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Default Location for Skins: Secrets Out
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Booth Lane College is a part of 
Skins: Secrets Out.
9 Characters Here
Arabella Swift [249] "You dumb fucking bitch,"
Jamie Chapman [241] "And all of the mothers raise their babies to stay away from me."
Ellie Wallace [160] "Don't belong to no city, don't belong to no man."
Nate Carlile [160] "I am the passenger,"
Skylar Grocott [43] "I got paint on my finger tips, paint on my soul but I'd rather be colourful than blacked out and faded."
Alex Robinson [38] "So this time, I'll make you proud."
Celine Dawson [10] "What's the worst thing that could happen?"
Fee Akkerman [9] "I swear, I'm not nearly as scary as I look!"
Yeong-gi Mirren [5] "Come on, I ain't that bad to be around."
Start Character Here »
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Surprised - Chilled- Nervous
※ Listening To: Pink Floyd
※ With: Jamie
1. Get inside Karma, get a shot down so she could chill out a bit.
2. Dance because as uptight as Bella could be, she always loved to dance ever since she was a child it'd been her thing to go to dance classes and do the recitals everywhere, she didn't even limit herself to a genre or style- to her it was all down to the music and the mood, everything else was purely spontaneous.
That was her game plan and she figured with any luck, it'd get her through the night without tears, pain, trouble or embarrassment. The other part of her plan was to avoid getting too wasted, she'd only say or do something regrettable if she did.
To her joy, the queue this early in the night was only twenty maybe twenty-five people long and they were getting let in seemingly quite quickly so she walked over to the back of the queue and patiently waited. She had a fake ID in her bag but she doubted she'd need it, no body usually checked her for the ID not on this side of town, she was fairly well known by the locals and was always given an easy slide. She was that one friend who could basically get you in anywhere and then get you served too. She considered it to be one of her few talents.
Friday 4th September 6:30 PM– Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Chilled – Light - Content – Upbeat
※ Listening To: Way Away - Yellowcard
※ With: Ellie
When he looked at the queue, to him it looked completely infinite and he groaned in despair as they joined the line and he patted his pockets down to find his phone and then he pulled it out and started playing 'Space Invaders' with the sound on. He wouldn't be able to stand in a queue for even a few minutes so he didn't even try and stand through it. He just wouldn't cope, he sometimes wandered if he had ADHD or something else similar related to hyperactivity because he didn't stop moving, fidgeting or talking- he didn't sleep much either, just tended to play games through the night and then get up and go to school and fidget all day. He pondered over that for a while but eventually lost his trial thought to the game. "Ellie, how long will the queue take?" He asked childishly as he looked up at her for a split second. "Longer than 15 and I'll actually lose the will,"
friday 4th september
club
The queue was moving quickly enough now, and Jamie shoved away from the wall to stand upright. Nate was already getting impatient, and Jamie was suddenly glad that he wasn't anxious. The noise of people talking would have been bad enough for him, but the chirping from Nate's phone would have driven him mad, and he surely would have given himself away. But now it was just irritating as opposed to overwhelming. He patted his pockets, checking he had his ID.
Bella was the only one of them underage, but she was also perhaps the least likely to be checked. Jamie was a year older than her, but he was frequently checked when she wasn't. It was Bella's natural confidence- which, while perhaps a little diminished, was still present. She probably wasn't going to get checked, but any of the rest of them could.
Bella was the only one of them underage, but she was also perhaps the least likely to be checked. Jamie was a year older than her, but he was frequently checked when she wasn't. It was Bella's natural confidence- which, while perhaps a little diminished, was still present. She probably wasn't going to get checked, but any of the rest of them could.
friday 4th september
club
It didn't take long for Nate to get impatient, despite the fact that the queue was moving quicker than usual. The bleeping of his phone just grew steadily more annoying, but she bit her tongue. She'd given out to Nate enough- if she kept giving out, he'd get annoyed with her, and she didn't want to push away the only friend she really had.
That said, when he started asking about the time, she couldn't bite her tongue any longer. "Jesus, Nate, I thought weed was supposed to relax you? We won't be too long, just look how quickly we're moving already," she said, keeping her tone relaxed to limit the amount of snappiness in it. She wasn't trying to be mean- but he was starting to get a little irritating, and she hadn't had enough alcohol to deal with it completely yet.
That said, when he started asking about the time, she couldn't bite her tongue any longer. "Jesus, Nate, I thought weed was supposed to relax you? We won't be too long, just look how quickly we're moving already," she said, keeping her tone relaxed to limit the amount of snappiness in it. She wasn't trying to be mean- but he was starting to get a little irritating, and she hadn't had enough alcohol to deal with it completely yet.
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Surprised - Chilled- Nervous
※ Listening To: Pink Floyd
※ With: Jamie
She drummed her nail against a bar that ran a long the queue besides them and drummed a four bar beat to amuse herself then stopped and didn't bother doing anything else. She listened to Nate and Ellie for a while but found herself completely zoning out from it all.
Friday 4th September 6:30 PM– Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Chilled – Light - Content – Upbeat
※ Listening To: Way Away - Yellowcard
※ With: Ellie
"Sorry Ellie I didnt mean to piss you of, I dont know you know me," He sighed softly in a genuine manner. Spotting thew bouncer, he was quick to finish his joint but very careful then he stamped it out as to make sure it was not atill burning after he discarded it. Then he checked his wallet for his ID and relaxed a litfle. "You know, air head, dip shit and that. I didn't mean anything," He mumbled quietly genuinely feeling quite bad for getting on her nerves, that was the other thing with Nate he cared to the point even the dsmallest things mattered and they genuinely bothered him to the point of feeling guilty. So he set his phone back in his pocket and inside the pocket of his jacket he fiddled with an elastic band. He always wore on his wrist, it kind of helped him focus in classes if he had something to fiddle with or fidget about with so he had a massive stock of elastic bands in his school bag, desk drawer, coat pockets and always one on his wrist. It was just one of his things.
friday 4th september
club
Jamie raised his eyebrows as Ellie snapped at Nate. Usually, the two were like peas in a pod, and even for Ellie, the snapping was a little harsh. He rolled his eyes as Nate started to apologise, approaching the bouncer. He wasn't entirely surprised when he was asked for ID, but the card barely got more than a cursory glance. The club was exactly has he had been expecting- busy, but not packed. Glancing over his shoulder to make sure the others were following, he headed straight for the bar, receiving a nod from the bartender. He'd been here enough to be friendly with most of them, and one of them working that night played in a band that Jamie's band frequently played shows with.
