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The Knight's Tale: The Story of Jason Walker

Los Angeles, CA

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a part of The Knight's Tale: The Story of Jason Walker, by Disarmhxc.

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Disarmhxc holds sovereignty over Los Angeles, CA, giving them the ability to make limited changes.

726 readers have been here.

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Los Angeles, CA is a part of The Knight's Tale: The Story of Jason Walker.

10 Characters Here

Lola 'Lolly' Martinez [17] "Mess with me, I'll fuck you up. Don't worry, I've got friends too."
Ria Murdock [12] "Seriously?"
Beauregard 'Beau' Duncan [7] "She's all I got, I'll be damned if I lose her too."
Nick "Nicky" Rhodes [5] "Today you must really be wanting to get your ass kicked, well allow me!"
Nicole "Nickie" Walker [4] Whether they're right or wrong, nobody messes with my boys!
Deacon "Deke" Walker [4] I taught my son everything I know so he'll one day become better than I am
Merc [1] "Hey, what's the worst that could happen?"
Mathias Daniels [0] "I know you better than anyone."
"Crazy" Jimmy Rhodes [0] "See the difference is...I actually do the shit you all think about doing"

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Beau looked at Nickie. "She won't even talk to me so..."

Afterwards. He stood in Church with Deacon. "Look, I'm gonna tell you what I told Nickie. Had I not heard it from Jason himself. I would have never believed it." He said. "I do feel horrible about being wrong. I know Jason better then that but...If you had a daughter...Hell, She's your goddaughter for christ sake's. What would you do if you thought someone raped her?" He asked him. He saw that his point was hitting home. 'Not only that but you heard a confession...or at aleast thought you did." He said and his voice trailed off. "If you want me out, I understand. You're protecting your son like I protected my daughter."


Lolly jumped at Nicky's voice. She saw a nasty bruise working on his face. Jason's handiwork, she figured.Which meant he pissed him off something fierce. Coupled with the fact that he was here. He must have said something horrible about her.
Lolly listened silently as Nicky spoke when he finished, she wanted to wrap her arms around him but she didn't. She felt too bad. She didn't know what to say, a rare feat. She looked at him and sighed. "You're just saying that because Jason hit you." She said looking at his head. It wasn't his fist but she didn't know with what. "You can hate me. It makes sense. Ria does. I mean...I turned you down only to..." She felt herself trembling. "I mean I'm fucked up. I mean, you were so nice about it and I turned you down but Jason. He challegened me and I couldn't back down. That makes me such a fucking...."she clenched her fists. She wasn't even talking to him anymore. After a long silence, she managed to look up at him. "For what it's worth. I still wasn't ready...Honestly...and Jason doesn't know but I didn't want to be anywhere near him afterwards. I didn't want him to touch me. I can only assume that meant I was far from ready..."

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"You're not.....that" Nicky said looking at her. "And for the record...I don't hate you. Yeah Jason hit me....a few times...but I needed it. I was being selfish, I was just upset that Jason got the girl and I didn't...it was stupid." Nicky said looking at her. "I meant what I said...I want us to still be friends" Nicky said with a grin, "is it too weird to offer a hug?" Nicky asked.

------------

Deacon chuckled, "protecting my son? He took a shotgun blast at point blank and practically walked out of the emergency room...seems to me he's got something or someone a lot stronger than me looking out for him" he said with a grin. "No I don't want you out....the shit we've been through together....had Jason not made it, maybe...but no use dwelling on what might have been. I said a lot of stuff...at the hospital" Deacon said looking down at the ground, "I meant it at the time I guess, but we're good now" Deacon said quietly. "Nikki told me about the gift you were going to give Jason...if it's all the same to you...I got something you could give him that he might like a bit better" Deacon said with a grin, walking around to the far side of the church. "I talked with Jimmy and some of the other guys...they all figured based on what Jason's done so far....and the fact that he's the only guy any of us has seen walk away from a shotgun blast..." he said as he opened a box and pulled out a leather cut, with a full 3 piece KOA patch on the back. "...we figured he's earned his colors. I was going to give it to him...but uh....if you're looking to bury the hatchet with him...well...this would do it" Deacon said handing the cut to Beau. Not only was Deacon essentially apologizing and making up with Beau, he was giving him the chance to present Jason with his cut, something he knew meant a lot to Deacon, but he also knew it'd be an insult to not accept it. As Nikki had said...they were family.

----

Nicky had left as Lolly was getting ready to leave herself when her phone went off. "Hey kiddo...how about some girl-on-girl time tomorrow?", it was a text from Nikki.

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Beau was taken aback by this. It was a big deal to present someone with their cut but this was his son. Beau was actually honored. They were family after all. Beau looked at Deacon. He didn't say it but Deacon could see the apology in his face.
Beau took Jason's cut and his other gift and headed toward the garage to find Jason.



