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Razhehah Tristitia

"Become better than me? Pssh, you wish."

0 · 485 views · located in 2012

a character in “The Seven Deadly Sins: Lovely Markings”, as played by nightscapture

Description

Image
Name: Razhehah Tristitia
”Not that anyone refers to me by that in these parts.”
Human name: Ryder Terris
”Ryder. That’s more like it. Short and mundane.”
Age: Appears in his late teens
”As if I’d ever look like a decrepit old beggar.”
Gender: Male
”Unless you actually see something up here, I’m sure that my gender is clear.”

Sin: Envy
“Such a beautiful emotion.”
Demon?: Yes
”I’ve never met a human with red eyes and hands that turn into scissors. Have you?”
Likes:
-Being the center of attention ”It’s quite amazing. Of course, someone as shabby as you could never experience such a feeling.”
-Chess ”I strongly believe in mind stimulating activities.”
-Sports ”Staying idle makes you less attractive by accumulating excess fat.”
-Cute girls ”Who doesn’t like girls?”
-Rock/Death Metal ”It has a nice feel to it.”
-Spicy foods ”If you can’t handle it, you’re a wuss.”
-Playing guitar ”One of the few worthwhile human inventions.”
-Taking things from other people ”I’m not a thief. I deserve that stuff.”

Dislikes:
-Sweets ”Ugh, why would anyone take pleasure in something like that?”
-Being insulted ”Please, I’m much too beautiful for that.”
-Being second best ”My whole life, I’ve been second-best. I’m not going to even remind myself of it.”
-Insects ”Pests. Total pests.”
-Bad taste in clothing ”Don’t people see what they’re wearing? Are they colorblind?”

Fears:
-Going back to hell ”If I liked it there, why would I even leave in the first place?”
-Being weak ”Now that I’m out of hell, I’ve finally become something. I don’t want that to be taken away.”

Hates:
-Snow [i]”I spent my life in hell. Of course I hate snow.”

-Mentions of the past ”I’m starting over.

Time of Day: Dawn
[i]”No one’s out then. It’s nice to have the world to yourself.”


Piercings: He has quite a few ear piercings and a tongue ring
”It’s unique.”
Tattoos: If he takes off his shirt, he has a tattoo running across his chest that simply says in fancy lettering ‘Chase Your Dreams’, a quote that speaks for itself.

Height: 5’11
”I’m tall enough, I’d say.”

Weight: Unknown
”I can assure you I’m probably lighter than you are.”

Eye Color: Light brown/amber
”It used to be red, but that would freak people out too much.”

Hair Color: Reddish brown
”Almost like old blood.”

Personality:
If there are two thing Razhehah Tristitia has plenty of, it’s self-confidence and sarcastic wit. He sincerely believes that he is superior to everyone else on the planet of Earth, and backs up this statement with his porcelain like looks, smooth voice and excellent build. Unfortunately, being superior also gives Razhehah little to no manners and a constant aloofness towards his fellow classmates in high school. He’s blunt, cold, and speaks his mind whenever he feels like it. He’s also perhaps the most sarcastic person anyone could ever hope to meet, penetrating each one of his sentences with some sort of biting insult disguised as a compliment. Razhehah loves being the best, and his ego is enormous to the point where a new dimension needs to be created to contain its entirety.

Razhehah’s something of a daredevil, willing to take on any challenge and not afraid of the consequences. He’s often overly impulsive and rash, preferring to act on heart instead of brain. He doesn’t mind taking risks, and believes that only benefits can come out of trying.

Though he comes off as being stuck up and overly confident, Razhehah secretly harbors a real inferiority complex for everyone and everything. He’s truly scared of what might happen if he becomes nothing short of the best and views every student in his high school as a potential threat to his status. In reality, Razhehah has little to no self-esteem or self-confidence and only acts so for the sake of appearance. He’s also incredibly selfish. Every time he finds something that he wants, he’ll do his best to steal it from its owner, whether the object in question is concrete or abstract.

He acts like he hates the world, but what the young demon really needs is some sort of love and acceptance. For his entire life, the only person who ever believed that he was anything good was, well, himself. Though he’d never admit to yearning for something as ‘weak’ as another person’s support, Razhehah does secretly desire someone, anyone, to give him the thumbs up. Even for a second.

