves, even from family and friends, because they fear others will notice their flaws.

They may even undergo unnecessary plastic surgeries to correct perceived imperfections, never finding satisfaction with the results.
Natalie is known to suffer from Mild PTSD. Posttraumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, is a serious potentially debilitating condition that can occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a natural disaster, serious accident, terrorist incident, sudden death of a loved one, war, violent personal assault such as rape, or other life-threatening events. Trauma survivors who have PTSD may have trouble with their close family relationships or friendships. Their symptoms can cause problems with trust, closeness, communication, and problem solving, which may affect the way the survivor acts with others.

Nat also suffers from Major depressive disorder. Sadness is a natural part of the human experience. People may feel sad or depressed when a loved one passes away or when they’re going through a life challenge, such as a divorce or serious illness. However, these feelings are normally short-lived. MDD, also referred to as clinical depression, is a significant medical condition that can affect many areas of a person’s life. It impacts mood and behavior as well as various physical functions, such as appetite and sleep. People with MDD often lose interest in activities they once enjoyed and have trouble performing everyday activities. Occasionally, they may also feel as if life isn’t worth living

Natalie has Synesthesia, though one cannot say she suffers from it, as to her it is a beautiful experience. Guitar music doesn't just tickle Natalie's fancy--it also brushes softly against her ankles. When she hears violins, she also feels them on her face. Trumpets make themselves known on the back of her neck. In addition to feeling the sounds of musical instruments on her body, Nat sees letters and numbers in brilliant hues. Natalie tastes in technicolor. The taste of beef, such as a steak, produces a rich blue, mango sherbet appears as a wall of lime green with thin wavy strips of cherry red.

The phenomenon--its name derives from the Greek, meaning "to perceive together"--comes in many varieties. Some synesthetes hear, smell, taste or feel pain in color. Others taste shapes, and still others perceive written digits, letters and words in color. Some, who possess what researchers call "conceptual synesthesia," see abstract concepts, such as units of time or mathematical operations, as shapes projected either internally or in the space around them. And many synesthetes experience more than one form of the condition.

Dispositionxxxxxxx

Natalie comes off as very open and friendly to all she meets, mostly because she believes in giving everyone a fair shot. That does not, however mean she is not wary of everyone she meets. She does not trust easy, and once someone has lost her trust there is very few ways to win it back. She finds herself biting her tongue a lot only because her wit can be misconstrued as bitchy. She has a dry sense of humor, but a big heart. Natalie is fiercely independent, extremely ambitious, persistent, and determined.

Natalie is also very flexible she can re-survey any situation and take a different approach if necessary, which sometimes makes her come off as manipulative though that is not her intent. She is the clearest of thinkers, looking at a project from all sides and putting forth some logical and well-thought-out ideas. She tends to bring her objective reasoning and big-picture ability to the table. While some may perceive all this logical thought as cold and unemotional, it's simply how Natalie ticks.

All in all Natalie is very deep, intense person, there is always more than meets the eye. She presents a cool, detached, and unemotional air to the world yet lying underneath is tremendous power, extreme strength, intense passion and a strong will and a persistent drive.

Natalie is considered a loner of sorts, she connects with very few, though as if a completely separate person she is a social butterfly. She doesn’t try to be distant but finds herself drifting in her own inner world, a sea of worries. She holds her emotions under a tight leash as she fears opening up to people, and then loosing them. She has a desperate need to be responsible and she likes to take care of others, she feels it gives her purpose. She is the type of person who sees the best in people even when the world sees the worst.

Though Natalie is reserved, though she has an adventurous streak, and curiosity that would kill any cat (so to speak, as she loves animals so she would never hurt any animal). She loves reading because it takes her on adventures she would never have in her own real life. Her personal favorite is Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll.

She can be a leader when need be, but she gets along well in a team setting. She is self-motivated and diligent which is why she was promoted to leadership at the cafe she worked at within the first few weeks. She is a great listener and takes criticisms in stride, not that she can really argue with them in the first place.

