NameNathan Miller (
friends call him Nate)
Age18
GenderMale
Height5'11"
BuildLean, simple, average; weighs about 170lbs. (79kg)
LooksNathan has an average, healthy teenage male's build. He has black hair and blue eyes, and usually wears non-logo clothing, ranging from short-sleeve T-shirts, to long-sleeve, and sweater jackets/hoodies, which he normally has up, so as to further hide from unwanted, prying eyes. He wears regular jeans, sometimes changing it up with cargo pants. And finally, he's got a pair of regular shoes for everyday use. He's not one to really care much for his outward appearance.
Past Life AwarenessFully remembered everything by the time he was 15.
RoleBoy 1
PersonalityNathan is a rather complex fellow. No one in his current life knows what makes him tick -- not even his closest friends, which is something that regularly bothers most of them. Especially Amber. That being said, there
is an explanation for it... Due to the countless efforts he has made at breaking the curse he placed on his friends' souls 100 years ago, each attempt ending with failure, he has become closed off and isolated from those who are close to him. Seeming to want little to do with any of his friends or family's desire for activity, he comes off as rather cold, uncaring, and antisocial to them, which is a cause for concern, as
Nathan Miller wasn't always like that before he reached a certain age... Every new life, it takes roughly 13 years after his birth for him to start remembering who he used to be. Because of that, he develops a natural life, as any normal child would do as they grew older. However, after his past lives' memories return to him once more, he shifts into a higher sense of purpose, with only one very specific goal set in mind: to save his friends from this eternal pain. Once this change takes place, Nathan is more distant with his friends and family, as he is simply too focused on trying to find a solution to their problem. However... After another 5 years, when the youngest member of their seemingly eternal group finally comes of age, the clock of their happy new lives comes to a dead stop, and the deaths begin anew... At that point, Nathan's personality seems to take yet another dramatic change. He will suddenly be more close and affectionate with his friends; wanting to spend more and more time with them with each passing day -- wanting to keep each of them within his line of sight as much as possible. This -- unbeknownst to them -- being because he has no way of knowing which of his friends is destined to die next, as well as a possible sense of wanting to be with them before their final moments in this life... In the past, he has managed to save one or two of them from their demise, only to fail in protecting his own life shortly after. Despite the inevitable failure he keeps running into each cycle, that one aspect is the only thing that keeps him going: he
SAVED them. If he could save two of his friends once, then he was certain it was possible to save them all... That being said, he has no clue as to what happened to them after he was gone, and judging by the fact that they were still under the effects of this curse, it didn't look good...
While none of Nathan's friends seem to truly understand what he is about, the ones who are more past self aware do understand that it has something to do with their predicament. The only one who appears to have a deeper understanding of his feelings is Amber, as she has a very strong connection with him due to their history. Not wanting to show just how horrible he's feeling over it all, Nathan partially chooses to keep away from most of his friends on a semi-regular basis, although he also tends not to realize just how blunt he is about it, which makes it look like he
wants nothing to do with them, which is untrue. Intentionally as well as partly unconscious about it, he does this so as not to have any strong distractions from his hidden agenda, even if that means sacrificing his affection towards the ones he is fighting for. The part of him that realizes he is doing this is filled with even more guilt whenever he thinks about avoiding those he loves; especially when it comes to Oscar, who has always been like a brother to him, and Amber, the only woman he believes he has ever had true romantic feelings for. He also feels fairly guilty over avoiding Violet, who, due to being unaware of her past lives at the moment, is somewhat attached to him over the fact that they both grew up together in this life. If only she knew... Because of his mistake 100 years ago, he very severely punishes himself with the full responsibility of righting this wrong, which has developed this want into that of a severe obsession. His mind is growing heavily exhausted by this point, and he is unsure if he will be capable of solving the problem alone this time around before he breaks.
