the it that dealing with it deals with

[dealing with it]

"Dream"

Watching everything
As it all blends together
Street signs with tidbits of conversations
Form the great Leviathan

It's how the world speaks to me
Disruptive and intrusive
I tap into the nervous system
Of all of society

I can no longer speak
For the call is too loud
I can only move my feet
And let it all sift through

I try to sit on a park bench
But the world thoughts never cease
Every single leaf that blows
Screams expletives at me

Night time is my time
Because the talking has ceased
And only the moon and stars
Tell me what to think

I am a ghost
Nobody is looking at me
I hear static through the air
It tells me what I am

I break into someone's yard
Through a crack in the fence
And toss stones around
Just to see if I'm seen

I only communicate
With the highest vibrations
But I can't tell if it's
Only my imagination.

All my life, is just a dream.

[dealing with it]

"Vulnerability"

We're all vulnerable
That makes us beautiful
Otherwise we're toxic
Our words are caustic
We turn our hearts cold
Instead of sharing the gold

Our vulnerability
Is our super ability
To tell our truths
Our souls are loose
From below, not above
Comes our special love

Some friends are close
But fewer than most
Can hear the pain
And are not drained
By being among
Those our stingers stung

So I share with some
My weakened tongue
Those who can't take the heat
Of my shuddering heart's beat
Won't feel in full
My gravity's pull

A room of family
A community
Come together
In stormy weather
To talk of life
And our long strife

But a single friend
To the very end
Is worth the trouble
Through all the struggle
Whether one or many
Is more than plenty.

If you can find only one
Let shine your sun
And be vulnerable
As much as you are able
Because nothing beats
A little honesty.

[dealing with it]

"Horror"

A certain horror
Has overtaken me
I must take the pills
So that I won't be
A gesticulating mess
An embarassment
With no control
My sanity spent

I feel like the Hulk
Hiding behind the calm
You wouldn't like me mad
I'm a ticking bomb
"My eyes have seen
The shadows and the gloom",
As Salvatore said:
"The inevitable doom."

A hospital stay
They call it a vacation
But after twelve weeks
It becomes your station.
Dream-like timelines
From Doctor Who
Hide in the phone-rooms
And you'll time-travel, too.

There's no way
To understand this distress
But sometimes stories
Help explain, I guess.
Madness is not
Like Call of Cthulhu
It's just-past-real
And almost seems true.

If you read the Scriptures
That will be your mind
So read good books
In prose and in rhyme.
Nothing I know
Is more depressing
Than a God-themed mutt,
A Messiah, undressing.

[dealing with it]

"An Agnostic"

If more people didn't know
And didn't have to own the truth
And more people didn't move
And fewer things had they to prove
And sat quietly in their space
And avoided the rat race
And believed one fewer God of man
And forgot about some divine plan
And scoffed at pseudoscientific press
And could tell theory from hypothesis --
And raw information from fact --
And on bullshit they didn't act
And understood their indoctrination
And the powers of their imagination...
How much farther could we go?
It's alright not to know.

[dealing with it]

"Boundaries"

When you cannot say no
Even when you want to
You need to build a wall

A boundary keeps you safe
If you must put it in place
You need to build a wall

Sometimes all you get is pain
From another one's friendship
You need to build a wall

Even family can be wrong
And can be toxic to you
You need to build a wall

Whether young or old
The pain can be so real
You need to build a wall

Self-care for mental health
Means a secure environment
You need to build a wall

Keep yours to yourself
And leave others to themselves
You need to build a wall

With all of these walls
Boundaries are secure
You need to build a wall

[dealing with it]

"Dunning-Kruger Effect"

At first, ignorance
Then comes familiarity
Many think this is the end
And that they know all
They misjudge,
Over-Confident

But with more learning
They know how little they know
And lose confidence
Which comes back slowly
Ever-so slowly

Genuine talent comes
But with complexity
They see how far they've come
And how far they've left to go
Ignorance is bliss

By the time genius arises
There is no certainty
Knowing where knowledge comes from
They can only justify so much
And trust very little

The greatest minds are skeptics
Who don't trust their gains
Because their gains are so little
Compared to all there is
Geniuses don't see their own genius

But they know one thing
That confidence is deluded
The spawn of not knowing enough
But enough to have gnosis
Of their paltry truths.

[kawaii_wolfie]

Nice Poems

[dealing with it]

"Midnight"

I was young and sad
Just a hateful lad
I liked being bad
Black clothes were my badge

Those who just despise
Have a twinkle in their eyes:
See oily black skies
And contentment as lies

Breeding factories
School, clubs, and parties
Drugs flowing freely
We don't stop at tea leaves

I mixed them all up
Don't know when to stop
Wrote midterms while up
With what was in my cup.