Traits & Quirksxxxxxxx

Natalie tends to talk to herself, though its more to work though any issue she may have going on at that moment. She sings when she think she's alone, which she spends most of her time alone. Due to her Synesthesia Nat tends to loose herself in the colors that emerge. She plays 'Fur Elise' in the air or on any flat surface she can find when she is anxious. She also runs her fingers through her hair when she lies.

Preferencesxxxxxxx

Your character's likes & dislikes. Paragraph-style, please.

Historyxxxxxxx

Natalie was an only child for the majority of her life, and she was happy with it that way. When she turned 17 her parents decided to have another child to sooth their empty nest syndrome. Nat was not all that accepting of the idea as a typical teenager would be, until she met her little sister May for the first time. May, or Mayberry as her sister calls her, was the first love of her life. She doted on her more than even their parents did.

For Nat’s 14th birthday she decided where they would take their last family vacation. On the way to Disney land her father fell asleep at the wheel and they drove head first into a lake. Nat could only save her sister who is now in a coma, and she forever takes the blame for her parents death. She was sent to Brink’s directly after that incident.

Other Notesxxxxxxx

Anything else you’d like to mention about your character.

So begins...

Natalie James Bexley's Story

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Natalie James Bexley Character Portrait: Isaac Abramovicz
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The gold sun spilling onto the wall danced across the otherwise plain room, illuminating the figure lying sleeping on the bed. He made a soft noise as he sat up, sleep interrupted by the morning sun. He pulled his covers around him, suspiciously eyeing the room. Isaac still didn't feel... fully comfortable at BRINK, even after 2 years. The blank and cold walls of the establishment never felt as if they were forgiving, leeching warmth from the patients there. It always felt like they were watching, which he supposed they probably were, he hadn't checked for cameras in a long time. There was no chance they'd let them run riot without constant supervision. The bed shifted under his weight as he moved towards the edge, dangling his legs over the side. The room around him was oddly cleanly like no one had lived in it despite Isaac's presence there for 2 years. The only clue as to the type of person that lived there was the mountain of books piled neatly in one corner next to a beanbag.

He pulled himself to his feet, standing in front of his mirror, running a lazy hand through his hair. He examined his reflection, scrutinising himself. Everything seemed more stable today. He finally gave up trying to find an issue with the day and dragged himself for a shower begrudgingly before dressing in a rather plain grey shirt and black jeans. He usually tried not to attract too much attention but it wasn't too obvious, there was no real need to dress outrageously when everyday you saw the same people.

The sun had risen considerably since it woke him, the rays brightening the usually dim room. A quick check of his alarm clock confirmed it was probably a great idea to get breakfast. Isaac dropped to his knees on the floor, hands groping under the bed until... yes... there. He withdrew a well-loved black book, an equally well loved (and well chewed) pencil poking out of the spine. His sketchbook. It was almost done. Isaac didn't really want to think about what would happen when it was finished. He wasn't a fan of endings.

His first stop of the day was the common room, as it always was. Isaac padded down the quiet corridors, eyes tracing the pattern on the floor. He could hear the soft muffled sound of a voice off in a room, however that wasn't unusual for someone to be talking to themselves. It was understandable here, they all understood each other's illnesses.

He lowered his eyes as he entered, his fingers tightening around his sketchbook. The smell of coffee drifting throughout the hallways had alerted him to the fact that someone was there before him. He glanced up quickly to put a face to the smell. Natalie. He lowered his head again as he headed for the fruit bowl, rifling through it. He settled for an apple before grabbing a breakfast bar. It was usually wise to have a lighter breakfast at Brink, especially if you were on new meds and most of the time you were. Isaac tried to be on the safe side.

