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Kards

Laught at your problems.... I certainly will!

0 · 292 views · located in Eldalea Isle

a character in “Untouched Islands”, as played by TheChaplain

Description

Explorer

Name: Kards

Explorer

Race: Human

Sex: ♂ Male

Age: 21

Job: For now? Don't get caught.

Appearance: Kards is a hood rat, and it shows in his appearance. A layer of grime usually covers him from head to toe, and numerous holes are scattered around his clothes. He's been wearing the same pair of jeans for the last 3 months, his cotton button down for the last 2. Over his shirt he sports a sleeveless button down vest of what used to be sold black, but has grown more towards grey. Other than that, he keeps his auborn hair short and manageable beneath a frayed brown felt bowler cap. He does manage to keep his beard shaved. Standing 5'10" and weighing 135lbs, he's scrawny and strong, overall. Really the only thing that sticks out positively are his sharp grey/green eyes.

Personality: Kards could be best described as as a smart ass. He rarely takes the world around him seriously, and often finds himself in trouble because of it. Trouble however, that his quick wit and experience rarely have trouble dodging. Those who take the time to get to know Kards will find that this exterior... Is also his interior, except the longer you know Kards the more his enormous ego shows through... He also has a habit of dropping references to different cards within a deck.

Background: Born under the name Matthew Edendale, Kards was born to a respectable noble family as the youngest of two brothers. Throughout his childhood he was always the one to carry the responsibilities as his brother and father focused on how to play political games. Even his first love turned away from Matthew to be with his brother, who was destined for royalty. One day, after returning home from a hunt, Matthew found his brother standing over the corpse of his murdered father. Matthew, 16 at the time cried for the last time as his brother explained that he couldn't wait for his father to die to claim his title, and had killed him. Enraged, Matthew shot his brother with his Bow (with which he was and is a deadeye with) and ran from home, determined never to return; he has been running ever since. He took on his name Kards, and became a hood rat at the largest port city he could find.

Despite this rather dark past, Kards has developed the perfect way to go through life without having to think about the sorrow, depression, guilt and reality of his past: he fakes it. And he has become quite skilled at it. His false ego and quirky remarks have so effectively turned reality into a daily joke that his mind rarely goes back to his past.

It was mere coincidence on the day that Kards was being chased for stealing a loaf of bread that he hid in a barrel. A barrel destined for the cargo hold of The Ruby Conch. It wasn't until the ship left port that he had realized where he was.

Writing Sample:
The pile of papers hit the desk with a notable thump, and the commander started fingering through the first few in the stack. From his handcuffed seating position Kards could not help but note how his impressive mustache danced as he spoke. "twenty two accounts of theft" he said in a deep official voice.

"guy's gota eat." Kards nonchalantly responded with a shrug.

The commander ignored Kards. "Eighteen accounts of disturbing the peace."

"with such a general law, it's hard not to br-"

Again, ignored. "Eleven accounts of defacing government property."

"That statue kind of begs for a painted beard though."

It was clear the commander wasn't listening. "Seven accounts of impersonating an archbishop."

"Good times."

"And one account of public indecency."

"THAT was not my fault."

The commander of the city guard slid the papers to the side of his desk. "Kid, that is the reports against you for just the last 3 months, and I feel confident that at least half of these charges will stick if not all of them." The commander paused for a moment to open up a window behind him, it was a rather hot day after all. "I heard you gave my guards quite a chase before they brought you in."

"Well they're not all that hard to out smart, commander mustache sir." Kards responded in jest.

"Maybe not." the commander looked Kards in the eyes "I however am not on the same level as them."

"No sir." Kards said.

*click*

'Finnaly' Kards thought as he tossed the commander his handcuffs "You are far thicker than those brutes!" Kards exclaimed to the fumbling commander  as he jumped over his desk and out the open window. After free falling a few feet he hit the salty water of the ocean, and emerged just in time to see the man himself looking down on him from the window of the barracks. Kards would swim to the docks and get away, but not after giving a quick solute to the commander.

So begins...

Kards's Story

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With a barrel on each of his shoulders Kards walked up from the cargo hold. Being part of the crew of The Red Conch was hard work... And no one knew that more than the group of men he was pretending to be a part of. Months in a cargo hold had made Kards skinny, he had lost a lot of the strength he had before his impromptu voyage; mostly due to lack of physical activity, but hunger played its hand in the deal as well. Either way, these men were ripped, so he kept his white- well it had truthfully turned into a grey offshoot of white quite a while ago -button down cotton shirt on and rolled the sleeves up only to his elbows.

"damn it's bright here hey Rick?" He said to Rick on the deck as he passed by on his way to the ramp leading to the beach. Rick nearly formulated a response when he realized he had never seen Kards during the trip. That was because Kards was technically not supposed to be on the trip, but what people didn't know didn't hurt them. But Kards knew Rick, at least by name and appearance as he had occasionally found himself sleeping in a crate besides Rick's hammock over the course of the last few months.

