A sensation akin to desire and fear, the roiling calling of those shifting swirling embers begging for the calypso to readily begin. I try to avoid the darting gazes and whispers wanton of my fingers. It speaks and confesses my darkest fears… I whisper back sweet nothings. Sublime madness to the innervating abyss it gives to me. Each song and chord more like a gesture so seductive. It special kindness, those utterances. I fall for them, crash and burn. My drug, my rise.
Even when it is not there dancing like the provocative femme-fatale, it rawness courses through me. It is akin to sex, many brag about the high and endorphin release such twisted acts of congress provide, but there is no beauty. There is no grace. My first love is only her, for she knows just how to play my very body, the warmth she brings to my cold flesh is maddening euphoric bliss. I ache for the barest touch and to breath her torrid breath. It hurts my lungs, but pain and pleasure merely the little cruel demented dance she does. She begs, no pleads to breathe again. I could ignore her, but then the harrowing iciness will once more torment me. I must make her sing, live in her beck and call.
Why do they keep depriving me of her? They mutter harsh secrets insinuating she is bad, that I should find other means… How can they understand? Our love is not the kind they can comprehend, it is primal and lasting, each revolt and flick of the match to bring her ever glowing beauty is akin to a thousand ultimate nourishment. I live for her, she calls to me.
I am here in this place, stripped of all ways to bring life to my love? I wish to breathe her intoxicating scent and strip down to nothing and roll with her as she infinitely warms my body… Give me this release. My mind ponders but they know and keep stopping me being with her, no fire, nothing no light… I am cold… Absolutely freezing, shivering… They are killing me, all of them… None of them understands, they laugh and roll their eyes. I will make them understand… I will make them understand and they will suffer… This place will burn, all shall burn, the fires will reach the heavens, a pyre unlike anymore while I stand astride letting her consume me… Giving me the ecstasy, orgasming before I turn into black sulphurous ash… Give into the congress.
For now, I freeze, nothing can warm me, they tried, they all tried, but only she brings wetness to loins and makes me ache and go into a frenzy… They will know as they all burn, I am giving them a damn honour, I am sharing my love… My life… they are getting to have a one-night-stand with her… I say that is pretty selfless. AND THEY SHOULD BE FUCKING GRATEFUL.
I am distracted momentarily by the announcement to break my reveries, the clang of the clocks. Sirens whispering haunting secrets to my displaced mind. Sing, singing maladies while I drown in the cacophony. They call them inspections, my mistress, my love consorts and I listen. They think if they remove the flame, we are alone, but my beloved is always with me. Never ever alone, my body would freeze and shatter into thousands of shards if she left my side.
My paramour.
No matter, they will all burn…