He curled himself on a seat, chewing on the breakfast bar with his sketchbook balanced on his lap. He carefully folded the wrapper, listening intently to the soft crackle as he flattened it against his sketchbook. Mornings were usually like this, relaxed and quiet. Isaac loved the repetition of everyday. It was one of the more enjoyable aspects about living in the clinic, it let him feel more attached to the world around him. When he was satisfied with his makeshift origami, he began on his apple.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Natalie James Bexley Character Portrait: Zane Yeo Character Portrait: Isaac Abramovicz Character Portrait: Elias Stigsson
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#, as written by Zallen
Elias opened his eyes as the morning sun shone through the curtains, casting a gold ray into the dark room. The young man was, in sharp contrast to what was expected, not lying in bed. Instead, he was seated at the table on the other side of the room, upper body sprawled across the desk on a half played game of solitaire. Unable to sleep for fear of dreaming, Elias had played solitaire into the wee hours of the morning until, brain finally lulled by the repetitive play, he'd fallen into a doze at the table.

It was morning now. Elias blinked blearily at the oddly bare room, slowly registering it through stray locks of blonde hair that had fallen halfway across his eyes. Blowing them out of his face with a half hearted huff, Elias slowly shifted his eyes across the room until it locked onto the clock.

7am. Four hours sleep this time, Elias brain helpfully supplied, and he groaned, deep and heartfelt. With arms that felt like lead, Elias slowly pushed himself up from the table with super Herculean effort. His cheek came unstuck from the table with a small pop that sounded like stretched gum breaking, and a card stuck to his cheek stubbornly kept its hold on Elias's chin before losing grip and fluttering to the floor. With a yawn, Elias left the card on the floor and did a full body stretch like a cat, raising his arms above his head, and made his way to the bathroom.

Toothbrush, face wash, doing business which should thankfully be left vague in text. By the time Elias stepped out of the bathroom he was a lot more cleaner than when he'd stepped in and feeling a lot less like death warmed over, although still tired. With the way Elias bounded cheerfully across the room towards his closet, however, you'd never have guessed that he was running low on sleep - until the dark bags under his eyes were noticed, anyway.

Clothes! And then breakfast - Elias was starving, he hoped that there was toast. Pulling out a baggy maroon hoodie and a pair of black trousers, Elias hummed what sounded suspiciously similar to the bohemian rhapsody as he changed out of his sleepware into something more suitable for the start of the day. Gathering his cards and shuffling them neatly into a pile, Elias slid the blue pack into its plastic casing and slipped it into his pocket, before heading for the door.

Just as he was about to reach for the knob, Elias snapped his fingers. "My lighter!" He exclaimed out loud, doing an abrupt U-turn. He made for the bathroom - and a couple steps paused and patted his pockets.

Yup, it was in his pant pocket. Thank heavens - he'd thought he'd left it with his toothbrush. Chuckling a little to himself, Elias wheeled around and headed straight out of the door, making his way towards the facilities common room for breakfast.

He made it there in record time. Closing his eyes and taking in the scent of coffee, Elias slipped his hand into his pocket around the lighter, tightening his grip on it as he steeled himself. Painting a smile on his face, Elias stepped forwards and pushed opened the door. His eyes met Natalie, and Elias gave a quick wave towards her before breaking contact. Keeping close to the walls, Elias tried to push down the creeping feeling that his back was open and instead walked casually to the cupboards, pulling out a box of cereal.

Best to face the day on a full stomach, right? Within no time, Elias had a small bowl of cheerios and milk and was seated comfortably in the chair that was leaning against the wall, feet drawn up in a cross legged sprawl on the sofa. He gave a small grin and wave to Isaac (successfully ignoring the sketchbook, score 1 for himself!), a silent morning greeting, but other than that he ate his cereal alone, quietly humming a stanza of classical music under his breath.

--------

Early as it was, the streets were bustling with life, ranging from kids walking their way to school to shopkeepers opening their stores for business. Amongst them, blending into the background with a light grey sports jacket and black shorts that reached just above the knee was Zane, carrying a small bag that was slung securely behind his back as he jogged down the street, moving deftly to the side whenever a person was in front of him like a salmon swimming downstream in migrating season.