Only one teacher
Noticed my despair
But I didn't care
I didn't want him to stare

It's after finals
And school's out of my skull
That my own devils
Lost all my marbles

I didn't know that year
That there is a cure
So I took a detour
On poison pills, pure.

The depression and the
Schizophrenia:
All the bad karma
Like jumping into lava.

Would I replay cosmic checkers
This time with doctors
In hospital cloisters
Or, would I recur?

A child of despair, I say
Must swim way down, and stray
To be the abyss's prey
Midnight is the way.

[dealing with it]

"I'm Not Here"

I can see that I'm thinking a thought
But what it is no longer matters
I am above the needs of my needs
These thoughts that I have are burning
I can't sit too near to them

When I lie in bed, or sit in a chair
I'm only reminded of what isn't there.

But when I look to my thoughts
And view at them at a distance
I see my only need is to find peace
To pick the burrs from out my skin
This shallowness tugs me again and again.

When I lie in bed, or sit in a chair
I'm only reminded of what isn't there.

I can distract myself with a challenging book
Or write myself into oblivion
Perhaps I'll try some meditation
It can't hurt more than these medications
At night, my thoughts are suppressed.

When I lie in bed, or sit in a chair
I'm only reminded of what isn't there.

It's time to take my daily pills
These things that could sedate a horse
But they only make a zombie of me
That struggles to escape from within this skin
And blast into this world, whole again.

When I lie in bed, or sit in a chair
I'm only reminded of what isn't there.

But I have learned not to touch my thoughts
Not without a few layers of protection
Because I know where they lead.
I have to be responsible,
Not another madman.

[dealing with it]

"Constructive Apathy"

You've created your own fever
It's time to calm down
Rest in solitary
The peace you wanted
Isn't so far away

The struggle is over
Collect your winnings
Know the future is safe
Everyone's working so hard
Pushing the dark away

Everyone lies
To get what they want
See through it all
Better to pick no battles
Than to choose the wrong ones

It's like Y2k
It never happened
Despite all the fuss
Those in the right position
Solved it for the rest

Can everyone work
On the same problems?
No, you just have to trust
That if you do you
Others will do themselves

Problems will fade away
When they are the right person's problems
If you want to fix
The big problems entirely
Get the right people worrying

Tie yourself to yourself
Rest when you need it
And watch as problems dissolve
Be aware of your limits,
Your executive malfunction.

Let the speakers speak
The scientists science
The artists art
Politicians politique
Focus work on yourself.

[dealing with it]

"Schizophrenia"

VERSE 1:
Frozen in stone
A painful comatose
Paint it all
In your head
Something is wrong
Nobody can hear you
As loud as you scream
They might laugh
Wallow in sweat
The clocks in your head
Stop.

CHORUS:
Wait. Listen.
Time never moves.
Only you do.
You don't see your nerves
But you feel them.
Panic. Fear.

VERSE 2:
You have a guitar
But no songs
Bang on the strings
Hope for the best
But everyone laughs
You're only a clown
A curiousity
This city here
Is your only friend
The clocks in your head
Stop.

CHORUS:
Wait. Listen.
Time never moves.
Only you do.
You don't see your nerves
But you feel them.
Panic. Fear.

VERSE 3:
You hear a siren
Is it coming for you?
You run. You run.
Guitar case on your back
You dive through alleys
And over fences
The sirens fade away
You must have won
Heartbeat in your ears
The clocks in your head
Stop.

CHORUS:
Wait. Listen.
Time never moves.
Only you do.
You don't see your nerves
But you feel them.
Panic. Fear.

[dealing with it]

"Unrequited"

We were never together
Though we talked through the night
About God and life and everything.
It was just never enough.

I know that now you're happy
Living far away from me
And, I guess I'm happy too
Because we were so wrong.

In a different world
We could have been something
But that was not meant to be
I can almost forget what we shared.

Every time I dialed the phone
Was like butterflies
But, yeah, we weren't one
Weren't we?

When I think of the path I've gone
I am grateful for solitude
With you, I would never have been
Who I was by myself.

You have your wavelength
And I had my own:
A road to experience
Cold-bloodied experiences

Things I could never share
These things made me me
Your things made you you
Thus I am grateful to fate

For all the mistakes I never made
And all those that I did
I wouldn't take it back
I'd let my days recur eternally.

[dealing with it]

"Ego"

It's for others
That I create
I can't tell the value
All on my own.

It can be trash
Or absolute genius
But to me it's the same
No matter what.