Not seen Without?: His guitar
”My only constant companion.”

History: In Hell, those who commit the sin of envy must have their eyes sewn shut so they will no longer take pleasure from seeing others being brought low. They then wander aimlessly throughout the dimension in the hopes of finding some sort of purpose in their tortured existence. The envy demons too, are subject to this kind of torture. Razhehah spent the majority of his existence in Hell blind, unable to see his superiors. Many of the powerful demons also exercised a sort of iron control on the envy demons, knowing that they were some of the most rebellious and troublesome subjects. All this should have stripped Razhehah of his free will. Instead, the fire of freedom and independence only burned stronger inside his heart. He made quite a few numerous attempts to gain his freedom and break away from his lowly status, but all those attempts were foiled by the superiors. In fact, Razhehah was becoming so much of a trouble that many of the higher demons were considering locking the young demon away in his own special corner of hell with his own unique methods of torture. This, they reasoned, would do what couldn’t be done before-break him.

This plan might have very well become reality if Razhehah hadn’t found out beforehand from a trusted ally. He knew then that, to keep on pursuing his dream, he could no longer stay in Hell. That meant that he’d have to ascend to a higher ground, like Earth. There, he would disguise himself as a human and join the countless number of high schoolers milling in and out of their respective schools in the countless cities. No one would be able to find him there. And so he went.

Now, a few months later, Razhehah-or better known as Ryder Terris-is one of the top students at his school and envied by many of his classmates. He’s having the time of his life, and he doesn’t ever want to return to the depths of Hell. He also became able to see for the first time, something that he relishes since now, darkness isn’t the only part of his life.

So begins...

Razhehah Tristitia's Story

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Character Portrait: Razhehah Tristitia Character Portrait: Renevari "Ren" Lehsade
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He listened to her entire proposition in silence, and only batted an eyelash or two when she announced that she had a bad case of narcolepsy. Well, that certainly explained why she was roaming about her house by herself late in the night when there was seldom a soul to be found awake in the entire city. However, he couldn't help but feel that he was imposing just a little too much. As selfish and rude as he appeared at times, he did have a conscience. Albeit a very minimal conscience. But at least his wasn't exactly nonexistent. He also couldn't help but feel a tiny twinge of sympathy for the girl. In a way, she was as unhappy as he used to be. Only she seemed to have nowhere to run to escape that pit of unhappiness. He also noted to his surprise that she wasn't looking for sympathy, but rather she looked towards the outside world with something more than a simple restlessness. He could tell that it was a sort of envy. The word almost brought a smile to his mouth. This girl was a lot more similar to him than he had originally thought.

"That sounds fine with me. But you shouldn't be too concerned. I'll leave early in the morning and come back late at night so that I'm not seen by any of your family members."

The mention of food brought a slight crinkle to his nose and he almost snorted in disgust.

"Don't worry about the food either. I don't eat a lot."

Actually, to say he didn't eat a lot was a bit of an overstatement. In fact, he ate perhaps once or twice a week at most. Years of being in Hell had somehow brought along a revulsion for almost anything and everything that was edible. No, she could keep her food to herself.

He looked at her for a moment before saying quietly,

"Seriously, thanks for helping me out. If you need something in return...uh..."

He suddenly recalled that he had no idea what this girl's name was.

"Hey, what's your name?"

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"Oh... Alright," Ren said, nodding slightly. The fact that the Demon boy didn't plan on imposing on her, and that he seemed to be deferring to her opinions and suggestions rather than trying to do things his own way, made him seem much less threatening than he had before. Although he was still rather strange - hey, he was a Demon who had literally just popped into her world, what else did she expect? - he seemed unusually... gentle, for lack of a better word. She had to consider the big picture here. This boy had lived his whole life in Hell. Renevari realized now. The things he had doubtless suffered there must have been horrible. The fact that he was still willing to be so polite as to allow her, of all people, to decide his living arrangements, was, quite frankly, incredible.

