Name: ?? This guy, yes guy, who calls himself by the name Joan of Arc. He is very smart intellectually, but horrible in wisdom. He tends to ask people if they are virgins or not.
Me: *rolls a 7*
DM: Heh, where you putting that stat.
Me: ... Aren't you going to let me re-roll that? >> Like you did the 8 for Chris.
DM: Nope.
Me: ...
Chris the Barb: That's kinda mean.
DM: So where is it going?
Me: You'll regret this.
DM: No, I won't.
Me: Wisdom.
DM: In Wisdom? She is going to have a 7 wisdom?
Me: He.
DM: He? Why a he? We already have so many he...
Me: Regretting it?
DM: No. What's his name?
Me: Joan of Arc.
DM: ... So it is a she?
Me: He. 7 wisdom, remember?
DM: ... Okay, what class is he?
Me: Warlock.
DM: Okay, lets start the adventure...
***starting***
DM: You come to a city that is floating in the clouds, a flying boatman is willing to let you take his ride for a fee. After agreeing and flying up to the city, a conversation starts up. "Where ye be from travelers?"
Me: "France."
DM: "Where be France?"
Me: "... I'm not sure, are you a virgin?"
DM: "... No."
Me: "Ah, damn..." *takes out a live chicken from the cloak*
DM: "What are you doing?"
Me: Science. *drops the chicken in attempt to make it land on another ferries head, 16, hit, boat crashes into another one, chaos*
Barb: "Haha, oh wow."
LG Cleric: "...*grumble*"
DM: *watches* "Get off my boat.
Me: "That's cool, I can fly." *casts flight*
Cleric: "Wait, we paid for you and you can fly?!"
Me: "Huh?"
DM: ((You can fly?))
Me: ((For 24 hours, yeah.))
DM: ((What?!))
Me: ((Hey, you let me roll Warlock.))
DM: ((...))
Me: ((Regretting it yet?))
***
DM: Your party beats the ship full of pirates with ease, especially the warlock who was just flying out of the range of there swords.
Me: ((Haha! Teach them not to buy bows!))
DM: One remains alive, only slightly hurt. He is unarmed after the ordeal and begs for his life.
Barb: "Let's kill him."
Cleric: "No! He is unarmed!"
Me: "Wait, wait. I got this." *walks up to the pirate, speaking very seriously* "We have killed your captain, your fellow crew, and now it is only you and us. I only have one question for you: Are you a virgin?"
DM: The rusty old pirate gives you an odd look, "Um... yes?"
Barb: "... Eh?"
Cleric: "..."
Me: "Oh thank the gods! Finally a virgin! This city is horrible, not even the little kids are virgins! Everyone said they were not, gods finally!" *takes out a dagger and stabs him in the gut* "I sacrifice him to my god!" *guy dies*
Barb: "Aw... I wanted to..."
Cleric: "What?! No! You did not just sacrifice him to your god! What are you doing?! What evil god do you worship?!"
Me: "Huh? Moradin?"
Cleric: "The god of dwarves? You're human... and he is good!"
Me: "Yes, but everyone knows that Moradin is just a front for Wee Jas."
Cleric: "What?!"
Barb: "Haha! Oh wow!"
DM: ((*Is uncontrollably laughing.*))
Barb: ((*Is as well.*))
Cleric: ((*Not amused,* Wait, isn't your warlock chaotic good?!))
Me: ((Yeah, he just doesn't know any better.))