That particular guy beckoned Jamie over. As Jamie went over to him, the bartender leaned over the counter to yell in his ear. "The band's keyboard player bailed on them, feel like filling in?" Jamie nodded, glad of the chance to play some music. The bartender nodded. "Awesome. They're backstage, go have a chat with them."
Before he went backstage, though, he found the others. "I'm playing with the band, they need keyboards. Don't leave without me," he told them, before heading back.
That particular guy beckoned Jamie over. As Jamie went over to him, the bartender leaned over the counter to yell in his ear. "The band's keyboard player bailed on them, feel like filling in?" Jamie nodded, glad of the chance to play some music. The bartender nodded. "Awesome. They're backstage, go have a chat with them."
Before he went backstage, though, he found the others. "I'm playing with the band, they need keyboards. Don't leave without me," he told them, before heading back.
friday 4th september
club
Ellie sighed as Nate started apologising. She immediately felt bad- she hadn't meant to be so mean, but he'd really started to get on her nerves. "It's fine, Nate, seriously. I just lost my temper, I'm sorry. Oh, look, we're here," she said. She showed her ID to the bouncer, flashing him a grin. She grabbed Nate's hand and pulled him towards the bar. "C'mon, shots!" She yelled, climbing onto a stool. She nodded briefly as Jamie told them where he was going, then turned to the bartender herself and told him their intentions. She turned around to face Nate with a grin and an eyebrow raised. "You ready?"
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Surprised - Chilled- Nervous
※ Listening To: Pink Floyd
※ With: Jamie
At Ellie's enthusiasm she grinned widely at the pair. She'd turned a blind eye to their small quarrel firstly because she didn't particular care, it wasn't anything serious or a big deal and secondly because they'd already moved on and were seemingly ready to get a bit more serious about their drinking.
When Ellie suggested shots to Nate, Bella swung over to their sides and laughed gently. "Count me in!" She chirped casually.
She knew it was kind of their own personal game but Bella was desperate to get herself drunk as quickly as possible so it's numb the thoughts in her mind, her stomach and the ever growing anxiety of being around Jamie knowing he knows but not even knowing because it was an assumption. She sighed softly- she definitely needed a drink. The bar tender lined their shots on the side and she spread them out passing them down the bar one to Nate, one to Ellie and the last to herself.
Friday 4th September 6:30 PM– Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Chilled – Light - Content – Upbeat
※ Listening To: Way Away - Yellowcard
※ With: Ellie
"Yes shots," He agreed as they reached the bar and he grinned at Jamie as he announced his departure and promised they wouldn't leave without him and then turned his attention to the pressing matter of ruining his soberity.
As the shots were lined up in front of them he looked at down the bar at Ellie and Bella.
"On three?" He suggested with a quirked grin.
friday 4th september
club
"Don't suppose you're a keyboard player?" One of the guys in the dressing room said desperately as he walked in. "By chance, I am. The bartender asked me if I'd fill in," Jamie replied. They all cheered, and one, whose constant tapping on every surface within reach gave him away as the drummer, yelled, "PRAISE THE LORD!" It was an oddly familiar scene- there'd been once or twice where he'd been running late for a show and the others had started to worry that he wasn't going to turn up. But when he arrived, equipment in tow, there was always the same reception. He instinctively laughed, all inhibitions gone. They weren't being hostile- they were just glad to have somebody who could cover for them. And that was one of his favourite things about playing music- the sense of comradery it brought and the friends it was so easy to make.
"Alright, what've you got? What music can you play?" They started to quiz him about his music, before hauling out the keyboard and getting him to play something. They seemed happy enough, and they all sat down to start discussing the set list. A few changes had to be made- Jamie was good, but he couldn't learn the words and the music for a song in the short amount of space they had.
[font=garamond]friday 4th september
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[justify]When Bella said that she was going to join in, Ellie simply shrugged and said, "The more the merrier!" If Bella wanted to get drunk, she wasn't going to stop her. After all, that was why they were all there. With the exception of Jamie- he'd gone off to play some music.
Ellie nod at Nate's suggestion. "Three, two, one!" She counted, before pouring the first shot down her throat. It burned, but she didn't give herself time to dwell on it before taking the next one- and the next one, and the next one... It was definitely a better alternative to taking drugs. There were no needles or needle marks to cover up, no hygiene precautions, no risk of anything dodgy like there was with heroin- that and it was probably less destructive. But when it came to Ellie, that wasn't always a good thing.
She finished the last of her shots and shook her head, already starting to feel the effects. "Wow, that was some good shit," she remarked, laughing and looking down at the others.
"Alright, what've you got? What music can you play?" They started to quiz him about his music, before hauling out the keyboard and getting him to play something. They seemed happy enough, and they all sat down to start discussing the set list. A few changes had to be made- Jamie was good, but he couldn't learn the words and the music for a song in the short amount of space they had.
[font=garamond]friday 4th september
club
[justify]When Bella said that she was going to join in, Ellie simply shrugged and said, "The more the merrier!" If Bella wanted to get drunk, she wasn't going to stop her. After all, that was why they were all there. With the exception of Jamie- he'd gone off to play some music.
Ellie nod at Nate's suggestion. "Three, two, one!" She counted, before pouring the first shot down her throat. It burned, but she didn't give herself time to dwell on it before taking the next one- and the next one, and the next one... It was definitely a better alternative to taking drugs. There were no needles or needle marks to cover up, no hygiene precautions, no risk of anything dodgy like there was with heroin- that and it was probably less destructive. But when it came to Ellie, that wasn't always a good thing.
She finished the last of her shots and shook her head, already starting to feel the effects. "Wow, that was some good shit," she remarked, laughing and looking down at the others.
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Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Surprised - Chilled- Nervous
※ Listening To: Pink Floyd
※ With: Jamie
"Though the best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry" She muttered to herself a soft frown perking on her lips for a second but it later disappeared and she turned to the two members of company besides her and faked a smile with a forced burst of energy.
"It was indeed," She agreed struggling to make a laugh pass her lips. She was kind of worried now she was actually out here- would she get done for going out when she got home? Would her Mother kick off? It made her feel sick so she bit her lip for a moment until she could focus more accurately on the ongoing conversation. She almost wished Jamie was still around now but she didn't want to wish his happiness and time away, music made him happy and consequently it had a positive effect on her too so she didn't entertain the thought. [/ font]
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Surprised - Chilled- Nervous
※ Listening To: Pink Floyd
※ With: Jamie
"Though the best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry" She muttered to herself a soft frown perking on her lips for a second but it later disappeared and she turned to the two members of company besides her and faked a smile with a forced burst of energy.