"You don't need to worry about paying me back. After all, there isn't much you can do right now besides lying low, right? And, anyway, I don't think it would mean much if I had to rely on some sort of supernatural demonic power to change anything because I was too weak to do it myself. In any case, you need help right now, so I'm going to give it to you. It's the most I'll probably ever have a chance to do with myself, so I don't see why I should bother doing it for my own personal gain when just doing it is its own reward." She gave a slight, wry smile. Those words summarized her worldview rather aptly. Her life, her very existence, was meaningless. In the end, she probably wouldn't get a chance to do anything important, and would probably just end up being a burden to those around her. Nobody would remember her once she was gone, and she would simply fade from the memories of even those she cared most about. But, on the other hand, by helping other people, even at her own expense, she could bring the light of happiness into other people's lives, and give those few, joyous moments a meaning that transcended her own existence. Even if it meant that she couldn't partake of that happiness herself, she was satisfied to know she had given other people a purpose, at least for a while, and became happy because those she cared about were, thanks to her. While she envied them for what they had, she wouldn't for a second desire to take those precious things away. After all, if people's happiness gave her life meaning, what would the sadness of others do? She didn't want to think about what she would become if she stopped helping people.

"My name? It's Renevari Lehsade. That's a bit of a mouthful, though, so I usually just go by 'Ren.'"

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(Sorry for making you wait!)

"Renevari? Well, that's miles prettier than what I was expecting."

Humans usually named their children such odd and unattractive things. Plus, they were almost despairingly unoriginal. There were at least a million 'Joe's wandering the Earth, not to mention that half of them also probably shared the same last name. Boring. How was anyone supposed to express their uniqueness if they had the same name as some other person? What kind of name was Joe anyway? It was short and lacked refinement. Also too harsh sounding. But he liked this girl's name. Renevari. Had a nice ring to it.

"Well, Ren, my name's Razhehah. Razhehah Tristitia. Not that I expect you to remember any of that."

He had listened to her talk for quite a few minutes now, and the more he heard from her, the more he realized that something was really not right. This girl didn't seem to have any self-pity, yet she didn't seem to be ready to find a way out of her situation. Rather, she was simply standing there and helping others while letting herself slip further and further down into the shadows. The thought almost made his lip curl in disgust. He needed to straighten her out.

"Ren, can I ask you something? It seems to me as though you're only interested in helping others. What about helping yourself? It seems to me as though you want your own happiness, yet you refuse to look within yourself for it. Instead, you're just helping others. That's no replacement."

He wondered then if maybe he had said too much. The way he had implied the words made it seem as though he was talking from personal experience. Maybe she wouldn't pick up on that. But Ren had already shown herself to be an exceedingly smart girl-for a human anyway. Damn. He said too much.

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"Oh, thank you. I'm glad you think so," Ren said, smiling slightly. "My name gets called silly more than it does pretty, hence the nickname." She gave a wry chuckle, and extended her hand to give a more standard form of greeting than simple introduction, although having seen his hands sprout blades spontaneously, she was a little nervous about touching them. Regardless, however, she decided that such fears were simply foolish, baseless things, and extended her hand in the welcoming gesture despite them. If she was going to be playing hostess, then it would only do to be polite, even if her guest was actually a powerful demon from the pits of hell itself.

She arched an eyebrow in slight surprise as Razhehah - evidently, that was the boy's name, unusual as it might have been - continued, his searching eyes seeming to smash right through the facade she had erected so carefully over the years around her true mindset.

"Ren, can I ask you something? It seems to me as though you're only interested in helping others. What about helping yourself? It seems to me as though you want your own happiness, yet you refuse to look within yourself for it. Instead, you're just helping others. That's no replacement."

Those words froze her in her tracks. In the middle of opening her mouth to say "Nice to meet you," she stopped, lowering the hand she had just moments before raised in the hopes of giving a cordial greeting. With a hollow laugh, she sighed. It was quite clear the only person who was being laughed at was herself.

"So... it's that obvious? Heh. I suppose you're right. It really isn't a replacement. On the other hand, what exactly am I supposed to hope for? Happiness from within myself... what a storybook-worthy cliche line. I must have hit a new low, to have a demon fresh out of hell trying to cheer me up and give me advice on how to be happy. The real world just doesn't work that way sometimes, though. If I were to look for happiness on my own, of my own, all I'd be doing is getting in other people's way. I'm awkward to be around, and I know it, so why bother ruining other peoples' enjoyment out of my own selfishness? What's the point of being happy if everyone around you isn't because of the burden that is yourself? It's as I said. It's much better to be satisfied with helping others than to end up feeling guilty over what little joy you can get going it alone."