"Who..." Rick began to say, but was pushed forward by another crew man behind him, and Kards just kept walking, letting his eyes adjust to the light of day. And when they did, boy... What a sight. Paradise was set out before him, islands planted themselves in the clear blue sea like giant turtles. Jungles rose up like ancient green clouds from the white sand beaches. Civilization was no where in sight.

Kards set down the two barrels down next to the pile of crates on the beach where the massive ship had landed. He stretched his back and took his frayed black vest and brown bowler cap out of the barrel and put them on.

He had listened to a lot of the conversation between the crew over the course of the trip, and learned a lot about those he would be mooching off for however long they would be here. One bit of information he gathered is that the captain was known as a bit of a hardass, and while Kards had never seen him or her, he thought he could safely assume that a stowaway would not be greeted as a king.

He decided it was best if he hid in the forrest until the crew build shelter, out in the open a stowaway would get noticed for sure before long. Just as he was walking towards a particularly knotty tree his nose stopped him mid-stride.

*sniff sniff* "pork" he said. And sure enough. A family of bacon, ham, pork, and fat was roasting on a spit right above a fire. Kards's arms fell limp, his pupils opened comically, and he was pretty sure he was drooling.

There was no option. Kards needed to be brave. The fate of his taste buds were at stake. Operation Hog Heist was a go.

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Character Portrait: Erin Harding Character Portrait: Kards
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#, as written by Adantas
People were bustling all over the place, setting up and getting settled. Already there was a pig on a spit, roasting and crackling, the smell wafting along the beach. Erin took a deep breath in, inhaling the mouth watering smell. She had been milling about all day really since there hadn't been much else to do and she wasn't interested enough to go exploring into the jungle after the other scientists. The heat was unbearable to her and it was putting her into a fouler and fouler mood by the minute. With her forcefulness she easily managed to rope in one of the crew members to set up a tent for her to get comfortable under. He set that up relatively quickly, eager to get out of her blistering gaze. Finally, it was ready and she plonked her gear underneath and set up a chair for her to rest in. But she still wasn't as comfortable as she would have hoped. The stifling heat seemed to hang below her tarp and so with no breeze to blow it through it just stayed there, boiling poor Erin. Determined to stay cool she went marching out of her shade and tore a large leaf off a nearby tree. Giving herself a quick fan and satisfied with the results she went back to her haven. Water canteen in one hand fan in the other, it wasn't a bad arrangement.

From her vantage point, a few meters away from the general group, gave her the perfect view to observe the comings and goings of people. On the trip, Erin rarely interacted with anyone however, that didn't mean she didn't pay attention to who was aboard. Her proficient memory was sieving through all of the faces as she watched them, names popping up as she studied them. But she came across one that she couldn't quite pin. A young, clearly undernourished boy heading directly towards the roasting pig. Her damp brow that since arriving here had been in a constant frown, deepened. The fact that she couldn't put a name to his face meant that there had been no talk about him, and she came to realise that she hadn't actually seen him before either. It was clear now that he was a stowaway. There was no way that if he had been a legitimate passenger on this ship that he had escaped her gaze. Yet, she was more curious about him then she had been about this whole expedition. Why he would decide to stowaway on this ship was a mystery to her, but she supposed he didn't actually know this boats intended path.

She sat there lightly fanning herself as she thought on this matter. There was no point in telling the Captain. What good would that do? It's not like they could take him back. Instead, he could be useful to her. She wasn't fond of the idea of attaining things for herself and getting herself sweatier than need be, so the prospect of having a... apprentice or lackey really could be appealing. Whether he wanted to be or not she didn't care, but she had a feeling that he didn't want his presence to be known to the Captain. A tight lipped smirk appeared on her lip. This might not be a terrible day after all.

She gracefully rose from her chair and strode towards the area where she had last seen the boy. With a gait befitting that of a powerful man she headed towards the scruff of hair that was darting towards the pig. He was interesting indeed, he seemed to be skilled at appearing in place without being noticed. Under the radar. He could be useful. So close now, and since he seemed focused on his task she was able to approach him. Her large hand reached out and grabbed his shoulder, quickly turning him around to face her. She tried to school her expression into something less intimidating.

"Hmm, a little scrawny, but you'll do. Grab yourself some food and then come to my tent just over there." Her voice sharp and tone meaning that there was to be no arguing.

