Journal Entry
Life, it's different. So different. I'm content,
yet restless. How does
someone deal with come thing like this?
Deal with this new life.
I've found I'm scared of this.
Of this life. And here I am under the stars
in this perfect moment,
yet it's tugging at the back of my head.
I don't fit in.mim different.
I'm not a free spirt like everyone else.
I don't miss my old life. Not even a little. But is this really making me happy?
I guess I'm conflicted. I can't seem to write
in a journal my exact feelings.
Maybe I need help. Maybe something's wrong with me.
Maybe I'm just not extraordinary enough for this.
Maybe I'm too average for the Paper Kids.
I know my issues are tiny compared to the issues in this world,
and that I should be grateful my life hasn't been hard,
and the Paper kids have taken me in with willing hearts
but I just can't help it. I'm conflicted.
With love.
Xxxxx
PJ' s nights had mainly consisted of trying to figure
out constellations in the stars.
She could spend hours gazing at them,
trying to figure them out. It was almost as if she did
they would give her answers, answers to her questions on life.
She sat outside in the lawn in front of the house
smoking cigarettes. Every couple of seconds she would
inhale the smoke then let it roll off her tongue.
She didn't like to find parties or get herself into trouble,
she just liked the calm peacefulness of the dead
of that night in a paper town.
She liked hearing her breath.
The way the cool night breeze hit her face. It didn't matter where they were, the stars were always the same.
Some New York to Florida to Louisiana. That calmed her in a way. A way that let her hold onto her old life but live her new one.
Sighing the young girl stood up, dusted off her
legs and walking into the house and up to her room
there she wrote in her journal before the young girl dozed off into sleep.
A young girl, PJ, is sound a sleep on a bed foreign to her, in a life foreign to her. She is curled up in a ball, no blankets over her, an oversized Rolling Stones tee shirt used as pajamas bunched up at her hips. Her long, thin legs on full view. Her body was covered in a thin layer of sweat as the scorching Louisiana sun came beating down on her body. Since she left New York as dark tan has set in on her body.
Small snores came from the girls mouth as she slept well into the morning. Her face, even in sleep was twisted into a firm serious expression, it was almost like there was never a point when she really relaxed.
Eventually the sun hit her eyes just right and Pl stirred, shifting slightly in the bed and covering her face with her arms. Groaning she sat up pulling her shirt down and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Mornings were never her strong suit and she could already feel the bed calling her back but the girl forced herself to swing one leg after the other over the side of the bed and finally stand up.
PJ's white blonde hair stuck to her face due the sweat and her eyes had dark bags under them. There is a cracked mirror in her little room that she looked through. Internally the girl cringed. For years her mother beat into her head the importance of always looking her best, and here she was looking homeless.
Quickly PJ shakes her thoughts off. This was a new life. Paper Kids didn't have to worry about the way they looked, the way they acted, the way they dressed, they could just be free. That's what the girl was working on, being free. Letting herself, let go. Not always focusing her attention on the materialist things in life. Although she often found this hard, the other Paper Kids let themselves go so easily and yet PJ held on. It wasn't that PJ hadn't changed since the move, she wasn't the same girl she once was, she couldn't be. It was that sometimes she wanted the old girl back. This life wasn't for everyone, and frequently PJ finds herself believing that it may not be for her.
Sighing, she focuses her attention back on the task at hand; getting ready. PJ hastily slips on white jean shorts and leaves on her black over sized short sleeved tee shirt that she slept in. For her hair she left it down in its glory of a rats nest of waves. Makeup was never even an option around here and even if it was she wouldn't use it.
Looking in the cracked mirror again, PJ states at it for a second before adverting her gaze to her feet. It was almost shameful for her to look in the mirror at herself and see her diminished, tarnished face staring back at her.
Spinning on her heels PJ makes a bee-line for the door, felling cramped in the seemingly shrinking room. Gingerly the girl creeps her way out of her room, sneaks down the stairs.
The house was huge and well, empty. But yet the house was oddly comforting. She liked the big emptiness, it left her alone with her thoughts. But as the sun sunk in through the curtains, the house felt oddly alone. And for a second she was over whelmed.
She padded over to the door and laid on the grass outside, the sun steeped through her skin and soon enough she was in a sweat from the warm weather, then out of the corner of
her eye she saw Aki and Lestat with bags creeping into a different house.
Gingerly she followed them to the house and let herself in. She had just gotten in the building in time to see Aki run out. Although her attention was turned back to the table where food was sprawled out.
Gingerly she grabbed some food, just as her stomach growled. PJ wasn't a big eater and would often go a day or two without food. Although once she hot her hands on some she would down it in a matter of seconds.
"I hate this weather," she stated rather bodly for her personality jut as she swiped a bead of sweat off her forehead.
RPG