Lolly smiled a bit and shook her head. "No it's not werid." She said and hugged him. At least she had two people in her corner now.

Just as Lolly was slid on the pants of her track suit. She heard her phone go off. It was Nickie.

To Nickie:
That sounds nice.


She said and headed home.

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Jason had got a call from Beau saying he wanted to meet. Jason showed up at the Martinez house, ringing the doorbell, he smirked when Beau opened the door and starting laughing. Jason was standing at the door, with a bullet proof vest strapped to his chest. "Figured I wouldn't tempt fate twice" Jason said with a smirk as he walked inside. He sat down in the living room looking at Beau, "so...uh what's up?" he said feeling a little awkward being in the room with the guy who had nearly killed him a few days earlier.

----

Nickie pulled up to the gym as she had arranged with Lolly. She got out as Lolly walked to the car, before Lolly could say anything Nickie took the girl and hugged her, "dammit girl...I'm so sorry this took so long, after everything that's gone on" she said, holding Lolly and giving her that motherly kiss on her forehead Nickie always gave her. "We got chocolate cake and shopping awaiting us young lady" she said taking Lolly's hand leading her to the car. When they got inside Nickie looked at her, she could tell the girl had been through hell. "It's just you and me kiddo and we got about 15 minutes till the coffee shop...so whatever you've been dying to get out into the open...feel free to let er rip" Nickie said with a grin as they began driving.

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Beau looked at Jason. The poor kid looked uncomfortable. As he should be. He was nearly taken his life. "Take the vest off, Kid, I'm gonna go hurt you." He said and then snickered. "Not that it would matter, You're a goddamn roach. Nobody survives a shotgun shell to the chest." He said and chuckled. He looked up at the kid. He cared about Jason and would kill for him just as fast as he would for Lolly. The kid just stared back at him. Not really sure what to do with himself. Beau himself, didn't know where to begin. He sighed and decided to go lead with his gift. He handed Jason the box. "Look, Jason. I know you. You're not that guy. I should have had the good sense to know, I heard wrong." He said thoughtfully. "I should have known you'd never do anything to hurt Lolly. Especially not that." He said and looked up at the kid. They weren't little kids anymore. He realized that now. "You look out for her. I know you would never hurt her...I should have thought before I reacted and I apologize" He said watching the boy's expression. Having an adult apologize to him, admitting they've made a mistake was something he wasn't use to. He could see that. He could also see that he was curious about the box. Beau gave a slight grin, it was hardly visible. "She has a knack for trouble as I'm sure you are well aware." He said with a slight chuckle. Jason chuckled himself. Beau looked away thoughtfully for a moment. Lolly had that way about her. She made you want to protect her. Even if she didn't know it. Her mother was the same way. "I figured. That could resolve any trouble that girl brings." He said and nodded for Jason to open the box. It was a silver plated Magnum .354. "It's loud, packs a helluva punch but reliable. Remind you of anyone?" He said with a laugh and stood up as Jason said his piece. He looked down at the kid. "Don't worry about any of that other stuff." he said referring to him and Lolly. "Nobody's gonna be good enough for my little girl but...You're close enough." He said with a laugh. "Oh. And, One more thing. Take that vest off." He said and handed Jason yet another box. This one was longer. "We'll do it offically later." He said and gestured for Jason to open the box. "You earned it."



Lolly smiled at Nickie. God she was tired. Nickie pulled her into a long overdue hug. Lolly nearly collasped in her arms, she wrapped her arms around and wanted to cry. Nickie told her plans and she smiled. It was weak and small but it was all she could muster.
They got in the car and Nickie told her to spill it. So she did. "I feel like a whore. I mean. How could I do that to Ria? She's my best friend? I mean, I didn't do it intentionally...I was just picking on Jason cause he's got a big mouth." She said and Nickie laughed. "Then things went crazy. I mean. First it was one thing but then...and Nicky. He...I..." Nickie looked at her for a second and asked what Nicky had to do with it. "Earlier, We were kissing, He wanted to go further but I told him I wasn't ready. He stopped right away too, so It wasn't like he was a jerk about it. Sure he disappointed but he let it go. Only for me to turn around and lose it to Jason...Like how does that sound?" She said and really didn't give Nickie a chance to responde. "I felt so werid afterwards. I didn't want him to touch me.Then I saw Ria's face and I felt horrible about it. I don't do well with guilt and Jason saw that.He was trying to talk me down. I figured that's what my dad heard. Jason putting it all on him. Like since when do I do anything I don't want to." Lolly threw her head back against the seat. "Then you guys actually believed he may have done that...to me?" She said still appauled at the idea. "I mean, Jason does crazy things when he's drunk. I'm well aware of that and he can be aggressive but he's not that guy." She said and it was then she realized that in saving his reputation, she'd tarnished her own. "I had to explain to you, Nicky and Ria, My Dad and Deacon and Jimmy how I lost my virginity. All while staring down Deacon's gun, an image that will haunt me for the rest of my life by the way." She said and sighed. "Then Jason walks out like everythings fine and dandy snatchin' on chips like it was saturday morning." She said. "He kept trying make sure I'm okay which made me feel ten times worse..." She felt so overwhelmingly tired. "I don't know how to fix this..."