"It was indeed," She agreed struggling to make a laugh pass her lips. She was kind of worried now she was actually out here- would she get done for going out when she got home? Would her Mother kick off? It made her feel sick so she bit her lip for a moment until she could focus more accurately on the ongoing conversation. She almost wished Jamie was still around now but she didn't want to wish his happiness and time away, music made him happy and consequently it had a positive effect on her too so she didn't entertain the thought. [/ font]
font=Garamond]
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Surprised - Chilled- Nervous
※ Listening To: Pink Floyd
※ With: Jamie
"Though the best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry" She muttered to herself a soft frown perking on her lips for a second but it later disappeared and she turned to the two members of company besides her and faked a smile with a forced burst of energy.
"It was indeed," She agreed struggling to make a laugh pass her lips. She was kind of worried now she was actually out here- would she get done for going out when she got home? Would her Mother kick off? It made her feel sick so she bit her lip for a moment until she could focus more accurately on the ongoing conversation. She almost wished Jamie was still around now but she didn't want to wish his happiness and time away, music made him happy and consequently it had a positive effect on her too so she didn't entertain the thought. [/ font]
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Surprised - Chilled- Nervous
※ Listening To: Pink Floyd
※ With: Jamie
"Though the best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry" She muttered to herself a soft frown perking on her lips for a second but it later disappeared and she turned to the two members of company besides her and faked a smile with a forced burst of energy.
"It was indeed," She agreed struggling to make a laugh pass her lips. She was kind of worried now she was actually out here- would she get done for going out when she got home? Would her Mother kick off? It made her feel sick so she bit her lip for a moment until she could focus more accurately on the ongoing conversation. She almost wished Jamie was still around now but she didn't want to wish his happiness and time away, music made him happy and consequently it had a positive effect on her too so she didn't entertain the thought. [/ font]
Friday 4th September 6:30 PM– Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Chilled – Light - Content – Upbeat
※ Listening To: Way Away - Yellowcard
※ With: Ellie
He ordered himself a drink and looked at Bella and Ellie. "Either of you two want a spacer or anything whilst I'm at the bar?" He asked softly. He knew they'd probably decline anything non-alcoholic but he wanted to put the idea out there just to make them think about it really and be wary of their drinking pace but he knew both of them better.
"I might go outside for a joint," Bella mumbled to them and Nate nodded at her. "Well we'll come out with you if you want but I'm done for pot tonight," Nate replied casually, he didn't think much of Bela smoking it wasn't unusual for her- she probably smoked at least five or six every fortnight- far less than Nate did but no body had any expectations of him- he was as thick as a plank of wood so it didn't surprise or disappoint anyone except himself sometimes.
friday 4th september
club
Ellie glanced at Bella. Something was off about the other girl, and even the alcohol hadn't taken the edge off. She looked over at Nate as he offered them a spacer. Her first instinct was to decline, but she thought better of it. "I'll have a Diet Coke, anyway." Perhaps getting totally pissed so quickly wasn't the best idea.
When Bella said she was going out to have a joint, Ellie jumped at the opportunity. "Nope, no you're not. C'mon, let's dance!" She said, grabbing the other girl's arms and pulling her towards the dancefloor. She wasn't going to allow Bella to mope, and getting stoned was no way to deal with it. She'd tried that and that hadn't worked. "If you want to get stoned after, then I'll go out with you. But first, dancing!" She yelled over the music. She wasn't much of a dancer- usually she just did what everyone else did. But tonight, she broke out the dad dancing moves, determined to make Bella laugh. She knew that she was drawing attention to herself, but she honestly didn't care.
When Bella said she was going out to have a joint, Ellie jumped at the opportunity. "Nope, no you're not. C'mon, let's dance!" She said, grabbing the other girl's arms and pulling her towards the dancefloor. She wasn't going to allow Bella to mope, and getting stoned was no way to deal with it. She'd tried that and that hadn't worked. "If you want to get stoned after, then I'll go out with you. But first, dancing!" She yelled over the music. She wasn't much of a dancer- usually she just did what everyone else did. But tonight, she broke out the dad dancing moves, determined to make Bella laugh. She knew that she was drawing attention to herself, but she honestly didn't care.
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Surprised - Chilled- Nervous
※ Listening To: Pink Floyd
※ With: Jamie
"Okay Ellie," She replied loudly before finding a connection to the rhythm and the beat of the music. The band hadn't came in yet and rock music screamed at Bella through the speakers but after some doubt and fear she embraced it. She tossed her hair back out of her head and she moved along confidently to the music. Dancing just came to Bella as naturally as breathing and after a few lyrics she had her arms up and her body was moving, she always felt at home on any kind of stage or dance floor, it was maybe the only place she did feel at home and you could tell. She gave Ellie a small grin and reached over to grab her hand and encourage her into dancing a bit more.
"Come on!" She chimed softly to her. The next track to play was a Royal Blood number that Bella had been obsessed with when it came out. She laughed and embraced the song and for a moment she was kind of managing to forget about all the things she worring about. The pain in her stomach was nauseating but she closed her eyes and tried to forget about it and just focus on coordinating herself. Her hair was everywhere around her, framing her body and chasing her movements. Though it quickly became apparent she was testing her luck because a sudden wave of pain surged through her stomach and she hissed in pain and half doubled over pressing both of her hands flat against her stomach accidentally gritting her teeth. She tried to straighten herself out before Ellie properly noticed what was occurring and she was kind of hoping the lack of light would have been enough to hide her facial expression from the other girl.
Friday 4th September 6:30 PM– Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Chilled – Light - Content – Upbeat
※ Listening To: Way Away - Yellowcard
※ With: Ellie
He spoke to the bar tender a little, just enquiring about the music and what time the band were due to come and genuine things but mostly all he did was sit there looking out for Ellie and Bella.
friday 4th september
club
Everything was set up behind the curtain on the small stage, but some adjustments need to be made. Whoever usually played the piano was shorter than him, so he had to adjust the stand. The curtain was more of a safety precaution than anything- it wasn't like they were some huge band, deserving a huge entrance. It was just so their instruments weren't at risk of being damaged.
