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Ashara Ashok
They had just arrived two weeks ago on Ceru V. Before the Sith and Jedi had started the war against the Grey Order, there were roughly 10,000 Jedi, 6,000 Sith and 150 Grey Knights. Now the Grey Order is down to three knights and nine apprentices of which three are from neighboring worlds in this new galaxy. However the losses on the side of the Jedi and the Sith weren't exactly small. The Jedi lost nearly 1,000 and the Sith around 400. This was due to the fact that mostly tacticians and veteran force sensitives found their way to the Grey Order. Sadly, they are all gone because of the zeal of the Jedi and the Sith.
On Ceru V, the exterior of the new temple/academy was done and the droids were now working on the interior. New construction on the Ceruan embassy had just begun. It was a house intended for a Ceruan ambassador and two coworkers. More weren't needed for such a small settlement. But thanks to the order, the Ceruans were well on their way to making spacefaring transport ships of comparably primitive technology, mostly to explore their own system and eventually transport colonists to the habitable planets.
Otherwise there were twenty six people in the settlement. A dozen of the order, a dozen Ceruan farmers and two Sebuan traders. The droids did most of the construction, mining and upgrades to the infrastructure of the settlement.
Meanwhile, Ashara was meditating in the main room of the temple. The work of the droids was barely audible. Ashara could sense the others on the island and felt the force from their home galaxy radiate very weakly in the far distance. Otherwise, she only felt the force sensitivity of certain force sensitive animals on the island. She tried to maintain her balance in the force but her memories reminded her of her dark past, the people she killed as a Sith and the people she killed in defense during the war. They were too many for her comfort. She could swear that it was just as many Jedi as Sith, probably a couple dozen young fighters and two masters. She came out of her meditative state as it was going too deep in the past. However for a knight to understand the pain of unnecessarily deaths of both people on the light side and the dark side was key to maintaining their own balance in the force. Utilizing this made them stronger. Failure to understand made the balance unstable and made knights more prone to falling to a side.
Ashara stood up and left the temple to get some fresh air outside. She watched as the people in the settlement went about their daily lives. The traders were waiting for ore to ship to their homeworld. The ceruite ore as it was called, was valuable to the Sebuans for technology. The Sebuans and Ceruans found it easy to learn Basic and it seemed to resemble their own languages a bit which might point to that Basic may have made its way to this galaxy a long, long time ago.
Ashara waited for her apprentices to arrive for their training. Today's lesson would be force control, which would be about being able to use the force in various strengths. That would be followed by some fighting training with wooden lightsabers.
“Oh come on, it can't be that hard...”
Rholdun's head turned around to give Phora a soulless droidic gaze that seemed to surprise her. He knew she was right, he was broken, he almost lost his connection to the Force. He felt like only half the man he was earlier. He didn't remember why he even chose to store his soul in a datacron instead of just letting go of life and being one with the Force. Maybe it was fear or maybe something else. He pushed himself to another try of levitating the stone and with lots of effort, he lifted it maybe an inch above the ground.
Phora was sarcastic, and maybe slightly too mean, but she wondered if showing him kindness would really help or just end up as another thing that hinders him. She understood his situation perfectly, long ago she's been in such situation as well, when she was among Jedi. Phora shook her head slowly, jumped of the rock, and walked to him.
“ I'm not good at this kind of thing but, I know it's hard...” She paused for a moment.
“ Either you lift it with emotions,which is weak or you look deep into yourself, search for this simple rock, once you find it try to grab it and imagine lifting it with your hand...I'm not sure if it helps but try, kay?”
“I'm trying this the whole time,” he replied. “Why did you choose to be only an apprentice, I wonder? It would be easy for you to teach others. At least I think you would be good at it.”
Rholdun without noticing it lifted the stone higher.
Phora noticed stone going higher, she kept him busy just to see whether it helps him to be distracted, like once long ago. Phora still blushed slightly at the complement, something she rarely got these days.
“I...dislike teaching and you know it, why would you ask anyway?”
The stone stayed at the height of the man's head, slightly moving up and down from time to time.
“Well, it seems you actually like talking to people, or am I wrong? At least for a former Sith you seem really talkative towards me.”
His question caught her off-guard, she stayed with open mouth for few seconds, stone still in air.
“I actually rarely talk to people, if you ask any student, I'm cold and unsympathetic in their opinion, to you I'm...I understand your situation, that's all.”