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After Beau had said his piece, Jason looked at him for a moment, he felt awkward...but that had more to do with the fact that the last time he and Beau were this close he nearly got blown away let alone anything else. He looked at the gun Beau had given him for a moment. "It wasn't just sex" Jason said, drawing Beau's attention back. "Me and Lolly have slept together in the same bed hundreds of times...but this was different....well...mainly cause when we were kids she didn't feel the way she did that night lying beside me" he said with a smirk, he saw Beau look at him, somewhere behind his gaze he had scored points with Beau...how many teenage boys would have the guts to talk about a girl to her dad like that, but he wasn't being crude, he was being honest, which is what struck Beau. "Just so you know...it wasn't like I was using her to just get laid or something....it started out as a competition, and then....well....dammit I'll just say....she's gorgeous now....but if she had said stop, even if she had put her hand up to stop me...I'd never have gone any further, I'd never have done anything to her I thought she didn't want....but...it was me who tackled her, and I started it all" Jason said. Beau laughed and said his piece, then handed Jason a longer box. Jason looked confused as he opened it and his jaw dropped. Sitting in the box was a black leather cut, not with just the bottom rocker...but the entire patch, all three pieces, bottom rocker, top rocker and the Skull King patch. "You gotta be fucking kidding me" Jason said looking at Beau who just shook his head. "My dad okayed this?" he asked again, which again Beau just nodded. Jason slid it on, he'd always dreamed of having his own...even if it had been a prospect patch he'd have loved it. Beau then said he was honored to be the first one to welcome him to the club.

-----------------------

"Listen kiddo...I'm sorry you had to go through all this. Your first time should be special, it should be something you always remember, and have it be a good memory. And for the record...I don't think you're some slut, Jason doesn't either, any guy tells you otherwise you send them to Jason, and girl tells you otherwise you send the bitch to me....got it?" she said with a grin to Lolly. "Awww come on baby girl....show me that beautiful smile I know is hiding under there" Nickie said, trying to coax out a smile. She saw Lolly flash her a faint smile, her heart broke for the girl. Nickie wanted to wrap her arms around Lolly and make everything go away for her. "And Ria...she just needs time. I know Ria...and as angry as she may be....I doubt she literally hates you. But I can see her having trouble being around you for the next while. She's gotta process everything, she needs to walk through this on her own pace, and whenever she gets to the end of it....she'll probably look to come sort things out with you. You guys have gone through a lot, when she's ready, I'm sure she'll come find you" Nickie said with a reassuring grin, "and if she doesn't...well then fuck her, it's her loss" Nickie said with a grin. Lolly's attitude came to her naturally, but she definitely picked up some sass from Nickie as well. She was the kindest person around, but she did have a bad-ass streak in her, something that seemed to bond the two of them even closer. "You know I used to walk around Malibu worrying what every fucking person thought of me. What my friends thought, what their parents thought, strangers, teachers, and god don't even start on my mother....it nearly fucking killed me. Don't do that to yourself, take a look around you, find the people that are on your side...pull close to them....and then if everyone else wants to throw dirt on you....tell em to go to hell. And I guarantee you kiddo....I ain't ever leaving your side....and I'll fuck up anyone I hear calling you a whore" she said with a grin.

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Lolly looked up at Nickie. God, she loved this woman. Lolly never knew her own mother, she'd died when Lolly was a bitty baby so Nickie as far as she was concerned was. She was the only -respectable- female figure in her life. Lolly allowed herself a smile. A little bigger then before but not Lolly big. not yet.
"I will."

After a few hours of shopping, Nickie dropped Lolly off at home, just as Jason and her Dad finished talking. She was still not about to talk to him. She was glad,he was able to patch things up with everyone else but she'd been taking his shit for years. This was the straw. For everyone else, she was feeling guilty and therefore sad but with him. She was pissed and she was much too stubborned to just let it go.

She saw Jason as she walked in. He had the biggest grin on his face and her dad had one too though to anyone else it wouldn't even registered as a grin but she knew her dad. "Lolly." He said as she walked in. "How was..." Lolly walked right upstairs to her room and let the door slam. Beau looked at Jason. "I think Im'a need that vest." He said shaking his head.