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Kards darted to a pile of crates close enough to the pigs to get a closer look. Yes, he confirmed the suspicions looming in his mind, they did look just as delicious as they smelled. he took a rolling dive from his cover to a fallen driftwood log that several crew men used as a bench to gather around the open fire. The driftwood, luckily for Kards, was large enough to conceal his movements as he army crawled to the other end of the thing, where no one was sitting. He peered over the crest of the log, drinking in the sight. He wanted to bolt out, grab a piglet, and stuff his face right there; but this was to important for rash action, he needed a plan of attack, and more importantly, a plan of escape.

Just as the plan was formulated in his mind Kards felt a hand on his shoulder. "Abort mission!" he said, startled, as he turned around to face his captor. He turned and his eyes met shin. His eyes traveled upwards, higher, and higher, and higher until his eyes met the face of either a very feminine man or vise versa.

"Hmm, a little scrawny" the tower said to him "but you'll do. Grab yourself some food and then come to my tent just over there."

While Kards was not one to submit to authority figures on a wish, the giant used commanding enough voice to force him to weighthe situation. 'Grab yourself some food' he listed on his hand, 'tent just over there.' two pros. 'a little scrawny' he listed on his other hand.... Two to one.

"Hey watch it!" said a sailor as Kards stepped past him over the driftwood. "And just what do you think you're doing with your hands all over that?!" he screamed as Kards pulled one of the piglets off the spit by its little tusks.

"My deepest apologies seaman!" Kards said as he began to tip-toe around the man with his prize. "but I'm under direct orders from the skyscraper itself!" Kards transferred the hog to his other hand as he began to feel the heat build up in his fingers. "If you wish I could pass on your complaint." Kards gave the offer half-heartedly as he continued to fumble the meal between his hands.

"eeehhh, just get out of here!" the sailor responded much to Kards's surprise.

'hmmmm... Thought that would have been a little more difficult." Kards thought to himself as he tried to manage the heat of the hog in his hands. Perhaps the tall one was the captain. That would explain why the sailor let him off so easy, or perhaps the tall one was just as equally hard to deal with.

Kards soon found himself out of the sun and in the cool shade of the tent. There was only one problem. "Soooo, where's my chair?" he asked the tall one. "I mean, I would normally sit, except I've got this delicious piglet to enjoy..... And I can't eat it on the ground.... That's how you get ants."

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#, as written by Adantas
Erin had only enough time to reach the tent, take a seat and give herself one beautiful fan of cool air before the boy returned. She was glad to see that he had in fact followed her. But as she looked at the still slightly steaming pig in his hands she had to raise a brow. He was much scruffier than when she had first glanced at him. She kept fanning herself as she watched the young boy stand before her. Before she had even begun to form a single syllable the urchin spoke, his words as scruffy as his appearance and equally as smart arsed. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. She was probably as tall as he was just sitting up straight and so to enforce her power over him as clearly no-one had before, she rose to his eye level simply by sitting straighter.

"You'll do just fine on the ground." And realising that he would probably argue that fact as an idea of the kind of sarcastic boy he was began to form in her mind, she quickly held up a hand to silence him. "I want you to use those ears rather than your mouth for the next five minutes while I speak. I've come to the knowledge that you are in fact not actually a crew member of this ship and because of that fact could be in a bit of trouble. However, I have a proposition for you. It's rather simple. All I need is someone to help me set up each day and get my stuff ready. Maybe occasionally going into the forest to get some herbs or something for my poultices if this island has anything remotely of use. But along side that I would care for some eyes and ears just around the place. I like to know things but being my size, it isn't always easy to sneak around. As you can see it isn't much for providing your secret kept and giving you food. What do you say?" She finished and leaned back into her chair, awaiting to hear his answer which would probably annoy her to no end.

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"You'll do just fine on the ground." The giant told him. He figured she hadn't taken the ants problem to heart.

"No seriously, like the risk-" He was rudely interrupted by a hand from the tall one signaling his silence "Did you just-"

""I want you to use those ears rather than your mouth for the next five minutes while I speak." it said

"Well actually I've become quite skilled at using both at-"

"I've come to the knowledge that you are in fact not actually a crew member of this ship and because of that fact could be in a bit of trouble. However, I have a proposition for you. It's rather simple. All I need is someone to help me set up each day and get my stuff ready. Maybe occasionally going into the forest to get some herbs or something for my poultices if this island has anything remotely of use. But along side that I would care for some eyes and ears just around the place. I like to know things but being my size, it isn't always easy to sneak around."

"heh, no shit" Kards giggled.

"As you can see it isn't much for providing your secret kept and giving you food. What do you say?"

Kards produced a large white handkerchief from his back pocket and spread it across his lap, half-listening. The giant was right. He could probably be a top notch errand boy around the island. But first there were a few things that needed straightening out. Kards thought hard about his response. "Are you a man or a woman, because this is going to annoy me to no end."

