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Jamie Chapman

"And all of the mothers raise their babies to stay away from me."

0 · 2,268 views · located in Booth Lane College

a character in “Skins: Secrets Out”, originally authored by partially-stars, as played by RolePlayGateway

Description

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introverted || passionate || reserved || caring || protective

[ the storm || of mice and men ]

was i your knight in shining armour?
the apple of your eye?
or just a step, a fucking step, for you to climb?

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Full Name:
James Daniel Chapman
Nicknames:
Jamie
Age:
18
Sexual Orientation:
Bisexual
Occupation:
Works at the local animal shelter
Religion:
Agnostic
Heritage:
3/4 English, 1/4 French (his mother was half French.)
Ethnicity:
Caucasian
Birth Day:
11th November
Birth Sign:
Scorpio
Home Town:
Manchester
Languages:
English, somewhat fluent in French
School Year:
12
Character Role:
FC: Oliver Sykes







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determined || secretive || musical || hates confrontation || nostalgic

[ emergency || paramore ]

sometimes quiet is violent.

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Family Members:
Father: Thomas Chapman
Mother: Marie Kendall
Academic Career:
Jamie was a great student for his GCSEs, back when his home life was still somewhat studying. He received mostly B's, earning a C in math and an A in both music and French. However, shortly after his GCSE's is when his life went to hell, and his grades quickly dropped. He's averaging an A in music, but his grades swing wildly from B's to scraping a D in both French and psychology.
Future Plans:
Finally achieve happiness and stability.
Personality:
If you were to ask anyone about Jamie Chapman, the first word that they'd say would be quiet. He's not exactly one to go around talking to strangers or babbling for ages about whatever he did at the weekend- he much prefers to sit and listen. Many assume that, because of this, he has nothing to say- but he's rather the opposite. Jamie is a very passionate person. When you get him talking about something he really cares about, you can see exactly how intense he can be. While he's not the type of activist to go break animals out of labs or do anything destructive, he will be found at rallies, chanting with everyone else and ensuring that his voice is heard. When people say that all vegans are obsessive and try to force their beliefs onto others, they will be pointed to the quiet, reserved Jamie as a reminder that, no, that's not how they work. The majority of the time, he's quite chilled. He's the one laughing at the jokes as opposed to telling them, but that's something he's never minded. He's incredibly loyal and protective- almost overly so. He stays sober on nights out just so he knows that everybody can get home safely and that there's somebody to look after his drunken friends. On the nights that he's not there to do so, his mind will be occupied by them, wondering if they're safe.

However, perhaps wondering is the wrong word. In fact, if he's not there, it's only because something of huge importance came up that he couldn't avoid. And as soon as his mind is free, he'll be panicking, convinced that something is bad is going to happen to them. He'll be constantly texting them and will more than likely call them at least once. If he doesn't get a response, he'll panic, often leading to a full on panic attack. Panic attacks are only the tip of the iceberg of his problems. He's got major depressive disorder and panic disorder, both of which are undiagnosed. Because they are undiagnosed, the only medication he has is the alcohol stash under his bed. He swings from not touching alcohol for days to getting blackout drunk three nights a week. When he's sober, he occasionally suffers from suicidal thoughts, depending on how his mood is. His inability and unwillingness to talk about his problems doesn't help either. His relationship with his parents worsens it. His father was the only one to take Jamie's problems even somewhat seriously, and now he's out of the question. His mother refuses to acknowledge that he has a problem. Jamie learned years ago that talking to her won't get him anywhere. That only leaves his friends, and even just thinking about talking to them causes him to panic. The only time he really appears to be truly alive is on stage or playing music, and even his friends have remarked that he's a different person. He's not anxious. He doesn't hate himself. For however long that is, he can just be himself, minus the mental disorders.

Fears:
Due to his panic disorder, jumpscares have quite a strong effect on him. He's terrified of being alone and of forever being unhappy and depressed. He has an extreme hatred for heights as well.
Quirks:
Jamie usually has his sleeves pulled over his hands, and is constantly adjusting them. He stammers when anxious, which often only just worsens the problem. Whenever he's thinking about playing the piano, he does the action without thinking about it.
Hobbies:
He plays the piano and the guitar, although he's far better at the piano. Whenever he's not drunk or doing schoolwork, he's playing music, channelling his soul into them to distract himself. They're the only hobbies he's managed to keep up through his depression, although he used to play basketball.
Passions:
Jamie's quite passionate about animal rights and is a vegan for that reason. Music, however, has to be his biggest passion. It's the one thing that he's never lost passion for, even through his depression.
Bad Habits:
Drinking to deal with his problems, not talking about his problems and nail biting.
Guilty Pleasures:
Romcoms- on his sober evenings when he's alone in the house, he's been known to put one on and watch it in an attempt to feel better.
Likes:
Romcoms, metal music, rock music, his band, playing music, his friends, concerts, driving fast, feeling in control of himself, good days
Dislikes:
Heights, animal cruelty, cruelty in general, bad days, losing control, his mental health, his mother, panic attacks





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dependent || addictive personality || anxious || chilled || stubborn

[ far too young to die || panic! at the disco ]

and all of their mothers raise their babies
to stay away from me

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Face Claim :
Oliver Sykes
Height:
6'0"
Weight / Build :
Jamie is quite slim- not to the point of his health being at risk, but he is underweight. His frame was on the narrow side to begin with, so he's now quite slim.
Hair Colour:
Dark brown
Eye Colour:
Dark, warm brown
Other:
He has a number of tattoos already, despite the fact that he's only just old enough to have them. He has a semi colon on the small of his back- he knows this isn't exactly original, but he loves the idea. He also has "not the absence of fear, but the strength to face it" above his heart, and two stars and a flying silhouette on his right bicep as a subtle Peter Pan reference.