Lolly sat in her room. She still needed to patch up the small holes in the wall where she stopped her father from shooting Jason a second time. She'd cleaned up the blood, though it was not trying to come out the sheets but of course it wasn't. It was Jason's blood after all. She just decided to throw those away and her and Nickie shopped for new ones. She got a pretty pink and green comforter set and just as she lay the comforter down, she heard someone at her door. She thought it was her dad so she didn't turn around until Jason made a smart ass comment about her 'girly room.'

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Nickie walked in as Lolly bolted to her room, Jason said he'd follow her. Nickie could tell Beau was frustrated, "Don't worry Beau...she just needs time to process everything. In all honesty between me, Deacon, Jason and Lolly...she's going to be the one most likely to kill you for what you did" she said with a smirk. "Listen Beau, she'll be fine....maybe I'll swing by and take her for another round of shopping therapy" Nickie said grinning. Beau talked about how he'd be feeling the last while, "you're a good man Beau, and you've raised Lolly good too, she'll come back around" Nickie said patting his shoulder. IT was then her eyes caught the cut lying on the table, it was way too new and crisp for that...members never changed their cut, they only owned one cut their entire lives. She turned it over and saw the patch on the back, she then turned it back around. "Who's cut is this?" Nickie asked, she was confused, Deacon hadn't mentioned any prospects getting patched in, and she knew all the prospects and none of them were close to the end of their evaluation anyway. Beau looked a little uneasy, "Fucking hell Deacon! I'm going to kill him" she yelled as she flew out the door.

------------

Jason walked into Lolly's room "so how long till the cops are looking for the person who stole Barbie's dream house?" Jason said with a grin.

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Beau sighed as Jason went upstairs after Lolly. He looked up as Nickie entered the living room. He nodded. "Yea, Probably..." He said to her comment and he just nodded to her taking Lolly shopping. "I keep screwing up with her...Everything I do just seems to piss her off..." He said and Nickie told him she just needed time. It was then her eyes fell on Jason's cut. "Uh...Nick..." He said holding up a hand but she was out the door. His shoulders dropped and he sighed "Ah hell..." He said palming his forehead. Between Her and Lolly. He was a dead man.



Lolly turned around with her jaw set. "Fuck you." She said and she knew immediately, that there was a pun in there somewhere and Jason felt the need to point that out. Lolly shot him a glare that actually shut him up for a second. He asked her what was wrong and she scoffed. "What's wrong?" She said. He knew the tone. It wasn't good. "Hmm. Let's recap. You. Were. Shot. By. My. Dad. He thought you raped me." She said, her nostrils flared. "I mean. How the fuck could he think you would do that?!" She barked. "And To me. I mean. It's me." She said with a smack to her chest. "Not only that. He thought I was a victim. Me. Like somehow. I'd just be sad that I was raped. I mean c'mon." She said pacing back and forth. Jason could see she was about to lose it and said something about what her dad overheard. "I don't give a flying fuck what he thought he heard. It's You! If he were anybody else right now, I'd....Ugh!" She screamed between clenched teeth. Jason said something about needing to calm down and he was fine. "Fuck that, You have the fucking constellations tattooed on your chest!" She barked. He said something about her dad making it up to him but she cut him off with a hand and a turn of her head. That usually meant Shut the fuck up, You're wrong but in this case it just meant shut the fuck up. "No. See that works for you. Because you didn't grow up with that. His fucking gifts don't work on me anymore. It worked when I was 10. Not anymore. I thought it was bad him missing my Quienquiera but this....this..I can't forgive him for this." She said shaking her head, clenching her fists, pacing back and forth. She really wanted to hurt something at that point. He started talking and She looked up at Jason. Her eyes fell on his chest and remembered how bad it really was. "You could have died..." She said, barely audible which was completely opposite from just a moment ago. "Jason, If you...I couldn't live with myself..." She said and was serious. If he would have died. She wouldn't have been able to take it. Hell, he'd been the only person who'd been trying to comfort her during this shit storm. He got Nicky to talk to her. He was actually defending her dad. If she'd lost him...things would have been bad.

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Lolly started ranting about her dad again, she was really starting to lose it. Finally Jason grabbed her, lifted her up and dropped her onto the bed, pinning her arms down until she quit kicking. "Will you CALM THE FUCK DOWN" Jason said grinning. She kept kicking and fighting and screamed at him, he wrapped his arms around her holding her tightly, she still kept fighting, sobbing now, Jason just held her. "Fuck everyone else, you got me who else do you need" Jason whispered to her as her fighting started to calm down. Eventually she calmed down and the two of them where just laying there, Jason holding Lolly in his arms. As he lay there Jason's hands, almost on their own, moved up ever so slightly from Lolly's waist to her stomach. They had fucked up once...but this was different than before. Holding Lolly in his arms felt different, her skin, the closeness they shared, it was all overwhelming whatever judgement he had.