During his hypomanic periods, jogging to the facility was Zane's way of starting the day, and as this was the third day into this part of the cycle Zane saw no point in breaking it. Jogging was good exercise, and it helped to balance his blood pressure and get rid of the energy that made him itch in place and shortened his temper. It left him exhausted after, sure, but the resulting rush of endorphins and the decrease in irritation after was worth the aching muscles and tiredness.

Seeing a dark alleyway just ahead, Zane readjusted his pace and headed straight for it. A quick glance proved it empty, and Zane made an abrupt turn to the right into it, ignoring the graffitied wall as he ran alongside it. It wasn't much, but it shortened the distance by at least five minutes and shortcuts were completely worth it, even if said shortcuts were occasionally gang territory.

The alley was small, surrounding Zane on both sides with high walls that had diamond grid fences which loomed over the running boy. Heart beating a quick rhythm in his chest, Zane increased his pace as he went under a narrow bridge, path sloping unevenly downwards, and he grinned as he spotted the chain fence up ahead.

It was more than half his height. Over the other side was an abandoned office building, decaying and rusting. A more cautious person would have taken the turn to the right that lead to the bridge, but as Zane was feeling particularly reckless today, he increased his pace into a sprint -

And leapt at the fence.

There was a loud clang as the fence shook from the impact of a seventeen year old boy jumping against it like a bulldozer landing against a wall, but it remained standing. Using the holes in the diamond grid fence as handholds, Zane scaled the fence like a ninja and down to the other side, leaping down the last few inches in a fit of goodwill. Grinning at the feel of a job well done, Zane resumed his jog to the facility, making it there just in time for breakfast.

Or well, just in time to use the showers facility, anyway.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Natalie James Bexley Character Portrait: Zane Yeo Character Portrait: Chevelle Vivian Moore Character Portrait: Isaac Abramovicz Character Portrait: Elias Stigsson
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#, as written by Sambea
Image




Chevelle laid in her bed watching as the clouds grew with color as the sun rose. She had been up for a couple hours waiting till she could be free from her room. The last time Scarlet snuck them out and wandered the halls till Primrose came and started crying. It turned real ugly real fast, but she guessed it was fun while it lasted. They did get to see a part of the place that they hadn't seen before. It never really bothered Chevelle when Scarlet would take the spot, but it did make her cringe from time to time. Like when they would get in trouble or when she would start flirting with Mr. Stalle. It always made her blush and Primrose couldn't stop giggling. In all honesty, Mr. Stalle was cute, it just... he was so out of their league.

She moaned thinking about all the times Scarlet had flirted with him. He just seemed so nice about it. "Someone has a crush." Thought Scarlet. She could hear Primrose giggling in the back. Chevelle's cheeks flushed a soft red. "I do not, it is just embarrassing when you just flirt with him. It is clear he is way too good for us, plus we are in a crazy house. Don't you think he might pity us more than like us? I mean...even I pity myself. I have to live with both of YOU in my head."

"Hey that's not nice, Velle! I am not a bad person." Thought Primrose. Chevelle could see her pouting in the corner.

"Rude much? I am a great person to be around. Hell, I am even the life of the party!" Thought Scarlet, laughing. Chevelle rolled her eyes, tossing and turning in her bed. They had finally gotten a full night's worth of rest. Scarlet finally let her take their medicine. It usually started to take effect once they was finished their bedtime routine. Once their head hit the pillow they were out.

Chevelle stopped moving once she heard the key to their room turn and unlock the door. "Time to get dressed." She said as she got up and stretched.

"Please don't put that sweater today. We always get hot with it on and if we take it off then we have to take care of it. The last time I forgot it you about freaked." Primrose begged.

"Look, once it is your turn you can ask one of the staff to bring you to the room so you can put it up. It is simple. I get cold, what am I suppose to do? Freeze?" Chevelle slide her pale pink sweater on. Primrose and Scarlet sighed together. Chevelle shook her head, checking herself in the mirror and making sure everything looked perfect before heading out the door.