“Shall I call you my best fiend then?” he asked, still distracted from his task.
“Sure, fiend fits well” She chuckled.
“After all I did manage to teach you something and distract you perfectly” She smilled wickedly.
Rholdun turned towards the stone in surprise. The rock with a loud crush landed on the ground. The former Jedi didn't realize that all this time rock-lifting was his doing.
“Actually, I've heard that Ashara wanted new apprentices to arrive on her lesson. Guess you ought be going.”
She forgot, even though that's why they were meant to meet here earlier.
'Umm, you're right, I'll be going then...” Phora turned around and started running as fast as she could.
Rholdun seemed amused with her reaction. He made his way towards his chamber to oil his joints to make them move smoothly before he starts his own private training with the lightsaber. He asked himself also why didn't she tell him the reason she became an apprentice.
OOC – So as I said, this post we made together, and I hope it's alright – Zaria
P.S – While Ark will stay silent, forever...ah that robotic voice...
Aurora then showed up saying she was prepared for her training. In the distance, Phora could be seen running towards them. Once Phora was close enough, Ashara said: "Since you both are here, we can commence the training. Today's first lesson is force control. It means that you need to be able to use the force with different strength because if you reach for your saber and use too much power, you could turn your saber into a deadly projectile or hurt yourself. Same goes for force grip. You can use it to grab onto an ally to save their life but if you use too much power, you might crush them midair. The force can be used in many ways and not always for good. Especially force sensitive masters can use the force to tear people apart or use the force as if it was a blade. I had to use it to break free from a prison chamber when I was a sith. The force is the only thing you have after you are captured."
"But anyways, your training will be to hurl these rocks out into the sea at different distances. The rocks don't weigh more than large fruit so lifting them should be no problem. Let me demonstrate." Ashara said. She lifted a rock with the force and threw it about 30 feet (10 meters). "Now if I put my strongest into it." She picked up another rock and launched it at great speed. It was powerful enough that it caused a trail of dust as it went into the sky. "Okay I probably overdid it. I don't want to cause more meteorites."
"Now. It is your turn. I would say aim for the riffs down there, then twice that distance and then five times the distance and practice until it either becomes easier or until I tell you to stop. In the meanwhile, I will be making more rocks, so that you eventually have some if you decide to practice in your free time."
Rocks should be easy – she thought to herself as she lifted one. Aiming at riffs, rock flew.
Good, now twice as far – She thought and repeated action from before, rock this time went slightly too far.
Rusty, now five times – She thought and failed, her rock flew six times farther, while intented distance was five. Phora repeated it few more times before yelling loudly after her eight fail.
“Again slightly too far! Why can't it be perfect!”
Rholdun watched the apprentices training from a distance, taking a short break from swinging the lightsaber. Surprisingly, he still was good at it, way better than with Force-using. The apprentices did fine as well, at least that was what he was thinking, until the outraged scream of Phora reached his ears. That wasn't what he was expecting while watching the “younglings”.
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She had a hard time trusting the automated constructors; machinery makes mistakes that sentient species do not. Fortunately, the droids seemed to have built nothing other than some blaster-proofed walls. It looked to be preparing for base-mounted hyper-blasters.
Running a mental check-list, Fang realized that there was no alarm system, neither in the code nor in the flesh. A mistake like that could have killed every one of them.
At the cost of her deep distrust of machines, she learned very little about its exact operations. She needed to find someome who could "talk" to the machines.
There was something about Rholdun that put Fang in a comforable place. He was a machine without all the dumb-ness of other computers.
"Rholdun," Fang said, "Do you have time to look over something with me?"
"Of course, Fang, what can I help you with?" he asked, yet wasn't sure if he really could help her with anything.
The two former Jedi never were too close to each other, so the man was surprised to be asked about help. He didn't even expect what kind of help he could perform for the Togruta. He only agreed because he always was the helper-type, even if he actually wasn't good at the subject.
Phora still angry, noticed Fang and Rholdun talking, Fang's facial expression for some reason angered her, but there was something else that angered Phora. Without thinking clearly she lifted nearby rock and threw it in between the two, while walking towards them.
Rholdun was extremely surprised when a rockshard landed between him and Fang. He looked up to see Phora walking towards them.
“Did I do something wrong or is there another reason you're trying to kill me with a boulder, Quro?” he asked his best fiend.
“Mainly I'm just pissed off, and something in her fuels my anger right now...” Quro replied, glancing at fang.