--------

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Nickie's voiced echoed off the walls of Deacon's office at the clubhouse. "Ummmm I'll call you back" Deacon said hanging up. "Hi honey how was your day?" Deacon said with a sarcastic grin, he wasn't sure what he'd done so he was going to play dumb until he found out. "You promised...you FUCKING PROMISED ME you'd wait till he was 18 to bring him into the club!" Nickie screamed. Ahh, so that was it. "Can you keep your voice down" Deacon asked looking at his wife, "don't you fucking DARE TELL ME to keep my FUCKING VOICE DOWN!!!" Nickie screamed. The door opened as one of the members peeked in "Everything okay in here boss?" he asked, "FUCKING GO TO HELL!" Nickie screamed, hurling a paper weight at the door...where the member's head had been only moments before. Deacon got up and slapped Nickie across the face, she glared at him...but it was enough to snap her out of her tantrum. "Listen...he won't be doing anything for the club until he's 18....but after everything that's happened, guys figured it was time to bring him in" He hugged Nickie, she was still fuming, "Listen baby, he's my son too....I won't put him in any situation that he'd be in any danger". Nickie was slowly coming down, she knew Deacon would never endanger Jason, and she knew it was all eminent anyway...Jason was going to become a Knight and there was nothing anyone was going to do to change that.

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Lolly didn't even know what happened as she was lifted up, thrown down on her bed and pinned down. Had that been anyone else, she'd have broken his nose with her forehead but it wasn't anyone. It was Jason and Again, he held her down. This was were things went wrong. Her mouth continued to run until Jason said she had him, she didn't need anybody else. She looked up at him, through bleary eyes. It was then she noticed he was holding her she wasn't pinned. Her mind flashed back to that night. Everything about this moment was entirely different. She looked up him. He said she had him but did she really? Could he really be hers. Like this? Even though he'd been her first, they went in the proper state of mind but now..,. Her eyes fell on his lips as his hands slowly began to travel up her body. This was completely different from before. It was a competition then but now. This was...something else. The world seemed to disappear as she looked at Jason. He was just a kiss away. She knew that as her eyes kept falling from his eyes to his lips. Her hands suddenly found his chest, she knew actually where the pellets had entered his body. Her fingers travelled over the scars. This was all her fault. She heard what he said but it didn't change anything. She didn't have to bait him. She didn't. She could have left it alone but then again maybe "I think I wanted you to kiss me..." She said. Her voice a mere whisper. It hadn't even occured to her until now. Sure, the sex was a competition but before that. She knew he wouldn't back down from her challenge. He never did. "Somewhere in the back of my mind. I wanted you to kiss me and I suppose..." Her eyes were on his again. "That's why I challenged you...Because I knew you wouldn't back down...I think that's way I felt so guilty...because I wanted you too..." As her words trailed off, her eyes fell on his lips one more time before snapping back to his eyes.


Beau decided if Jason could handle his shotgun. He could handle whatever his 'other shotgun' could dish out. He decided, he'd go get a drink. He rode over to the clubhouse and watched as a Member narrowly missed getting his head concaved by a paperweight. A Mama came over with a glass and a bottle. Beau didn't even bother with the glass. The other member's had a whole new fear of Beau. Had any one had thoughts about Lolly they knew now Lolly was completely off limits. If he could blow away Jason Walker, the founder's son. He wouldn't think twice about killing any one them. Of course they didn't know the whole story. They knew a few things.One, Jason was shot. Two, by Beau and Jason was in Lolly's room when it happened. Rumors had spread as the reason why and no one was sucidal enough to ask any of the parties involve the truth so it was left to their imagination.
Beau didn't mind being the bad guy. Lolly had already told a room full of people who she lost her virginity. He didn't want to correct them as he'd have to explain all that. He knocked back the bottle. How was he gonna make things right with her?

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"I wanted to kiss you too" Jason said quietly, looking into her eyes. They were so close, he could swear he could feel Lolly's heart pounding as they looked at each other. They had just managed to explain away the first time, it was competition, but now...what was this. He saw Lolly's eyes looking at him, Lolly was the perfect match to him, she was the only person, let alone female, not afraid to challenge him and call him on his shit, she was "one of the guys", she knew all his secrets as he did hers, and as he'd already proved, he'd take a bullet...or several....for her, and he was pretty sure she would do the same for him. If they kissed, if they kept this up it would just make things more complicated, it would just make more issues with Ria and Nicky...maybe they could forgive once, but twice? But then again Jason wasn't one to be scared off by consequences if he thought the reward was worth it, and Lolly was definitely worth it. Jason leaned in and kissed Lolly's lips deeply, it wasn't the lust fueled sex they had in the field, this was all sorts of emotions he couldn't hope to explain coming out in one kiss, to hell with whatever the fallout would be.

