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Nathan Hartwell

"Is today the day...?"

0 · 501 views · located in Upper Ashridge

a character in “When We Die”, originally authored by Savader, as played by RolePlayGateway

Description

Name: Nathan Hartwell (Nate for short)

Age: 18

Gender: Male

Past Self Aware: Nathan usually remembers everything within a few short years after turning 13, always being the first among his group of friends to regain them. Just in case he forgets something, like a name, a place, a date or an important event that occurred in his previous lifetimes, he built a hidden bomb shelter type room where he hides documents he himself wrote, journals, pictures, artifacts, etc., and he keeps them all inside the room, away from the outside world. The shelter is also where he hides his pocket watch (more information on that under "Other"). The only thing he's afraid of forgetting each time, is where the shelter is located...

Role: Boy #1

Personality: Nathan is a very complex fellow. Having been through a traumatic experience during his first life, and then being forced to go through even worse versions of the same event, over and over, he's developed a very recluse mindset, choosing to stay closed off from the world, even more so towards his close friends, despite their attempts at trying to figure him out and peel back his seemingly impenetrable armor. There was once a time when he was openly kind and friendly. He is still kind and friendly by nature, however, he is but a mere shell of his former self, the only thing prominently on his mind being a solution to he and his friends' curse of having to live a short life, never allowed peace or the privilege of letting his guard down, always thinking "Is today the day...?", always prepared to find out someone has died a horrible death, yet again -- usually having to witness the event firsthand. While Nathan may be closed off to a certain degree, he still allows himself to remain close to them enough to where he can look out for them, just in case "today's the day"...

Nathan had already blamed himself for his friends having died in the first place, now choosing to punish himself greatly for being the reason they are all cursed to relive tragic deaths, over and over again, never seeming to find any peace, and because of that, he feels that he does not deserve to be among them any longer, the only thing keeping him attached is his constant agenda of trying to find the book that caused all of this -- his only reprieve being the hope that he'll one day be able to set them free, whether to end their reincarnation, or stop the cycle of infinite deaths they are forced to live out before they are even allowed to live a proper and full life.

Through the course of many lives, he has managed to develop a ploy towards keeping his friends from worrying about him. Although it doesn't work on all, it tends to help him bridge the gap he feels in his heart. Nathan mostly acts like his old self, best he can, not letting anyone in, but still maintaining his old demeanor in order to fool those around him into thinking he's alright. This act in keeping his friends from worrying about him has lead him to ultimately being rather distant and closed off, as mentioned previously. The only one seeming to see past it is his ex-girlfriend, whom he broke apart from entirely, feeling that he no longer deserved to be with her for what he did, and because he felt too distracted when trying to hold a relationship together while their lives were not yet complete, what with them always ending tragically and unfulfilled.

Nathan even refrains from keeping close to his (seemingly eternal) best friend, Victor. Although Victor might be the only person he feels he can truly rely on, he still can't help but keep him at a distance as well, as he does with all of his other friends. On the surface, Nathan and Victor seem as they always were: best friends who always hang out together, always talk to each other about everything -- even the secrets and especially the important stuff. But looking a little deeper, and you'll find that the once strong bond of friendship is now, like Nathan himself, a mere shell of its former self, being generally one-sided, with no one seeming to notice entirely. No one except for Nathan, that is.

In conclusion, Nathan Hartwell is so far deep into the hole of an existence he himself managed to create, that he will likely never feel like himself or even at peace once again, until he finds a way to solve everything, meaning that he is on the edge of being entirely and utterly broken, the only thing keeping him on his feet and his mind intact, being his friends' smiling faces, and the hopes that he will one day see them smiling always...

Details: Each life, Nathan always chooses to leave his family's house as soon as he is able, wanting to live alone, away from anyone and everyone that cares about him, feeling that it's not truly HIS family, which makes it nothing more than a distraction to him. He lives in a one bedroom apartment that he pays for by working at the local sporting goods store. The only person he usually lets stay over, if anyone, would be his friend Victor, whom, in many past lives as well as the first, has been his best friend. His attachment to Victor is about the same level as his attachment to everyone and everything else; it's there, but not as prominently as it used to be.

Because Nathan feels that the lives he has been forced to live are not his own, not rightfully so, at least, and because he chooses to live each new life exactly the same as before, the friends he has who are also past aware constantly remind him that he's "wasting" the "blessing" that was given to each of them by never breaking away from his "routine". The routine being nothing more than his secret agenda towards finding a way to lift the curse he placed on his friends. The only ounce of happiness he seems to find, is being able to see his old friends once more, but even that bright side is minor, as he knows it will not last...