“Happy me, it's not my fault this time, best fiend” answered Rholdun sarcasticly.
“Oh really? Shut up red face” Phora replied, smilling weakly, her anger slightly weaker.
“Did you just call me red-face?”
“Yes, want me to continue?” Phora smilled wickedly.
“Go for it, horn-sucker.”
Phora opened mouth to reply, but nothing came to her mind.
“Alright, I don't know how to counter that...”
“I might have overdone it... I'm sorry, Phora” Rholdun seemed a bit embarrased.
“I don't mind, it calmed me a little, though I can't believe you're really that embarrased...” Phora said, almost wanting to chuckle.
“Maybe it's because I'm a person, not a droid? And I really overdid it, so I'm sorry. We know each other for so long, I think you know what kind of person I am, Quro.”
“Well, you're a perfect pile of scrap metal my friend”
“Please, stop, you make me blush – I would say that if I weren't a pile of scrap metal.” Rholdun made a weird noise that sounded like laughter, Phora laughed with him.
Ashara demonstrated throwing on point. "Just focus and don't let your emotions take over." She said. She saw Fang and went over to him. "Did you sleep well? I am training the apprentices in force control since it is vital in using the force for telekinesis. Who knows what can go wrong if you cannot control your use of the force."
She turned to the apprentices. "Imagine. The force is less something that is used or manipulated and it isn't something you can become a part of. It has been a part of you from the beginning. It is an extension of yourself. This is something the Jedi and the Sith didn't understand. The Sith saw the force as a tool while the Jedi saw it as a next step in existence." She said. "If you understand that, you can even withstand a thought bomb. Let me demonstrate what the potential of the force is."
She took a boulder and lifted it with the force telekinesis. While one hand held it up, she made a slashing movement with her other hand. The boulder split clean across as if a lightsaber had cut it. With a punching move, she punched a hole that you could look through in one of the halves. She then set the boulder down. "Many Jedi and Sith never thought of utilizing the force in such a way. This is the power of balance. Those who seek to abuse the force will likely not be able to manage such feats as they can only use the force in a particular way." She explained.
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"I complained when we had to use droids to dig down," Fang said, "when we should be building with the Force, like in the old days. It's good practice. Now I'm not surprised that the constructors are malfunctioning. We're too lazy. But since we're set on using them, we need to keep the constructors in line."
Phora blinked few times, stunned by his reply.
“M-me? Fine, I do understand most machines, mostly thanks to places I've been to in the past...” She muttered.
“ Um, I mean...wouldn't it be better to ask Thrask? He's way more flexible when it comes to machines and engineering, I'm rusty to say the least, and Flania...Flania is not here.” Phora became immedietly sad with last words spoken.
Phora remembered at the last moment, sadness faded away for a short moment. She looked at Ashara.
“You may be right, but controlling emotions is not as easy as you try to portray it, imagine that emotions are a main part of you, just like you say that we are part of the Force, then controlling something that shows you something is hard...for example Fang angered me, and now I know why, she seems to see Rholdun just as machine, though that are simply my thoughts.” Phora surprisingly calmer than usual, felt like she had learned something out of this annoying training and encounter.
OOC – Apply cold water to burned area, too tempting but really now it kinda seems like someone isn't reading posts of others fully or it is simply so much in character it's too hard to tell - Zaria, Ark.
"True that you must have self-descipline to control emotions, but as they say: Practice makes perfect. Emotions tend to corrupt the ability of using the force, like the Sith use anger and hate while the Jedi use pride and self-satisfaction. But I would say many Jedi are guilty of hubris. But enough dwelling in that. Back to training. You will get a break after todays first lesson and before saber training." Ashara said.
"Also I overheard your conversation about the constructors. We are using them to accelerate our reestablishment. Who knows how long it could be until Jedi or Sith agents find their way here. Plus most of the temple was built using the force. The constructors are only wiring the interior and otherwise improving the infrastructure and mining. If you have any ideas on how we can improve then let me know."
Hearing this Phora couldn't avoid being angry again since half of Ashara's reply was so Black&White in her opinion.
“Oh really? Jedi and Sith are all bad? Am I to understand you are better with your jumping at 'em, just like they do it? So far what you say is way too black and white, nothing's like that...” Phora's hand clenched into a fist.
Anger in her eyes, yet in control she was, she sighed, fist was no more.
