Pacifica Concordia Attaway


GENERAL INFORMATION
Role: The shattered one
Nickname(s)/Alias(es): Pacifica, Deirdre, Azar, Caoimhe
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Love Interest: N/A

APPEARANCE
Height: 5’7”
Weight: 120 IBs
Build: Average
Eye Color: pale blue
Hair Color: platinum blonde
Scars/Tattoos/Piercings: Although Pacifica has no piercings or tattoos, there is no shortage of scars on her. However, most are across her back and stomach. There are some on her arms and legs, but nearly none on her face. Some of the scars are light and almost transpoarent, but many protrude out of the skin in a bubble like manner. In some places, appears as though she has been beaten and the scars still remain. In others, she seems to have been cut or whipped. Her scars tell many stories of a lamenting past.
Description: Pacifica is average weight and slightly above average height. She has long, flowing hair that isn’t well-kept. Typically, she looks as though she has not brushed her hair in many days even though she brushes it on a daily basis. The problem is Pacifica is blind. Although Pacifica holds her back straight, she keeps her arms and legs together at all times as if to shield herself from everyone else. She usually carries a blank expression on her face. It is rare for her to show extreme emotions. However, Pacifica always seems nervous. Also, she usually has thick black circles under her eyes.

However, Pacifica has three other personalities and if they are who she wakes up as, she will dress differently. In fact, she may be capable of seeing, depending on who she is.

Deirdre is much like Pacifica in the way she carries herself. The main differences are that Deirdre doesn’t even attempt to brush her hair, she slouches and she always has a sad, lonely expression on her face. A depressing aura surrounds this personality. Much like Pacifica, Deirdre is blind. She also has black circles under her eyes as well as puffy eyes.

Azar holds herself high. She doesn’t try to keep herself away from everyone or hide. She always keeps her hair up. Her body language is often aggressive. When it comes to typical expressions, Azar shows mainly rage or cockiness. Her fists are often clinched tightly. Azar has full eyesight. Azar does not have dark cirlces under her eyes.

Caoimhe always wears her hair very neatly. She looks at everyone as equals and therefore does not seem reserved or aggressive with her body language. She is more compassionate. She can be energetic, depending on the scenario. Typically, she is relaxed and happy. Caoimhe is the most beautiful when it comes to appearances. Caoimhe can see just as well as Azar. She also does not have circles under her eyes.


When Azar is active, they all become very red and sunburned. When the others are active, They all appear very pale.

Preferred Clothing: Pacifica and Deidre can’t see, but they do their best to dress in things that fully cover their skin. Pacifica is more likely to dress in things that fit than Deidre though… Deirdre mainly dresses in clothes that are ten times too big for her to conceal herself. When it comes to colors, neither Pacifica or Deirdre can see the colors. So, their clothes tend to clash in color and never seem to match at all.

Azar tends to show the most skin of any personality. She’s not afraid to show herself. She also tends to dress in form-fitting outfits. She likes to wear bright reds and other warm colors. Usually, her color choices are a little too bright and make her stick out.


Nice, flowing clothes fit Caoimhe. She tends to wear colors that match too. For the most part, Caoimhe wears cool colors though. When it comes to how tight or loose the clothes are, Caoimhe tends to stay in the middle of things. She doesn’t like clothes that don’t fit.



MENTALITY
Oddities: Pacifica tends to fidget. She is also extremely clumsy, but she also cannot see what she’s doing to be graceful. When she begins to feel an emotion other than nervousness, she switches personalities.


Deirdre curls up into a ball and hides in corners. She tends to rock back and forth as well as fiddle with her unkempt hair. Another habbit she has is to bite on her nails.


Clenching her fist is the main oddity of Azar. She always seems tense as though she’s going to blow, so her muscles are almost never relaxed.


Unlike the others, Caoimhe doesn’t have an oddity when she is awake. While asleep, she almost always sleep walks.


Skills: Pacifica and Deirdre aren’t good at anything. However, Azar is talented at dancing and fighting. She’s always angry or on the verge of anger, so she’s used to putting up a good fight. Caoimhe is good at singing and helping others as well as drawing. Caoimhe is the most talented personality.