Once they were set up, it was just a matter of waiting for the song playing to finish. It was a nervous wait- but not in a bad way. Music was the one thing that never made Jamie anxious. The curtains were drawn back, and they started to play.
Once they were set up, it was just a matter of waiting for the song playing to finish. It was a nervous wait- but not in a bad way. Music was the one thing that never made Jamie anxious. The curtains were drawn back, and they started to play.
friday 4th september
club
Ellie grinned at Bella. The girl didn't seem to be that uptight about things, so Ellie relaxed a little. After a few seconds, somebody tapped her on the shoulder. It was a man, easily four or five inches taller than her, even in her heels, and definitely a few years older than her.
"Hey, babe. Let's dance," he said, going to grab her waist. He was attractive, but a pretty face wasn't going to excise that. She pushed him away and drew herself up to her full height, allowing her smile to fall from her face. "Excuse me, but I prefer a man who asks before touching," she snapped. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Bella double over. Ellie whirled away from the man and headed for Bella.
"You okay?" She asked. So much was happening- the band and Jamie had just come on, the man had been a dick, and now this. She wasn't drunk enough to deal with it all.
"Hey, I'm sorry. But let's dance, I'll make up for it," the man continued, touching Ellie's shoulder once again. Ellie spun around to face him, staring him in the face. "Can't you see I'm busy?" She snapped, before turning back to Bella.
"Hey, babe. Let's dance," he said, going to grab her waist. He was attractive, but a pretty face wasn't going to excise that. She pushed him away and drew herself up to her full height, allowing her smile to fall from her face. "Excuse me, but I prefer a man who asks before touching," she snapped. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Bella double over. Ellie whirled away from the man and headed for Bella.
"You okay?" She asked. So much was happening- the band and Jamie had just come on, the man had been a dick, and now this. She wasn't drunk enough to deal with it all.
"Hey, I'm sorry. But let's dance, I'll make up for it," the man continued, touching Ellie's shoulder once again. Ellie spun around to face him, staring him in the face. "Can't you see I'm busy?" She snapped, before turning back to Bella.
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Surprised - Chilled- Nervous
※ Listening To: Pink Floyd
※ With: Jamie
She looked at Ellie when she questioned her and bit her tongue to stop herself cursing out loud when she was addressed about the problem.
Lie.
Lie.
Lie.
All she could think about was how desperately she needed to lie but how ashamed she was that she wouldn't even consider telling Ellie the truth about anything. "Yeah I'm good Ellie, just got some serious cramps you know how it is," She rambled falsely but as she finished talking the guy piped up again and Bella closed her mouth.
"Do you mind?" She shot back at him sourly but before she could say anything else or expand on her outburst, Nate had seemingly appeared out of no where besides them and she cringed slightly realising how things were suddenly getting turned up a notch. She turned her head when she heard the band came on stage and she instantly swerved her eyes over the set to find Jamie and she almost smiled when she saw him up on the stage doing what he loved but she was too nervous and worried to focus on him and the band properly now and her brain felt slightly blurred from the shots.
Friday 4th September 6:30 PM– Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Chilled – Light - Content – Upbeat
※ Listening To: Way Away - Yellowcard
※ With: Ellie
He couldn't even stand to think about what this man was trying at, especially when Ellie was involved and he instantly started pushing the crowd aside and forcing his way through the tightly packed audience to make his way to the girls. He looked up at the guy who was taller but only by a matter of inches and probably fitter and more athletic but in his anger and protective rage he forgot himself. It's not to be ignored that Nate isn't unfit and he could throw a good punch if he needed too, Ellie could probably name at least one occasion but he was no fighter, not really.
"What the fuck do you think you are playing at?" He shouted sourly at the man in front of him. Seeing Nate this pissed off was incredibly rare and would only ever occur in a negative situation involving either Ellie or his Mother- he didn't really care about anything else enough to get riled up this much and he was too laid back to bother protesting much but once you crossed into the line of the two people he really cared about, you'd gone way too far in his books.
He looked at Ellie and if you looked past the surface of anger there was nothing but concern written in his expression. "You okay?" He asked quietly leaning over so she'd be able to hear him over the music and suddenly shouting and screaming crowd.
friday 4th september
club
At first, Jamie didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. He and Celine had played Karma a few times, and the crowd seemed to be the same as ever. It was only as he started looking for the others that he realised that all was not well. Ellie looked pissed, Nate appeared to be verbally assaulting somebody, and Bella didn't look in great shape. He glanced at the singer, who appeared to have noticed something as well. But they didn't have much of an option other than to keep playing. So that's what they kept doing. Jamie started his vocal part, turning his attention aware from the others for a few seconds.
friday 4th september
club
Ellie didn't entirely believe Bella's story, but she supposed that it was plausible. However, before she could suggest going out for that joint, Nate appeared and started yelling at the guy. Great, now Ellie had to act like the responsible adult for two people. She was really starting to resent Jamie for clearing off- well, not really, but she would have appreciated an extra set of hands.
The guy looked Nate up and down, before swinging a punch and decking Nate straight across the face. Ellie flinched- partially because she was able to guess how much it hurt, and possibly because she knew what was going to happen now. She put her hand on Nate's arm, hoping that it might stop him, but knowing it wouldn't.
The guy looked Nate up and down, before swinging a punch and decking Nate straight across the face. Ellie flinched- partially because she was able to guess how much it hurt, and possibly because she knew what was going to happen now. She put her hand on Nate's arm, hoping that it might stop him, but knowing it wouldn't.
&
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club
Nate swung for him. Of course he did, his cheek was slightly cut and the hit had felt like the guy had been wearing a ring so on top of the numbing ache of being punched he had the sour sting of a cut but he clamped his mouth shut and ignored it. He'd been punched enough times to literally take it on the chin. Where the other guy had swung with strength, Nate struck more quickly and with more tactical placement- the nose always hurt more. He hit the guy square on the bridge of his nose and quite strongly too. He glared at the guy with anger, anger that didn't belong on Nate's facial features. Nate was the lovable guy, a bit of loser but he was the overly friendly chilled out guy who always looked deeper into a person than their skin
If Nate had taken a second to think properly, he'd be shitting himself but he hadn't because he just cared too much about Ellie to not get intervene and get involved- it didn't even feel like a duty to him to protect Ellie, it was instinct. He knew it was stupid because it wasn't even like they were together but even just forgetting that, she was his best friend literally in the world and one of his only real friends and he couldn't let someone behave like that towards her- he couldn't not do anything.
