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Shane McKenna

I'm normal...no...really...I am.

0 · 294 views · located in Sol Avenue

a character in “The Multiverse”, originally authored by FizzGig, as played by HazySystem

Description

Here, this is a picture of me.

Image

I took this on my phone three days before my mom took me to visit a psychiatrist. She said he wanted to talk to me about the things I had been saying to myself when I thought no one was listening, the things I did when I thought no one was watching. She said he wanted to help me.

I didn’t know I needed to be helped.

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“So tell me about yourself, Shane? Your mom told me that you like to talk to yourself when you’re on your own. I don’t think you’re talking to yourself at all. I think there is someone talking to you.”

I stare at him, wondering how he might have guessed. I’m sure he deals with this all the time, crazy people, that is. He thinks I’m crazy. They all do. Ever since I grabbed that scalpel and nearly threw it at the kid who had been teasing me during fourth period Chemistry.

Cale says he deserved it.

“Who is Cale, Shane?”

He shows me a hand-written note that I don’t recognize. I don’t understand. My handwriting is usually very neat. I’ve always prided myself on my handwriting. The note was written to me, from Cale. He was telling me about how much of a weakling I had been, to not walk over and kill that kid where he stood. He said I was too soft. He said he would fix this.

“I can’t talk about him.” I reply, looking down at my hands, at the cuts that laced my wrists. Mom didn’t want me to wear long sleeves today. She wanted me to show the Psychiatrist. She said he would help.

He wasn’t being very helpful.

He adjusts in his seat, leaning forward and gazing at me as if he was trying to read into my thoughts. I stare back.

“You know, Cale isn’t real Shane. He can’t do anything to harm you. You can certainly talk about him here. This is a safe place.”

I feel this sense of hollowness in my chest, and it’s more and more painful as I look at this man. So easy for him to say these things. I can feel my hands going numb. There is a ringing in my ears, and I feel as if I am looking at the scenario from twenty feet away.

Like I’m in a fog.

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“NO WHERE IS SAFE!” I scream, but it isn’t my voice.

It’s Cale’s.

So begins...

Shane McKenna's Story

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#, as written by FizzGig
Her steps were measured, carefully placed one after the other. She had her head tilted downward, earbuds jammed into her ears in an effort to block out her thoughts. One voice, one very loud, acerbic voice was screaming at her from the confines of her own mind, and she was doing her best not to submit, to yell back, to break the fragile casing of normalcy she tried to keep herself wrapped up in.

Why didn’t you do it, Shane?! Who the hell do you think you are? You should just die! No one cares about you. Nobody gives a shit what you do or what you say! Why don’t you ever listen to me anymore? I’m the only one who even bothers to bear with your miserable existence!

She grimaced, her green eyes narrowing as she subconsciously lifted her palms to flatten them over her ears. The voice wouldn’t’ go away. It grew louder than the music, making her ears ring with how forceful it was. With trembling hands, she ripped her headphones out, bending to pick up a glass bottle that had been haphazardly discarded on the road.

She emitted an angry shout, throwing it against the brick wall of a building. It shattered, the pieces falling to the ground and glittering like gemstones.

Pick it up, Shane. You know you want to. You know it’s the only way it shuts me up…when you’re in pain.

She stared, considering it, unable to do more than thickly swallow before she turned her back on the glass pieces and planted herself on the curb, her forehead falling to her knees as she wrapped her arms around her legs. “Shut up.” She whispered finally. “Shut up shut up shut up!”

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#, as written by FizzGig
You will amount to nothing.

He was probably right. Sitting here on the street corner and feeling sorry for yourself didn’t attribute to being productive. Lifting her head, and wiping at her eyes, she spoke softly, under her breath, so that any passerby would think she was merely exhaling. “Thanks for reminding me, Cale. I really appreciate it.”

Anytime.

When the soft, floating music reached her ears, Shane straightened, looking towards the source of the sound. There was a lightness to it, something that lifted the heavy weight off of her shoulders and invited her forward. It seemed even Cale had grown quiet in order to listen. That was something that appeased them both. Music.

So she went. Moving against the crowd, Shane stepped through the people who barely parted for her, keeping close to the buildings so she would have an easier time moving through. “Don’t stop playing!” she said out loud, afraid she would lose the person if he did. She could feel Cale broiling in the back of her mind. He was jealous.