I know others
Who do stuff
I can appreciate their work
Better than mine.

I can only trust
That I'm doing my best
And that this best
Is good enough.

I play songwriter
And philosopher
But is this really
Who I am?

I am what I am not
And I am not what I am
Those tingly words
From anguish speak.

If there's an Absolute
I can't find it
Nothing is perfect:
At best, sincere

I guess I'm sad
That my greatest sincerity
Might be garbage
And I live with that.

[dealing with it]

"Method"

Popularity is a fallacy
Not telling false from true
What many people believe
The skeptics have long since outgrew.

We start with an idea,
Something true by provision.
And by trial-and-error
Come to test our conclusion.

One thousand failures,
Or one thousand steps,
Create an invention
Of one billion reps.

We can say the same
Of a fictional tale
An improbable myth
On the "what-if?" scale.

Some stories fall flat,
But others have draw,
Seen not as mere myths
But as truth without flaw.

But one must remember
That these here ideas.
Don't always exist
Beyond their very own cages.

When not telling stories
Of impossible feats
Be very careful
Of what to believe.

Methodical trial-and-error
Keeps records intact
So others can test, and improve;
And, whenever needed, even retract.

It is the case
That falsification,
In theory at least,
Runs scientific intention.

If one can't repeat
Another's written analysis
There's no reason at all
To take it on trust.

This here's a warning
About taking ideas
As true, absolutely,
Without careful policing.

[dealing with it]

"Worthy of Trust"

Who do you trust?
Is it the man on the box,
Telling you what to think?
Or the person with papers
That say she's a shrink?
The good-faith actor
Who just doesn't know?
Or the deep-thinking man
Who brings you down low?

Who to believe?
The preacher-turned-teacher
Who assesses your worth?
Or the one who's your mother
Just because of your birth?
If not your own parents
And not your own friends
To whom you beholden,
To Whom make your amends?

Who's sounds the bell?
Life is quite tricky
If you go it alone.
But sometimes necessary
To determine the tone
One must use ears
That are tuned by themselves
To find truth and errors
Ring forks by ourselves.

Who not to trust?
At first disregard those
Whose minds never change,
From year upon year
They just stay the same.
But also don't trust
Those whose logic's askew
From fallacy to fallacy,
They say nothing true.

Life is long, and life is hard.
To stay in one place
Is an insult to that,
We can do much much better
Than run a wheel like a rat.
Always keep an open mind
And test each thought with some doubt
(But remember, all ye skeptics,
Not open so much, your brains start to fall out.)

[dealing with it]

"Memories in Time"

Memories echo from the past
They tell me that nothing lasts
As Time progresses on its path
And fills me with the greatest wrath.
All I need to really ask
Is if my future is up to task
To deal with my present demands
Or if these shriveled growing hands
Will one day fail to work for me
And the future's past will plead
But only talk so silently
Unable to create more sheaves
Of my memory's poetry
I even now begin to see
The ever-growing difficulty
Of explaining my portion of agony
And explaining things that can't be wrote
But must be felt upon life's road
A memory in a painful load
In Time this fragile mind will bloat
And I'll be just one more distressed
Person at eternal rest
Forgotten by the Time I've left
Bored and tired and nauseous
Perhaps I'll see through the things
Of space and time and superstrings
And quantum fluctuations
To see the infinite progress
A future if I see I'm blessed
But for now I'm present time's guest
Trapped by my bubbling memories
In Time, you're welcome, thank you, please.

[dealing with it]

"Kant's Cant"

Analytic
Necessity
Conditioned by definition
As true as a tautology

But synthetically
A priori
We need things like space and time
To shape the world and guide the mind.

This transcendental
Ontology
Frees us from ideal and real,
Empirical and rational.

Like Copernicus
The locus of experience
Changes from object to self
And then from self to necessity.

Experience,
Our first access
To any sort of knowledge
Of the world surrounding us.

The colour orange,
Of a carrot,
Synthesis of experience
Tied together a posteriori.

This transcendental
Ontology
Frees us from ideal and real,
Empirical and rational.

Like Copernicus
The locus of experience
Changes from object to self
And then from self to necessity.

Analytic
Necessity
Conditioned by definition
As true as a tautology

But synthetically
A priori
We need things like space and time
To shape the world and guide the mind.

And we don't know
What things are like
In-themselves, outside of mind
All we have is the hidden void.

We can't confront
The world as it is
But only as it appears for us:
Caused and in space and time.

This transcendental
Ontology
Frees us from ideal and real,
Empirical and rational.

Like Copernicus
The locus of experience
Changes from object to self
And then from self to necessity.