In conclusion, Nathan Miller, depressed as he is over this obsession and the reasons behind its existence, is a kind soul, who only ever had the best intentions for his friends, no matter how truly selfish his choice was. He cares for those around him more than anything in the world, just as he had 100 years ago when he chose to bring them back... But his agenda has made him lose sight of
why he did what he did. Instead of living a good life with his friends at the same time as lifting the curse he placed on them, he is merely focused on just the latter; redeeming his selfish choice with an equally selfish method: alone, which must make his friends feel as though he wants nothing to do with them anymore. Something that is very far from true. Nathan is intelligent, independent, stubborn, naturally paranoid, worrisome, caring, cautious, kind, quiet, oftentimes cold and fairly antisocial, but above all else, loyal. He blames himself for what is happening, and is attempting to solve it without the aid of his friends, believing it to be no one's responsibility but his own. Any aspects of his old personality; affection, joy, humor, sarcasm, bravery, fun as well as highly social, were all replaced by most of what is listed above... There was once a time where he was the most outgoing, wild, carefree member of their circle, but now he has no time left to be that kind of selfish person. But that isn't to say that those feelings aren't still somewhere within his heart, locked away by the pain and misery over what he'd done so long ago...
My DetailsNathan lives with his current life's mother and father. He is an only child, and is in his final year of high school. He has a job at the local sporting goods store in town, and uses his wages to further his investigation into black magic, as well as the whereabouts of the original book he used 100 years ago. Sometime after the first few cycles, he built a bomb shelter-like room somewhere deep within the woods, where he keeps a large collection of information he has gathered throughout his past lives; journals, notes, photographs, items of magical origin -- all the things he needs to better understand how to lift the curse. He is rather talented with the piano; something he picked up in his first life, which he carried on with him through memory alone, feeling that it helps him process thought more easily, as it makes him feel more at home with his original self. Aside from that, he isn't a bad artist with the pencil either. Although he doesn't do it often, he can be caught sketching someone or something from time-to-time out of boredom. His school life is that of an average teenage male's would be. He never makes it a purpose in his life to stand out or make new friends, and will almost always be stand-offish to anyone outside his family and group of close friends. This being because, in his experience, he cannot trust just anyone with his back...
Likes+ Reading
+ Solitude
+ Art
+ Sketching
+ Classical music
+ Piano/playing the piano
+ The sound of a ticking clock/watch
+ Spaghetti
+ Jerky
Dislikes- Himself
- Nosy people
- Black magic
- Lying to his friends
- Hot weather
- Guns
- Danger
- Time
- Seafood
SecretsThe only secret worth knowing is the one he is hiding from his friends: he is the one responsible for the curse that was placed over all their souls, and has been lying about his knowledge over the entire fiasco since the moment they all began dying one by one.
FearsHis friends finding out the truth, never finding a solution to the curse, watching his friends die over and and over again, the local graveyard where it all started, black magic, his watch stopping.
Sexual OrientationHeterosexual
CrushNathan currently doesn't have a crush on anyone, however, he does still harbor deep feelings for Amber, due to their history, and never having been able to fully let her go. Their relationship throughout each life cycle always seems to be rather awkward, with a lot of tension between the two of them. He still speaks with an intimate tone when alone with her, out of reflex, which is likely due to their first relationship being cut short so suddenly. He has lingering feelings for her that he has yet to fully acknowledge, outside of knowing that he still cares for her more than most others, and that he almost always takes her into priority over his other friends when danger is afoot. Being too focused on his current agenda, he has made no attempts thus far at rekindling what they once had. Even if he were to want to, he likely would be too afraid until he finally saves her and the others from this fate...
GirlfriendN/A
OtherNathan's artifact -- the personal possession he used when performing the ritual -- is a silver pocket-watch inherited from his grandfather over 100 years ago. When each cycle gets closer to its end, he hides this watch within the shelter for his new body to acquire after it regains his soul's memories. It is by far his most prized material possession, as it seems to be directly tied with how the curse operates. Every cycle, after the youngest of the group turns 18, his watch begins to show signs of the exact time someone will die. This event happens once for each member of the group, until they have died, or death chooses to pass them up and go after another. He believes it is the key to saving his friends, and so he carries it with him always, often checking it obsessively, in case the "rules" up and change on him one day... He can often be found simply staring at it, listening to the ticking which would, by that time, likely drive any normal person insane due to the repetitive rhythm. That sound is the sound that keeps his friends alive, and so he treasures it, which is why he hates absolutely no noise. The stopping of that ticking has even been known to wake him from a deep sleep.