Just as the music ended, she came to a thick border of people, a ring that surrounded a single person at the center, obviously the player of the violin. As the crowd dissipated, she remained, looking at the figure, the instrument, and taking it in.

“That was pretty.” She told him, though he was faced away from her. She hoped she didn’t look as desperate as she felt.

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“Don’t worry about it.” She said with a wave of her hand, turning to the side before digging in her pocket for a bill. She stepped up to his violin case, placing the money inside before glancing up at him and a small smile.

Stupid Shane. You creep him out. He feels sorry for you. That’s all you ever do is make people feel sorry for you.

She shoved a finger in her ear, grimacing a moment before scratching the side of her head and straightening. “Don’t mind me. I just didn’t get here fast enough.”

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She smiled, crossing her arms over her chest as she pursed her lips to keep herself from laughing. Watching his antics, she stepped a little closer, observing the violin moreso than the man as a sudden burst of inspiration struck her.

"Can I see it?" she asked. She'd played the violin for a long, long time, and while she didn't think she'd ever be on par with his talent, it'd be nice to hold one again, at the very least.

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She nodded, feeling a great sense of privilege as he passed the violin over. Cale was quiet, mercifully so as she set the instrument to her shoulder the way an expert might. Holding the bow in front of her nose to observe the horse-hair strings, she smiled a little, and set the bow to the instrument.

The tune itself was mournful, slow, and melodic. It didn't fit with the attitude of the afternoon. But it was a song that Cale had wanted her to write, to play, to hum when he was feeling enraged. She played it, and it soothed her and the beast within.

It wasn't a long song, but the tune of it never changed, and by the end of it, Shane was smiling so wide she didn't think she could manage it for too long. Her eyes were soft, and she immediately went to hand the instrument back.

"Thanks. It's beautiful." she told him. "I like how you play it better though."

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#, as written by FizzGig
"I taught myself." she told him, avoiding using Cale's name in conversation. He had helped her learn, given her the notes to play, insisted that she practice. It was rare that he let her play for anyone other than the two of them. He must like this fellow. Rather, he must have not seen him as a threat.

Seeing that he was looking behind the pair of them, she glanced back too, her brows furrowing curiously at the other figure as he made his approach. He was carrying an instrument? How lucky was she! Music...she just loved music. It was a life saver for her. Literally and metaphorically.

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She smiled a little shyly. "I can't read music though, so most of what I play is stuff that I make up myself." It wasn't about becoming famous, but that was something she didn't feel like commenting on. No need, really.

When the other young man spoke, she offered a slight smile. "Not as well as him though." She pointed back to the other. "He's amazing, to be frank."

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#, as written by FizzGig
Obviously delighted, Shane kept her head low, laughing to herself as the violinist began to play around them. Cale seemed pleased too. He hadn't made a single snide remark since they'd arrived, and that was allowing her to relax a little. She glanced to the other man, to Lucas, and watched for his response.

He was a curiosity, to be sure. But then again, weren't they all?

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She clapped, unashamed that others might be watching. "That was brilliant!" she exclaimed. "Lovely. I'd like to learn to play like that someday." The song had an edge to it, one she enjoyed. She liked this fellow. She liked how his music made her feel.

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"I don't know that I've seen you around here." she told the other. "I like your playing though. I've always liked string instruments." She had a guitar once, but a particularly angry fit had left the guitar destroyed in her bedroom. This action had been one of many that prompted her mother's suggestions to take her to see a Psychiatrist.

Mothers didn't know anything.

The setting changes from Main Street to The Ruins

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Do you know. Do you know Shane? I'm watching. Always watching ever watching always...

She sat curled at the base of one of the massive stone pillars, staring straight ahead with an earbud hanging out of one ear. Her jaw was set, shoulders rigid as the music came. But nothing was so loud as that voice. The ever-present voice that didn't seem to leave her.

In fact, since happening upon this place, it had only gotten worse. It had gotten more painful.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back.

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#, as written by FizzGig
She hadn't been there very long, so it was natural that his cough startled her. She jumped to her feet, scrambling backwards a few steps as she looked around for the source of the noise. Had he come for her finally? Was this her fears becoming a reality?

No...just a man. One she hadn't seen before. She felt a shiver run down her spine, beginning to backtrack as she planned to sneak away from this place. To where, she didn't know. She just needed to leave.

