Flattered that Suri recognized her, a smile split across Tesla's face that instead of exhibiting charm it was almost childlike. "My name's Tesla," she chose not to disclose her last name, Basov, which was obviously Russian, "and I'll bring that scotch right up, babe." Tesla always applied terms of endearment to those she was talking to, a habit since she was younger. With Suri, Tesla didn't mind being a little flirtatious. Hell if things went right for Tesla she could make all her tips among all the people in the VIP room instead of on the floor where the skeevy men ogled her to the point she was almost embarrassed for them. Among these people, Tesla felt strangely a little at home. Since leaving her family and Manhattan behind, Tesla had been a member of the working class. Struggling had not suited her but Tesla somehow always managed to make ends meet.
These people didn't worry about being able to afford rent, sure their money was dirty but they were living large now..right? Who knew what the future could hold. If what happened at the bistro the other night is what they did to all newbies, it was seriously fucked up and one day someone was bound to slip up. Tesla wouldn't, and it was a little horrifying how she didn't feel as phased about killing a man as she should. Easily she had picked herself back up and carried on, and Skye - well Tesla didn't know what happened to her really. She'd have to ask Kitten when she saw her.
When it came down to it, Tesla couldn't turn away from this lifestyle. She already had a drop of it cross her lips, the intoxicating mixture of danger and passion enticing her only to further be a part of this lifestyle. What was it that Romeo had said at the bar earlier, if she was interested in a job as a sales girl that she should talk to him? Perhaps, depended on what she would be selling. Tesla was an avid pill popper, but nothing too serious. Occasionally the girl dabbled in other drugs, but most of them were elementary to her, a phase she blew through already.
It was interesting to see how everyone interacted with each other - a organized setting of self centered individuals on how to continue to run the streets of the city. Tesla felt as if she had stumbled down the rabbit hole into a whole other world.
Plus the men here were so handsome, Tesla concluded. There was Cole with rugged features and domineering mien, and despite the fact that his burly hands were the once that forced her hand to kill, Tesla found herself wondering how he touched a female. If he was surprisingly gentle, or properly rough.
Either way Tesla's train of thought about Cole was cut short of a familiar looking brunette storming up to Romeo with such lack of boundaries Tesla felt herself flinch with jealousy. The girl couldn't be much far from Tesla's own age - her flawless complexion and lively hair exhibiting youth even if she sounded like a thirty year old bitch.
Even her behavior was familiar, although Tesla didn't want to admit that maybe it was because she reminded Tesla of herself a little. Not of herself now, but when she had been Daddy's princess. But that wasn't quite it, there was something else about this girl that stood out in Tesla's mind.
The claws came out of the beautiful Maria, a much more becoming side to the girl then the last time Tesla saw her getting dragged across the floor by her hair covered in blood and brain matter. Romeo manhandled the girl out, and Tesla felt a pang of sympathy for the girl - she understood the feeling of ridicule when being thrown out of a room like a child.
A glass was thrown to her by Jackson, who complained of not being able to be introduced to the girl who Tesla picked up was Bliss, Romeo's sister. Pretending to stay busy, Tesla watched Jackson from the corner of her eye as he and Cole bantered. The man was yet another handsome part of the team, with womanizer written all over him.
Birds of a feather flock together. She glanced back to Romeo, winking instinctually as they accidentally locked eyes, suggestively smirking at the aristocrat.
Gathering the remaining empty glasses, Tesla reviewed the information she had learned as she took the journey back to the bar.
Bliss Vallance, even saying the name in her head it had a ring to it, as if she heard it before. Thinking back, there may have been a Vallance family in New York that occasionally her parents would see at charity events, or was it that there had been a Vallance Field House at her prep academy? Not able to put her finger on it, Tesla chose to just ignore the inkling.
"I need a scotch and a ginger ale." Tesla told Roger once she reached the bar, pushing the tray of dirty glasses to him. The scotch was for Suri, the ginger ale for herself. Roger nodded in understanding, serving the tame beverage first and pushing it toward the vixen before tending to grown folks business.
Tesla took the glass delicately, feeling knots develop in her gut, a delightful side affect from the combination of pills and the atmosphere she had wound up in. In a way it was all so overwhelming, having gone from awkward old business men or potentially physco Tycoons to a room of beautiful, dangerous people. They were all so witty and seductive, her type of crowd.
As if Tesla's thoughts had summoned the fallen angel herself, Maria appeared at the bar with a mild mannered asain. Peering inquisitively, Tesla sipped on her ginger ale, overhearing Maria's order to Roger, who then proceeded to add the drinks onto the tray set out for Tesla.
It all was so tedious, Tesla turned her back to the bar to instead enjoy the scenery and her fizzy drink. Although there was some glamour in working for the infamous Ochetto's, Tesla was still having to make a living by doing a menial job that others deemed as immoral.