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loving || loyal || cautious || lonely || depressed

[ golden || fall out boy ]

to die, i think, would be an awfully big adventure

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History:
Jamie's childhood was perfectly normal, even though he was living with a recovering addict. His depression and anxiety weren't exactly evident as a child and so he was happy. His mother and his father loved each other very much and they loved him just as much. He got everything he needed and was never spoiled- but was never left wanting of anything. However, that changed as he hit his teens.

His depression started with self-image issues. His self-image swung from thinking he was too fat and needed to lose weight to not being strong or big enough. As time went on, it worsened into major depressive disorder. He started self-harming at fourteen, unable to find another way to handle it. His mother found out after almost two years, when he accidentally went too deep and ended up having to be brought to the emergency room. She freaked out, searching for any other explanation other than her son having a mental disorder. Even when his father said that he thought that Jamie should go to even just one psychiatrist appointment, she refused to listen to him. She proceeded to bring it up to manipulate Jamie and generally make him feel bad. That only worsened his panic disorder. His friends and music were his only salvation, keeping him somewhat sane. However, his crush on Bella didn't help, just confusing him and often making him more distressed.

His parents had been fighting a lot before his father relapsed, but that seemed to be the last straw. The only reason they didn't straight out divorce was because Marie was worried that doing so would lead to the worsening of both Jamie and her husband, finally starting to consider that her son wasn't just a moody teenager. It was hard to tell, however, as he was either asleep or at school during that particular time. She instead started to work longer hours at work and spending as little time in the house as possible, leaving Jamie to look after his relapsed father. The relapse was quite a major one, and he refused to go back to counselling.

It was around this time that Bella's boyfriend started becoming suspicious of Jamie. He manipulated Jamie into staying away, leaving Jamie with only one close friend. This, combined with his mother's behaviour and his father's relapse and refusal to recover, meant that Jamie's mental disorders continued to deteriorate. He discovered the appeal of alcohol but then discovered it's after effects, leading to his fluctuating relationship with alcohol. His unmedicated depression continued to deteriorate, his urges to relapse into self harm developing into suicidal thoughts and his sleep pattern starting to vary widely. His panic disorder deteriorated as well, leading to Jamie having panic attacks over what he considered to be small things.

Over the summer, he had to look after his father all day, everyday. A chest infection followed by a severe throat infection meant he had to go on vocal rest for fear of damaging his voice. Being unable to speak made things a lot harder and didn't help his depression. He reached one of his lowest points over the summer, where he was actually on the bridge, ready to climb over. He didn't want to do it at home, where his father could find him. But he made himself walk away and go home and get pissed and forget what he'd been considering. He just wants to get out of the house and go somewhere where he can recover in peace or even just get help without his mother interfering.

So begins...

Jamie Chapman's Story

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Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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wednesday 2nd september
at college





"Jesus Christ, Bella, I was just wondering where you were. I meant you disappeared altogether. You weren't in class either, and I was a little worried. That's all," Jace snapped. Jamie rubbed his hands on his jeans nervously, waiting for Jace to take into him. Part of him doubted that he'd do it in front of Bella, but the fear didn't go away.

"I better go," he said, clearing his throat a little. He picked up his bag from where he'd put it down beside the piano, brushing past Jace on his way out. Even the brief contact made him want to flinch- but he held it back, just in case Bella was watching. He allowed the door to close behind him, before taking out his phone and sending a text to Bella.

"Come over after school? Didn't want to say it in front of jace, know what he's like. just in case i don't see you between now and then."

That was assuming that Jace didn't kill him between now and then, obviously. But there would come a point when she could never look at him in the same way, and he wanted to spend as much time as possible with her before that. His future seemed shorter than ever, right now. Even as he walked back towards the main building, everything had stopped feeling real. Like all reality and all feeling had been left in the room with Bella. Everything except fear and anxiety.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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Wednesday 2nd September - 7:33 AM – Booth Lane – Outfit

※ Mood: Bitter - Relieved - Angry
※ Listening To: Addict with a Pen - Twenty One Pilots
※ With: Jamie and Jace (Her Boyfriend)
"Jace- look at me. I'm Arabella remember? God, me attending class would be something to worry about more than me skiving. Why are you so surprised?" She asked sourly, she looked at Jamie slightly gutted when he left but she nodded softly and smiled at him.

"See you later," She replied casually as he left before turning her gaze back over to Jace with a wicked arched brow, she was almost daring him to question her again because even if Jace had a way of ruling school, it was Bella who ruled everything behind the scenes- she just let Jace wear the mask but she knew how to get to him and how to sort him out but she wanted to. She wanted to either be with Jamie or be left alone entirely and she knew neither were likely to happen now.

She looked at Jace, for a long cold moment before sighing and adjusting her head, looking up at him and biting her lip a little nervously. "Why are you being weird?" She asked him eventually, after a long while of hesitation and she just stared back at him, her gaze level. She heard her phone go off but she didn't check it straight away, she wanted an answer before anything else.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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wednesday 2nd september
at college





"What the fuck are you talking about, Bella? You're the one who's been moping around all summer, not talking to anyone," Jace replied. He shook his head, leaning on the piano. "Those drugs are making you paranoid, Bells." He remarked.