------------------------

Deacon walked out of the office...everyone had heard Nickie screaming at him, and while they knew Deacon would mind his manners with his wife, nobody dared cross his path. With Beau and Deacon in the lounge, everyone pretty much cleared out of the clubhouse completely.

Deacon walked over sitting beside Beau motioning for a bottle. "Thank you for letting my wife see that cut"" he said in a matter-of-fact voice, Beau just laughed. "All kidding aside....I do need to thank you...." Beau looked at Deacon, who returned his look "for keeping your shotgun out of reach of my wife" Deacon said with a smirk as Beau laughed harder. Beau made a comment of how big a step this was for Jason, "you know what, the kid is more ready than any of us were when we got back....I mean let's face it...if we were his age, he'd kick both our asses" Deacon said with a chuckle. "Hell of a thing to get to the point where you realize your son is going to end up being better than you ever could" Deacon said with a grin.

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Lolly felt her heart pound so hard she thought she'd break a rib. He wanted to kiss her? She'd been feeling like she'd somehow manipulated him. Ria even said she knew how to work guys like puppets so Lolly believed that's what she'd done but then again. This was Jason. Like her, he never did anything he didn't want to do. The only reason he broke the bottle was because he wanted to kiss her and didn't know how to react with Ria there.

She watched his eyes. Nobody in the world knew her like he did. Not Ria, Not Nickie, Especially not her father. He was her other half but could they continue this? Could they -dispite everything- be together? If they kept this up. Then his words echoed in her mind. 'You got me,' he said, 'Who else do you need?' As that thought crossed her mind, she watched him lean in and bridge the gap between them. She kissed him back, her hands travelling up and around his neck. No longer caring about the consequences. She wanted this to be special. It was supposed to be special. Without all the drama. If Nicky or Ria ever found out about this, then they probably wouldn't forgive them but hell, He was right, She didn't need anybody else but Jason.


Beau watched as Deacon came over. Woo, Nickie put him through the ringer. He laughed at Deacon's sarcasm. He then thanked him to which confused Beau. He laughed even harder then. "Ya'know. This is a big deal. For Jason I mean. How old were we when we joined up?" He asked rhetorically. He chuckled as Deacon did. He then nodded at Deacon's comment. "It's a helluva thing to realize you're avoiding a 15 year old girl." he said. Deacon was about the only person, maybe aside from Jimmy that he would admit anything like that too. "Aria wanted to name her Nayer but no, I just had to name her after my favorite gun." He said knocking back a shot. "Loud, Obnoxious, Helluva a kick back, May break your damn wrist if you're not careful. Has a nasty little habit of getting under your skin." He said. Deacon at first thought he was talking about the gun. "Lolly to a T." He said and the men chuckled. Beau sighed thoughtfully. "Be glad you have a boy."

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Jason's hands slid down Lolly's back around her ass as he kissed her more deeply and passionately. The more he got into it, the more Lolly got into it, the two of them seemingly glued together as their lips never left each other's for more than a moment to breathe. Jason pulled Lolly's shirt up and over her head, then lowered her back down onto the bed, kissing her lips, then moving down to her neck, and down to her shoulders as he continued moving downward, Lolly's reactions to what he was doing just encouraged him to keep going further.

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Lolly kissed him breathlessly as his hands travelled down her back. She could hardly breath as his lips travelled down her body. Small moans escaped her lips as she ran her fingers through his hair. If she had any thoughts on stopping at any point before then they were out the window then as she helped him remove the rest of her clothes and she gingerly removed his shirt. She could see the wounds on his chest and all that did was make her press her lips against his. "I'm sorry, Jason." She breathed between kisses as her fingers slid over his scars gently. "I'm so sorry."

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"Well I got a few ideas of how you can make it up to me" Jason said with a grin as they kept going after each other, their clothes completely gone in almost as much time as it had taken in the field. "You're so gorgeous baby" Jason whispered to her, he didn't know why but he wanted Lolly so bad.

------

Jason laid on the bed, whatever happened in the field was nothing compared to what had just happened now. Jason had his arm around Lolly, holding her close, they felt like they had melted into each other. He was supposed to be the tough macho guy, but the feeling of Lolly curled up next to him, making the soft noises she was making was something he couldn't get enough of. Jason kissed Lolly's forehead as they lay together, this time they weren't having to race back to a barn. "I don't know if this was a mistake or not...but I don't give a damn, this feels way to good right now" Jason said whispering into Lolly's ear, and he grinned at her response. "Just don't move...cause if you're dad comes through the door you're my human shield" Jason said with a grin as Lolly elbowed him.

