Pendley Elizabeth Brown's Story

Pendley struggled to reply, unsure of exactly how to respond to his text. There were so many different cool things about him that it was an effort to try to remember all of the reasons.
You see me for me
She finally sent the text, somewhat satisfied with what she'd said.


"This is my favorite hangout place," he admitted. "It's quiet and beautiful." He let the way up the path towards the entrance and held the door open for her once there. "My mom helped me to learn all the constellations when I was younger. Maybe that's why I love the stars so much."

It's not that he didn't know how to respond, he just got lost in that text. He rolled over onto his side, staring at it, rereading it over and over again, picking out each letter and thinking about it. Imagining her typing the words. Imagining her thinking them. When his screen would dim, he would simply press a button so it would light up again. Selecting options in the text menu, he locked it so he would never lose it.
Ten minutes had to have passed before he finally replied.
good reason

She stared at him for a long while after he said this, lost in her thoughts. It was a while before she snapped out of it and entered the building. She held her hands to her chest and felt her heart hammering underneath her tiny hands. This felt like a dream to her.

Pendley was waiting for a text back when a knock rattled her door. Fear shot through her. Heart racing, she crossed the room and pulled open the door. Her father was standing on the other side, his arms crossed and eyes narrowed.

"It's time for dinner," he said coldly.

"Yes, father," she replied numbly, closing the door and heading straight down the stairs. She could almost feel him breathing down her neck as he followed right after her.


Kade trotted happily through the planetarium, leading the way to the observatory. "You won't be able to see much right now, but I'm sure within the next thirty minutes or so you'll be able to get a clear view of the moon and some stars." He waved his hand towards a massive telescope that peered up through the roof of the building.

When she didn't answer for a while, he got worried. He stood up and began to pace. After he'd done that for a while, he sent her a text.
Hey, did I say something wrong? I'm sorry.

"I want the full Kade experience. What do you do while you wait?" She questioned. She noted to herself that this was the most she'd ever opened up with anyone, but then again, this was the most she'd ever liked anyone. Today was just a day for new beginnings, wasn't it?

The food tasted bland. Her mother and father sat on opposite sides of the table and she sat on the end, quietly eating her food. The ominous presence of her father made the air stale and dry; neither women seemed comfortable, let alone ready to eat something while being watched by such sharp eyes.

Pendley discovered that her silence wasn't appreciated. She crept back up to her room with a new bruise on her jaw and a cut on her lip. Shaking, she curled onto her bed and pulled her phone close.
Dinner. Sorry. Was eating.


"Well normally, I just read a book," Kade admitted. "But for now, I'd just like to sit here and talk to a beautiful girl about anything and everything." He plopped down onto a couch on the far wall and patted the seat next to him, silently asking her to sit.

He'd never opened a text so fast. His heart was racing as he read the words, and a sigh of relief escaped him.
Oh my god. Oh my god, Pendley. I was so worried.

She did so, leaning forward slightly, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. "Beautiful?" She repeated, smiling big. Her eyes crinkled up a little when she smiled, and Kade was the only one who could make them sparkle like they did when he looked at her. Or said things like that.

Pendley was confused by the text.
Worried?

"Well yeah," Kade said with a laugh. "Don't tell me you didn't know," he added, giving her a wink. "With your hair and eyes? Super beautiful."

His heart was still beating furiously.
I thought maybe I'd said something wrong. he was going to add "or you didn't like me anymore", but he didn't even know if she liked him as it was.

She blushed furiously, hugging her knees to her chest and hiding behind it. Her eyes still peeked over the top at him. "Do you say that to every girl?"

While waiting for a response, Pendley put some vascaline on her lip, hoping it would help the healing process.
Her phone beeped. His worry was a little cute. She tried to smile, but her lip stung when she did.
No. Of course not.

Kade's skin tickled. "Only to girls I like," he said with a small smile. He glanced up towards the sky-light, noticing that the moon had come out and the sun was setting. "Want to look through the telescope?"

He started climbing a tree when he got the text, and checked it when he reached a branch at an adequate height. He was breathing very heavily, but he ignored it. He was used to it.

Wanna see something cool?

