Jonny and Autumn smiled at each other after he had moved so that he could properly tell the story, Autumn was bound to get scared, she always did, but she had took it like a champ and clung to him. He wondered if she could cling to Levi now, since it looked like Levi couldn't be scared of anything. The boy look like a creepy doll now that he thought about it. "Okay, here it goes..."
"This all started about 7 months ago with my mother's passing. It has been expected, but it still came as a shock to my systems and way of life. I feel too young to be motherless at the age of 26, but I guess she die at the young age of 54. Losing a parent is not new to me, I have been fatherless longer than half my life with his death in Iraq when I was 12.
My mother fell ill about two years ago. We moved to the big city of Seattle so that my mother could receive the best medical care possible and to be close to her doctors. The doctors, however, did not know what was wrong; they could not find an answer. Every different doctor would give a different diagnosis. They would tell me all this medical jargon that only a professional colleague could understand. No matter how smart or lengthy their medical expertise was, I always understood the short answer: "She's dying."
I was working the Thursday night shift at the mini mart around the block from our apartment so I wasn't home at the time of her passing. I was taking my time going home in the early morning, smoking one more cigarette since I didn't like to smoke around my mother. I decided to butt it out when I walked passed the neighborhood tweaker, who I had nicknamed Paranoid Pete, who sounded like he was checking in with his mother on the cell phone he held up to his ear. "Even this crackhead is worried about his mother while I am taking my time going home to my dying mom just so I can kill myself sooner," I thought as I quietly tittered at his maneuvers. When I got to our apartment, I wished I had smoked a couple more just so that I could avoid reality just a little longer.
I am thankful that she was able to pass away peacefully in her warm bed on a cool September night, but I still feel guilty about not being there. This was much different than when I lost my dad: I didn't see his body, I didn't have to call 911, I didn't have to worry about funeral arrangements and I wasn't alone. This time was much different.
We didn't really have anyone else, so I didn't expect that a lot of people would have cared or noticed my mother's passing. I decided to not have a funeral since I would be the only one in attendance. I wrote up a nice obituary and had it posted in the Sunday newspaper. She wanted to be cremated, so that was scheduled to be done in a week.
The Tuesday after the posting, I started receiving sympathy cards at my apartment. I did not expect these. They all looked to be from people in the Seattle area. I started reading them and found out that they were from her past students. My mother use to be an elementary school teacher and was one until she fell ill. By Wednesday, I was receiving them from all around the state and by Friday, I was receiving them from across the country. I was unsure how they found out our apartment address, but I did not really question it. I was happy that my mother was not forgotten.
In the cards, many of the student inquired regarding a funeral or memorial service since I did not mention one in the obituary. These students left their phone numbers. I dreaded telling them that there wasn't going to be one. By Friday, I had received about 30 cards. To allow these thoughtful strangers their chance to say goodbye, I called a local church to schedule a memorial. It was scheduled to be two weeks away and I called them all to let them know of the service.
I wasn't expecting to have to plan a service; so I felt in a rush. I started scrummaging through my mother's boxes of photos and memorabilia that were under her bed and in her drawers. I wanted to do a collage of her teaching days with her students since they were going to be the ones in attendance. There were many boxes of art projects and photos; there was even one that had folded up pieces of paper in which I assumed were notes from students but didn't bother looking through them.
I then found her first classroom picture. I saw my young mother smiling wide with her twelve second grade students. The students were sitting on chairs with the second row on risers: six in the front and six in the back with my mother standing behind all of them. In front of them on the ground read a sign that said:
'Miss Murray's Second Grade Class Hunters Elementary School September 1988'
Seeing my mom looking happy and alive put a smile on my face. I scanned all the children's faces, wondering if any of them was going to attend the service. One of the boys in the class had an odd and silly facial expression that was borderline unnerving. His eyes were wide and sunken in. He was either sucking in his bottom lip, or bitting it. It looked as if he was holding in a fart, in which this observation made me chuckle. This was probably the first time I had any form of laughter since the morning I found my mother in bed.
At the bottom of the box that held this photo, there was a leather bound book with my mother's old university emblem embedded on the cover. I picked it up and turned it to the first page:
'Inspire the change. Remember the past. Teach the future. -Professor T. Hart'
Realizing this must have been a graduation gift, I continued to the next page and saw that she had used it as a journal. I wanted to read through it, but I felt guilty about it as well. Journals are supposed to be private, but I figured my mother didn't have any secrets that I didn't know. So I decided to read on:
'8/28/1988
Tomorrow is my first day teaching. I am extremely nervous, but it is a small class. Not many people live in this town called Hunters. I moved here two weeks ago after accepting the job. I have met many of the families already just from being in town, but sure I still have a lot of people to meet still. This is a big adjustment from Tacoma, but this change of scenery across state is much appreciated.