"You seem love struck."Tesla gawked at Roger who spoke from behind her, the man hadn't even been able to see her face and most likely was just trying to come up with some lame excuse to talk to her. Setting down the nearly gone beverage, Tesla pursed her lips in contemplation as she shook her head in denial of his assumption. "With Romeo? No...." A brief giggle interrupted her train of thought, "he's too much like my father."
Roger laughed, continuing to mix drinks and send orders out to the girls.
"Well you got that look on your face, and having worked at this strip joint for three years I can tell you I recognize lust when I see it." his tone was matter of a fact, which although annoying was just, Tesla knew the look she had when her mind was on a set track. But for some reason Tesla didn't want to admit she was leading herself right into the trap that Romeo had laid out for her, somehow she had a feeling Roger had witnessed girls time and time again do the same thing.
"Well I work off tips, and my job is a stripper and cocktail waitress...." Tesla nullified, irked that Roger most likely knew exactly what Tesla was getting herself into, "...besides what I do in my bedroom with whomever is none of your business. I have needs, and someone has to take care of them." She stated cooly, sliding out the tray to precariously balance it on her hand above her shoulder. "Now Jackson, maybe he's more of my type. More brawn less brains." Although it was meant as a joke, Roger's eyes darted to Maria before laughing half heartedly.
Furrowing her brow, Tesla turned her back from the strange bartender to go back to the Lions den. So far Roger had been nothing but a pest, Tesla deduced, choosing to just ignore the man as much as possible from now on. She began calculating mentally how much money she would have left over for shopping after she paid her bills.
Not enough Tesla thought as she returned to the VIP room, absorbing the fine details of the room and the people in it.
They were all so meticulously taken care of, dressed to the nines for a meeting at Windy City, but perhaps that's just how they dressed on the regular. Remembering her father, Tesla could hardly recall a memory where he wasn't wearing a suit. These people made her want to be a part of the life they led, even if it did leave blood stains behind.
"Your scotch on the rocks." Tesla said, handing Suri her drink when there was a pause in the conversation, a wicked grin worn on her face. As much as Tesla wanted to redirect people's attention to her, they all seemed involved in a deep conversation. Taking in tidbits of information, Tesla managed to piece together that they were on a hot button issue.
Continuing to serve the drinks, Tesla remembered something her father once told her, that she was to be
seen and not heard. Being a stripper/cocktail waitress wasn't much different, in fact Tesla would say everything that happened to her life up to then had been training for this exact moment in time. These were dangerous people, who's to say they wouldn't use her to demonstrate to newbies about what happens when someone can't handle working with the Ochetto's. An involuntary shiver ran down her spine, causing Tesla to almost spill Jackson's drink on herself, barely catching her balance in the nick of time. She would've tried to play it off, however once she looked to Jackson by his expression he had witnessed the fluke.
A guilty grin replaced her expression of panic, a glint of humor in her doe like eyes. "Can't blame a girl for getting nervous." She said, batting her lashes and handing him the drink smoothly. Luckily it had been him and not Romeo she had almost spilled the drink on, otherwise Tesla would have been too mortified to be able to recover from the stumble.
Finally she had to serve Romeo his drink, taking a few breaths to steady herself before walking to where he stood against a pillar, facing the crowd. He was unpredictable, which made Tesla both nervous and curious. He kept her guessing, making Tesla experience apprehension to approach the man. Her hand reached out to touch the fine fabric of his jacket, gliding her fingers from his forearm to his bicep silkily. "For you,
Romeo." His name rolled nicely off her tongue, quirking an eyebrow before winking suggestively.
Before he could suggest she get back to work or leave her jaw slacked like an idiot, Tesla let her hand fall from where it rested on his bicep. Her eyes went from his chiseled features to the skin that peeked from the collar of his shirt down to his shoes. Although undeniably handsome, Tesla wasn't sure if she wanted to play the game with such an experienced player - she was sure to come out last. Instead Tesla turned on the heel of her shoe, as if to begin collecting empty glasses and bottles. Perhaps Romeo's intention all along had been for her to work harder, and damn it all it had worked.
Rosalinda didn't remember her surroundings as her eyes fluttered open, once again forgetting her night. The blow to her head must've caused more damage than she remembered, Rosa was done being punching bag for Julian. Rolling her head to her side, seeing her fiancé chatting with Brenda, her memories began to tumble together for her to make sense of.
Rape she was still a victim of the horrible crime, she was sure of it. Not wanting to believe such a poor fate, Rosalinda buried the truth along with the shame and pain and attempted to seem lively before Julian noticed she had awaken.
Brenda wouldn't tell him what happened, would he? There was a patient confidentiality pact and although Julian was her fiancé and a police officer, Rosa still had her privacy, right?