Jamie settled down in the library, his psychology book open in front of him. He wasn't reading it, though- his phone was sitting on the book, and he was staring at it. Waiting from a text from either Bella, Jace or one of his cronies. He couldn't focus on anything except the phone. The thought of actually having to go to class made him feel sick- having to face other people, having to deal with noise, having to possibly face Jace again.

This felt like some kind of bad dream- he was constantly waiting for the monster to jump out at him, to jump out and attack him and keep hurting him and for it to never end. If his anxiety was a shadow lurking in his peripheral vision, stopping him from relaxing, then this was a monster that was in front of him everywhere he turned. He didn't know when it was going to end or how.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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Wednesday 2nd September - 7:33 AM – Booth Lane – Outfit

※ Mood: Bitter - Relieved - Angry
※ Listening To: Addict with a Pen - Twenty One Pilots
※ With: Jamie and Jace (Her Boyfriend)
Bella just looked at him in shock, how could he accuse her of being paranoid? Offense was scrawled across her expression as she stared back at him, she couldn't quite believe what he'd just said. The words echoed in her head for a long moment and her lip trembled in anger whilst she was trying to coordinate her words. "I am more than a junkie Jace. I don't even smoke dope much anymore- so don't you dare, accuse me of being paranoid when you are the one sneaking around checking up on me because you walked away from me and I skipped class. Don't you fucking dare,"

She finally checked her phone because she realised it could be Jamie or her step-brother and it might be important and when she read Jamie's text even in her current fiasco she had to resist the urge to smile. She replied saying;

Yeah of course, I'll get changed at home and come straight over

Then she looked levelly at Jace frowning vividly, a glaring expression lingering on her petit face. She was supposed to love the boy standing in front of her, boyfriend of a year and half, attractive, intelligent, funny, popular- he had many great qualities but she struggled to see those anymore, she struggled to see them about him at all.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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wednesday 2nd september
at college





"For fuck's sake, Bella, I'm not sneaking around, I was just wondering where you were!" Jace snapped, folding his arms. He raised an eyebrow as she checked her phone. "Let me guess, that's from him?" He said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder as if Jamie was still standing behind him. "His father was a bloody drug addict, Bella. He's probably fucked up in the head as well. I don't like you being around him, Bells."

Jamie jumped as his phone buzzed. He stared at the screen, his heart pounding, before typing in his password and opening the text. It was like the weight on his chest finally moved as he noticed that the text was from Bella. He grinned, typing out a quick reply.

awesome. we can have a proper jam session then :)

If Jace was going to beat the shit out of him for this, then Jamie was determined to get the most out of whatever time he had left. If he had Bella back on side, then maybe he'd be okay. Maybe they'd get through it and come out the other side. It was then he remembered that, if he had Bella back on side, it would only be until she found out. So, for the next twenty four hours, then. It was better than nothing, perhaps, but it would be twenty four hours of fearing how she'd react, of what she'd say. Maybe Jace would knock him out for the next thirty six hours or whatever, just get it out of the way.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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Wednesday 2nd September - 7:33 AM – Booth Lane – Outfit

※ Mood: Bitter - Relieved - Angry
※ Listening To: Addict with a Pen - Twenty One Pilots
※ With: Jamie and Jace (Her Boyfriend)
Bella looked at him with horror and offence clearly written across her petite pale face. "So what if it was? He's my best friend. I'm allowed to talk to him Jace and I don't care who his dad is, what he does or how he lives- unless those things effect Jamie in anyway, I don't care about that. It doesn't change who he is and I like who he is- he's a good friend. So leave it, he's been there for me more years than inches your dick is long, so don't you dare try and talk about him that way," She snapped, her short temper shining through but also her delicacy and fragile state of mind because tears stung in the corner of her eyes and her body half trembled for a second as she turned her head down to her phone which she intelligent hid behind the piano and she touch typed, so Jace wouldn't catch on.

of course, just don't show me up. i'm only back up :'D

She shoved her phone in her pocket and buried her hands with it, staring at Jace to see what he'd said She was waiting, she wanted him to apologise- admit he'd abandoned her this morning, tell her why he had such a problem with Jamie- she just wanted him to be honest, be the guy she'd grown to really like over the year but he wouldn't- he knew that. He was a dick ultimately, she just didn't like admitting it.

"What's your point Jace? Why are we having this conversation?" She asked eventually, still fighting back the salty tears in her eyes. She wasn't sure why she was quite upset but she had different emotions attacking from every angle she knew and the whole fiasco with Jamie and Jace was emotionally stressful enough without these kinds of arguments occurring.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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wednesday 2nd september
at college





Jace rolled his eyes. "Did you even hear from him at any point this summer? No? He probably had a fucking girlfriend and didn't think once about you. Then, as soon as that ended, he came running back, desperate for the attention. He's an attention whore, Bella, and he just acts like he's not. Half of the stories he tells are probably made up so people will feel sorry for him." As he finished speaking, the bell rang. "I'm going to class, Bella. If you're not there, I'll know not to come looking for you," he snapped, turning around and walking out. As he walked away, he pulled out his phone and sent a text.

As the bell rang, Jamie stood up, running his hands through his hair. As he headed for his psychology class, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He fished it out, expecting another text from Bella. He actually had two- one from Bella. And one from Jace. His heart started pounding, and he opened the text.

you broke your promise, jamie. everyone's going to know. including bella. i warned you.