My favorite professor gave me this journal and said it would be good to keep a log of some sorts when starting teaching. This way, it allows you to look back at what worked with students and what didn't work. I doubt I'll have much time for that, but I will give it a chance.'
I continued reading my mother's handwriting through the fading and smeared ballpoint pen:
'8/29/1988
Well I did it. I am a teacher now and I survived my first day, but barely though. I am exhausted. I have not even cooked dinner yet, but I am already thinking about going to bed. I love all my students so far. I know each one of them is going to be special to me. There is one though that I am concerned about. His name is Joshua Clemens. He arrived about an hour late to class and (not to be rude) smelled horrid. He smelled as though he lives in a dumpster and has not taken a bath in months. I can tell it bothers the other students since no one will play with him. I am not sure what I should do in this situation.'
I grabbed the class photo and followed the name listing printed on the back of the photo to see what Joshua looked like. It was, of course, the boy with the odd facial expression that I equated to holding in a fart. I didn't notice this when I first laughed at the photo, but the little girl named Kimberly Boswell on his left was sitting about a foot away. The rest of the children were about 2 inches apart. I suddenly felt sorry for Joshua Clemens.
I put the diary down and continued to look for photos. I collected ones that I could paste to a poster board so I could display it at the service.
I decided to pick up the diary once again one evening. Most of the entries just talked about study plans and lessons. I would have to say it was very uninteresting. Until the mention of Joshua Clemens:
'9/28/1988 Dear Journal,
I decided to write to Mrs. Clemens regarding Joshua. The smell has gotten much worse. I have to hold my breath when he is around. He rarely speaks as well and is cruel to the other children. He antagonizes them and it hampers their learning. I am not sure, but I think he has a learning disorder. I might not be able to help him.'
The tone of the entry was much different that the past few I had read. This was short and I could hear my mother's temper through the words and the handwriting.
I continued onto the next entry:
'9/29/1988 Dear Journal,
It was awful. My day. It is hard to write this down. I got a note back from Mrs. Clemens. It was awful. I don't know how someone could write that to someone. I talked to Principal Cochran and showed him the note. He told me that Mrs. Clemens is ill and not right in the mind. I guess Joshua's father abandoned them and Mrs. Clemens blamed herself. I guess got sick and never got better. Joshua must have it rough, practically taking care of himself. I regret my letter. Doesn't forgive the rudeness of the note but I must be able to help.
I saw a folded up piece of paper in the journal. It was the note from Mrs. Clemens:
'Miss Murray,
I assume you don't and won't have kids. So where is it allowed for you to tell me how to raise my son - my Sweet Joshua? There is nothing wrong with him but I think there is something wrong with you. My son has nothing to learn from a city bitch like yourself. Kick him out of you class if you wish. He would be better off.
Remember Miss Murray, you cannot stop a mother's love.
-Georgia Clemens'
"What a fucking bitch!" I internally yelled. I was pissed that someone wrote that to my mother, even if it was a long time ago.
It pissed me off even more to see that the handwriting looked as if it came from someone well educated and not some low life woman. I was expecting something more messy and less neat, but instead it was almost artistic; the words were written in what was probably the best cursive I had ever seen. I was expecting someone who couldn't spell, let alone write.
A few days after my last journal reading and a week before the memorial service, my mother was cremated. With being contacted by my mother's past students and reading the journal, my mind was preoccupied. I was walking home from the crematory, when Paranoid Pete was laying on the ground whispering to piece of paper that laid on the cement: "Yes mother, yes." That was when it hit me; listening to this man talk. I will never talk to my mother again. This was the first time I cried.
That night and after having a couple of generously poured drinks that evening, I continued reading the journal. Well, more liked skimming it for any mention of Joshua or Georgia Clemens:
'10/12/1988 Dear Journal,
We are supposed to make home visits. I am of course dreading visiting Mrs. Clemens, but I need to for the sake of Joshua. Joshua does not not talk to me or the other kids. He barely eats. His smell has gotten much worse, I need to have a serious conversation about the sake of her son. I am hoping the principal will go with me. I am supposed to make the phone calls tomorrow. I am dreading this.'
