âJamal Jones. People ask me 'why Jamal?' My answer is, 'I donât know.' Thatâs the name my parents gave me because my parents made me. If it was my choice I might have picked something like...Robert. I like Robert, but Jamal isnât bad.â
Age:
â31â
Birthday:
âApril 19th, 1983â
Place of birth:
âHospital of the University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USAâ
Parents:
âJay Jones, Tameka Jones (nĂ©e Mosley)â
Siblings:
âNone.â
What was important to the people who raised her/him:
âThey worked for the money. Aside from that, the usual like family values, goinâ to church, prayinâ, stayinâ out of trouble, donât get into mix ups with the street thugs. Go to school get a good job. Donât be a comedian. Be a lawyer, or maybe a teacher, donât be a comedian. It was easier said than done, especially when my dad was a coke-head, and my mom was rarely ever around.â
Economic/social status growing up:
âUpper Middle Lower Classâ
Ethnic background:
âBlack Americanâ
Places lived:
âPhiladelphia, New York, Los Angeles, Chicagoâ
Education:
âI have a driverâs license only in Pennsylvania. I graduated from George Washington High School with a diploma in hand, praise God âcause I donât think I would have made it without him. I graduated from a community college after two years. I'm self-taught when it comes to comedy.â
Favorite subject in school:
âProbably English, itâs weird I know, but I guess itâs fitting since I went into comedy after. It takes a good writer to make funny jokes and sets.â
Special training:
âOh no, I never joined the Special Forces. They expect me to swim and do all that shit, I seen the Navy Seals. My people donât swim.â
Jobs:
âComedian, occasional actor, I was also in retail before that. Never goinâ back to that shit.â
Travel:
âI traveled around a lot, and when I say travel I mean mainly in the US. I was lucky enough to get a break when a group of comedians including Darnell Parker and Trey Stone called me up and asked if I could join their tour. Theyâre the reason why I came to the UK, I was going to do a five city European tour called Bring the Afro Back, but now Iâm thinking we should just bring civilization back.â
Friends:
âAside from my fellow comic friends, most of my buddies lived back in Philadelphia. I donât really know if they still alive. Although, I will say that my imaginary friends are still alive. They tough mothafuckas. Mhmm. Chainsaws and everythin'. â
How do people view this character:
âHow do people view me? They might find me talkative, they might find me funny, they might find me offensive, they might find me edgy. I swear a lot, so people might find me insensitive or undisciplined because of my use of that language. And itâs okay, Iâm okay with that. People need to realize that Iâm only jokinâ. I got paid to do this. I got paid to do what I love.â
Lived with:
âDonât worry âbout it, they all dead by now probably.â
Fights with:
âI fight with zombies. They scare the shit outta me. When I say 'fight' I mean more like run.â
Spends time with:
âTheyâre probably gone too. I suppose I didnât spend time, I wasted it.â
Wishes to spend time with:
âProbably my girlfriend, before she went zed. It was just too real, like something out of a movie.â
Who depends on him/her and why:
âAinât got no children, no kids, no wife dependinâ on me. I was a strong, educated, and independent black wo⊠man, man. Independent black man. I still am to some degree.â
What people does he/she most admire:
âI admire other comedians. They really are a special bunch of people, but thatâs pretty much old world talk. Now, who should I admire? The people who make sacrifices? I've admired them. The people who do what they do to survive? That's all of us now.â
Enemies:
"None that I know of, but letâs hope they might all be dead too, not the Walking Dead, but just plain dead and may Jesus and his heavenly servants bless them so they wonât come and haunt me. Wait, let me just make some corrections to what I said earlier about my friends and family. They might all be undead by now.â