Likes: + Reading
+ Solitude
+ Art
+ Sketching
+ Classical Music
+ Playing the Piano
+ Spaghetti

Dislikes: - Himself
- People who pry
- Black magic
- Lying to his friends
- Summer
- Guns
- Anything too dangerous

Secrets: The only notable secret that Nathan has, is the fact that he is the sole reason why everyone is stuck in this loop of reincarnation and premature death.

Fears: His friends finding out the truth, never finding a solution to the curse, seeing his friends die each new cycle, the local graveyard, deafening silence, and black magic.

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual

Crush: He doesn't really have any crush towards anyone, although he does still have lingering feelings towards his ex-girlfriend, Girl #1, but is too preoccupied with his current agenda to truly give it any thought. However, his lingering feelings towards her tend to make themselves noticed when he becomes fearful of her demise. When she is in danger, he focuses solely on trying to save her, proving that he still cares for her most of all, his feelings are merely covered up by his agenda, only ever coming out during the most basic and primal impulses, such as fear, panic, and desperation.

Boyfriend/Girlfriend: N/A

Other: Nathan carries around a silver pocket watch that he received for his very first 18th birthday, 100 years ago, given to him by his girlfriend at the time. Since then, the watch has been an irreplaceable item of his that he cannot live without, as the watch warns him when one of his friends is going to die. This "warning" seems to be tethered to the fact that he is the one who conducted the resurrection ritual, and because he had it on his person at the time, and it involves time itself, the watch is best described as a channel for when "fate" decides it's time for the group to start dying off once again. Whether by mistake or design, this "magical" watch is something that Nathan never lives a life without. Managing to reacquire the watch by mere chance during his 2nd life, where he first noticed the watch stopping each death, he's since then decided to hide the watch as soon as the final date of death shows up; which just so happens to be his own...

Nathan was a pretty talented pianist back in his first life, and has managed to maintain his knowledge on how to play, each time he regains his lost memories each cycle. Choosing to place a classical piano in the shelter he built sometime during his 4th life, he often plays several different scores while he brain storms, the piano being one of the few things that allows his mind to escape from it all.

Height: 5'10"

Build: Lean and healthy, nothing at all worthy of any praise. Simple.

Looks: Image
Nathan has jet black hair and grey-blue eyes, and a clean, handsome face. His usual attire consists of long sleeve shirts and/or short sleeve shirts and regular jeans, and simple black shoes, topping it off with a jacket and hood he hardly pulls up, only ever doing so when he's upset or when he's in his thinking mode. He generally tends to wear dark colors, differing between dark blue, to black, but on some rare occasions, he'll actually wear white or gray.

So begins...

Nathan Hartwell's Story

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Hannah Greene Character Portrait: Hope Hathaway Character Portrait: Nathan Hartwell Character Portrait: Amy Roswell Character Portrait: Wasalu Armando Character Portrait: Jeremy Royce
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#, as written by Savader
'Is today the day...?' I kept thinking. Over and over again as I stared at my watch, as I did every new day that came to greet me. 'Is today the day...?' I constantly find myself asking that question... Just hoping that I'm wrong today too, that it's just another day that I can use to my advantage. And while I know that it at least shouldn't be, I also know that things don't always go according to how they're designed... 'Is today the day...?' My small bedroom in my tiny apartment was completely silent at the moment; the only sound that could be heard was the gentle ticking of my pocket watch, which, to me, sounded as though it were as heavy as the Elizabeth Tower's hands. The sound had become so regular for me, it now constantly echoed in my mind, even when I wasn't looking at the watch itself... Some may call this torture, but I look at it as a chance to survive the coming fire...

I was merely laying on my back, in bed, with a hand behind my head, making it seem like I was just relaxing. A typical thing a teenager like myself would be doing for no apparent reason, right? Wrong. I wasn't a typical teenager in the slightest... I've already been down this road several times, and it became old a long ago. But as for now, it's all I know. It was already morning, and I, 'Nathan Hartwell', was currently late for first period. I was debating on whether or not to even GO to school, nevermind making it in time for first period... I let out a sigh as I looked down at my watch, knowing what my friends would say if they knew I was really like this. The only word I could currently think of that would fit my attitude as of yet, would be "emo". It's rather stereotypical, and I don't think I fit all the requirements of the title, but it's likely the closest matching one for someone as hopeless as I am. "No one understands me", "Nothing matters to me", "My dark heart is only outmatched by my dark soul"... Blah. I think nothing of the sort. I'm glad no one understands the real me, and although the only things that matter to me are very few, they still exist, only consisting of my friends, and agenda towards keeping them alive and well... Which never seems to go the way I want. Heh, maybe I should blame my "dark heart and soul" for that, huh?