He couldn't stop glaring at this guy in front of him but he didn't hit him again, he was immature but not enough to slip into the trap of letting things slip into a full on fist fight- they'd thrown a punch each, if the other guy accepted it they could be done but that didn't mean Nate wasn't tempted to at least try and beat the shit out of him. "You don't touch a woman like that you bastard, not when she says it isn't okay, you just don't fucking do it,"
Arabella sighed and she took a strong grip on Nate's arm and pulled him back. "Nate you're 100% right but we're going. You got him okay and we need to check you out. So just let it go now," She encouraged before gesturing to Ellie and dragging Nate after her through the crowd towards the back of the room.
"I'm sorry Ellie, I'm sorry. I just...I can't watch that kind of shit, I can't just let people be like that," He grumbled guiltily. Now reality had kicked in a bit more, he felt terrible- he was ruining Jamie's set by causing a commotion, he'd probably embarrassed the hell out of Ellie like he always did and Bella didn't need a stressful night out on top of all of the other secret drama she was harbouring because he could tell too that she wasn't right. He'd heard her comment about the bar, when she'd quoted 'To a Mouse' to herself, he'd just been too off guard to comment on it properly so he tried to act clueless. "You too Bella, I'm sorry but I'm a guy- I know what guys are like, he wouldn't have stopped and," He sighed again doubting himself and he ran his hand through his thick hair brushing it back down to how he'd styled it to the side before they left. He felt awful and now he wasn't even sure what to say. It was hard for Nate, raised primarily by his Mother but having a 'gentlemanly' father he'd been brought up to hold doors for women, pull out their seats and defend their honour when necessary especially that of his Mother and dates and although Ellie wasn't his date- she was more important than that, she was his best friend even though they fooled around sometimes and complicated things for themselves, even without that he'd still have the need to do these things for her simply because he cares about her but he'd gone too far this time, even he could admit that. He just didn't know how to make things right.
Arabella looked up at the stage because she heard Jamie's voice and if anything could capture her attention, it was him and she smiled softly at him. It was something familiar and comforting to see Jamie up on stage doing his thing and she smiled because he knew he would have seen what went on but she didn't want him to worry about them because he would, she knew that. Whenever Bella went out for an evening Jamie would be completely flooding her phone checking she was okay so she knew he that character about him and she did not want this to be ruined for him, so she did what she could to let him know they were okay, she even made a small gesture with her hands like she was back in the '90s before she ushered Ellie and Nate outside to get some air and once they were out she rolled herself a joint and looked at them both.
"Anyone else?" She asked calmly, she hadn't bothered responding to Nate's previous apology because she thought it was stupid, she agreed with his actions and his words so she didn't feel like he was in a position where he should apologise. She just felt like it would be for the greater good if they all took ten minutes to just take a deep breath and calm down before they went back in to watch the rest of the set.
friday 4th september
club
It was strange the release he got from singing. He hadn't even started screaming yet, but he could already feel all of the negative emotions draining away. Nothing grounded him like music, and if he did survive the year, this was all he wanted to do. It was the only time he really felt alive. His good mood lasted until he looked back at the crowd. Bella had a firm grip on Nate, who looked like he was about to kill the guy he'd been verbally abusing, and Ellie still looked like she wanted to punch someone. But even then, Bella dragged Nate away, pausing briefly to look at him and smile. He winked at her, before turning his attention to the mike in front of him again.
Perhaps leaving Bella alone with Ellie and Nate hadn't been the best idea. He'd thought that Ellie had been joking when she'd said that she wanted to cause some trouble- but in hindsight, perhaps she hadn't. Still, they couldn't cause too much damage if they were outside.
Perhaps leaving Bella alone with Ellie and Nate hadn't been the best idea. He'd thought that Ellie had been joking when she'd said that she wanted to cause some trouble- but in hindsight, perhaps she hadn't. Still, they couldn't cause too much damage if they were outside.
friday 4th september
club
She'd been right- her hand on Nate's arm had done nothing. She quickly stepped back, holding up her hands. She just watched the two of them, her anger rising. Of course Nate had to fight her battles for her. Of course he forgot that she was a capable adult with a mean right hook. She wasn't sure if she was angry at him or at the other guy or at the both of them. She'd never been so glad for Bella's presence- she was able to talk Nate out of it before he punched the other guy again. Ellie ignored Nate's apology, stalking towards the exit. Outside, she wrapped her arms around herself and exhaled heavily, trying to calm herself down. Nate had just been standing up for her. He was just doing what friends did.
But fuck, was she wishing that she'd come out alone now.
"You know, Nate, your apologies would be a lot more effective if you didn't keep doing the thing that you apologise for," she remarked.
But fuck, was she wishing that she'd come out alone now.
"You know, Nate, your apologies would be a lot more effective if you didn't keep doing the thing that you apologise for," she remarked.
&
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club
Nate looked incredibly disheartened and a small once they'd stepped out the door and everything hit him, the single sentence that passed Ellie's lips came down on him but with the impact of a thousand tonnes of bricks rather than words. He kept his distance from the two girls, completely ignoring Bella entirely not in a malicious way but she just wasn't his priority.
He knew he'd messed up if the ache in his jaw didn't tell him that, Ellie's face did and he didn't even want hr to understand why he did it because she was so much of a better person than him he didn't want to degrade her to that and pull her down to his level of maturity and intelligence but what he did want her to remember is that most of the time, he was just trying to protect her- be the best friend he could be to her but if he was going to do that, he'd stop smoking because he knew she kind of hated it and he'd go to school more of the time so she was never even left with a chance of being alone and he'd listen in class so when she needed him to, he could actually say something remotely intelligent but he never did and he wasn't sure why. It's what he wanted to do, maybe he was just so much of a loser in his own head he knew better than to try.
"I know,"
His breath came out more rugged than usually and slightly harsh and there was little tone in his voice except for remorse and it made Bella cringe because all she could see was the desperation and guilt radiating off Nate but at the same time, she knew where Ellie was coming from, she knew exactly where she was coming from and she could see why she was upset but se could even more obviously see that Nate's heart was in the best of places and he was probably the most selfless person she knew. She also knew that Nate had been brought up the old fashion way but for someone was independent and self assured as Ellie, that just wasn't admirable- it was just an insult.
