The Multiverse » Arcs » Dead n' Screwed - Never Stupid

Ulrich Paternosta visits the WCPD to address concerning information & a tarnished reputation. Looks like the night just got a whole lot more dangerous.

As written by: Princess Awinita, lostamongtrees


10 pieces and 2 characters involved, written by 2 different authors.

1 places involved




So begins...

Dead n' Screwed - Never Stupid


Wing City Police Department: First FloorSetting: Wing City Police Department: First Floor


A puff of a cigarette wafted from the mouth of the anthro feline man. "Look, I told Smirnoff and the others, we got this..... yeah, just get Weekly down there with the camera and it'll be all set... What ? Yeah we've managed so far, no real lava floes to worry about thank god." John Blacksad was one of a few policemen still on durty in a shell of a police department. "Yeah, the quake was strange let me tell you, Never lost power here though. I was told it was worse downtown at the Main Enternce to the city..... yeah exactly just have Weekly go down there with a camera and get shots, let him do what he does best." John Blacksad, detective, reduced to phone keeper in a shell of a department that most of which deserted or just plain stopped going into work due to issues pertaining to local gangs doing the protection rackets.

"Yeah, we got this.... laters Jerry" John hung up the phone and tried to relax, it wasnt rthe best office, the cubicle was the basic set up really. "Asshole" John muttered, his feline ears picked uyp the shrill tone of Smudgie ,the Gardener was helping someone, a woman by sound of it.

The phone went off again. John picked it up after two rings. "Blacksad.... Oh hello Joe.... Yeah nothings going on here, things have for the most part settled after that blue guy left. Yeaqh most of the department is gone too. What ? Not that i know of no.... yeah course I can get a car, what time ?.... Alright good I'll pick up the goods, and meet you after work is over.... Alright see you then" John hung up the phone, a smirk on his fgace, he had something to look forwards to after hell was over, or in this case his current shit of a shift at the police department
Ulrich waited patiently for the busy feline to notice him. He didn't have much patience, granted, but when business as dire as such was at hand...One learned to wait.

After the feline took a third call, somehow still not noticing him, Ulrich cleared his throat.
Johns nose twitched and he heard the clearing of a throat. "Yeah yeah, state your business." He said in a professional tone. "As you can see we're rather understaffed at this moment, We can only do so muc,h if you're looking for protection, I can poiint you at one of the local gangmongers in the city." He said to the new arrival who just had his attention.

He held a finger up real quick as the ophone once more rang "Police departmet, Just a moment" He covered the mouthpiece "Hey, Desk sixty two, Its your wife on line 4" The guy waved him off and answered the phone allowing John to hang up his phone.

He turned back to his citizen in need of his help. In this case Ulrich "So what's buggin you ?" No where had he seen this guy before ?
Ulrich barked out a laugh.

"Local gangmongers'eh? I'on s'pose de Detahnt made yer list, tho I s'pose yeh answered mah main concern. I'on s'pose yeh know anythin' bout a Sabbat? Terrorists? Vampires? Breakin' the creeds n'shit? Y'know, doin' dirty by the alliance?"

As he spoke Ulrich's tone descended from entertained to annoyed. He flashed a quick-fanged smile at desk sixty-two. Understaffed, or out of touch?
So much for slow day.

John dragged a black skinned paw over his white chin. Oh where to begin. "No, gangmongers as in the guys reunning the protection rackets here in the city, the Dente Unfortunately deflined an offer to be one of said rackets as I recall hearing quite plainly from my chief some time before we became as you now see us, 'Not in their jurdistiction' So as of right now we're severly understaffed thanks to the protection rackets, we're more like glorified puppets at this point"

He set both elbows on his desk however as he focused on Ulrich "Sabbat ?" He asked in a rather focused tone, his words calm and in many levels had a growl behind them as well. The last time he had gone against vampires, or anything supernatural really was thanks to the fucker with the energy derinks that wrecked half the department and left it in the sorry state it was currently in.

The fanged smile had his attention, so John smirked slightly and briefly flashed his own feline fangs in return as he smirked. "Look around you, you think we got the resources to hunt Them ? Even with a dozen more men ready to go in full vampire hunting gear, we're understaffed thanks to a fucker with an energy drink" The them he meant was trhe Sabbat, he had dealt with them once before, way back, back before becoming a cop.

He hit a button, locking his door and effectively soundlocking him and Ulrich in his little cubicle of a sort so others couldnt hear or eavesdrop. "Why me ?"
The door clicked shut for privacy and Ulrich attempted another smile- this time friendly. It was more of a grimace but he hoped his words would provide proper context.

"The Forces Vankoryth are willin' to...assist, seein' as while yer city ain' our jurisdikon them bloodsuckers can be consider'et. Resources w'cn provide. Nah full hunter gear," Ulrich pat at his utility jacket and rummaged furiously. Finally he fished out a foil square. He slapped it on the desk, leaned in, and lowered his voice to almost a whisper.

"Prototype. Pill. Vampyric immunity, foundeh' somewhere 'bout the-yknowwat where i'from ain't imporn't."