His hands were shaking so much that he dropped his phone. As he bent down to pick it up, he felt sure that everyone was staring at him, that everyone was laughing at him. If it was like this now, what would it be like when everyone knew? The stares would only increase, the muttering would only get louder. He'd fucked up. He'd fucked up too many times by now.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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Wednesday 2nd September - 7:33 AM – Booth Lane – Outfit

※ Mood: Bitter - Agitated - Skittish
※ Listening To: Alive - Pearl Jam
※ With: No one
"You fucking bastard," She screamed after him, crumbling against the door in tears after he left, holding her knees up under her chin as she tried to hold back the sobs forcing her body into trembles and quivers. She held her own elbows with her hands and buried her face in her legs, squeezing her eyes shut like it'd send the situation to hell where it could never come back from.

But it wouldn't go.

This was real.

She dropped her phone next to her, not caring to text anyone or call. Who would she call? Jamie had gone and he'd only panic if she told him what had happened with Jace and Celine and Fee were completely missing in action or so it would appear since this morning.

It took her a while to gather herself again, ten minutes passed like hours but after a while she startled walking to psychology and too late to choose her own seat for the year- she slumped into the corner desk at the back, sitting alone as she tried to block everyone out. She knew Jamie was in this class but she didn't want him to notice her when she was obviously upset about something, so she ignored everyone in the room and simply drew in the back of her exercise book- not listening to a word of the lesson or even anything around her. She knew her and Jace was basically over and she didn't even know if she was sad about that, which only made everything feel so much worse.

In a purple pen she drew all over her classbook without a care for what trouble it might get here in later. It brought some relief to have some kind of outlet of expression and emotion. The sketches were detailed and only done in pen, so the lines had gone over so may times the paper started to become thin and weak. She looked up at one point, subconsciously looking for Jamie, to see if he was around but she didn't spot him and looked back down, in case he was there and he noticed her negative mood.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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wednesday 2nd september
at college





Jamie had noticed the absence of Bella almost as soon as he got to class. He slid into his usual window seat and retrieved his book from his bag, waiting for her to come in. But as class began, there was still no sign of her. He could feel the anxiety creeping in, so he turned his attention to the class, forcing himself to focus on the teacher. He didn't realise he was biting his nails until he was asked a question, and he had to move his hands away from his mouth to answer. There wasn't even much nail left to bite- the anxiety over coming back to school and dealing with the Bella and Jace situation had meant that the habit was worse than ever. But that never stopped him from trying.

About ten minutes into class, Bella appeared. Even from across the room, he could tell that all wasn't well. Never taking his eyes away from the teacher, he retrieved his phone from his pocket and texted her. They'd perfected this method of communication years ago, and in the few classes they didn't sit together in, it was a common occurrence. He typed out a quick text, only glancing down at his phone once or twice before sending it.

"Where were you? Mind you, you didn't miss much. Talk about how this is our exam year and we can't be screwing around any more, etc., etc."

Even after he sent the text, he was back to biting his nails. He was terrified of what was going to happen after school and how Bella would react when she found out about his feelings for her. He couldn't handle being alone again.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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Wednesday 2nd September - 7:33 AM – Booth Lane – Outfit

※ Mood: Bitter - Agitated - Skittish
※ Listening To: Alive - Pearl Jam
※ With: No one
Bella looked up properly for the first time since she arrived when she felt her phone vibrate in her bag and she went through her black bag to find the mobile before reading the text and smiling softly, there was genuinely so much relief and comfort in just seeing his Caller ID and when she looked up across the room to see him. He wasn't even doing anything spectacular it's just the fact he was there and he was him- sometimes, that familiarity of having a friend like Jamie around was all she needed to bring herself back together again. She noted however, his nervous habit of nail biting and frowned a little in worry but she looked down at her phone and text him back;

To: Jamie
i'll fill you in later if it is still ok for me to come over. ah exam year? that's cute- so gutted I missed that preach ;) you okay? and stop biting your nails, it's basically cannibalism


She tried to keep her tone light hearted, she always did she was that friend you went to get calm advice, a hug and cheering up from. She'd always hear you out and she'd give you some beautiful philosophical speech about how numbers don't exist, so grades don't matter and how that guy bullying you will never matter in the 'grand scheme of things' and how parent are nothing more than gamete production vessels- she'd do that and then she'd remind you of something truly amazing and bring everything back into prospective. She was good at that- she was good at doing that for other people at least, not so much herself but anyone else she could bring around but she'd always been her own harshest critic. But that's what Bella did- she brought everyone a bit of comic relief to a situation when she could, not out of insensitivity but actually pure empathy. She's empathetic.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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wednesday 2nd september
at college





He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and briefly glanced down as he typed in his password. He grinned as he read Bella's text, before glancing back up at the teacher to make it look like he was actually paying attention. He jotted down the notes the teacher had just written up, before texting Bella back.

of course it's still fine for you to come over. :) you can lecture me about biting my nails then.

Fuck, he'd missed her. Maybe if he hadn't pushed her away, he wouldn't have ended up on that bridge as much. Still, he hadn't jumped yet, so that was something. Then again, if things went as badly as he feared, then he could end up actually throwing himself off of it. Not that anyone would miss him- by that point, Bella would probably totally hate him. So it wasn't like he'd be hurting her or anything. Everyone would just be glad to have him gone.

At least he'd stopped feeling like she hated him right now. It was clear that she didn't, so that was something. But, within 48 hours, that could be a totally different story. He'd be back to being alone. And it wasn't like he could talk to anyone about it. His mom was never home, his dad was constantly off his head on drugs and it wasn't like either of them cared anyway. This whole thing meant he was losing the only person who actually cared.