Noticing she had roused from sleep, Julian mumbled something to Brenda, ushering the woman away. Most likely he had assured her that he would handle Rosa, then closing the curtain around them. Rosa could feel the blood rushing to her ears, wether from fear or passion she wasn't sure. Julian stood at the foot of her bed, staring at Rosa in silence. He seemed to be taking everything in, Rosa felt as if she were under the microscope.
Instinctually, she shifted to cover the injury that might anger Julian the most - her wrist.
"I already know, Rosa." he said flatly, coming to the side of her. His intimidating stance and piercing stare penetrated within her mind, causing Rosa to inwardly shrivel. What would he do now? He had told her that if she cut again it was over, but would he let her go so easily? If only she were so lucky.
"You promised me you wouldn't do it again." he didn't sound angry so much as sorrowful. His hand grabbed her arm that she tried to shield, Rosa flinched under his touch - surprised at his tenderness
It was then that Rosa knew she had her Jortiz back, the man who would kiss her pain away and drown her in affection and love. It was hard to say no when he got like this. His fingers gently ran over the bandages,
"What happened?" he pleaded for her to tell him, wanting to KILL the one who hurt his fiancé this badly.
If only I knewRosa stared at Julian's hands, carefully watching them for any signs of hostility. She could sense him begging her to look him in his eyes, but Rosalinda was still fumbling for an answer. She couldn't tell him the truth, that much was sure. "I was mugged." Slowly she brought her eyes to his, "I think they hit me in the head...I don't remember much." It wasn't a complete lie, Rosalinda had no definite recollection of being raped, it was just unfortunate that all evidence pointed to that.
She held her breath, watching his face twist into one of comprehension. Although it was entirely believable, Julian couldn't place his finger on why it didn't seem to be quite right. Why had Cole and that other man he recognized from the peer been in the cafeteria? Why did Rosa feel the need to cut herself? How did she end up at the hospital?
He didn't realize he had he began gripping Rosa's bandaged wrist while deep in thought until the slight woman let out a squeak of discomfort. As if he had burned himself, Julian released his hold on Rosa, watching her shrivel up before him. This was not what he had wanted, a woman he had scared into staying with him. He couldn't understand why he kept hurting her, it's not like he did it intentionally. When everything went red, Julian couldn't control himself anymore. He would hurt her and most of the time immediately regret it, then showering her with gifts and presents until he thought he was forgiven.
Rosalinda wasn't sure how much more of his bullshit she could handle.
Yes she loved the man who stood next to her, but perhaps they had been rushing themselves because they believed that they were so in love. That much was true, there was no denying that she loved Jortiz in a crazy almost dependent sort of way. He was her emotional anchor, the one who managed to keep her grounded.
However did love justify abuse? Perhaps in another world, but in this one Rosa just stop thinking about how deep of a whole she dug herself in, and how she was supposed to get out. Yes she loved Julian, but perhaps they weren't meant to be - maybe they had met in this world to learn from each other and better themselves for the true love of their life.
Julian wouldn't buy any of that though - Rosa was his, and that how he planned on keeping it. She could read it in the lines of his expression. Sometimes his intensity scared her, he could see it in her eyes. However Rosa would never admit so, most likely he would complain about how she acted like such a child sometimes. The argument got old, his constant defense that maybe their age gap was a bigger deal than they thought. If Rosa didn't fear him knocking her lights out, Rosa would point out he was consistently the one who acted immature.
Finally Julian spoke, "I can't shake the feeling that you're lying to me..." Rosa opened her mouth to speak, but Julian's finger pressed against her swollen lip halted her speech, "but I can understand why you don't want to trust me right now."
Damn right she didn't want to trust him, hell she didn't want to see him either. But who else did she have? If she didn't have Jortiz, Rosa would be alone in the world except for maybe her dysfunctional sister or perverted cousin. The fear of loneliness outweighed the fear of Julian's rage. No matter how badly Rosa would want to leave Julian, she couldn't force herself to turn her back on him when he needed her most.
After Rosa remained silent for sometime, Julian spoke again, "I'm on duty in an hour, they're keeping you overnight to run some tests. By the time they release you in the morning I'll be back." He knew she couldn't leave him.
Not yet, atleast.
Nodding as if she comprehended his words, Rosa's fingers feebly reached for his before he would leave. Once again her eyes settled on the bandage on her wrist, the blood had began to seep through the gauze from the pressure Julian had applied. She had to let him think they were okay, reassure him she wasn't going anywhere. Often her stand offish attitude's could be misconstrued as disinterest - which Julian would switch into her cheating on him. His elementary love games were starting to become too much, and Rosa could recognize when God was telling her to turn away from someone.
But now was not the time."I'll be waiting." She said, seeing a glimpse of a smile as Julian made out her words. He kissed her forehead before saying goodbye, once again assuring he'd be back in the morning. Rosa didn't doubt it for a second, Julian wanted Rosa to have as little alone time as possible right now. Alone time meant time to think, and thinking led to decisions, and if he wasn't there to influence her train of thought she might make the decision to be done with him. That was something he just couldn't have.