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#, as written by Adantas
Even while she spoke he still managed to interrupt. This was definitely not a good idea, his mouth would be worse than what he was worth. She kept her cool while he made irritating little comments, reminding herself that he simply had never been taught manners. Although, she wasn't one for social etiquette and was quite brash with people, she really hated people speaking rudely to her. When it came time for him to answer he seemed to really consider it, which lessened her frown. But as soon as his bloody mouth opened again it was just a disaster.

"Are you a man or a woman, because this is going to annoy me to no end."

Those words rang through her head, Are you a man or a woman? Man or woman? Like a bubbling volcano she was about to explode. How dare that insolent brat say anything about her! He really needed to learn some decorum. On the arm rests of the chair, her fists closed around the ends squeezing so tightly that they started to crack and splinter, but she didn't notice the pain in her hands or the blood that was starting to drip. All she could feel was the fury and agonising pain of her heart for being called up for her clearly messed up body. She wanted to tear him to shreds, call him foul and ruthless words that even he would shy from. The whole scene played in front of her minds eye. How desperately she wanted it to come true. But as the scene ended to took away the brunt of her anger, just managing to give her a brief space to realise that that would probably be the worst option to consider. Her features were still hardened into clear hate, boring into the young boy but she had decided with great will power that she would not kill him today. Instead another thought popped into her head. A wonderful distraction for the briefest of moments before she had to address his question. They were on an Island filled with mysterious plants, surely there would be something to be found that would benefit the medicinal world? And of course, she would need a test subject on that, looks like the boy would fill that spot just fine. And if nothing happened to him and she indeed found some magical all healing herb she would reap the rewards. If not, she had one less irritating bug in her life. This train of thought maybe lasted a whole ten seconds, but her overall pause before answer would have been at least a minute and a half, plenty of time for him to stew in her piercing gaze. Not that it probably fazed him but it made her feel a bit better to think that she could scare him.

Then the end of his sentence hit her. It was going to annoy him! Brilliant. A cruel smile curled the edges of her lips before she finally answered him.

"Well how unfortunate for you." She started out rather strained but after a quick clear of the throat came out strong again. "I guess you'll never know."

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Kards stared into the face of the sitting tower as he waited for a response. It's face scowled at him. It was an honest anger.... Kards searched his brain for why this giant would will him ill.... Nothing came to mind. Perhaps something he said. He often lost track of his words.

"hey uh, may want to loosen up your grip there friend." Kards said as he noticed a drop of blood drop of its finger. No answer, and more silence passed by. "You might want to have that looked at.... Infection and all." no answer. "Know a good doctor?" nothing seemed to calm the beast in front of him. Kards shifted uncomfortably. He took a bite of ham to distract himself as the tone of his thoughts became to serious for his liking.

"Well how unfortunate for you," the giant started. "I guess you'll never know."

Kards narrowed his eyes. "I bet you're a real spawn-of-a-bitch." he said.

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#, as written by Adantas
Erin slowly pried her hands off of the bloody mess of wood. The pain was beginning to register and she gave a quick flick of both hands, spraying a bit of blood. She turned her palm upwards and started picking the splinters out. The meticulous action soothed her, not quite enough so to emit a low growl when he insulted her, but just so that she didn't tear his head off. Once she had managed to remove most of the splinters from both of her hands she rose from her chair and when to the table where all her goods were laid out. She had bandages, ointments and other bits and pieces for her practician. However, what she really needed was a bowl with some water to wash her hands, the salt water would be good for the cuts. She continued to ignore the impudent boy pretending to busy herself with her stuff while in fact she was simply trying to work up the words to actually speak.

"You say that as if it were a bad thing. Besides I would love to insult you, but you probably wouldn't understand. So instead, let me give you your first job, go find a bowl, fill it up with sea water and bring it back to me. Simple yes?" She told him firmly, making sure to show that she really didn't give a damn even though his words did cut. She gave him one last dismissal look and then turned back to her sorting.

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"So easy a cave man could do it your your giantness." Kards responded as he took a bite of rump. 'so easy I'm going to save 15 minutes or more by not doing that.' Kards thought as he left the tent and headed to the ocean to dispose of the remnants of his meal.

He threw all but the final leg of the piglet into the ocean. "probably wouldn't understand" Kards repeated the giants words to himself. She did have one thing on him though; she did know he was a stowaway. Not that anyone else wouldn't know he was a stowaway by looking at him for more than a few moments. He needed a place to hide, he considered the forest again. Suddenly however a stroke of genius struck him as he saw a tall middle aged woman standing all commander-like and official. 

Outsmarting people was his thing, and he was about to rub that in the giants face. He began to march towards his target. 'I have no problem helping out people every once in a while, but manipulation is a no. Giant has something on me does she?!' Kards told himself as he finished the last of his pig and stuffed the bone in his pocket.

"Captain." he stated matter-a-factly. "I have been a bad boy."