As she spoke, she did something completely unexpected: she continued to smile. The way she spoke of herself was frightening enough, how she talked of herself as nothing but a burden and spoke of simply making other people hate her just by existing as all Humans normally did. But far more terrifying was how she said it. In those words, there was almost no remorse, no indignant rage at being destined to suffer thus. There was simply calm, resigned acceptance. She stated her own uselessness as one would state that the sky was blue, or that Humans breathed air. She, quite simply, seemed to have entirely given up the basic Human desire to be comfortable. If she was comfortably numb, why bother to be anything more than a face in the background? Why strive for a happiness she knew she could not achieve? And so she continued smiling sadly. That expression should have been one of contentment, but while the acceptance was there, there was no mirth in that resigned, sad face.

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He had heard her out throughout the entire story, and he was slightly annoyed with her seemingly resigned and helpless attitude. But what made him even more aggravated was her continuous smile. It had struck quite a nerve as he stared at her, and snapped,

"Stop smiling if you've got no reason to."

It was overly harsh and he knew it. But he wasn't in the mood to think about the nature of the words that were flowing steadily from his lips. This girl was a smart one. Yet she refused to see that her own happiness was worth more than simply helping others out. She was willing to throw away everything and not even bother to retrieve it. It reminded him of something. And when he realized what that something was, his scowl only deepened. Right. She reminded him of himself quite a few years ago. Years being a loosely used term of course. No one knew exactly how to keep time in Hell. Or even when days ended and the night began. In fact, maybe there was no such thing as night in Hell.

Many years ago though, Razhehah had found himself in somewhat of a similar situation as Ren. Living life for others and wondering exactly what there was to look forward to. In fact, life had no bright spots. There was no such thing as pleasure and 'happiness' seemed to be as far as Heaven itself. He had been ready to give up and suicide the way most demons would: jumping into the pits of fire that Hell had an abundance of. He had been close to doing it. Literally only a breath of a second off. Yet something had stopped him from leaping the final step forward. He made up his mind that moment that death was pointless. Even more pointless than his life up till now. From that moment forward, he would do nothing but chart out a new life for himself. That day standing in front of the pits of fire had been the first stepping stone of many to the path that led him here. Into the basement of Renevari Lehsade's house.

Now he stared at her with a look that a few seconds ago had been disgust but had now transformed into something a little less uncertain. For a brief moment, he saw himself standing in front of him. But then he shook his head and stared sternly at Ren.

"Look Ren, I'm not going to try and pull you out of your pool of self-pity and whatnot. But let me tell you something out of experience: You can't continue living the way you are now." He leaned in towards her and bent down slightly so that his face was right in front of her's.

"Sooner or later, something has to give and you have to make a decision: Either you die, or you find some sort of means to keep going on. And that means has to be your own happiness."

He paused for a second, wondering if he should go on. But he had already revealed this much. Why not take it a step further?

"Quite a few years ago, I found myself in a situation somewhat like yours. I made a decision that day and went on to pursue my own happiness and live. Maybe you'll do the same. Maybe you won't. But sooner or later, you'll be standing at an impossible crossroads."

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"Well, if it bothers you that much, fine," Ren said, raising an eyebrow in slight surprise as Razhehah snapped at her suddenly. She seemed a little bit hurt by his sudden outburst, but she dropped the smile regardless, her face settling into a calm, blank mask. As the demon spoke, the girl, rather surprisingly, gave another wry chuckle, and the sardonic, mirthless smile began to creep back onto her lips.

"Oh," she said, actually sounding a little bit amused by Razhehah's speech. "So that's how it is. I guess my thought process wasn't so obvious, after all. Allow me to explain so you're not worrying over me doing something stupid when you really don't have to. Trust me, I have no intention of dying. There is absolutely no purpose in such a course of action. If I were to die, how do you think my family would react? What relief or happiness could I possibly take from making those around me suffer? In short, you've misunderstood me. This isn't self-pity, or regret. I've long since gone past feeling that way. I've simply accepted who I am, and what that entails: both the blessings I have been given - a good home, a kind family, and the ability to help people who need it, for a few examples - and the problems I have to deal with - illnesses, sleep deprivation, and so on. Really, I'm well aware that, in comparison to some people, I'm very fortunate. After all, the problems I have to deal with are rather minor, to be sure. However, they also make me a burden to interact with on a social level. How would you feel if you wanted to do something but were stuck tending to a particularly sickly child, or if you wanted to go somewhere but had to bother dealing with your friend collapsing into unconscious sleep? I'm a burden to those I trouble with my presence, and I've learned to deal with that. And, while we all have our little regrets, I'm pleased to say with no uncertainty that, although it's a little hard to deal with being such a shut-in sometimes, I get by just fine, and do so without bothering anyone, and in the end, I guess that's all I really want."