That is, until her foot caught a rock, sending her crashing to the ground. She swore, her palm splitting against the stone.


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She dragged her shoes out of sight, sitting up and pressing her palm to her pant-leg. The denim stained red, her hand stinging as she hissed in a breath through her teeth.

"That's everyone's story." she grunted in reply, preferring to stay hidden. "A guy wanted to suck me dry, and then there was another who didn't know how to stay visible, or physical, or solid or whatever."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Just a little overwhelmed. Not from around here."

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#, as written by FizzGig
"Killing demons isn't normal."

And what would you know about normal, Shane?

She ignored that, pulling her earbuds out and steadily rising to her feet. She was definitely a woman, though small and slender in stature. Gazing at Nathan with a distinctly green gaze, her hair falling in whispy locks over her cheeks and forehead, Shane met his eyes almost defiantly, belying how frightened she actually was.

"I don't have the faintest idea of where I am." she admitted. "And I get the sneaking suspicion that I'm nowhere I've ever heard of before, if vampires and demon slayers are walking around like its no big deal."

Her fingertips trembled, blood dripping from her injured hand. Nathan looked normal, but she'd seen walking nightmares. She wasn't about to just...accept that he was safe.

Nobody was safe. No one and nowhere.

You're a miserable, frightened little twit, you know that?

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"I wish I wasn't different." she replied, her expression guarded. The dark laughter in the back of her mind sent chills down her spine. When he mentioned her hand, she shrugged, clenching it into a fist. Blood continued to seep, the wound stinging like crazy.

"I'm Shane."

Such a stupid name for a girl. She tilted her chin back, gesturing to him. "You?"

I don't like him Shane. Make him leave. Now. Before I make you look like the crazy, sick fuck you really are.

"You should go." she said, her voice wavering. "I, uh...I'm really not comfortable."

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#, as written by FizzGig
Don't.

"It's okay." she said a little breathlessly. "I'm pretty resilient."

She tried for a smile, but it wavered. She wasn't feeling too well at the moment. She hadn't since she'd come to this place.

Then, finally...

"You should go before I hurt you."

It wasn't a threat. It was a warning. Her voice was thick with this remarkable sense of fear.

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#, as written by FizzGig
She cringed, wrapping her arms around her abdomen and tucking her chin to her chest.

"This little bitch isn't my friend."

Her voice was lower, rough, brusque and unpleasant to the ears. Shane clapped her bloodied hand over her mouth without thinking, eyes wide with fright. She backed up, staring at Nathan with those wide eyes of hers, shaking her head once, preparing to flee...

But her feet were suddenly rooted to the spot, her hand coming away as she gave Nathan a grizzly smile.

"I like this place, Nathan Constantine. I've got this...new life I didn't even realize I had. So what's your plan? Gunna banish me like you've done to so many others then bed the girl? She's not much of a sympathy fuck. You'd be better off paying someone."

She started to laugh.

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"Oh, please, as if it concerns me what you do with the girl." She laughed again. "I warned her. I told her I'd show you how crazy she is. And now you know. So if you really feel so wonderful, then go ahead. Kill her. She's got nothing and no one and nobody."

She was hardly able to contain her laughter.

"I want her dead. The miserable bitch. So I can take her down to Hell where she rightfully belongs."

There was a moment of silence, and the malevolent look on her face melted away. Her fingertips trembled, finely at first, then harder as she clenched her hands to fists. She stumbled back a step, unable to meet Nathan's eyes.

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She shook her head hard, not at his first question, but the last one.

"He...calls himself Cale. But it isn't his real name." she replied in a tight whisper. She felt light-headed and sick, miserable beyond all reason. There would be no freedom for her, would there? Even death would just promise more of this living hell.

She hugged herself, a tear slipping, drawing a streak over her skin.

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#, as written by FizzGig
"That's bullshit, and you know it." she replied, though, she didn't sound angry...just tired. Incredibly tired.

She approached him then, but not quickly, knowing that he was wary of her. Sitting on the rock, she held out her injured hand for him to see. "I don't have anywhere to go." she admitted. "You're the first person I've met who hasn't..." What? Tried to kill her? Cale had already whispered that Nathan had been thinking it.

She let the sentence trail, shifting to look at the ground.