“My master wasn't like what you say...prideful...he was not, one of few people I cared for he was, but you sound just like people you describe, I'm too angry to continue so I'll leave now before killing anyone in anger, I need rest if that's not clear enough...” She angrily turned around, and wanted to leave as quickly as possible.
“I'm not sure if this is a way a Grey Knight should behave. And I mean both of you. Yes, master, you seem to extraordinarily dislike other Force-users, especially Jedi. And you seem to forget that both me and Fang were Jedi. And I'm thinking that Phora was a Jedi as well” said Rholdun, trying to grab Phora's wrist to stop her. “If you need a training dummy, you can use me, Quro.”
He managed to grab her, she stoped yet refused to face him.
“It's hard to choke you Rholdun, and I don't want to break your circuits, I'm simply tired of seeing the same thing...”
“Then shall I carry you to your chambers, my lady?” asked the man fancily, bowing himself towards Phora.
Phora chuckled.
“What are you, trying to lie on me?”
She sighed once more.
“Master, can I leave?”
With a nagging stone her tiredness grew and grew as slowly irritating that she did not go out. In the end, their determination begins to set irritation. What can be seen on her face as it is getting harder to throw rocks. At some point, she was not even able to throw up, but rather from the growing anger that appeared when she thought about her past.
The more time passed, the more tired she was and annoyed because of them, still wasting time. At some point she began to think of her past, and boulders ended up flying to random places, luckily all missing bickerring ones, all hit water down there, where the first line was set. She stood in silence for a while, without throwing anything but simply looking at the sea.
Aurora looks at the master with his long-lasting eyes and asks, stopping throwing stones. Can I relax now? I do not feel best
"And I admit that I am not perfect and can be selfish at times. But I have come a long way. When I was a Sith lord, you wouldn't have recognized me. I have done many bad things in my past and gained infamy for that. My atonement is to perserve the balance and prevent unnecessary anguish in the universe." Ashara said and then sighed. She could feel her inner balance become somewhat disrupted by sadness that was created through her own reminder of the past. The countless people she killed even other Sith she betrayed.
"Apprentices. You can go on break. I have to sit down and gather myself." Ashara said while sitting down in the grass resting her face in her hands.
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Fang was about to ask where Thrask was when Ashara arrived.
"Ashara, I can't speak to the components, so it's a little difficult to give new orders to the machinery. But I know enough to know that there's a critical failure in the alarm system. I couldn't even find a suitable datacube in the library to compensate; we'd need a real engineer to fashion a system I can trust. You know the human resources more than I. Is there anyone you recommend this task? A local perhaps? I don't want to die in my sleep because we didn't have any early warning bells.
"Also, I think I should dig the caverns deeper. I'm picturing a labyrinth that leads to an escape hatch a safe distance from our main entrance. I have to keep my Force-wielding sharp. Carving stone into pleasing (but functional) shapes is likely to be good practice. I'm quite good at creating and navigating mazes, and I would love the opportunity to create one in three-dimensions."
The cowardice that kept that Grey Knight alive against the combined might of Jedi and Sith was, in this way, turned to her own advantage. The trick to being rational and paranoid is to have a reason to be paranoid.
After which she sighs hard and begins to relax slowly. She closes her eyes and tries to think about nice things in order to settle down and cope with irritation and a sense of failure after training. After a long moment you can see calm and even happiness on her face.
“Rholdun, for how long are you going to hold me?”
Rholdun let go of Phora, then turned back to face Ashara.
“I could possibly help you with training them with the lightsabers. But later. I feel like I should meditate on the subject we just discussed.”
The man went toward a single rock, not destroyed during the training, climbed on it and sat down on top.
Phora glanced before trying to leave once more, and stopped again.
“Stop it, copy cat...” She said, looking at Rholdun.
“Huh?” Rholdun seemed surprised, not understanding what Phora meant.
“You...I see, nevermind then.” Phora turned and slowly left towards her favourite place, near waterfall.
“I'll be where I usually am, if anyone needs me...”
No. She couldn't resort to that. She couldn't just leave her friends, allies and apprentices among the remnants of the Grey Knights behind. Her thoughts were racing. She knew she could never atone for what she had done as a Sith. And if she would forsake the grey knights, it would be even worse. The once rational and balanced Ashara Ashok was an emotional wreck. She didn't know what to do. If exiled herself, the grey knights might fall apart easier. If she stayed and eventually fell to the dark side, she might cause the demise of the grey knights herself. She took out her lightsaber. Usually the color of the lightsaber would determine the current alignment of the user, but only if it was a Adegan crystal. Her's was pontite, a rare crystal she had found by coincidence during her Sith years.