He likes me. Her heart raced and breath was knocked out of her. How? She was simply insane!
Oh, right. He didn't know everything. Her heart sunk.
She'd tell him tonight. She had to before this progressed.
But... she could enjoy it for a little longer, right?

"Yeah," She said, with a small smile.

Pendley pursed her lips at the text, unsure what to expect.
Sure.


Kade grinned and trotted over to the massive telescope. He opened the shutter and peered into it, positioning it towards the moon. "Here, look through it. The moon looks great right now." He gave her a small smile before stepping aside.

He snapped a picture of the sunset. In the image, you could see the tree branches surrounding him, and a cloak of green leaves on either side, like a curtain peering to the main focus of the image. A large branch protruded from the bottom of the picture, and on it you could see his legs positioned slightly upright. In the center of the picture, the spotlight image, the sun was casting brilliant colors all over the sky. With pink as a base color, it swirled with purples and reds and oranges. And below all of this you could see his yard, freshly cut green grass with a white fence. Behind which lay seemingly endless rolling green pastures.

Included with this picture: It looks like somebody set fire to the sky. Maybe an angel is upset that you're scared
p.s. I wish you were here

She bent down to put her right eye up to the telescope and peer through it. "It looks so close," She whispered. It filled up her eye's entire vision. She could see craters, and the moon fading into black. Surrounding it were tiny stars, some shining brighter than others. She figured that if they were stars in the sky, she'd be a tiny one next to a bright one. Kade.

"Kade..." She said sadly, turning around, intending to spill everything to him. Then she froze, eyes on his face. Through the windows of the observatory, the moonlight and starlight was reflecting off his features. He was glowing, with the innocence of a child but also with incredible amounts of brilliance. He was truly a star in her eyes. An angel.

She couldn't speak.

The picture was magnificent. Pendley stared at the picture, imagining the smell of cut grass and the feel of the wind in her hair as she layed in one of those pastures just staring up at the beautiful sky. God, she wished she could reach up and grasp the branches of the tree, feel the rough bark against her fingertips. But when she rolled over on the bed, her boarded up window revealed nothing but darkness. Frustration and fear and anger turned to tears as she held the phone to her forehead and softly wept, staining the screen with salty droplets. Finally, after a few moments, she pulled the phone back to reply.
If I could be there, I would stay there forever.


Kade watched with a smile as her expression changed at the sight of the moon. He'd felt the very same way when he'd first seem it through the mighty telescope. He opened his mouth to speak, but then she said his name and the words dove back down his throat. It was such a sad voice, one that made his skin feel icy and cold. He observed her quietly, as the observatory did for the sky, just basking in the beauty of her.

"What's up?" he asked a little breathlessly.

He wondered what she was thinking as he watched the sky dive behind the plains. The colors washed away like a melting painting, and the sky began to darken. The moon was beginning to say hello when she replied. He smiled at the text and locked it as well. He never knew when he'd want to reread these messages.
I'd let you. :]

The way his eyes watched him made her feel as if he were prying deep into the recesses of her soul, scavenging for the broken bits and quietly fixing them with bandaids. She felt like she could lie in the glory of his eyes forever, feeling warmth and tranquility wash over her with a simple curl of his lips. She wanted to run her fingertips over his skin and feel the roughness of stubble fade into the smoothness of clean skin. She wanted to cup his cheek, feeling the warmth and life beneath her own form. She wanted to fade into him, to be one with him forever.

But she'd probably be losing him tonight, the same instant that she'd gained him.

"There's something I have to tell you."

He wondered what she was thinking as he watched the sky dive behind the plains. The colors washed away like a melting painting, and the sky began to darken. The moon was beginning to say hello when she replied. He smiled at the text and locked it as well. He never knew when he'd want to reread these messages.
I'd let you. :]

The way his eyes watched her made her feel as if he were prying deep into the recesses of her soul, scavenging for the broken bits and quietly fixing them with bandaids. She felt like she could lie in the glory of his eyes forever, feeling warmth and tranquility wash over her with a simple curl of his lips. She wanted to run her fingertips over his skin and feel the roughness of stubble fade into the smoothness of clean skin. She wanted to cup his cheek, feeling the warmth and life beneath her own form. She wanted to fade into him, to be one with him forever.