Fears/Phobias:
Pacifica has Ligyrophobia(the fear of loud noises), Aphenphosmphobia(The fear of being touched), Necrophobia(The fear of death or dead things) and Anthropophobia(the fear of people and society).

Deirdre has Pantophobia(the fear of everything).

Azar is afraid of dying or disappearing.

Caoimhe is afraid of Azar and Pacifica’s parents.

Likes: Everyone in Pacifica is as different as can be when it comes to likes, just as it is with everything else. Videogames, tv, books and animals are Pacifica’s passion. She does anything she can to avoid real life and these are a few of her outlets.

Deirdre loves ghosts and spirits. She tends to talk to them in her sad little corner. Whether other people believe in them or not, she doesn’t care. She finds that some ghosts understand her more than people… Some scare her, but she doesn’t seem to care. This is the opposite to Pacifica who is afraid of anything to do with death.

Azar likes metal music, dancing and winning. She can’t turn down competition and she always want to win when she’s in one. She’s a poor sport if she doesn’t win.

Caoimhe enjoys many things. She likes music, singing, animals, reading, mythology, religeon and meeting new people.
Dislikes: Pacifica dislikes pain, sorrow and most emotions. She also doesn’t like death or anything related. As such, she dislikes religion and anything that deals with what could happen after death.

Deirdre hates happiness. She is sick of suffering all the time and watching other people smile when she had to go through so much pain herself. While she doesn’t get mad about it, it only seems to feed her sorrows. Deirdre only likes music with melancholy lyrics and dislikes anything that sounds happy. She also dislikes people and fears them greatly.

Azar dislikes passiveness. When one is passive, Azar acts even more aggressive towards them. Soft music also tends to make Azar uneasy. Another thing that gets to Azar is peace. Peace puts her on edge and she simple cannot sit still.

Caoimhe cannot stand bullies. As such, she doesn’t get along well with Azar. She also dislikes most physical activities. She’s the last person one could expect to participate in a sport.
Hobbies: Pacifica mainly reads and plays video games.

Deirdre only enjoys talking to spirits who may or may not be there. She strongly believes that they are. She also tends to cry a lot.

Azar’s main hobby is dancing and fighting punching bags. She may even yell at them as she attacks the lifeless sacks.

Caoimhe enjoys studying mythology and various religions(particularly Druids). She also enjoys singing and drawing.


Personality: Pacifica is a lonely girl. She doesn’t try to interact with people, so she tends to stay silent. She only speaks when spoken to. She is also very nervous and never much of anything else. Pacifica doesn’t get happy, sad, angry, excited or anything else. From time to time she might feel a sliver of emotion, but for the most part she is just nervous.

In her spare time, Pacifica does anything she can to avoid reality. She plays videogames, watches TV(Be it shows, movies or whatever) and reads. However, if a character dies she typically reverts to another personality. Pacifica cannot handle the idea of death.

Unlike her other personalities, Pacifica doesn’t know about her alter egos. Her other selves don’t know they share one body, but they do know of each other. When Pacifica, the main persona, is active they are usually interacting with each other.

Another thing that differentiates Pacifica from her other selves is that she looks up to her parents. She doesn’t know about what they have done to her, for she created them to keep herself from getting hurt. However, this was sub-conscious. Pacifica knows nothing is wrong with her aside from blackouts and memory loss.

Mentally, Pacifica is 18. She can account for almost every year of her life. She wasn’t in control of herself for a year once, but she quickly caught on to the fact that she had aged a year.

Not being able to see, Pacifica is unable to tell what she looks like.

Although Pacifica does not know of the others, she always feels as though she’s missing something or something is wrong. Her main clues are the gaps in her memory and black outs.

Pacifica doesn’t eat much because she is often too nervous to eat anything. This is something she has in common with Deirdre.