She knew Nate was oblivious to her, so she didn't bother mentioning to him she was going inside but she touched Ellie's arm to try and reassure her and offered an empathetic smile. "I'm going to inside and support Jamie, I don't think you guys need a spectator but I'll be inside if you need me," She told her understandingly and purely as a friendly gesture but not wanting her to forget one o the most important things she looked at Ellie sincerely. "I know where you're coming from but just remember where his heart is yeah?" She whispered softly so Nate wouldn't overhear. "I'll see you in a minute, text me if you can't see me," She suggested before heading back inside.
Being as petite as she was, he made parting the crowd to get closer to the front look effortless and she bobbed casually along in the pit just looking up at the band and although she was worried and upset about what had happened with Ellie and Nate and that she was terrified of going home and her stomach burnt like a Salem witch in church, just standing there surrounding by people who didn't care who she was and staring up at the person she cared most about- it took a lot of the pain away enough for her to smile. Nate and Ellie would fix things they always did- like an old married couple and that was he only thing stopping her from a good night so she neglected the thought and selfishly, she just took the time to appreciate the band instead.
friday 4th september
club
A song or two passed, and Jamie was once again distracted. He was glad that he'd gotten the opportunity to go onstage- because if he hadn't, the anxiety would have been driving him mad. But on stage, it was all shoved to the back of his mind. He didn't worry. He didn't hate himself. He felt grounded.
He looked down to see Bella up the front again. He grinned a little at her as the singer took a brief break and a mouthful of water. But then he had to glance back down at the hastily scribbled set list to see what they were playing next and identify the song. He didn't need to think too hard about the next song, though. He'd be doing most of the vocals in it, but he didn't mind.
"Alright, up next is a little song called Pittsburgh," the singer said. Jamie didn't get much of an intro before he had to start, but he was ready. He was just in that mindset, where the only thing he could think about was the music.
He looked down to see Bella up the front again. He grinned a little at her as the singer took a brief break and a mouthful of water. But then he had to glance back down at the hastily scribbled set list to see what they were playing next and identify the song. He didn't need to think too hard about the next song, though. He'd be doing most of the vocals in it, but he didn't mind.
"Alright, up next is a little song called Pittsburgh," the singer said. Jamie didn't get much of an intro before he had to start, but he was ready. He was just in that mindset, where the only thing he could think about was the music.
friday 4th september
club
Part of Ellie knew that she was being too harsh, but it was all of the little things that were starting to get to her. Everything kept going wrong, and she wanted to ditch them and go somewhere where she could get really messed up without having Nate fight her fights for her, or Bella nearly flaking out on her. People wondered why she didn't have many friends, and then there was incidents like this.
She didn't acknowledge Bella's comment, just staring at the streetlight above their heads. "Is that all I'm going to get?" She asked. "Nate, you need to acknowledge that these are my fights. I know you have the urge to be grand and chivalrous and protect us women, but I don't need protecting. You forget that I go out without you, and I never get hurt. I kickbox, remember?" She said, looking over at him.
"I know you're only trying to protect me, but you also need to remember that I don't need protecting. You've known me long enough to know that I can stand up for myself," she said, pushing herself away from the wall towards him.
"C'mere, let me look at that cut," she said.
She didn't acknowledge Bella's comment, just staring at the streetlight above their heads. "Is that all I'm going to get?" She asked. "Nate, you need to acknowledge that these are my fights. I know you have the urge to be grand and chivalrous and protect us women, but I don't need protecting. You forget that I go out without you, and I never get hurt. I kickbox, remember?" She said, looking over at him.
"I know you're only trying to protect me, but you also need to remember that I don't need protecting. You've known me long enough to know that I can stand up for myself," she said, pushing herself away from the wall towards him.
"C'mere, let me look at that cut," she said.
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Surprised - Chilled- Nervous
※ Listening To: Pink Floyd
※ With: Jamie
She sang along quietly but passionately to herself trying really hard not to look at Jamie too much and totally give her emotions away. Honestly, she didn't even worry about Nate and Ellie again because they were Nate and Ellie, they'd never lasted more than day without one another around and her Mother was inevitable and the physical pain was temporary. In that moment where she was just happily fighting not to get crushed in the small but respectable and growing mosh pit.
It was kind of funny, despite being at home this was probably one of the most dangerous locations she put herself in close compact with older men, drunk people, high and stoned people but she'd never really felt so secure and stable.
Music.
It was music, although she didn't create it but rather amplified it through movement- it was her driving force, just like it was for the band on stage that night and she silently thanked for them for that small movement of hope they'd brought to her.
Friday 4th September 6:30 PM– Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Chilled – Light - Content – Upbeat
※ Listening To: Way Away - Yellowcard
※ With: Ellie
He'd forgotten about the cut till Ellie said about it, his initial instinct was to brush it off but he knew better. He stepped forwards and walked over to her, tilting his head so she could see; "Is it bad?" He asked quietly.
friday 4th september
club
The atmosphere was incredible. These times never seemed to last long enough. He was enjoying himself and everyone around him was enjoying themselves. People were responding well to his vocals, screaming along or starting mosh pits. Whatever part of his brain was missing, whatever part of him made him so sick, so screwed up- it was present on stage. This was who he really was. He was only really alive when he was onstage.
The song ended, and Jamie had a moment where he was overwhelmed by the fact that people were cheering for him, that people had actually liked it. He grinned as he took a mouthful of water. He hadn't gotten much of a chance to warm up before the show, but that had been the only song they were going to play where it would be overly strenuous on his vocal chords. He only had to do backing vocals in the next song anyway. He searched the crowd for Bella and grinned as he found her in a mosh pit. Ellie and Nate still hadn't returned, but they'd probably need some time to calm down. They'd looked rather heated when he'd seen them.
The song ended, and Jamie had a moment where he was overwhelmed by the fact that people were cheering for him, that people had actually liked it. He grinned as he took a mouthful of water. He hadn't gotten much of a chance to warm up before the show, but that had been the only song they were going to play where it would be overly strenuous on his vocal chords. He only had to do backing vocals in the next song anyway. He searched the crowd for Bella and grinned as he found her in a mosh pit. Ellie and Nate still hadn't returned, but they'd probably need some time to calm down. They'd looked rather heated when he'd seen them.
friday 4th september
club
In her heels, she could see his face almost perfectly. "You're a fucking idiot, Nate, you know that?" She sighed. But she called him an idiot so much, it was hardly an insult any more. "And you don't belong in this century. You belong in some age where women just sat around and looked pretty and needed men to stand up for them," she remarked as she examined the cut better.