"Is today the day....." I said out loud this time, now pausing, as if I were waiting for someone to respond. No one did, of course, as I was the only one living here. I left my 'parents' place last year after saving up enough to get this place. Couldn't handle being in a new family for the umpteenth time... After doing so over around 5 times thus far, it gets a little tiring... Oh, you must think I'm an orphan or something. Well, in a sense, I guess that could be true, but not the type you're thinking of. Just take my word for it; you don't wanna know... It'll just complicate things. Trust me.

After getting tired of mindlessly looking at my watch for the past hour or so, I decided to put it back in my pocket, and raise myself up. I was fully dressed, mind you. As I said; I was debating on whether or not to go to school today. Having said that, I already dressed myself for the day. "I guess I might as well... If I don't, 'she' might get on my case..." I said with a sigh. The person I was referring to is a close friend of mine. One of the few who have...such a 'strong' memory, like myself... Yeah, let's put it like that for now... This person is can be quite invading when it comes to her friends, and even more so when it comes to me, which only burdens me more... She of course MEANS well, but all it honestly does is set me back, which is NOT what I need in this life... Either way, if I leave now, I should be able to make it in time for second period, so I suppose I should head out now... This was the start of the first day of what I had hoped to be my first REAL life, as well as my last... Which, as any would guess, is how it is for everyone...right?

After grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder, I stepped up to my front door, and pulled out my pocket watch once more, giving it a check... "Is today the day...we die...?" I said, an obvious melancholic tone in my voice, only propelling the "emo" theory even further for anyone who's reading this, I'm sure. Trust me though, I'm not. I promise. "Well... Time to start it, either way..." I finished, re-pocketing my watch, and setting out for school... This was how most of my days began. Me, waking up, eating some breakfast, getting dressed...and then debating whether or not I should become a friggin' recluse for the rest of eternity...only to end up deciding to go to school in the end. I suppose it was a subconscious thing-- the reason why I always decided to go anyway, I mean... It likely has something to do with the LAST time I cut school... I shudder now even at the thought of it... And so, with that, I'll go ahead and speed up time, so as to meet up with the rest of the world. No, no. This isn't an ability of mine. Just a time skip...


-Several hours later, after school-



Yet another boring day of school. Sure, I got to see some of my friends today, but nothing ever changes. It's all such a waste of time, what with our damn lives being predetermined failures... Okay, THAT sounded pretty emo, I'll admit, but seriously...I'm not.

Of all the things I could be doing right now, I was instead...sitting up in a tree...still at school. I had a good view of the layout from here, and could nearly see everything I needed to. I caught Michael having some trouble with computer monitors before he left in search of help, after failing at it himself, which I had even thought to help the poor guy myself, but figured I'd best stay out of it, knowing that it would only embarrass him if he found out I had seen him so clearly. And what would it look like, having one of your closest friends watching over you like a hawk... I was also able to see Jeremy and Amy having a heated conversation in the school halls. I swear, those two always seem to clash at some point each day... Always have for a long time...like a REALLY long time. After cracking a slight smile, I thought about how Jeremy was still trying his damnedest to hide his little 'secret', which I honestly thought was pretty awesome. Of course, I'd never confront him about it. For obvious reasons. Wasalu was likely hanging out in the soccer field, which was blocked by the school from my position, and couldn't make it out clearly. Only seeing the very far-right side, which stretched out passed the school's main building. But he obviously wasn't participating in today's practice, which he often skipped out on... Another athletic friend of mine, Hannah, was probably kicking some ass on the tennis courts, like usual. She was pretty good, and I honestly felt that I had to commend her for it, even if it was only to myself.

The rest of my friends, I had no positive knowledge of at the moment. They either weren't at school, or were still in classes, which I obviously had no way of knowing from here. Although, Hope liked riding her horse as often as she could, so she was likely out riding at this moment, but she, as well as Diana, were rather unpredictable at times, despite me learning everyone's schedules, hobbies, as well as the way their minds work fairly well...again... They still tend to surprise me quite a bit. Which is what I thought having such good friends was all about. These thoughts made me smile, but I quickly lost it when I thought about how I didn't fit such a category... The whole reason why things are so broken for us in our lives, was because of me, after all... But I could never tell them that... Too afraid of their likely resentment towards me... These friends are the only constant thing in my existence, and if I lose that... "I'll have nothing..." I said out loud to myself in a low tone. But, if one good thing were to come of today, it would be that today wasn't...'the day'... However...it was only 4 in the afternoon, so there was still a lot of time left for this 'day' to play out...