She ran her fingertips along the wall as she walked. The feel of the bumps under her fingers made them go numb and tickle. She smiled at the feeling. The smell of coffee had made its way down the hall, Chevelle would never drink it when it was made, but she did like the smell.

It didn't take her long to get to the common area and there were people already there. She smiled at those who looked up at her and continued her way to the food. She got herself some orange juice and a breakfast bar before going sit by the window. The rays were warm and she took enjoyed every moment of it. A few seconds of sunbathing and Chevelle began to slowly eat. Something was better than nothing. She had a feeling that tests were going to be done and Scarlet would be the one to come out. She always came out when tests were done or when things became a little to difficult for her or Primrose, but she also felt that because Scarlet always came out at these times the test would never stop.

Chevelle shook the thoughts away and watched the world outside live on like she was never there.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Natalie James Bexley Character Portrait: Zane Yeo Character Portrait: Chevelle Vivian Moore Character Portrait: Raven Anderson Character Portrait: Isaac Abramovicz Character Portrait: Elias Stigsson
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#, as written by Zallen
「Zane Yeo」 and 「Elias Stigsson」
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Elias was just finishing his cereal when the door opened. Zane walked in without a thought, footsteps loud in the relative quiet of the room. Fresh from the shower, he was dressed in a black shirt and light blue jeans with a small white towel draped around his shoulders, hair a mess of damp black strands that clumped together and smelled of the clean disinfectant soap that the facilities normally carried.

"Morning," he said to everyone. Reaching out to the fruit bowl, he grabbed an apple, masticating on it with great relish. The run from earlier had left a gaping hole in Zane's stomach that he needed to fill with food, and fruit served as a good way to replenish his energy - simple sugars and filling to boot. He leant against the counter besides Natalie, one elbow resting carelessly against the edge. "Wha'sh sup?" he asked through a mouthful of apple.

Elias smiled from where he sat, lips forming a gentle curve as he held onto the bowl. "What?" He asked teasingly. "Sorry Zane, can't hear what you're saying."

"Mmgh." Zane swallowed the huge lump of masticated apple, shooting a dirty look at Elias. "You know what I mean," he said, scowling, but his tone wasn't heated and there was a thoughtful tilt to his scowl. "And I'm definitely going to win today's round of blackjack - you might have won yesterday's round, but that doesn't mean you'll be winning today."

"Haha, sure!" Elias laughed easily from where he sat, hand slipping into the pocket where his deck of cards were. Yesterday's game had been pretty fun - people had joined in for over an hour, at least before lights out anyways. He grinned at Zane, eyes carefully looking at his shoulder. "I'm ready any day - anyone else want in? It'll have to take place later, though - after the medication."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Zane shrugged and turned away, snagging a banana this time. "So, what's up? And who here thinks they're gonna get us started on new medications again this time?"

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Natalie James Bexley Character Portrait: Zane Yeo Character Portrait: Chevelle Vivian Moore Character Portrait: Isaac Abramovicz Character Portrait: Elias Stigsson
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The appearance of Elias wasn't much of an intrusion on Isaac's little bubble. He was one of the people who accepted that Isaac probably didn't want to be involved in much of the socialising. Isaac raised his head enough to catch sight of the wave sent his way. He begrudgingly waved back, managing to force a small smile. He wasn't trying to seem impolite, especially when he liked the company of Elias if he was in the mood to talk or interested in a game of cards.

Isaac didn't dislike anyone who turned up at Brink particularly. He had a mild dislike for some staff members, but the resentment he had buried for them hadn't really surfaced in many months. He liked Natalie as well, he decided as he crunched on his apple. She was logical and didn't let much get in the way of that and if he needed to borrow a book, she probably had it.

He finally gave up on his apple, standing up to toss the core in the bin. He tucked his sketchbook under his arm. He threw the core away before heading towards the counter. He opened his sketchbook to the next empty page, printing the date neatly at the top.

