Taylor stirred, the icy winds prodding him from his sleep. Cold surged through his veins, even while being buried beneath a pile of coats. He looked first towards Enzo; He seemed to be sleeping comftorable, his legs cloaked in frost. Ice clung to hair, giving it a greyish tint. The same staunch expression was painted across his face, even in sleep. Taylor shook lazily, snow drifitng from his hair, only then noticing Claire leaning against his shoulder. He paused, feeling slightly apologetic for a gesture that was sure to wake her.
The woman's eyes fluttered open, unfocused at first. She straightened up, then turned her head to look at the man who's shoulder she had been laying on. "Taylor!" she whispered, somewhat surprised. "You're awake. How are you doing?" she asked. Her hand moved up to move a cascade of blonde hair over her shoulder. "Any better?"
Taylor watched her for a moment, indifference painted his expression. He turned, resting his head against the oak and gazing off into the landscape. Half of him was watching Enzo, while the other wasn't quite watching anything. He rested half in reality and half in sad disillusion. "Do you care?" The words were dry, emotionless. He lifted a hand to graze the area beneath his eyes. This was a man whos given his life to his God and his country. He's devoted all that he could to the good of others. Previously, he could take solace in the tender grasp of his friends and family, yet like petals of a rose, those he looked so strongly to for support have fallen away.
"We've spoken maybe twice before. I have no interest in another fair weather friend, especially one whos intents are so thinly veiled. I'm on this mountain, baring this cold because your friend dragged me up here." Taylor's voice quivered, failing in strength as he went. His words were harsh, painful, yet anyone could tell they were missplaced. He was a kind soul, yet harsh winds had masked his empathy.
He moved to wipe another tear from beneath his eye.
Claire, for a moment, scowled at his words, but quickly pushed down any anger or ill will that flashed by in her mind. "It's not as if...we're doing this to hurt you, Taylor." she insisted, raising a hand to lay on his shoulder. Her grip was firm, but not harsh. She searched for what next to say, though the words were fleeing from her, chased away by her own doubts. She did not want to tell him that it was the right thing to do. She was not so sure if it was, herself. This was not a voluntary act. This was not how it was supposed to happen.
"I am concerned." she said finally, eyes moving to the ground. She dropped her hand from his shoulder, laying them in her lap. "I know that Enzo's actions may seem...harsh...but he has concerns of his own. He genuinely believes that you will be able to lead us." She paused, looking up at the sky. "I would like to believe that you are strong enough, as well. Even through the sacrifices you've made."
Taylor looked to her as she grasped at his shoulder. He saw it, the doubt. Its dripped from her mouth when she spoke and it rested on her shoulders when she moved. He wanted to comfort her, to assure her of herself. It was what he was best at; Taylors charisma and pure heart led him into the heart of his people. But, they pledged their support for a man whom Taylor wasnt sure he could muster. So instead, he simply took her hand, running his thumb over it before gazing back out into the white. "Don't doubt yourself. I'm weak, this was never the life for me."
He took a breath, a blueish hue taking to his cheeks. "I'm just so tired."
"Yes. Yes, I know." she said. "I know." Her bright blues pinned on him again, wandering about his face. "But it will be alright."
...was it going to be alright? She thought about everything he had endured. His step father's death, the...seperation...with Liz. She picked at the sides of her fingers, in a way that was nervous. "You can rest for a while longer. He isn't awake yet." She knew that it was more than that, however.
"You must be tired from everything else, too. You're going through so much."
Taylor shivered, the cold eating through the layers of his coat. He wraped his arms together, hunching his shoulders in an attempt to fend off the ever bitter cold. He shook his head at her request, peering down at his boots. "Dreams are lonely now. Dark." He looked towards her, rubbing the back of his hand against the stubble beneath his chin. "You speak of my sacrifices, but what about yours? Do you regret leaving everything behind? Your family and you friends, they're gone. You could of been in their for eternity, yet you became a Hand any way. Why?"
Claire's expression became somber. Her hands clasped together, laying atop her lap. "That's a question I wonder about, myself. However, when I remember my faith, and I keep my heart in the right place, I don't have to think very hard. My family, my friends, any loves I left behind..." She faded off, lids narrowing over her eyes. "Yes, well. It's a difficult topic. Perhaps we may speak about it another time. Get some more sleep. You've got a long path ahead of you."
The doubts, the doubts. Swirling in her head. They were growing, but she could not let them take her over now. She had only recently ended her trial.
Taylor noded, pressing back against the tree. He sunk into his makeshift shelter, attempting to force himself to sleep.
Claire finally lifted her eyes to his face again, and heaved a large, regretful sigh.
Forgive me, Taylor. We really shouldn't be doing this.