He pulled his sleeves back over his hands in an attempt to stop biting his nails. It had started as a way to ensure that his sleeves didn't slide up and reveal his cuts, and had then become a habit in itself. It still made sure that nobody saw the scars, and people just thought he was constantly cold.

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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Wednesday 2nd September - 7:33 AM – Booth Lane – Outfit

※ Mood: Bitter - Agitated - Skittish
※ Listening To: Alive - Pearl Jam
※ With: No one
Bella had gone back to running her pen over old lines on the paper, creating inky thick lines on the sheet- she'd drawn many small doodles but they were all equally quirky and skilful. She seemed very relaxed and concentrated- a focus that could only be broken by the vibration of her phone when she felt it go off again in her hand. She smiled as she read the message and resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him a little.

To: Jamie
ok, I will :)


She text that back quickly, catching a suspicious teacher's eye who started to question her and Bella just smiled sweetly, trying desperately not to laugh at the intense awkwardness of the atmosphere.

"Arabella," Her teacher started in a short, sharp tone.

"Miss Stone," Bella replied with a quirked brow.

"Arabella, could you please outline the main functions of phonological loop and the visuo-spatial sketchpad?" The question was supposed to be one Bella couldn't answer, it was tactful of the teacher to try and show her up and make point but she hadn't counted on Arabella's natural ability to a) always have an answer and b) manipulate everything with sarcasm or general rudeness.

"I could. The visuo-spatial sketchpad stores and processes information in a visual or spatial form- and well it's the VSS so it's obviously used for navigation and the phonological loop? Humour me Miss Stone darling that's easy- it is the part of working memory that deals with spoken and written material. It can be used to remember a phone number. It consists of two parts; Phonological Store that's all tied to speech perception it holds information in speech-based form y'know- spoken words for 1-2 seconds and then of course the articulatory control process which is the inner voice – linked to speech production. Used to rehearse and store verbal information from the phonological store. May I continue drawing this kitten now? The eyes are pretty cute," And like that Bella's mild interrogation was over and she dismissed the topic herself to continue with the art in her exercise book, looking over at Jamie with a victorious smirk on her expression- wandering if he'd look back.

teachers really do underestimate teenagers just because smoke of us smoke jeeeez and ok- i'll come over and lecture you about your nails, explain where I was and then we can jam obvs :D

She text back quickly and then set her phone down in her lap so it couldn't be seen and decided to catch up on some of her notes for a few minutes.

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Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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wednesday 2nd september
at college
4:30





With a final kick to Jamie's stomach, Jace and his friends walked away. Even over his ragged breathing, Jamie could hear them laughing as they walked away. It had been as bad as he'd feared. Only minutes after he'd said goodbye to Bella, they'd jumped him. He'd fought back- surprisingly well. He'd actually gotten in a few decent punches, and had he just been fighting one of them, he might have fared much better. But he was too outnumbered for that, and there had come a point where he'd just had to cover his head and hope for the best.

All things considered, he'd gotten away pretty lightly. He was still conscious, which was more than he had expected. And he could also see out of one eye, and didn't appear to be bleeding out. Oh, sure, he was bleeding, but he'd half been expecting far worse wounds.

He needed to get up, or Bella would be waiting for him. Sitting up made his head spin precariously and his stomach lurch. What was Bella going to think when she saw him? Would she get mad? How many questions was she going to ask? Would she make him tell her? If she did, how would she react when she told him? The anxiety wasn't helping the spinning in his head or the vague nausea. He forced himself to stand up, but had to lean against the wall after he did. First things first, though, he had to focus on getting home.

The pain of walking didn't ease, even as he got back to the house. Luckily Bella wasn't waiting for him, and his mother's car wasn't in the drive. He let himself into the house and went straight to the kitchen. He didn't like taking painkillers, constantly fearing addiction, but he felt like this was one circumstance in which he really, really needed to. But even then, he took plain ibuprofen- probably not strong enough for the amount of pain he was in, but they didn't keep anything stronger in the house.

He retrieved an ancient bag of peas from the back of the freezer and pressed it to his injured eye as he made his way to the bathroom so he could inspect the damage. His eye was swollen practically shut, and that whole side of his face was red, with bruising starting to break out in various places. Lifting up his shirt, it was similar on his chest. He didn't think anything was broken, which was good. Bruising could be dealt with without having to go to a hospital.

He headed upstairs to his bedroom and turned on his stereo, turning it up. Bella would know for sure that he was in then- it was unlikely that either of his parents would be listening to Of Mice and Men at this volume. Keeping the peas on the injured side of his face, he closed his eyes and just paid attention to the music, his phone balanced on his chest. That way, he wouldn't have to think about what was about to happen.

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Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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bella. Image
Wednesday 2nd September - 4:55 PM – Jamie's House – Outfit

※ Mood: Chilled - Lively - Mildly Agitated - Bothered
※ Listening To: Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
※ With: Jamie
Her walk home was uneventful and miserable, she tried to ignore the lingering skin heads beckoning and calling at her as she walked down the rougher street outside the front of school in effort to get past to the main new estate where Bella's mother rented. It was a nice house, spacious, modern and still quite new but Bella struggled to appreciate that anymore when coming home to this lovely house meant coming home to her less lovely mother.