Dating, marriage:
âYes, Iâm dating, or I was. Marriage? Let me stop you there, bitch tried to take a bite outta me.â
Children:
âNone, although, I was thinkinâ of adoptinâ.â
Religious Beliefs:
âChristian, Baptist. I follow Jesus, but not like those wacko freaks who decided to call this the Rapture and get all gun nut blastin' people left and right because they think they the Lord's crusaders. Frankly I don't believe in that or the idea that this is just Pestilence. Nah. I don't have all the answers. Maybe this is part of his plan. I don't know, I don't claim to know, I'm just tryin' to live. Maybe I'm alive for a reason.â
Overall outlook on life:
âPositive, stay funny, stay alive.â
Does this character like him/herself:
âI like to think that I like myself more than I dislike myself.â
What, if anything, would he/she like to change about his life:
âAre you seriously gonna ask me that? Everyone has regrets, but thatâs the last thing to worry about when youâre tryinâ to survive. Thinkinâ about what I would change will never change it. Itâs all about what Iâm gonna do thatâs gonna make a difference.â
What personal demons haunt him/her:
âWell, being a Christian, Satan is already a given. Letâs not get further into this because you know, I amâŠlet me rephrase, was a comedian. Comedians tell stories, lots and lots of stories. Most of our stories come from life experiences. You donât get life experiences byâŠwell, I donât really need to explain further.â
Is he/she lying to him/herself about something:
âIf I said yes that I was lying to myself, I would not be lying to myself about me lying to myself. I do lie to myself, thatâs the only thing I donât lie to myself about.â
Optimistic/pessimistic:
âOptimistic. I mean look at me.â
Real/feigned:
âThe hell does this mean?â
Morality level:
âI like to think that anybody who is still ALIVE, is perfectly capable of, actually I need to back the hell away from that statement. Nowadays, people be willinâ to cut yo pinkie off for a couple of potatoes in this world. Hell, I might actually be one of those that would cut yo pinkie off for a couple of potatoes. Iâm glad I found these people when I did, because I have no idea what kind of a person, or even thing, I would have become.â
Confidence level:
âYeah. Iâm confident, in front of a huge crowd in a packed theater above swelling levels of laughter. If that huge crowd were, say, a crowd of zombies, thatâs another story.â
Typical day:
âAh, there is no typical day, least not anymore.â
Physical appearance:

Body type:
âSexy beast.â
Posture:
âSemi-slumped. âWalk widâ yo back straight son, what are yah, a shrimp back?â Thatâs what the old folks on my block used to say all the time when they saw me walk to school.â
Head shape:
âChrome dome. What the hell you tryinâ to say about my people?â
Eyes:
âBrownâ
Nose:
âThe tip is a bit wide.â
Mouth:
âOh Iâve got some puckers. Prodigious puckers that are a trademark of my descent.â
Hair:
âI could probably get a weave, but last I check the salons were closed. I might do dreadlocks.â
Skin:
âDidnât I answer this earlier? Black American obviously means black.â
Tattoos/piercings/scars:
âWest side, east side, thug lyfe, young money, grand hustle, lmfbao. I donât do piercings, but if my lady wanted one then Iâm all for it. Scars? No I wasnât about that life. I didnât get shot or cut up or anything because I actually finished high school and some college.â
Voice:
âDeep, baby. Maybe not like Barry White deep.â
What people notice first:
âMy smile.â
Clothing:
âNothinâ beats my Js. I like to dress fly, but that was before the whole world went to hell. Just give me something warm that I can run in. I would wear a snuggie if I could run in them. Lord knows you canât outrun a zombie in a snuggie.â
How would he/she describe himself:
