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a character in “The Love We Had”, originally authored by SugarCoatedVanilla, as played by RolePlayGateway

Description

"I can feel the hurt. There's something good about it. Mostly it makes me stop remembering." โ€• Albert Borris


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๏ผฐ๏ผฅ๏ผฒ๏ผณ๏ผฏ๏ผฎ๏ผก๏ผฌ๏ผฉ๏ผด๏ผน
      Judgmentalโœง Careless โœฆ Overbearingโœง Selfishโœฆ Depressive โœง Rigid

      Judgmental
      She tends to be hard on herself most of all, as has always told herself that she has to be the best at everything. There was no room for feeble mistakes in her family so she always felt pressured. that she needed to do everything exactly the way it should have been done. Every move she made she would have to turn down and judge herself thinking whether not not it should be the right move or not. When she looked at other people by the way they acted and dressed she would judge them upon it only to reflect on herself . She never knew if she was good enough and often times it showed in her actions. When people look at her all they see is a cheerful person, but when you look on the inside people never see how doubtful and hard she is on herself.
      Careless
      In her eyes she think that she is the only one suffering. She sees everyone around her happy and smiling wanting to spend time with her as much as she can, but all if it couldn't matter to her. She doesn't care about how others feel and the ones who know about what she does beg her to stop but she can. Hurting herself gets rid of the pain of reality and its all she wants.
      Overbearing
      Those that who she is and how she really is tend to think that she is overbearing. They don't see how she things affect her and push her away from them. She is full of doubts and when she opens her mouth they all seem to slip out. She s yet to find someone who is willing to listen to everything she has to say and try and ease her in a gentle way. But then again, no one cares.
      Selfish
      To Astrid its her own world and everything revolves around herself. Nothing in her eyes matters to her at all. her days of crying have been driven away by the lack of care she was given. Feelings of caring about others feel idiotic because in the long run she will only be hurt and left like a dog in the dirt.
      Depressive
      Astrid is a victim of depression. Her thoughts alone seem to center around it as if she cannot get it off her head. She is hopeless about her life and she could careless about her life. All she wants is to numb her pain in her heart. When she cuts herself it takes a place in her heart, seeing the blood makes her feel as if she is actually alive, it fascinates her in another way. It convinces her that there is nothing to worry about anymore and that the pain of reality will one day fade away. She will simply be forgotten and one say her mere existence will no longer be remembered.
      Rigid
      One thing she tends to despise is change. Her life has always been changing and she is sick of it. At this point in time she tends to reject any sense of change. Its not one of the things she likes and does her best to avoid it. She wanted this to stay the same since she was young, but nothing is as she dreamed as a kid. Change is the only thing that goes through her life and she doesn't want it.


So begins...

j's Story

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