Bella had only home first (before she went to see Jamie) after school because the last thing she wanted to do in her slightly not so modest length dress was lounge around at Jamie's and jam, the whole concept of it screamed wardrobe malfunction so she went home and changed into dark jeans and an overly over sized sweater and boots with a weather appropriate beanie before she headed down to Jamie's- she knew she was running later than promised but they'd been an argument when she came in from home. Her mother was accusing her of being unsociable and unaffectionate and that had held her back by a good forty odd minutes but she made her way down the street in the slight rain but it was relenting enough so that Bella didn't find herself feeling particularly bothered by it at all.

As she walked she found herself reflecting on the argument with her mother with a sour expression, it was so pathetic. There was no way Bella could ever come out on top with her Mother, if she didn't speak she was miserable and quiet- if she spoke at all she was answering back and there was never an acceptable in between. She'd slapped her and the cold bristling air made Bella's cheek feel slightly stung for longer than it should have afterwards but the pain kept her conscious and aware of the reality of things. It didn't matter if she had an amazing friend like Jamie and a cool band and some things that kept her happy- she never could be, it was like a law she had to be lonely, unhappy and blue.

When she reached Jamie's house, she smiled at the sound of music- good music as well, she'd always been a bit of an 'Of Mice and Men' fan too, they were on her list of must see gigs but that hadn't happened yet to her own dismay.

She knocked once but loudly on the door so Jamie would know it was her and not anyone else, she also texted his phone just in case he couldn't hear her over his music.

To: Jamie

Oi oi- let me in it's raaaaaiiinnnnninnnnngggg


You could almost imagine Bella's cutting sarcasm and melodramatics just by looking at the text but she waited patiently by the door, smiling softly and calmly all the while.

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Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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wednesday 2nd september
at home





To nobody's surprise, Jamie started falling asleep as he waited for Bella. Really, all he wanted to do was sleep, but if he bailed at this point, she'd know something was up and would probably just come over anyway. And besides, all he ever wanted to was sleep, and after today, he probably wouldn't be able to hang out with Bella anymore. So he'd stay awake for a few more hours.

Had Bella been any later, Jamie probably would have been asleep. But the loud knock on the door, followed by his phone vibrating on his chest was enough to wake him. For a moment, he was calm- then the bag of peas fell off his face as he sat up, and he was reminded of the state he was in. Bella was probably going to freak out. He was going to have to tell her.

He left the peas on his bedside locker as he went downstairs, starting to bite his nails again. His free arm was wrapped so tightly around his chest, it was painful, but he didn't want to move it. He glanced in the hall mirror as he reached it. The swelling hadn't gone down much, and more bruising was starting to come out. At least his nose had stopped bleeding- he didn't need blood as well as everything else. His heart pounding in his throat, he opened the door and stood back to let her in.

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Character Portrait: [NPC] Bartender Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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bella. Image
Wednesday 2nd September - 4:58 PM – Jamie's House – Outfit

※ Mood: Concerned - Lively - Angry - Protective
※ Listening To: Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
※ With: Jamie
She looked up beaming as he opened the door and was in mid-sentence of light heartedly saying; "Hey!" when she noticed the bruising on his face and she gasped gently in surprise, her hand rising to her own face to cover her mouth. "Oh my god Jamie, what happened? Did you get jumped by John Cena or something, you okay?" She instantly burst into worry and as he let her in, she shut the door behind her and looked at Jamie's face with an expression of pure concern but there was also a hidden anger directed at whoever had mustered the nerve to pick a fight with him. "Who was it?" She asked sadly looking up at him through her dark eyes. It actually broke her heart to see him hurt, she hadn't realised it ever would but it did, it really hit her and filled with two urges, the first being to help him, find him some pain killers and help him physically heal from what had happened and the second was to smash the face in of whoever had done it.

She looked at him, quite obviously trying to figure it out. Her eyes sharply narrowed on his but not in a cold way in a calculating way that was filled with anxiety and fret.

Then it hit her, literally like a tonne of bricks it hit her.

Jace

He'd been disgusted to see Arabella in his company, he'd been acting weird and jealous, he'd bad mouthed him when Bella tried to defend him. Jace hated Jamie, that much was clear and it stung Bella to think she'd brought this on to Jamie- if she had. Part of her was truly praying it wasn't Jace because she'd never forgive him if he had but she knew, deep down she knew this wasn't something you could put past Jace.

"Was it...was it Jace?" She asked weakly. It'd make sense if it was but she really didn't want to think it could have been. She wouldn't quite be able to cope with that, knowing she'd dated and once admittedly loved someone capable of hurting someone like this- physically beating them over something as petty as dislike.

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Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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wednesday 2nd september
at home





Jamie wasn't used to being under Bella's stare. Before, they'd known each other inside and out, and she'd never needed to analyse him. As she asked him who did it, he just stayed silent. He couldn't tell her. It would break her heart. But he didn't have to. He could almost see Bella working it out in her head. As she asked him, he hesitated. He knew that telling her was the right thing to do, but it wasn't that simple. If Jace found out that he'd told her, he'd be dead. Jace would find out all of his secrets and plaster them over the school for everyone to see, and then probably actually kill Jamie. And he had to factor Bella's feelings into it too- if she found out that her boyfriend had beaten up her best friend, she'd be heartbroken.

But at the same time, he was terrified that one day, Jace would hurt her. If he was willing to blackmail Jamie and beat the shit out of him, then Jamie was guessing that actually hurting her wouldn't be against his morals. It wouldn't be fair to lie to her.

He nodded, pulling his sleeves over his hands as he did so. He couldn't meet her gaze- not only because his eye was still more or less swollen shut, but because he didn't want to see her expression.