I read the next entry since it caught my eye. It didn't have a date. The writing was messy and scribbled:
'I am shaking. I had to call Mrs. Clemens. I will not speak with that woman again. She is vulgar and rude. I still have to go to the house to visit but Principal Cochran said he would attend and do most of the talking for me. I don't think it is a good idea. I am worried. She threatened me. She said to not come to her house. She said I should have just stayed home with my cat. This threw me off guard. I was speechless. When I came home, my cat was no where to be found. I am scared Mrs. Clemens took her. How did she know I had a cat? I keep calling out for her from my black door every 30 minutes or so.'
I hated reading this. My mother never told me any of this. She always talked about her favorite students or classroom memories. After reading this first year journal, I understood why she never mentioned her first year teaching. I put the journal down. I couldn't read anymore. I didn't want any part of this. I just wanted my mother's memorial service to be over with and for me to move on. I didn't want this to be my last connection with my mother. I couldn't let it be.
A week had passed and I was straightening my black and flattening my black collar. It was it. It was a chance to see the joy and happiness that my mother gave to her students. It was to know that she had a happy life after the events of the journal. It was to say goodbye.
I walked to the church with a black umbrella to protect me from the regular Seattle downpour. I arrived at the church an hour before the service, but people were already showing up. People were giving their condolences and I was trying to listen and nod appropriately. I was on auto pilot. Everything was a blur. The realization of it all caused me to become a shell. Until the smell.
I looked up and saw the dripping mess that was Paranoid Pete. He was signing the guest book at the entrance and then approached me. He was smiling with wide eyes, chuckling through rotten teeth right in front of me. My mother's students looked at us and and just looked at him. He was holding his flat hands together - pointing at me - almost like a prayer but with his earth stained fingers towards me.
"My...mu-mu-mother wanted me to gi-iv-ive this to you," he said through a grin. He opened his hands as if they were a book. And what was a black and white photo of a woman. She looked stern and unhappy with her soulless dark eyes. I picked it up and felt impressions of written letters. I turned it around. I instantly recognized the handwriting:
'See your mother in hell.
Love, Georgia Clemens'
It then hit me - Paranoid Pete was Joshua. I looked him in the eyes, but he started to turn around. Something came over me: rage. I grabbed him to a stop and punched him right in his rotten teeth. He fell to the ground, screaming like an infant. "My mother won't be happy about this! My mother won't be happy about this!" I jumped on top of him and gave him another bloody fist.
"Fuck you and fuck your mother!"
Two men attending the service grabbed me and hurried me away. I felt the blood in my face as I watched Joshua get up and run out the church.
I attended the remainder of the service in the back. Luckily one of my mother's students grew up to be a nurse who cleaned and bandaged my hand as the service continued. I felt ashamed that everyone kept looking back at me as service went on. Afterwards, I had to talk to the police but no charges were pressed. I didn't want to stay after the service and talk to the past students. I grabbed the guestbook and the police drove me to my apartment. On my way home, I looked through the guestbook and confirmed my initial suspensions as I saw the chicken scratch handwriting that read: 'Joshua Clemens'.
The events just raced through my head over and over again as I sat in my living room. I was on edge as I drank whiskey and chained cigarettes.
I don't know what came over me, but the journal drew me in. I turned to the page of the last entry I left off on. I turned the page for the next entry to find that there were no more words. No more sentences. No more entries. It was just pen lines going across the pages. Less than a quarter of the journal had actual entries of writing. The rest was just lines. Ugly lines. I kept flipping through the pages, looking for anything in particular. Then the lines stopped on the last few pages of the journal. This ink looked fresh. It wasn't smeared or faded. The date confirmed that. The date of her death:
'9/14/2017 Dear Journal,
It has been a long time, I don't think I have much time left. I am a dying woman but I want this story to be told. Sometimes the stories you don't want to tell are the ones that need to be heard.
It has haunted me since the day of October 30, 1988. Principal Cochran was driving us to the Clemens House. I was nervous. My hands were shaking and my heart was skipping beats. I remember looking at Cochran and he was sweating. He was dreading seeing this sick woman - both in the head and physical. The house was deep in the woods. The town, if you could call it a town, was called Hunters and it was surrounded by giant pine trees. The only way to get to this house was to drive down this dirt road. I remember feeling slightly sorry for Joshua Clemens since he had to walk up and down this dirt road everyday.