She turned on her lightsaber. Upon seeing the color not being near ultraviolet anymore, she needed to take precautionary measures.
She called for all grey knights to come to the temple for an announcement.
OOC: Sorry I had to do this drama. But it is sort of a point that those who are an absolute neutral in the force aren't exactly stable individuals and it presents a flaw within the order. Plus it is kind of difficult for me to play "good" characters as I usually prefer playing villains or antiheroes. You can do a round of interaction without me, unless you want to get to it immediately.
"Ashara wants to talk to all of us. She seems distressed" answered the man, standing right behind the girl's back. "Maybe my Force-connection is not that great nowadays but I still can sense disturbances. And now I sense lots of them"
He sat on the grass next to Phora, not caring about the fact that his robes or anything else might end up covered in mud.
Phora didn’t want to look at him, he was a friend, and how she treated him earlier was wrong.
"I see, hopefully at least some things are solved, for example Fang’s problem…"
"I hope that as well. Especially that someone should take care of the rest of the apprentices. We both know how it might end if we leave them without any level of control..." Rholdun seemed upset with something.
Phora chuckled.
“Why are you so upset about it, there’s nothing better than some crazy apprentices running around in frenzy…”
She sighed.
“Ah, it is best way to learn…unless environmental damage is way too big.”
Phora didn’t expect him to remember anything so soon. Actually given his state it would be better for this memory to be forgotten.
“I see…”
he former Jedi shook his head again. "I shouldn't be bothering you with this sort of thing. Ashara needs us now." He didn't want to tell Phora, yet he remembered who the person killed by him was. And he knew he did the right thing, even if the Council misjudged his deed. He got up and walked towards the temple, concerned with Ashara's behavior.
She got up, deciding to finally look at him, or rather his back as he walked towards temple. She didn’t say anything, she simply followed.
OOC - So this time I post for both of us...
As all the grey knights had gathered in the main room of the temple. Ashara stood up in front of them.
"I have called you in for a reason. This is a precautionary measure. As some of you might know, Adegan crystals are bound to the force and may change the color of a lightsaber depending on the alignment of it's user. The colors red and orange represent the dark side, while green, yellow and blue represent the light side. What is in between is usually violet. Mine was near ultraviolet, while it is closer to blue it is actually rather a neutral color. However..." She pulled out her lightsaber and turned it on. The color was a pink. "Pink is a shade of red. I fear that I might be losing my inner balance and am in danger of falling back to the dark side."
"I have called you here so that you know that I might not be able to trust depending how far I fall. If I try to manipulate you to embrace the dark side, resist. If I can't regain my balance, I must leave you and exile myself. I would rather not leave you. But if I stay and fall to the dark side, I may become the reason for the demise of the grey knights. But if I leave, I fear that the grey knights would eventually fall apart." Ashara said.
"A few of you know that I was once a Sith. But the fewest know the circumstances. I was infamous. I was even hated by some Sith and they feared me as much as they hated me. I was known as Darth Sanguineis. I was known for my orange lightsaber and my ruthlessness on one side but as a leader I was considered benevolent. I preferred to pursuade the simple citizen with character and not with violence. I would give them relative freedom for their loyalty and I would destroy traitors and personal enemies brutally. I personally killed many who didn't deserve it. And the emotional anguish that I can never atone for my crimes is one of the sources of my inbalance. The only person I don't regret killing is my former Sith master who was at the time leader of our group of Sith. He was brutal and order the deaths of millions innocents. I do not desire to go back to a life where I try to dominate. So I wish you to be cautious and try to avert my turning."
“Really? You are...” She paused as if searching for a right word.
“…terrible, and here I thought I would be a main problem when it comes to falling. If you wish so to avoid it simply stop worrying and focus on what you want to be…it’s funny that usually mad person tells you that, you know?” She smiled, yet that smile quickly disappeared and in place of it coldness surfaced.
“But if you do fall and threaten them…” She paused once again and glanced at Aurora.
“ I promise you that I will simply kick some sense into you…” She smiled weakly.
Phora knew that in worst case she may be forced to kill Ashara, and worst part is it wouldn’t really bother her much, after all so far she’s the only one that has red lightsaber, at least the only one she knows of.
OOC - I wonder if Ashara knows about Phora's lightsaber being red, possibly not since she's unbalanced ^^.