The one who absorbs all the abuse is Deirdre. Deirdre is the youngest of the personas. Her mental age is 8. Although her personality is only one moth younger than Pacifica’s, she is unaware of many years that have passed. She only knows that she is 8. She also doesn’t have a mental appearance due to blindness.

Deirdre is a lonely girl. She feels as though ghosts are the only ones who could possibly understand the torment she feels. Deirdre feel worthless, useless and as though she needs to disappear. Her main goal is to die.

Although Caoimhe does her best to comfort Deirdre, Deirdre doesn’t like it. Instead, she rebels and feels as though Caoimhe is trying to hurt her as everyone else has.

Deidre fears everything. Even the spirits she takes comfort in she tends to shudder away in fear from time to time. Deirdre is afraid to see, so she does not see. She is afraid of light and afraid of dark. Deirdre is terrified of being touched, falling, being around people and even herself. The thing that scares her the least is death, even though she is afraid of that too. This is why she longs so desperately to die.

Of the personalities, Deirdre is the second most active. Through time, she is becoming more and more active. The horrors that forces Pacifica to create alternate people within herself are continuing on and on. As Deirdre is the one who is active during times of abuse, she is becoming more and more active. Through that, she is becoming stronger and stronger. Soon, she may take over. If this happens, Pacifica and all the other personalities will cease to exist for soon Deirdre will succeed in finding death.

Along with fearing everything, Deidre also hates nearly everything.


Azar is 15. She’s the persona who holds all Pacifica’s rage and dancing talent with her. For the most part, Azar is the one with all the pashion and fire. She can’t stand to sit still and not do anything. When she is in control, something interesting always happens. Whether it is interesting in a good way or a bad way… Well, usually it’s a bad way.

Of the personalities, Azar is the most fearless and probably the least active. The only thing Azar fears is death or disappearing, but she pretends even that is nothing to fret about. Instead of showing fear, she becomes more feisty and cocky. This is to cover her true feelings.

Aside from hiding her fears, Azar is not afraid to speak her mind. She says how she feels bluntly and honestly.

When it comes to other personalities, Azar doesn’t like any of the others. She views Pacifica and Deirdre as a wimp and she bullies Deirdre often. She dislikes Caoimhe because she stands up for other people. Azar feels that Caoimhe should mind her own business and let other people take care of themselves.

Even though Azar may not like the others, she cares. One might not ever guess it, but even when she picks on Deirdre, she does it for everyone as a whole.Unfortunately, she’s not very good at showing affection.

When Azar looks in the mirror, she sees someone far different than what is really being reflected. She sees a dark brown haired girl with brown eyes, very tan and many muscles.

Of the persona’s, Caoimhe is the only one the same age as Pacifica. She also is the only one who knows everything about each personality(Except the fact that they all share a body and were created as a last resort for Pacifica to get by.)Caoimhe does everything she can to help Pacifica and Deirdre, even though Pacifica doesn’t know about her and Deirdre refuses her help. Caoimhe does everything she can to prevent Deirdre from committing suicide and usually takes over whenever there is an attempt, but with Deirdre becoming stronger Caoimhe knows she can’t do it forever. Azar is the only one Pacifica doesn’t like.


Caoimhe spends most of her time singing or playing with animals. She is also the most creative personality. Along with the creativity, Caoimhe is also very kind. She is almost the exact opposite of Azar. She likes peace and relation and she is fully capable of showing others that she cares. The only one she can’t show that she cares is Pacifica, but she does everything she can for her anyway.

Animals are easy for Caoimhe to get along with. She spends a lot of time around them, doing what she can to help them.

Unlike Azar, the physical image Caoimhe sees is almost like what would reflect in the mirror. The main difference is that Caoimhe sees someone a little shorter.
HISTORY
Relationship Status: Single
Family: Rebecca Acantha Zegher-Mother:
Not a strong minded or willed person, Rebecca always fallowed what other people did. What other people told her to do, she would do. She had no morals to keep her from doing the bad and she fallowed no rules. At 16, she put herself under the influence of a reckless man. He was about 21 years old. His name was Culhwch Traverse. Culhwch was cruel to his girlfriend and treated her much like an object. He told Rebecca it was love. Of course, she believed everything that was said to her and she knew he loved her.

