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occupation - producer ; zodiac - cancer ; known languages - korean, japanese, english
face claim - yoon jeonghan ; creator - starlightprincess ; color - #00a86b
xxxxxxxxxMy whole happiness is here; It was nice to find you.xxxâ
Gullible, naive, innocent- these are all words that can be used to describe Hyeon. He has a permanent smile on his face that is almost always forced, but he can't bear to let people know how upset he is, because then they'd want to know why and having to explain his many discomforts is far too daunting a task for someone who can't trust any of the people he comes across. Hyeon forces himself to appear happy and unaffected by the world. On a deeper level, however, he struggles in life as an idol because he finds it impossible to trust anyone, to let anyone know anything real about him, because surely if they did, they wouldn't like him anymore. They don't even like him now, surely, because why would they? Hyeon is uncomfortable with physical affection because he doesn't understand it, doesn't know what it means to hug and be comforted, has only known pain when others touch him. Yet he refuses to move away when people come at him, because what if he insults them? What if they get angry because he insults them? He goes along with what people initiate out of fear for what might happen if he doesn't. He wants to love, but has no real idea how to know what love feels like, and has even less of an idea what it feels like to be loved by others. xx
According to coworkers and old friends Hyeon had met of his parents', they were once desperately in love- a "love at first sight" situation, if you will. They had met, were enchanted by each other, and were married within months. Hyeon, however, never experienced a time when his parents were in love. They had met and shared a bed and his mother had gotten pregnant, they'd gotten married out of obligation, and then resented each other for years to come. Hyeon grew up not knowing what love was. His father was cold and distant, often gone on business trips or in business meetings or just away on business in general, rarely elaborating for any reason other than to vent when a deal didn't go the way he'd wanted. When he was home, he drank, and reacted violently to the smallest of stressors. Hyeon's mother wasn't much better. She was hotheaded and impatient, constantly scolding Hyeon for just... being a child, most of the time. But the worst was Hyeon's older brother, Henry- the meant-to-be-a-one-night-stand baby that had caused all the anger their parents unleashed upon the boys. Henry had been the only source of their parents' fury for seven years before Hyeon was born, and as such, he interpreted his new little brother as an outlet for his own anger, and abused Hyeon more than their parents ever did. He told Hyeon that fighting was futile, that it would only make the pain drag on further, that it was better to just let the beatings happen. And so Hyeon believed. He told Hyeon that he was worth nothing, that he wasn't loved, that he never would be. And so Hyeon believed. Henry was what Hyeon feared the most in his life- more than his father when he drank, more than his mother when she was frustrated. Even years later, Henry and everything he's said lingers in the back of Hyeon's mind like a cancer. xxx
For most of his life, Hyeon put up with the abuse and told no one, did nothing, and the second he graduated school, he applied for idol training and was whisked away to what he could only see as paradise. He spent four years in idol training, putting up with a few quite vicious bullies but also making friends through it all, and was eventually offered a lasting contract. He did everything he was told, let the company do whatever they wanted, anything so long as he didn't have to go back home. He had no natural talent and had to work extra hard to stay in the industry, but it paid off in the end and his popularity rose. When his contract ended, however, he made a surprising decision to leave the company he'd been with and accept an invitation to Aeora, hoping their refreshing perspective on the idol industry and overall respect would help him unlearn everything Henry had taught him about being worthless. xx
Social media is the only place where Hyeon feels he isn't lying when he shows his sunny facade- the only place where it isn't a facade at all. He gushes about music, about dance, about his teammates, about Aeora. He responds to every compliment and interacts with his fans as much as he can, tells them how much he appreciates the support they give and how much they help him get by. He posts pictures of cute animals, reblogs dance choreography done by other groups and songs by other artists, leaves the things he likes out for all to see and know. When he sees the messages his fans leave, he feels truly happy and supported, feels like the smile he puts on isn't fake, for once. But even on social media, he refuses to elaborate on his life before becoming an idol. Even on social media, Hyeon lies. xx