âI like to think Iâm funny. Thatâs like my only redeeminâ trait. Iâm more like a walkinâ pile of vices, but why does that even matter anymore? Everybodyâs just tryinâ to survive the walkers, do we really have time to worry about who we are as people? Maybe we do, maybe we donât. I like to say that I think a lot sometimes. I might be an oddball, but I realized a long time ago that everyone has a screw loose somewhere.â
Health/disabilities/handicaps:
âOh yeah, I come from America, which means Iâm automatically obese. Letâs see, heart disease, high cholesterol, type II diabetes, the kind that hoodlums get, thatâs why they call it juvenile right?â
Characteristics:
Personality type:
âSanguineâ
Strongest/weakest character traits:
âMy strongest trait? Maybe Iâm just a curious person. My weakest trait? I can be careless to peopleâs sensibilities.â
How can the flip side of his/her strong point be a weakness:
âCuriosity killed the cat. I thought that was true until I found out my uncle Reggie ran over it. Naw, but your greatest weakness can also be your greatest strength, er I mean your greatest strength can be your greatest weakness. Mencius said that. Thatâs right. You know who Mencius is?â
How much self-control and self-discipline does he/she have:
âI would say that I have a lot of self-discipline, but I also lack a lot of it at the same time. It takes a lot to be a comedian, and sometimes youâre not rewarded at all as youâre wandering the circuit. Ever since I started making money though, I started packing on some pounds and I decided that I needed to stay in shape if I wanted to live longer. Iâm glad I managed to even make it this far.â
What makes him/her irrationally angry:
âI wouldnât say irrational, but I think that anger is irrational. If you think about it, anger is an emotional response. Emotions are in an entirely different domain from logic and rationality. If people had just bothered to talk about things, everything would resolve itself. Clearly, we canât do that anymore because zombies donât understand English.â
What makes him/her cry:
âI stopped crying a long time ago. I donât know how people would react if they ever see me crying.â
Fears:
âIt used to be crashing and burning on a comedy tour. It used to be turning out like my father. It used to getting caught up in violence. None of that seems to matter anymore. My greatest fears now result from those things out in the forest, you know what Iâm talkinâ âbout.â
Talents/Skills:
"Absolutely nothing useful in this day and age. I could be a cheerleader, or moral support? We need that. We need somebody to keep us happy after we've seen...oh I don't know, Jimmy getting his arm bitten off by one o' those freaks."
What people like best about him/her:
âItâs the same answer as always, they like me because I make them laugh. Sometimes I donât make them laugh, thatâs okay. Iâm still down to earth.â
Interests and favorites:
âFavorite what?â
Political leaning:
âLiberal, progressive. âBout time we had a black woman as President. Or maybe a First Man.â
Collections:
âPanty collection. Nah, Iâm just jokinâ. Donât quote me.â
Favorite Food, drink:
âBuffet and Pepsi.â
Music:
âR&B, Rap, Soul, Hip-Hop, Jazz, Classic Rock, Funk.â
Books:
âAnything by Mark Twain, he was a funny ass man.â
Movies:
âTyler Perry movies, Pulp Fiction, Django Unchained, Friday, Training Day, The Pursuit of Happyness. I liked comedy films, action flicks, and anything with Denzel Washington.â
Sports, recreation:
âRacquetball, I ran, I biked. Iâve was trying to get my cardio up since my doctor told me I should lose weight.â
Did he/she play in school:
âNo, I couldnât really afford to join the after school programs. I say âI couldnâtâ because if I wanted to participate in anything, it had to come out of my pocket.â
Color:
âColor? I told you Iâm black.â
Best way to spend a weekend:
"Getting firewood and not hearing one of those things scream."