Rebecca conceived Pacifica before she was married. Culhwch skipped town when word of Rebecca being pregnant got around.

A man in town heard of the troubles and offered to help Rebecca. Absalom Kake Attaway would marry Rebecca and claim the child to be his own. He was 17. Relieved, Rebecca accepted his offer and got her parents to agree to it as well.

Living with a 17 year old on her own was very difficult. For many years she and her husband were poor and he influenced her to do many horrifying things to Pacifica.


Absolum Kake Attaway- Father:
From birth, Absolum was raised in a religious fanatical family. He was a Christian fanatic. However, he was raised on principles that were stretched from the bible so far that they no longer had anything to do with it. He was raised to hate anyone who did not believe or live the way his family did and to be extremely strict in every way.

It has been suggested that Absolum has paranoid type schizophrenia, but he never believed anyone and his family believed medication to be evil and would never take it.

When Absolum turned 17, his family told him that he must find a wife before the next year. His family told him he must recue a woman from her sin. What they meant by that was to marry a woman who had become pregnant before marriage. To them, that was a mortal sin. To them, the only way to save a person from that would be to marry into the radical religion of theirs. So, Absolum did as he was told. He was to become the next head of the church and he was going to do everything the church told him to do.

Although he is not truly Pacifica’s father, he never told a soul that he wasn’t. He claims Pacifica to be his biological daughter in every way.

However, since Pacifica wasn’t his real daughter, he despised her. He wanted her to feel as much pain as anyone could possibly feel in a lifetime. On top of that, she was not conceived in marriage. To him, that made her an evil child.
Personal History/Background: (STILL WIP) Throughout Pacifica’s life, she has had to undergo more tortures than most people ever will. Her mother and father would abuse her in every way plausible. The tortures would include beatings, forcing the poor girl to repeat how worthless she is one hundred times out loud every morning, being locked up for days without food or water, blind folding her for weeks to purify her sight from something Absolum thinks she should not have seen and, of course, far, far worse. The abuse started when she was an infant. Of course, when she was that young they made sure not to be rough enough to kill her. But even as an infant the tortures were too much for her to bear. Her first split personality, Deirdre, came when she was an infant.

At home, Pacifica wasn’t permitted to show anger. That was a mortal sin to Absalom. So, to store her anger, Pacifica created Azar. Azar could show all the anger she wanted without Pacifica getting hurt.

Caoimhe was created when Pacifica lost all hope for happiness. Caoimhe was also created to store Pacifica’s creativity since her father also viewed creativity as sinful. Caoimhe was Pacifica’s last hope.

Of course, Pacifica had no idea that she had subconsciously created these other people and these other people don’t know they share a body with Pacifica. However, they were the only way for her to survive.

Pacifica never went to school. Absalom wouldn’t allow a child he called his own to be forced to endure the horrible sins of the other children. So, she was home schooled. Pacifica had no way out.

The reason Pacifica is average weight instead of super skinny is when Absalom and Rebecca are not locking their daughter up, they force her to eat a lot. They want her to appear healthy for church.
WHAT THEY HIDE
The Problem: Pacifica has undiagnosed Dissociative Identity Disorder. When she can’t see anyone about her problems, it is impossible to have such a thing diagnosed even if it is obvious or severe. Pacifica has many problems and she feels she has no way out. She, the main personality, is about disappear. Without her, Deirdre takes over and she will eventually kill them all. Although Azar wouldn’t agree if one said it, they have no way out. They are stuck in that home with Absalom and Rebecca who will torture them until they die. If they tried to escape, the pain they would have to endure would be unimaginable.

When meeting other people, it isn’t always apparent something it wrong. If Pacifica or Deirdre are in control, it is most apparent there is something wrong with her. If Azar is in control, it merely seems as though someone needs anger management. When Caoimhe is out, it seems as though she’s normal. However, this can very much effect how they communicate with people.

OTHER: N/A