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Lolly lay with her head on his chest, keeping clear of the scars from the shotgun blast. This was all her fault. She knew that. And though, It was amazing this time and she loved him telling her how beautiful she was or how bad he wanted her that and she couldn't believe how much him kissing her neck effected hery yet she still felt so guilt. Having not spoken to Ria in a little over a week. Technically weren't they still together? Though Ria hadn't even seen Jason yet she never told him it was over... officially.

She knew Jason was the best person for her, laying with him felt perfect, as if they fit together like puzzle pieces yet, she felt bad. She kne, he didn't but she was, typically, the responsible one. The voice of reason. She typically talked him out of doing something stupid but this. Now, Having him all to herself like this. She didn't want to see reason. She just wanted this. She wanted him. However, She was a realist. She knew didn't deserve him. Not after everything that happened. What she did to her best friend. What her father did and tried to do. Karma was a bitch, she realized. She sleeps with her best friend's boyfriend, feels bad, then while he's trying to console her. Her dad nearly kills him. If that wasn't Karma. She didn't know what was. She knew now that this would have repercussions. Otherwise she wouldn't feel this way.

It was then that Jason kissed her forehead. He used to do that all the time, like anytime, her dad had to leave and she couldn't go or when her dad missed her birthdays. But now even that felt different. She looked up as he whispered how good it felt. "Yea...Way too good." She said and he grinned. Naturally, he missed the deeper meaning. He then joked about her dad walking in. She elbowed him, careful of his chest. She sat up and sighed. "I've had enough of being a human shield thanks." she said. He looked at her confused. "Your dad was gonna kill my dad for shooting you. I jumped in front of the gun. Scariest shit ever." She said dropping her chin in her hand.

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Jason grinned, "you know my dad would never hurt you...he probably likes you better than me sometimes" he said grinning, even though it didn't help Lolly's mood. Jason could tell when Lolly's head was somewhere else, and unfortunately that was the case now. "Hey...whatever you're running through your head right now...stop it" he said, as she looked at him. "I mean it, maybe I don't think enough, but you think too much. We fit together too well, I mean I liked Ria, and I still think she's great and all...and I don't feel that great hurting her like that...but if I had to pick, I gotta say I'd pick you every time" Jason said, one of those rare moments he was actually opening up...which really only happened with Lolly. "We can work things out with Ria and with Nicky...maybe Ria will be pissed for awhile, but there's no way she'd hate either you and me forever....same with Nicky....we're all too tight to have that happen. Just like my dad and your dad....who the fuck else could still be living right now after shooting me other than your dad? Even if my dad was on the verge of shooting him...it's my dad...if he wants somebody gone, they're gone period. And honestly, if they can't get over it...then fuck it....sure it was fucked up the way it happened, and they got reasons to be pissed....but like I said for me...I got you, that's all I care about, you're the only one I could never stand to lose" Jason said looking into her eyes.

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Lolly looked at Jason and tears fell from her eyes. She wanted to be with him, she did but...Things would go horribly wrong if they continued. It already happened once. She'd almost lost him then. She couldn't take it if she actually did. "But...think about it Jason. If we never..." She gestured to the both of them. "Then you wouldn't have been shot. Karma. Jason. We did something horrible and something horrible happened to us...Don't you see that?" She said. She knew she was torturing herself by doing this but she honestly felt she deserved this. She felt like a horrible person. Had the roles be reverse and she were in Ria's shoes. There'd be nothing stopping her from flipping her lid. They couldn't be together as much as it killed her. "You won't ever lose me but this...like this...We can't." She said and couldn't look at him. She was afraid of his reaction, which never happened. Jason could scream, bark, snap and swing at her and she would scream,bark, snap and swing back normally but now, she was scared and not that he would hit her or scream but that he would hate her too. Just like Ria.

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"How many times do I have to tell you that Karma shit is just bull shit. And do you know how I know? Cause maybe you forgot, but I remember what our dad's do for a living. If Karma is real then why the fuck are we all still here? If Karma is real then we're all fucked anyway", Jason's heart was pounding, he didn't open up on many occasions, and now he was and he was getting shot down. "Why can't we be together. What we did wasn't horrible...it was the wrong way to do it, but neither you or me were going out there to intentionally hurt either Nicky or Ria. It happened....shit happens....that's fucking life, and torturing yourself because you feel bad about something isn't worth it." Jason said turning Lolly to look at him. "Besides this..." he pointed to his chest "wasn't horrible...if anything this was one of the best things to happen. Me walking away from this is the main reason my dad's allowing me to get patched in, with a full patch. Forget this Karma stuff Lolly...I want to be with you, and I know you feel the same way...so what's so hard about that". Jason said.