But she'd probably be losing him tonight, the same instant that she'd gained him.

"There's something I have to tell you."

Pendley felt lost for words, not that she'd spoken anyway; but Carter was the sun - or the moon - in the dark place of her world and she wanted to appreciate him as much as he appreciated her. And she wanted to see him: badly. But the night was only just coming around and she still had a long night of no sleep before she'd get to see him again.
Why me?


There was a look in her eyes that made Kade worried. He took a step back from the telescope, turning his full attention to her. "Okay," he said gently, tilting his head to the side and waiting for her words.

You see me for me.
It was a simple answer, and he'd repeated it from her, but it fit how he felt perfectly. Once he'd sent it his mom called him in. She let him stay out there however long he wanted, bless her, but she always grew worried once it became too dark. She climbed down obediently from the tree, eyes locked on his phone screen.

"There's no easy way to say this. I'm insane," She began. She couldn't look at his face, fearful of the resentment she was sure she'd see. "I'm absolutely bonkers. Medically, I have Schizophrenia, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, and Bulimia..." She trailed off. It sounded like so much more when she said it out loud. "I. Um. I see figures. They follow me around. They talk to me..." She took a deep breath. "If I'm going to tell you this, I'm telling you everything. I've never told anyone before. I was raped." Her eyes fell to the ground. "I was young. Nine. It was my dad..." She took a deep breath in. "He didn't stop after just one time. He didn't stop until he committed suicide. Everything just kind of followed suit. The figures are really tall, depending on the room they can be seven to ten feet tall, I'd say. They're really thin and mangled looking. They're bent at awkward, unnatural angles. Sometimes they smile. They're everywhere I go. They say things he said while he raped me. 'Just enjoy it. Relax. It won't hurt.' Things like that.

It doesn't stop unless I cut. Plus, I cut because I like it. It helps me release the pain." Without looking at him, she pulled down just one of her sleeves. The fresh cuts were a bright red. At least 200 other cuts lined her arm, vertical and horizontal. "They're on both arms, both legs, my stomach, and thighs. I've tried to kill myself multiple times. It's failed each time, obviously."

She finally looked at him. "I am insane and not worth your time. I'm not worth it."

The fact that he used her words to respond gave her shivers. Pendley pressed the phone to her forehead as she forcibly calmed herself.
I like that.


Kade listened quietly, his face unreadable. He waited until she was completely finished before he even considered talking. Eyes locking on hers, he stepped closer to her, then dropped down onto both knees and looked up at her from where he kneeled. "When I was this small," he began, "my parents put me up for adoption because they didn't want me. I was diagnosed with depression. I hated myself, thought I wasn't good enough. I didn't want to be a part of this world anymore."

Then he stood, now looking down to meet her gaze. "Now I'm this tall. I'm not depressed and I don't have myself." He lightly grasped her hand, feeling the smoothness of her skin in his. "I know what it's like to be lost. And I know what it's like when you feel like you're so messed up that nobody wants you anymore." He paused, cupping her cheek with one hand, his thumb stroking the side of her face. "And because of that, I'll help you to grow, just like I did, until you can love yourself again." He gave her a gentle smile. "Okay?"

His mom made a joke about how his eyes were locked on his phone when he walked past her. "I'm talking to someone," He said in a distracted tone. He heard his mom cracking up behind him when he disappeared into the hallway. He knew she was simply overjoyed that he found someone to be this involved in.
It's late, little rabbit. Are you tired?

She leaned her face against his hand, pressing up more against the warmth. It was simply the best feeling she'd ever experienced. Tears sparkled in her eyes, reflected by the moon when she locked her gaze with him. "Also, when I'm with you, they disappear," She whispered.

Pendley rolled over in bed, scribbling away at her drawing pad, enjoying the picture of Carter she'd created.
A bit. You?

Kade smiled. "I'm glad," he replied in an equally quiet voice. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before stepping back, not wanting to physically overwhelm her. "How about I take you home?" he said with a smile. "It's getting late and you need to eat dinner and finish your homework just like I do."