Ulrich folded his arms and stood to his full height, looking John dead in the eye.

"s'Problem we'd like t'see gone, y'hear?"
John had an ace up his sleeve, so it was time to play it. "Alright Ulrich, you got my attention. But I want you to tell me a fgew things. How many Sabbatist fucks is she to exepct ?" It was a simple question. The Battusai had slain doizens of vampires since being so rudely woken up from her gravesite. "Will the Forces Vankoryth be willing to allow her to do her work alone, unhindered, unhunted ?"

The she he referred to was a skillful soldier from ages ago, at elast as far as he had learned personally about her when he had met her oh so briefly in passing mentions thanks to patrol reports. Kamerilah Wolfe was possibly the deadliest thiong on Terra at that moment, unless her daughters also had that wonderful three days of the month too. Three supposed to be dead yet clearly mortal women not so dead all on their period, and hunting vampires while at it.

It was simple to answer, then again it was not so simple to answer, it was more a simple question. Ulrich had gone to John because he apparently trusted John, or the fact that John was the only cop in the department still actually with a proper desk that was not held up by cinder blocks. it was not easy to tell. John reached for his phone. "Tell you what, the minute you answer those questions, I will dial this phone and call her, and she will go to your folks for the information she will need to begin the hunting season properly. Agreed ?"
"Lessputitthisway," Ulrich leaned in and rolled up a sleeve. The two seemed to be more on the same page than most. Ulrich liked that.

"Teh Detente don't give a damn waht haster be done. They fuckinnup peace b'tween all Hell else n'hCursed Wood. Goin' 'gainst our treaties n'shit. Now I don' care fer vampirico-politico. I known a treaty, and I known war, and I known stupid."

He nudged the pill closer and nodded, "n'I Ain't stupid."
John smiled, his faked maw quite clean as he chuckled. He too knew stupid, and the Sabbat were all kinds of stupid, from normnal stupid to fucking stupid to 'stupid into stupid, carry the stupid'. "Perfect" He said simply, he picked up the phone and hit the speed dial, number 153. It rang twice and he spoke into the mouth piece. "Hello Kamerilah ?.... Oh, Hello Yin, could you get your mother, its John.... Hello, Kamerilah ? its John." He cast a glance towards Ulrich as he picked up the pill "I got a job for you.... You up for some hunting ?"

Less than a minute and the call was over. John set the phone in its cradle. "She's on her way to your bosses now, but she gave a condition that she wouldnt give me, said she'd only tell your bosses. That is doable yes ? There's also the matter of her payment, she wont need this, nor will I, but I might know someone who will. Then again I am not sure if Wanda will need it." John knew it was a prototype, and hopefully Wanda could figure it out.

He smirked, "A man after my own heart. I hate politics, most of why we're so short staffed here is not just to the goddamned energy drink bloodfest we had here a few weeks back or so. But because of poltiical shit going down most of the guys jumped ship. I'm tempted to myself but the pay is great here" Sure it wasnt the Ritz or even the MGM Grand but hey, where John lived was a nice one floor apartment with a large garage. perfect for him really.

John held up a hand though the meeting was far from over, it was only over when Ulrich felt it was over. "When I mentioned Kamerilah on the phone, I expected some sort of shocked reaction, but all I get is a raised eyebrow ? you must have seen some shit to give that much of a reaction to someone like her" Of course if history served, during the fall of the Edo period of Japan, and the Shogunate crumbling a woman known only as the Manslayer, Kamerilah had appeared. then suddenly as she apepared she vanished without a trace.

For all John knew, Ulrich witnessed Kamerilah in battle some where, but he wasnt exactly a betting man so he had no idea if the guy in his office had a history with his vampire hunter.
Ulrich didn't flinch, didn't blink, didn't swallow, didn't move a single muscle aside the eyebrow- but ever cell in his body felt as if it washed through the floor. Did he say Kamerilah?

Kamerilah. That was a name Ulrich knew-and respected. Do you know what it took to earn Ulrich's respect? How about killing motha-fuckin-every-undead-one without so much as breaking a sweat? Howboudat?

"Heard th'name, know of 'em," Damn straight! Who the hell were either of 'em kiddin'. She was a ghost legend when he's from!

Oh and they were going to the Castle, was that it? Ulrich held up a finger to excuse himself, turned to the side, and let out a series of clicks and noises that were unbearable to all but members of the Forces Vankoryth. There. Now at least maybe they'd get a lick of notice. He'd be sure to also send Daemala a message, so her highness didn't bitch his ear off too much later.

He nodded at the pill.

"s'Gift, from teh Dehtahnt ter th'Dubya See Pee Dee. Use it as yeh best seein' fit. Thank yeh' Blacksad. Heard good shit 'bout you n'rumor proves true. Get'n m'ass rang out fer this'n but," Ulrich leaned in a bit and winked, "Nobody ain't ever gon be callin' us stupid."

He stuck his hand out across the desk to shake his hand.

"Th'Treaty Continues."