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Lolly flinched as Jason turned her to him. Her head was down, her face hidden behind her curly hair, she was crying fully then. Lolly never cried. Jason knew that. She'd broken her arm in three places when she was 5 and didn't cry but now, faced with the fact that she couldn't allow herself to be with Jason. It was too much. "It's not hard. Jason. It's...It's...not right!" She said her voice raising to a crescendo. She was trembling. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself. Her eyes closed tight. "I want to be with you. I do...Maybe you don't believe in Karma but I do and so far...I can't let anything happen to you, Jason and if we keep this up...I know something bad will happen." She said and turned away from him, sobbing. "I still have nightmares of seeing you bleeding out on my bed. You'd gone so pale so fast..." She said, her voice breaking as she cried. She felt sick, her head hurt and as did her chest. She'd never seen Jason down like that and what made it worse was her fault. Atleast that's how she felt. "It was horrible." She said softly."I can't see that again..." She said, finally looking up at him through bleary red eyes. "I can't."

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"Listen....it wasn't your fault okay, your dad heard something and jumped to conclusions, if anything it's more MY fault than yours" Jason said, putting his arms around her as she cried. "Listen, if you want to be with me what the hell else matters? So what if you believe in Karma, you believed there was a monster in your closet till you were 13...you were wrong back then and you're wrong now. Listen, even if we didn't get together I can't go back to Ria now anyway" Jason said looking into Lolly's eyes.

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Lolly cried in his chest as he held her. He didn't get it. Of course he didn't believe in Karma the way she did. He wasn't the type of person to concern himself with consequences. She was. He couldn't put two and two together. He keeps blaming himself. She baited him. He'd broken the bottle. He ended the game. He actually had enough sense to quit while he was ahead. She didn't. The more she thought about it. The clearer it became. It was her fault. All of it. From the very beginning. Now, faced with the same scenario. She could stop it, even if Jason didn't see it. She looked up at him as he spoke about being wrong about Karma. "I'm not wrong, Jason." She said as their eyes met again. Her heart began to race. "I'll make this right for you two." She said and it occured to her how bad this must of have been for Ria. After all, her first time was with Jason too, The exact same night. Only to have him cheat on her with her supposed best friend. Lolly was too busy wallowing in her own self pity to realize that. "I have to make this right..." She said and pulled away from his arms and felt unreasonably cold. She leaned up and kissed his forehead. She was so scared he was gonna hate her too. "I'm sorry but I can't..." She said and turned away. "Not until I make this right somehow." She said, roughly wiping her tears. "please don't hate me..." She whispered so softly, it was hardly audible.

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Jason couldn't stand listening to it, mainly because of what it meant. "You ARE wrong" Jason said, his voice raising a bit, it had taken him this long to figure out his feelings for Lolly and now she was telling him she couldn't, it was wrong. "You keep saying you can't...why now is this the only time I've ever heard you use that word...with this, with us...NOW you can't do something?" Jason wasn't going to cry, that would never happen, however if he wasn't going to do that it had to be replaced with something else, and Walkers were known for their predisposition to anger. "Dammit Lolly you don't ever give up on anything, if anything you fight harder for it, so why can't you do that now? Because this IS right, the two of us together...hell, you were the one who taught ME to not give a fuck about what other people thought..." Jason's voice trailed off, "I mean how the hell do I just walk away and pretend like this never happened?" he said quiet looking at her.

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Lolly jumped as Jason's voice rose. Suddenly, her fear -which she wasn't good at handling to begin with- turned to anger. But she somehow managed to keep her words calm. "You don't get it, Jason. I'm not giving up. I'm using the good sense to stop while we're ahead. Like you did at the party. You had enough sense to stop things before they got started but I pressed the issue. It's not even about what they think. It's about what we did. What I did." She said shaking her head. She couldn't believe that she was telling him no. After all this time, She knew she had feelings for him, Long before this. Now that he had feelings for her too and they couldn't be together. Oh the irony.

She watched as he managed to calm down. She didn't want to have this conversation anymore. If he hated her forever, then fine. It was better him hate her while he was alive then love her and be dead. If he could only understand karma the way she did, then he'd get that. They wouldn't be having this conversation. Then his next question struck a nerve. She turned to him. How were they suppose to deal with that? They'd done it twice now. The first time had her mind so messed up, she almost slipped off the uneven bars during training. She took a deep breath. She didn't know how she'd deal with it but if she could somehow get him back with Ria... She ran her fingers through her hair. "I'll talk to Ria...She probably blames me anyway and she'd right to because it was my fault all of this happened...I'll make sure she knows that." She said and grabbed her top from the floor, with trembling fingers. "If she can forgive us...then...maybe..."