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He listened to her talk and his own somewhat amused smile slipped onto his face.

"Alright Ren, if that's how you see things I won't stop you. But you wanna know something? There are people out there who would do anything to even have a life remotely similar to yours. And if they get that sort of life, they would immediately make use of it and explore the opportunities that life has to offer. Yet you, who is in the fortunate life, refuse to even take a look around. You claim that you're perfectly happy with your situation, but anyone looking in would say you're not. So I don't know whether you're incredibly stupid-which you don't seem to be-or you're just blind. But then again, what's it matter?"

He turned away from her at that point and took his glasses off to rub them on the white shirt she had given him minutes earlier.

"It's your life. Feel free to call the shots."

From somewhere in the distance, a siren wailed and the silence that had been there for so long was shattered. It made both of them realize that it was still late at night and neither of them should linger down in the basement much longer. He yawned and stretched his arms out.

"Well, feel free to debate this topic with me some other time. I say that you need to get back to bed. It's probably real late now."

He made no mention of sleeping himself. In truth, the adrenaline from the escape was still coursing through his veins and made him far too excited to even think about lying down. No, Ren could go to bed. He'd stay in the house until morning came and then go outside before any of her family woke up. By the morning, it would be safe to assume that the Hell guards wouldn't pursue him anymore. He was just one little demon, and they weren't about to go out in direct sunlight to find him.

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"I never said I was 'happy.' I simply said I was contented. But, it doesn't really matter. I can tell this little discussion isn't going to go anywhere, anyway. I suppose you're right. I should really get some rest. And, perhaps, if it comes to the point where I have to change, I'll follow your advice," Ren said, sighing. "Come on. Let's head up to my room, then. Stay quiet, though. It would be awkward if someone heard us and came out to find me slipping up to my room at one in the morning along with some strange boy wearing some of my brother's clothes. I'd really rather not think about what impressions that would give them." Motioning for the stairs, Ren led the way this time, the bright red coat she habitually wore trailing out behind her as she turned and strode upward. Although it didn't appear to be much, it was a motion of trust. Really, by all rights, Ren should have been terrified. A trans-human being was currently occupying her house, and there wasn't exactly anything but his own guarantee that he wasn't going to pull anything when she let her guard down. On the other hand, though, if he had wanted to do something to her, wouldn't he have done it already? By following him into the basement, where nobody would have been able to hear her and she would have been helpless, at his mercy, she had given him the perfect opportunity, and he had not exploited it. He had even revealed his true nature to her right off the bat, but hadn't done anything to cow or intimidate her. He had simply stated facts, and even given her a few well-meant, if a bit harsh, words of advice. Even though his trustworthiness wasn't assured, Ren had a feeling that she could count on him to keep his promises, if only because he hadn't yet broken them.

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(Once again, sorry for the extremely belated reply!)

"Yeah yeah, I get it."

She didn't need to keep reminding him of the fact that her family was upstairs and were prone to waking up at any minute to find a strange boy tagging along with their only daughter. He got it. Besides, how much noise did she think a demon could make anyway? If anything, he could glide up the stairs more silently than she ever could. Maybe he needed to show her that he was skilled enough at sneaking around so she would shut up with all these warnings. They were really starting to bug him. He wiggled past her and began climbing the staircase quietly. As his feet pressed against the wood, he realized that she still didn't seem to trust him fully. Her movements were a lot less suspicious now, but she still seemed edgy and her eyes still had a weary light to them. He suppressed the urge to sigh. Honestly, what could he possibly do to her? Kill her? Like that would benefit him at all.

He turned back around so Ren wouldn't see that he was rolling his eyes. As he ascended to the top of the staircase, he looked around before asking quietly.

"Where do your parents and brother sleep? I'll try to be extra quiet when I pass their rooms."

Not that he was making any noise in the first place.