She watched him leave, a faint smile on her lips. Giving sometime for him to make it out to his squad car and pull off, Rosa continued to hold her composure, on the chance he would return. If he saw her a mess, Julian would refuse to leave her alone. He would have to think she was okay.
Once she was sure he wasn't coming back, Rosa leaned her head back onto the pillow. What would she do now? After they did some testing they would only confirm her suspicions, and Rosa wasn't sure if she needed that weight on her shoulders to. She closed her eyes, desperately clawing through the darkness of last night - once again straining herself to force a memory.
Nothing.Frustrated, Rosa clawed at the hair at her temples, scrunching her nose like an annoyed child. How could she not remember anything whatsoever? It was such a violation of the mind, making her feel weak and helpless.
"Suga, I just want to check if that cut needs some stitches."Rosalinda opened her eyes to see Brenda once again, a certain sort of kindness in her eyes. Biting her lip, Rosa nodded in compliance, offering her arm to Brenda. The woman was gentle, commenting on how Rosa had bled through. She was reminded of Julian gripping her wrist, turning to face away from Brenda so she wouldn't see the shame in her eyes.
"You didn't get too deep, it'll take a couple weeks too heal but no stitches needed." giving Rosa a toothy grin, it was hard for the fawn skinned femme to not grin back.
"Which doesn't explain why it was bleeding so profusely....""Glad to hear." Rosa said with a scratchy voice, trying to appear uplifted, ignoring her mumblings. Brenda rotated Rosa's arm, carefully examining it. Her fingers gently grazed up Rosa's arm, to where only one other intentional scar marred her skin. Rosa could recognize the pity in Brenda's face, the woman had already accounted for the many scars on Rosa's legs, she was no fool and could see right through Rosa.
People who never felt the desperation of a
need to inflict self harm never understood
why. Hell, Rosa had once not understood why. It was a cowardly practice - for those who didn't have to balls to just kill themselves already. She had never taken pride in it, unlike other people who had put it out there plain as day as a cry for help. See the way Rosa looked at it there were the cutters who did it for attention, the ones who gave people like Rosa a chance to go by undetected. The cutters like Rosa were probably the most demented ones, the ones who truly believed that cutting alleviated some emotional trauma and thus helping them.
More often than not, it was the cutters like Rosa that ended up dead, because they never let out a plea for help - instead just trying to slice the pain away. Brenda understood this, she could see that Rosalinda had a problem that she needed to talk about. But also Rosa needed to know what was going on with herself physically first. Cleaning the wound and once again bandaging it, Brenda let silence hang between them.
Although Rosa had only been in the emergency ward for a few hours, Brenda had seen enough for herself to take a particular interest in the young woman's condition. She seemed like a very special young woman, and there was something not quite right about her fiancé.
"We're going to move you to a semi-private room, now we're going to run some tests so we're going to need you to cooperate with us." throwing away the previous bandaid and her gloves, Brenda carefully watched Rosa's reaction.
Once again withdrawing into her shell, Rosa brought her arm close to herself once Brenda released it, as if she were trying to hold herself together. Believing Rosa had nothing to say, Brenda went to leave when Rosa cleared her throat. Wisdom was settled behind her hazel eyes, and a certain strength exuded from her that made Rosa envious of the chocolate skinned woman.
Fidgeting from where she lay, Rosa felt uncomfortable under the woman's all knowing stare for issues by her own insecurities. Feeling as if a child asking her teacher not to call home, Rosa spoke, "I know my fiancé is very concerned....and I love him for that, but..." With all her might, Rosa forced herself to look Brenda in the eyes, "I need to make sure my test results are told to myself only...and if possible could the fact that I don't want him to know not be expressed to him by some one who doesn't know what - " she realized her request may seem odd, but Brenda had to understand the delicacy of the situation. This was no regular domestic abuse situation, this was a domestic abuse situation with a cop.
For some reason Rosa felt as if Brenda could see right through her, only furthering causing Rosa to fumble for the right words. As her fingers played with the edges of her blanket, Rosa spoke again. "My fiancé loves me very much, but things need to be handled a specific way with him or else all hell breaks loose." She explained, attempting to be as vague as possible.
Brenda was silent for a few moments longer, allowing time for if Rosa needed to say something else. When it seemed that Rosa was done, Brenda rounded to the side of Rosa's bed, carefully clasping hands with the young lady. Her fingers were so warm against the raw palms of Rosa's, making Rosa initially flinch beneath the woman's touch. However Brenda didn't pull back, instead she leaned close and spoke in a caring whisper,
"It's all good baby, Brenda will take care of you."And with that, Rosa allowed herself to be vulnerable once more.