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Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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Wednesday 2nd September - 4:58 PM – Jamie's House – Outfit

※ Mood: Concerned - Lively - Angry - Protective
※ Listening To: Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
※ With: Jamie
Bella was instantaneously filled with the guilt. Jamie and Jace wouldn't have ever even known each other if it weren't for her, forget hate each other and fight. She felt terrible and sorrow drowned her to think she'd been responsible for him being hurt like this and she looked like she might cry. She had her head in her hands because she couldn't bare the thought of being to blame for this. She couldn't quite believe it and self-loathing sank in quickly.

"I'm so sorry Jamie. I, I never thought he'd- I- I'm sorry, sorry so sorry Jamie. You don't deserve this, this is my fault isn't it? I knew he didn't like me having friends that were guys but I still hung out with you and I wound him up about it- he was acting all weird and jealous so I was rubbing it in his face, that'd I'd known you for ages, and I guess I must have pissed off more than I figured it. He's always been a dick to me but I never thought he'd hurt one of my friends, emotionally forget physically- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. You need ice, come on, I'll get you some ice for it," She rambled rubbing the corner of her eye because she genuinely felt responsible enough and remorseful enough to cry. She loved Jamie, he was the person she treasured the most in her life and in some ways she wasn't always sure it was just friendly emotion anymore but ah refused to dwell on it long when it crossed her mind- now wasn't the time for thinking about that.

She rubbed her arm guiltily, she couldn't bare to look at him because it reminded her about the kind of person Jace was and the kind of person if made her for putting up with him so long. She knew she wasn't romantically into him anymore, she knew he was a bully and a thug. She hated him in many ways but she couldn't stand to admit it to herself.

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Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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wednesday 2nd september
at home





He shouldn't have told her. He should have lied, protected her feelings. He could feel his heart sinking as she spoke. He'd brought on this. He'd made her feel like this. Typical- the one friend he had, and he'd broken her heart. Bloody typical.

Without saying anything, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. The pressure of her against his chest made the bruising on his chest sting a little, but he honestly didn't care. This was his fault, and Bella didn't deserve it. If he'd just stuck to his promises, if he'd stood up to Jace in the first place, this wouldn't be happening. He couldn't tell her now. If he told her about the blackmail, he'd really and truly break her heart.

"It's not your fault, Bella. He's never liked me," He said, releasing her and bending slightly so he was at her eye level. "Even if we weren't as close, he probably would have found a reason to beat my ass anyway. Jace is just a bully, okay? This isn't your fault. If anything, it's mine. He was saying some stuff, so I retaliated, he shoved me, so I punched him. Okay? I started the fight. If I'd just kept my cool, my face wouldn't be like this right now. My fault, okay? Not yours." Somewhat surprisingly, he was actually telling the truth. There had, admittedly, been a few shoves before Jamie had thrown the punch, but the fact remained, he'd actually thrown the punch.

"C'mon, I have frozen peas in my room for my face. We can go jam."

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Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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bella. Image
Wednesday 2nd September - 4:58 PM – Jamie's House – Outfit

※ Mood: Concerned - Lively - Angry - Protective
※ Listening To: Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
※ With: Jamie
With her sleeves pulled over her hands and tucked into her small quivering fists, she wrapped her around him more loosely than he had his around her because she was very conscious of his bruises and his pain. She was already responsible for it, she wouldn't let herself be the reason it got worst too. She closed her eyes and held onto him for a moment- just trying to find comfort and relief in his embrace and she did more or less. It was Jamie, how could she not find relief and reassurance in his company? That nagging blame and self-loathing still lingered in her mind but she pushed it aside for his sake because if she cried every time Jamie or one of her friends got into a scrap- she'd never stop but she couldn't bare to see someone she cared for and loved so dearly, hurt by someone she'd brought into the picture.

She looked him in the eye when he released her and she listened to him closely. "You wouldn't have started it for no reason Jamie. I know you, don't forget that. You can't excuse him and you can't excuse me. I'm just sorry- in a way, I'm glad you punched him because there is nothing he deserves more and I swear, I'll fucking break his jaw tomorrow when I see him- the way he spoke to me today, the way he spoke about you and now this- that's more than I'm going to let slip," She admitted gently frustrated, she ran a hand through her hair. "You should have told me things were this bad with him- I knew he was a dick, that's why, I'm trying to get rid of him have been for ages now but...regardless, this one isn't on you Jamie. I really wound him up today- I said everything I could just try to and cut him y'know, to see if I could actually get anything out of him- any remorse, any sign of being bothered, just some kind of sign to not to give up on him but I already had. I'm just sorry he took that out on you- I should have paid that debt myself, not you," She whispered softly. "But it'll be okay- I'll make sure you get cleaned up, I have a step-brother, I know how to heal up a punch and tomorrow- I'll say my bit and get rid of him for good, it's about time I did. But yeah, let's go jam," She told him softly, finally bringing herself together enough to totally shift her mind set of the situation and to think about something over than the pain caused but she had a plan in her head on how she could redeem herself fo causing the trouble and how she could send him a very, very, crystal clear message about who he was and how part of who he is was, was that he wasn't anything to do with her anymore. That was it, she had it set in stone already now.

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Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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wednesday 2nd september
at home





Jamie wasn't entirely happy with the thought of Bella talking to Jace like that, with her breaking up with him. He felt like it was going to come back to haunt him, but he didn't want to say anything, in case the whole blackmail thing came out. Part of him felt like she wouldn't ditch him when she found out, like things would be awkward but they'd manage it. And then the rest of him felt entirely like she was going to abandon him, like she was going to find someone better than him. He was already terrified of tomorrow.