"Nah, it's not too bad. You'll still be able to make stories up about it on Monday, though," she teased gently, before taking a step back and sighing. "Now, are you going to at least try and stop fighting my battles for me?" She asked. It was frustrating- he fought the battles she could handle, but could do fuck all about the problems she actually needed help with. Not that it was his fault- she just couldn't transfer an addiction onto her best friend. That was something she had to face alone.
She knew that before long, they'd all end up back on the dancefloor, going mental and having an incredible time. And it was those occasions when coming out with friends was better than coming out alone. But it was when an argument happened or somebody was upset or something that it was better to be alone.
"Nah, it's not too bad. You'll still be able to make stories up about it on Monday, though," she teased gently, before taking a step back and sighing. "Now, are you going to at least try and stop fighting my battles for me?" She asked. It was frustrating- he fought the battles she could handle, but could do fuck all about the problems she actually needed help with. Not that it was his fault- she just couldn't transfer an addiction onto her best friend. That was something she had to face alone.
She knew that before long, they'd all end up back on the dancefloor, going mental and having an incredible time. And it was those occasions when coming out with friends was better than coming out alone. But it was when an argument happened or somebody was upset or something that it was better to be alone.
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Surprised - Chilled- Nervous
※ Listening To: Pink Floyd
※ With: Jamie
When the song ended Bella cheered louder than anyone, she didn't care if she looked a foul she was just so happy for Jamie to see him up there doing his thing and absolutely kicking ass at it. She whistled at the stage and smirked at him a little before her expression collapsed into slight laughter at her own ridiculousness.
A girl in the pit next to her poked her shoulder gently and Bella smiled at her, she was probably couple of years younger than her and appeared to by herself and this girl just grinned at her with cropped black hair and a crooked smile.
"The guy on keyboard keeps noticing you, lucky shit," She uttered to her and Bella laughed gently and beamed back at the girl.
"He's my best friend. He taught me how to play," She laughed and the girl looked surprised and full of disbelief.
"Really? You're bloody awesome," She gasped and Bella just smiled at her.
"Right back a y'," Bella chimed, smiling to herself. She forgot what it was like to be a fan-girl at a concert, the girl next to her had probably never heard Jamie before but in one concert had that ability to appreciate his talent and it made her smile because she forgot what that was like, to hear something new and being envious of anyone who'd gotten close to it. Like when she used to meet people at gigs who'd been to the band's last tour and had VIP passes or whatever, she'd just kind of forgotten what that was like and it was refreshing to be complimented too even if it was by a child who wouldn't ever even know her name. She made a vow to herself right then to make sure she told Jamie about this girl, she kind of figured it'd mean something to him that some one appreciated what he did and his music, so made a mental note of that before she let the thought go.
Friday 4th September 6:30 PM– Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Chilled – Light - Content – Upbeat
※ Listening To: Way Away - Yellowcard
※ With: Ellie
He sighed heavily to himself and closed his eyes, counting seconds in his head till the urge to curse was gone then he looked at Ellie.
"Let's go check Jamie and Bella aren't trying to crowd surf," He suggested with a wary and unconvincing smile. Falling out with Ellie had reminded him of his place, lower than everyone else and it brought a downer on his personality but he'd never properly explained his esteem to Ellie, he didn't want to give her the burden he troubled her enough as it was and it made him feel ungrateful- his life from the outside was picture perfect and it would be on the inside, if he just wasn't so fucking thick Pulling his sleeve over his hand, he dug his finger nails into his palm to keep himself grounded. Maybe he should just get himself another drink and keep going till he couldn't even raise a hand to wave goodbye.
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Surprised - Chilled- Nervous
※ Listening To: Pink Floyd
※ With: Jamie
When the song ended Bella cheered louder than anyone, she didn't care if she looked a foul she was just so happy for Jamie to see him up there doing his thing and absolutely kicking ass at it. She whistled at the stage and smirked at him a little before her expression collapsed into slight laughter at her own ridiculousness.
A girl in the pit next to her poked her shoulder gently and Bella smiled at her, she was probably couple of years younger than her and appeared to by herself and this girl just grinned at her with cropped black hair and a crooked smile.
"The guy on keyboard keeps noticing you, lucky shit," She uttered to her and Bella laughed gently and beamed back at the girl.
"He's my best friend. He taught me how to play," She laughed and the girl looked surprised and full of disbelief.
"Really? You're bloody awesome," She gasped and Bella just smiled at her.
"Right back a y'," Bella chimed, smiling to herself. She forgot what it was like to be a fan-girl at a concert, the girl next to her had probably never heard Jamie before but in one concert had that ability to appreciate his talent and it made her smile because she forgot what that was like, to hear something new and being envious of anyone who'd gotten close to it. Like when she used to meet people at gigs who'd been to the band's last tour and had VIP passes or whatever, she'd just kind of forgotten what that was like and it was refreshing to be complimented too even if it was by a child who wouldn't ever even know her name. She made a vow to herself right then to make sure she told Jamie about this girl, she kind of figured it'd mean something to him that some one appreciated what he did and his music, so made a mental note of that before she let the thought go.
Friday 4th September 6:30 PM– Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Chilled – Light - Content – Upbeat
※ Listening To: Way Away - Yellowcard
※ With: Ellie
He sighed heavily to himself and closed his eyes, counting seconds in his head till the urge to curse was gone then he looked at Ellie.
"Let's go check Jamie and Bella aren't trying to crowd surf," He suggested with a wary and unconvincing smile. Falling out with Ellie had reminded him of his place, lower than everyone else and it brought a downer on his personality but he'd never properly explained his esteem to Ellie, he didn't want to give her the burden he troubled her enough as it was and it made him feel ungrateful- his life from the outside was picture perfect and it would be on the inside, if he just wasn't so fucking thick Pulling his sleeve over his hand, he dug his finger nails into his palm to keep himself grounded. Maybe he should just get himself another drink and keep going till he couldn't even raise a hand to wave goodbye.
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Surprised - Chilled- Nervous
※ Listening To: Pink Floyd
※ With: Jamie
When the song ended Bella cheered louder than anyone, she didn't care if she looked a foul she was just so happy for Jamie to see him up there doing his thing and absolutely kicking ass at it. She whistled at the stage and smirked at him a little before her expression collapsed into slight laughter at her own ridiculousness.
A girl in the pit next to her poked her shoulder gently and Bella smiled at her, she was probably couple of years younger than her and appeared to by herself and this girl just grinned at her with cropped black hair and a crooked smile.
"The guy on keyboard keeps noticing you, lucky shit," She uttered to her and Bella laughed gently and beamed back at the girl.