'Breakfast: Breakfast Bar and Apple. Nat already present. Made coffee. Chevelle came in shortly after me, had a breakfast bar and OJ. Elias prompt, got cereal.'

His running commentary was interrupted by the opening of the door. Zane strode in, his footsteps echoing around Isaac's head. He groaned and looked up, his peace shattered. He was still manic judging by the slight reddening of his cheeks, he had been for the past couple of days. Isaac had gathered that he had been running to and from the facility. He had noted the fact in his sketchbook a few times in the past days.

Grabbing an apple he gave them all a customary welcome before biting into it with relish. Isaac noted the observation down before starting to doodle. He liked to balance out the writing with drawings, usually quick sketches of the other patients but sometimes his family and more often his snake. He swirled his pencil around the breakfast data creating a familiar eyebrow he labelled deftly as "NATALIE". He knew everyone around's facial features better than he new his own reflection most days. It was grounding knowing that there were other people just meters away from him that were actually real and there.

He was drawn out of his little world by an offer from Elias. "I'm ready any day - anyone else want in? It'll have to take place later, though - after the medication."

He frowned, trying to link it to a sentence before hand he'd only half caught. Zane had suggested Blackjack, that'll be it. "I'm in for blackjack" he muttered, breaking his silence "I could do with a good game" he finished. He shut his sketchbook with a snap, lodging his pencil back in the spine. He was going to push himself to actually talk to people today.

"So, what's up? And who here thinks they're gonna get us started on new medications again this time?"

"Knowing how everyone seems settled this morning, i reckon we'll all be on new ones... everything is too quiet" Isaac shrugged, tucking the sketchbook back under his arm "well either that or Stalle has abandoned all efforts to fix us up" He added with a slight apprehensive look towards to door as if even the name of the director would summon him.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Natalie James Bexley Character Portrait: Zane Yeo Character Portrait: Chevelle Vivian Moore Character Portrait: Isaac Abramovicz Character Portrait: Elias Stigsson
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Natalie laughed. The sound was out of place in the usually quiet surroundings. It was a welcome laugh though, it didn't get on his nerves really. “One can only hope.” Natalie joked. God if only. He did like Stalle as a person, he just didn't like the often accompanying meds and therapy sessions or staff members who treated them like guinea pigs. Sure, they were taking possibly unsafe medication, but they were still mostly human.

Isaac returned to his spot on the chair, opening his book to start another pair of eyes. Elias's this time, his eyes were slightly scrunched in the way that they did when he smiled. He didn't have a photographic memory but eyes always stood out to him. "The windows to the soul" His dad always said when he had found another date online. They all had such honest eyes to his father. Isaac winced. Looks were deceiving, he above all knew that, and eyes can be easily tricked. The thought made his stomach churn. He stilled his pencil for a moment, shaking off the sick feeling creeping up his throat.

He scolded himself internally. He was drawing eyes, like always, not creating a running commentary on his life. He returned to his drawing. Maybe it was just a little brain hiccup, that happened some times, he had hoped that it would be a steady day today.

"In the mean time, how is everyone?" Natalie was trying to make conversation he noted internally, trying to word out and appropriate response. He needed to learn to talk to people properly, none of this hiding himself away and only letting one of the doctors talk to him.

"Could be better, but then again couldn't we all?" He muttered softly to himself. He almost made himself laugh. He decided he should probably note his attempts at interacting with the people around him. It was probably a bit too obsessive to note though, he'd mention it at his next evaluation though if they asked about his interaction. It probably wouldn't help his case to become an outpatient if he gave an exact time and date. Maybe if Stalle or someone just saw him trying to talk.

He placed his pencil down gently and closed his eyes. As soon as the medication was handed out maybe he would avoid blackjack and retreat to his room like an injured animal. Socialising took it out of him. He'd be better reading or... no, he had to do it. He'd been told quite explicitly to talk to the others.