A great gift for this person:
âI donât really do gifts. If you want to get me something, get me whatever, Iâll say âitâs nice, thank you so much,â and so on. My family never really cared much for gifts.â
Pets:
âI had a Rottweiler. No, I was not friends with Michael Vick.â
Vehicles:
âI had a 2014 Camry.â
What large possessions did he/she own and which did he/she like best:
âOh I had a car, a house, I didnât have a boat. I would have to say my house ever since my financial adviser told me that my house was an appreciation asset and my car was a deprecating asset. This basically meant that my home went up in value, but my wheels became old news once I drove it off the lot. Of course, none of that matters anymore.â
Typical expressions:
When happy:
âWhen Iâm happy? I probably might not say much. Or I might talk a lot, it varies. Itâs a hard question to answer because I donât think Iâve ever understood what real happiness was. Itâs not something easily understood, and I donât really pay much attention to my physical responses when Iâm supposedly in a moment of ecstasy.â
When angry:
âI might throw things. I might cuss people out, give them the bird. I might just walk away. Iâve learned in relationships that if I ever get angry, I just leave because I donât need to deal with that shit. Thatâs me relationship wise. I just realized how funny this is that I notice what I do when Iâm angry. Obviously itâs so I can recall what I did and did not do while Iâm on trial.â
When frustrated:
âSwear words, although sometimes I feel that I use swear words so much that they've completely lost their meaning or usefulness. Oh, you wanted my physical expressions? Uh, I donât know, a scowl?â
When sad:
âSad? Did you know that comedy comes from a very dark place? If Iâm overly cracking jokesâŠâ
Idiosyncrasies:
"Let me look that up. Oh thatâs right, I donât get any bars in this place, the cell towers areâŠthey uhâŠ"
Laughs or jeers at:
âI laugh at people who come to my shows and get offended. I donât know why they decide to bring their most sensitive side to a comedy show and then get offended. Did they not realize that the mothafucka on stage is jokinâ? But aside from that I can laugh at anything. My pain. Your pain. Somebody after they woke up. Drunk people. Hell, I could even laugh at zombies. I say âcould,â but I would not.â
Ways to cheer up this person:
âYou canât cheer up the cheer-upper.â
Ways to annoy this person:
âWould you please shut the hell up with all these questions. Iâm in a zombie apocalypse not a job interview.â
Hopes and dreams:
âI think now more than ever is when Iâve figured out that life is kinda precious. My only hope is to be able to stay alive and see the sunrise each day. It gives me hope that I can still open my eyes and see something beautiful even after the world has gone to hell.â
How does he/she see him/herself accomplishing these dreams:
âI figured a gun or a machete always comes in handy, but a group of people with the same goals can help me go a long way.â
Whatâs the worst thing he/sheâs ever done to someone and why:
âWell sheâs dead now, but the worst thing I ever did was not go to my motherâs funeral. I donât really want to say anything more.â
Greatest success:
âI donât think Iâve reached it yet, when somebody asks me about my greatest success, I think there is no âgreatest.â Once you reach the top of one mountain, you can see from that horizon that thereâs an even bigger one to climb. It goes on and on like that.â
Biggest trauma:
âThereâs been a lot. I canât really measure them on a bad to worse scale.â
Most embarrassing thing that ever happened to him/her:
âI think I did a bit on this once.â
What does he/she care about most in the world:
âAt this point, just trying to survive.â
Does he/she have a secret:
âProbably. If somebody tells you they donât have a secret, you be careful. Thatâs a unicorn.â
If he/she could do one thing and succeed at it, what would it be:
"Talking. I think I'm doing fairly well at it."
He/She is the kind of person who:
âTalks to himself occasionally, like that. I am the kind of person who would not use a single word to describe himself other than maybe âindescribable.ââ
How is the character ordinary or extraordinary:
âI say Iâm ordinary like any other person on this planet. Weâre all ordinary. Itâs the things we do that are extraordinary.â
Core Need:
âI want to be loved. Thatâs what they say for this part right? All you need is love. Naw, I want to be remembered. If I die, I be like that song by the Beatles, what was it called....ah look at all the lonely people. People die and fade away. It's no different now than it was before shit hit the fan. Only difference is that there's the possibility that people come back, but they come back different. Not the same. You get what I'm sayin'? When we go, I hope somebody remembers us. Somebody down here.â
Anecdote:
âSo I put the body in my trunk and after a couple of weeks it began to smell...â
History:
âWas not one of my better subjects, the only time it was interesting was when they talked about the psychos.â