"He's my best friend. He taught me how to play," She laughed and the girl looked surprised and full of disbelief.
"Really? You're bloody awesome," She gasped and Bella just smiled at her.
"Right back a y'," Bella chimed, smiling to herself. She forgot what it was like to be a fan-girl at a concert, the girl next to her had probably never heard Jamie before but in one concert had that ability to appreciate his talent and it made her smile because she forgot what that was like, to hear something new and being envious of anyone who'd gotten close to it. Like when she used to meet people at gigs who'd been to the band's last tour and had VIP passes or whatever, she'd just kind of forgotten what that was like and it was refreshing to be complimented too even if it was by a child who wouldn't ever even know her name. She made a vow to herself right then to make sure she told Jamie about this girl, she kind of figured it'd mean something to him that some one appreciated what he did and his music, so made a mental note of that before she let the thought go.
Friday 4th September 6:30 PM– Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Chilled – Light - Content – Upbeat
※ Listening To: Way Away - Yellowcard
※ With: Ellie
He sighed heavily to himself and closed his eyes, counting seconds in his head till the urge to curse was gone then he looked at Ellie.
"Let's go check Jamie and Bella aren't trying to crowd surf," He suggested with a wary and unconvincing smile. Falling out with Ellie had reminded him of his place, lower than everyone else and it brought a downer on his personality but he'd never properly explained his esteem to Ellie, he didn't want to give her the burden he troubled her enough as it was and it made him feel ungrateful- his life from the outside was picture perfect and it would be on the inside, if he just wasn't so fucking thick Pulling his sleeve over his hand, he dug his finger nails into his palm to keep himself grounded. Maybe he should just get himself another drink and keep going till he couldn't even raise a hand to wave goodbye.
friday 4th september
club
Jamie wished it would never end. Despite the fact that he'd never played with any of them before, he was still incredibly relaxed. He was home. The singer started chatting to the crowd as the guitarist changed his guitar and played around with his setup.
"Oh, shit, I forgot to introduce somebody," he suddenly declared, provoking a laugh out of the crowd. "Those of you that have been to a few of our shows- all five of you, that is- may have noticed that this isn't our usual keyboardist. I can see some of you girls- and guys, actually- eying him up, so I'll introduce him. This is Jamie, and we owe him big time. He got us out of a tight spot, so everybody, give it up for Jamie!" He declared. The crowd started applauding and cheering, and Jamie grinned, taking a mouthful out of his water.
"Anyway, we've got two songs left to play for you beautiful people. So I want you guys to go absolutely fucking mental for these two songs, okay? And we will too," the singer said as the guitarist gave him a nod.
"Oh, shit, I forgot to introduce somebody," he suddenly declared, provoking a laugh out of the crowd. "Those of you that have been to a few of our shows- all five of you, that is- may have noticed that this isn't our usual keyboardist. I can see some of you girls- and guys, actually- eying him up, so I'll introduce him. This is Jamie, and we owe him big time. He got us out of a tight spot, so everybody, give it up for Jamie!" He declared. The crowd started applauding and cheering, and Jamie grinned, taking a mouthful out of his water.
"Anyway, we've got two songs left to play for you beautiful people. So I want you guys to go absolutely fucking mental for these two songs, okay? And we will too," the singer said as the guitarist gave him a nod.
friday 4th september
club
Nate wasn't in great form, but neither was Ellie. She wasn't backing down, so she just nodded and headed back inside. Of course Bella was practically onstage, and Ellie could almost see the hearts floating above her head. She made her way towards the stage as the singer introduced Jamie. Ellie cheered, but couldn't clap as her arms were held in such a way as to make herself as small as possible as she negotiated the crowd.
Eventually, she got up to Bella. "How's the show?" She yelled. She didn't know if Nate was behind her, but she didn't check. He'd brought it on himself, really. He should have known by that point that she hated being treated like the weaker person. She knew that it was a complex, that it was really just her overcompensating. She could remember how weak she'd felt in her original recovery, and she could remember how much she'd hated it. And how ashamed she was of being seen in her therapist's office. And how ashamed she was every time she had to go in to get her methadone. She hated being weak.
The music was pretty damn good- she'd known Jamie was good, but he hadn't known exactly how good he was. It wasn't quite Queen, but she couldn't deny it was good.
Eventually, she got up to Bella. "How's the show?" She yelled. She didn't know if Nate was behind her, but she didn't check. He'd brought it on himself, really. He should have known by that point that she hated being treated like the weaker person. She knew that it was a complex, that it was really just her overcompensating. She could remember how weak she'd felt in her original recovery, and she could remember how much she'd hated it. And how ashamed she was of being seen in her therapist's office. And how ashamed she was every time she had to go in to get her methadone. She hated being weak.
The music was pretty damn good- she'd known Jamie was good, but he hadn't known exactly how good he was. It wasn't quite Queen, but she couldn't deny it was good.
Friday 4th September – 6:30 PM – Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Surprised - Chilled- Nervous
※ Listening To: Pink Floyd
※ With: Jamie
"You okay?" She asked leaning over so she'd hear her but still having to move around so the crowd didn't crush her, she felt so small compared to everybody else but maybe that was because she was. She was kind of conscious how made weight she'd lost over the summer but she also figured it couldn't be a bad thing but it made her feel far more delicate and flimsy than she liked to admit it.
Friday 4th September 6:30 PM– Club – Outfit
※ Mood: Chilled – Light - Content – Upbeat
※ Listening To: Way Away - Yellowcard
※ With: Ellie
Why couldn't he just ever do the right thing? How could his parents be so intelligent and successful but himself so useless? It just wasn't fair. They didn't even go to his parents evenings anymore or ask about his tests because they knew what to expect and the same went for his social life and just about anything he tried his hand at. He could make cute little trinkets out of metal, fix a car or a bike but he just couldn't fix his own mistakes and he hated that about himself. He really hated it.
He leant on the wall leaning his head back against it and staring up at the darkening sky and the stars peeping through the clouds, everyone he knew had something about them that was sparkling, unique or bright like one of those stars but he couldn't see anything like that about himself- just foolishness.
So he did what everyone expected him to do, he fucked up. He rolled himself a roll-up cigarette and sparked it up, breathing it in deeply and holding the fumes for a moment before slowly exhaling it in well practiced rings. It almost made him laugh, the one thing he was good at wouldn't only kill him one day but would it mean the time damage everybody else too if they got close enough to breathe it in.