He nodded as she said that she wanted to jam, and headed upstairs, knowing that she would follow. He paused the music, and tossed the phone to her, standing behind his keyboard and switching it on. "Pick a song. I can work on playing by ear," he said, pressing a few keys to make sure that it was working properly. He'd had the keyboard for years and was constantly afraid that it would stop working. But it hadn't failed him yet, and as usual, it worked perfectly.

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Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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bella. Image
Wednesday 2nd September - 4:58 PM – Jamie's House – Outfit

※ Mood: Concerned - Lively - Angry - Protective
※ Listening To: Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
※ With: Jamie
She followed Jamie upstairs and some how, she felt more at home here than she did in her own home but the sense of familiarity and safety was something she'd always cherished and the house had never seemed to change, not since she'd started coming over to hang out with Jamie when they were kids- it was just something stable, the reality of it was obviously different but the setting- that was stable for Bella. She flopped down in a chair in her room, sitting with her legs hanging over the edge of the arm of it and she caught his phone grinning at him lightly as she scrolled through his songs.

She loved Jamie's music taste- he was one of few people she knew he was totally in tune with her when it came to musical artists and before they'd known each other well it'd been a main basis for their friendship. She stared at the songs thoughtfully, going through them one song at a time and analytically considering everyone before she came to a song she knew they both loved.

"Car Radio," She announced after a while. "It was the first Twenty One Pilots song I ever learnt," She added thoughtfully.

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wednesday 2nd september
at home





Jamie grinned at her song recommendation, retrieving his phone from her and plugging it back into the speakers. His phone had become slow recently, so there was enough of a delay to get back to his keyboard before the song actually started. He'd played this a few times, and was familiar enough with it. Not familiar enough to play without the music, but familiar. The piano intro started, and he could play along.

When he was playing, it felt like he was back in the music room. The world didn't exist outside of this room, and neither did any of his problems. Music was the one constant part of his life- he knew his favourite songs were going to be there, even when his dad was stoned and his mom had only been at home long enough to cook dinner and he hadn't spoken to Bella in weeks and he wanted to throw himself into a river. The only time he wasn't anxious was when he was either playing or listening to music, because everything was constant. He didn't have to worry about the notes changing or the words changing, and even when he was learning something new, the mistakes didn't make him anxious. It was like he was a different person, the person he was with a healthy brain.

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Character Portrait: Arabella Swift Character Portrait: Jamie Chapman
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Wednesday 2nd September - 5:18 PM – Jamie's House – Outfit

※ Mood: Concerned - Quiet - Envious
※ Listening To: Car Radio - Twenty One Pilots
※ With: Jamie
She listened to him play and found herself unable but to grin in admiration- she still struggled to comprehend how you could just give him a song and he'd pick it up almost instantly- she envied it really, Bella as a person was rather talentless and she'd surrounded herself with musically talented friends and she had to admit, sometimes she did just fall into the trap of jealousy. She sang the words softly and quietly, not really in effort to be heard but it was more subconscious and aimed if at anyone, to herself.

She watched him at the keyboard and how his expression changed, the tension left his face and there was calamity in his eyes and it dawned on Bella that she was practically jealous of how that aging keyboard could temporarily cure his pain and cheer him up in a way which she was convinced she couldn't. She internally scoffed at herself, shaking her head- why was she thinking so much? She really had to be losing her mind if she was going to sit around feeling jealous of a musical instrument. It was just so hard to see him in pain or upset all the time when she wasn't capable of taking that pain away from him, it was starting to dawn on her that she only ever added to it and made things worse for him but selfishly, she couldn't leave him away- she was too attached to not have him by her side and see him everyday.

"I ponder of something great,
My lungs will fill and then deflate.
They fill with fire,
Exhale desire,
I know it's dire my time today,"


The words poured from between her lips naturally and with an ease people who sang commercially lacked. She didn't sing to be impressive or to improve unlike her friends in the band, she sang because she could- not as well as Celine or Jamie or any other vocalist in the world, just because she could open her mouth and words would come out, she could a hold note and follow a rhythm so why not? It was natural to her and something enjoyable, something therapeutic and calming. Something she didn't need to think about because there was nothing she could change about it anyway.

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wednesday 2nd september
at home





The first part of the song was simple enough, allowing him to pay some attention to Bella. She wasn't the best singer, but it wasn't hard to tell that she really loved it. As the first half of the verse finished, he had to turn back to paying attention to the music for the interlude. The first half or so of the song was easy enough, and he could leave Bella to sing. But for the bridge, things grew a lot more intense, both vocally wise and musically wise. And that was where Jamie could come into his own.

It was slightly more similar to the usual keyboard work he'd be doing on stage, especially when combined with his vocals. He hadn't had a proper jamming session, even a band rehearsal, in so long, and he was relishing it. The keyboard work was easy, and even the vocals weren't too hard. Compared to some songs that they'd played live, it was a walk in the park.

As it came to the bridge, he switched the setting on the keyboard to give it the electronic sound and started playing the bridge part. Again, it was simple, and he was familiar enough with it that he could play it immediately. He knew that the vocals would be too harsh for Bella and much more suited to him, and so he took over. His screams were a little harsher and deeper than the original singers, and perhaps a fraction too harsh for the song, but he couldn't do anything about that.

"And now I just sit in silence."