We approached the house. It was worn down. The roof was clearly prone to leaking. There were weeds that were engulfing the porch that wrapped around the house. The yellow paint was chipping, revealing the previous paint of red. The blinds were shut, except for the top right window on the second floor. That one was wide open and a light was left on.
We walked up the rickety steps of the porch and Cochran knocked. No response. He knocked again. No response. I wanted to say that no one was home and that we should go back. But Cochran was my boss. I didn't want to look like I was trying to avoid doing my job.
"She must be home," he said as he turned the doorknob causing the door to creak open. I would be lying if I wrote that I wasn't scared. I was terrified.
As the door opened, my eyes began to water and my nose burned. The smell. I was smelling this every since the first day of school on Joshua, but it was much stronger. We walked in, both holding our breathes. "Hello?" Cochran cried out. The house was silent. "Go upstairs and see if Mrs. Clemens is up there. I am going to see if Joshua is somewhere." I wanted to dispute. I wished I turned around. But I didn't. I didn't.
I slowly walked up the stairs. The smell overpowered all my senses. I could taste it. I could feel it.
At the end of the hallway was Joshua. He looked dead. His soul was void in his eyes. "She told you not to come. She protects me and she told you not to come." He said in a monotone voice. This was the most I had ever heard Joshua talk and I wished I never heard it. He ran through the open door to his left. "Joshua! Come back!" I yelled and followed. I found myself in stench and a bedroom with a lit lantern in the corner. Joshua was climbing out of the window onto the roof. I ran to grab him but he slid the wooden door frame closed and disappeared. The bedroom door slammed shut and I jumped out of my skin. "Mrs. Clemens? Hello?" I said timidly as I turned around. I noticed that there was a body in the bed that was on the far side of the room. The smell. Oh God, the smell. I smell it everyday now. It doesn't leave me.
I walked across the room and to the bed, putting my naive hand out to wake up the sleeping Mrs. Clemens. Coldness. I felt coldness. I shook my hand on the body. Nothing. I wish I hadn't. I wish I hadn't pulled down the overs. But I did. There she was. There as a corpse. I ran toward the door, screaming. My hand grabbed the doorknob but it didn't budge. Then I heard a noise behind me. "COCHRAN!" I yelled. "HELP!"
I heard a woman's raspy laugh behind me. "I told you," I heard the cold voice behind me. I turned my head back. Mrs. Clemens was sitting up in bed with her eyes shut. I continued to yell for Cochran and God. I looked back again; Mrs. Clemens was standing in the middle of the room, closer to me. She was still - like a corpse. All color had left her. I turned towards the door and stepped back to kick the door, but I felt a coldness on my right shoulder - and then my left. "You can't stop a mother's love," was whispered in my left ear. I looked back and saw the sunken, cloudy eyes and a grin on the rotten face of Mrs. Clemens.
The door opened quickly, causing me to fall back onto what would have been the remains of Mrs. Clemens - but she wasn't there. I jumped up and ran into Cochran as he noticed the body of Mrs. Clemens in her bed.
I sat quietly in Cochran's locked car as we waited for the police and paramedics to arrive. Cochran was looking around the surrounding woods for Joshua. I was quiet as I looked at the top at the top right window. There she was - Mrs. Clemens. Waving goodbye to me and holding up what looked like my cat's lifeless body. I knew I was not imagining it. I felt threatened and fear, but not in danger. But she was antagonizing me. And she did. For the rest of my life.
It was a few days later that I heard that Mrs. Clemens was dead for at least four months and that Joshua was living on his own this entire time. The police could not find Joshua. He was never found. All my life, I would find notes from Mrs. Clemens; reminding me of the same thing: you cannot stop a mother's love.'
I set the journal on the coffee table and sat there on my couch, quiet and stunned. I reached for another cigarette until I realized something. My mother had a box of notes under her bed. I thought these were from students, but realized I was most likely wrong. I grabbed the old shoe box and opened up the top. I opened note after note as I recognized the penmanship - the perfect cursive - and did not even read them. Some of these looked like fresh ink as the ink was not faded or smeared. There were only a few left; I opened one up and saw that it wasn't made out to my mother - but to me:
'Remember Andrew,
I will always protect my Joshua from harm. You cannot stop a mother's love.
Love, Georgia Clemens'
I haven't seen Joshua since the funeral, but I am starting to find more notes from his mother. I am starting to smell death. And it does not leave me."
Scary story written by J_R_Jollstein