- Darren Samson was born on the thirtieth of November, 1989 to Darren Samson Senior and Samantha Samson nee Rob. As queer as his little family may be, they are quite a close knit group and tend to exaggerate their affection in public as if to prove that their family cell is the closest and most interesting one out there.
- Darren himself is a perky young man who often enjoys a spot of busking outside the local shopping centre or even Gambit's Bar (although he's been warned many a time not to risk it; some people just couldn't appreciate a bit of Brit). He has few close friends and many acquaintances from school and artist events he takes part in now and again, but feels that he is at that period in life where he requires more than the plucking of a guitar string to sate his dreams -- perhaps the plucking of some heartstrings is in order?
- By no means unattractive, Darren has had his fair share of medium-term relationships, one night flings and 'the one' has been found several times already. According to one of his peers, the problem isn't that he's a commitmentphobe or a terrible boyfriend, but that he perhaps hasn't embraced his entire sexuality quite yet and just needs to broaden his horizons a bit if he wants to find the right person to settle down with (and, let's face it, he isn't going to find that person whilst busking on the streets or singing in run down pubs, is he? This isn't a romantic comedy).
- Darren has a few quirks, the most obvious being that he's a complete Britney Spears fan. If he isn't singing Britney, he's singing someone who did a cover of Britney, and if he isn't singing that, he's probably eating or sleeping. This young man is intelligent, although not in the educated sense. He couldn't tell you how to factor a polynomial or write down the equation of a sine wave, but he's charismatic and quick on the uptake of practical skills. At school, home economics and technological studies were his forte.
- As well as these few oddities, Darren also carries numerous legal pads with him, upon which he notes ideas, thoughts and feelings about particular sights, sounds or smells. He isn't quite sure why. Darren enjoys games of Noughts and Crosses, especially when they're impromptu - like on a foggy bus window or on some unsuspecting citizen's back - and tends to be fascinated by pans, the justification for which is that 'they're just so damn useful'. Finally, Darren abhors staring competitions. Not only does he think they're a waste of time, but he's had a lifelong fear of his eyes drying out midway through a competition and becoming blind. It is believed that stemmed from nightmares of a creepy kid at school who used to stare a lot, wherein the child would remove Darren's eyes with a Bagpuss spoon.
- Finally, Darren has decided that his ultimate goal in life is to meet Britney Spears and be her backing vocals. Failing that, Darren has decided that he would quite happily settle for marrying a Brit-look-a-like, someone who loves Britney as much as he does, or someone who can stand him singing her songs and not become jealous about it.