Risalda Enudo's Story

'Great. Luke knows... Which means Juniper knows too.' Evanne thought and sighed. She looked at Ris as she knelt down in front of her. At least there was someone in town who wasn't completely hating her. She gave Ris a small smile when she admitted knowing the feeling of screwing everything up. She chuckled softly and nodded. She pushed some hair behind her ear. "Thanks... It's nice to know I'm not alone... sometimes I just think it was a bad idea for me to come back at all... even if it's better for Evelynn." She admitted softly.

"I don't hate you. I'm kinda jealous you have this little angel if I'm being brutally honest." Risalda told her, looking at Evelynn.

Evanne couldn't help but follow her gaze and look down at her daughter as well. She was so tuckered out. She should put her to bed, but she didn't want to leave Noah's side. She could always put another cot in his 'room' or take the one next to his. She wanted to make sure no one would come in and mess with him.

"Thank you... I don't know what I'd do without her... I don't think I'd be the same person I am now without her." She looked back at her friend. She touched her hand, letting Ris know she wasn't alone. Even in this crazy town, they still had people to be there for them. It had been so long since she confided in Ris, she was a little surprised at how easy it was. She hadn't meant to take Noah's side in the whole fight. But it was easier just to stay out of it then get into it.

"What?" Risalda was kinda caught off-guard and stood on her feet again. "Evanne, I know we have one thing in common, Noah. And, I know you think I hate you. The truth is, I don't. Any hate I have goes towards myself for putting him through what I did. At the time, I was swept up in emotions and wasn't thinking about the future outcomes."

Evanne looked up at Ris as she stood up, frowning a little. The thing was, she understood what she was. But had that not happened she would never have gotten her chances with Noah.

The blonde blushed as the doctor wiped away her tears. She nodded her head. That was one thing she didn't need to be told. Evelynn mattered above everything else. "No matter what happens to me and Noah, Evelynn will always have me." She swore. Nothing would ever tear her apart from her child. She gave her a small smile.

Evanne stood up, adjusting Evelynn in her arms. And then she just said it. "I love him... Noah, I mean. For a long time now..." She sighed. "It's not like I just slept with him to sleep with him." She told her. That was one of the main things worrying her. Did Aaron think she just slept with Noah because she was angry at him? Or was he more angry with her and Noah because he knew the truth? That even though she and Aaron had been dating on and off since they were kids, she had always loved Noah. She might now have openly showed it. She didn't even acknowledge it because she did love Aaron. He was her everything. He was her first. Well, Aaron had been her everything. Ever since she was with Noah and she let herself experience that love she knew that she loved Noah. That he was truly her everything. That was one of the reasons she left. She was so afraid of loving Noah and hurting Aaron.

"I- w-what?" Risalda stammered.

Evanne frowned at Ris' reaction. She had hoped that Ris would be happy for her or at least sympathize with her feelings for Noah. Was she angry because she loved Noah? Or was it because he had a chance at a family without Ris. But then when Ris said she'd be happy with him, she definitely didn't sound happy about it. It made sense because maybe she still wanted to be with him.

The blonde sighed and nodded. Of course Ris wouldn't have wanted to listen to her insecurities. And then Ris dropped a bombshell. Ris thought she was talking about her and Luke?

"W-What?" Evanne asked, staring at Ris. "No! No! I-I wasn't meaning you. I-I meant those girls who hang all over Noah, hoping he'll sleep with them and get pregnant and force him into a loveless marriage so they can be the new Mrs. Clay." She stammered. Blushing she stepped closer to her.

"Because you know it meant something to me, there were emotions there. And I'm sure there were emotions there when you... with Luke. Because when I was with Luke, there was definitely emotions there. Mine were more like 'like and hate' emotions but still they were there." The rambling wouldn't stop. Why wouldn't it stop?

"I didn't sleep with Noah to see who was better, even you know girl's wonder. Even still Luke was like 'whoa' but Noah was like 'Whoo-whoaaa!' but... that just might be me. Because he might have been 'Whoo-whoaaa!' for you- oh my god." Evanne pressed her hand to her forehead. "I'm so sorry."

Shaking her head, Evanne felt horrible. She sighed. "I'm so sorry. I just didn't mean you, I swear. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me for even making you think that I meant you." Biting her lip, she leaned down and gave her a one-armed hug. "I'm sorry."

She sighed, straightening up. "I'll just go and check on Noah and let Evelyn sleep without letting her listen to her mother put her foot in her mouth." She gave Ris a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry. Feel free to go to my house and drink all my liquor, spend the night. I'll stay here and check on everything. Go get some rest?"

Evanne moved away from Ris. She had to make things so much worse. She had it meant to. She pulled back the curtain to Noah's room. She slipped in and placed Evelyn on the empty cot next to Noah's. She pulled the blankets up to cover up her daughter. She turned around to face Noah. She adjusted his covers.

Juniper handed Evelynn over to Risalda like she was sack of hot potatoes. As much as Juni loved that little pile of smiles, she could no longer handle the weight. After all, she had other things clouding her brain. The first being Luke. After hearing the news he just seemed to disappear, taking the first exit he could manage. Juniper figured he was off in the back cellars of his bar, finding some quiet place to drink or to just think. All this was a lot to consume. But Juni felt especially bad for her lady-loving friend. One second he thought his brother was going to die and then the next second he was told that Evelynn wasn't his. It was a little strange that Luke had actually cared so much, but juniper just supposed that it was one of those things. One of those things that he had worried about or thought about so often that it became familiar, or even accepted.

Before anyone else could suck her into their vortex of drama, Juniper made her way out of the med hut and into the street. How she thought going outside would be any less chaotic is beyond me. People were still stumbling around like panicking toddlers in Dust. Her crystal blue eyes darted around the main street. She was at the tail end of the chaos and most people were safely tucked away in their houses, waiting for someone to tell them that everything was okay. It was then that she spotted that freckled devil again. Perhaps it was just the way things worked now, Juniper's eyes were trained to find him. He was moving around so buoyantly and sarcastically. Juniper knew that behavior, he was trying not to hurt someone. The blonde stood there, carefully watching as the scene unfolded. For a moment there Juniper thought she would have to run over there and break up a fist fight. The way that the Dusties rolled up there sleeves and the way that Owen's rage slowly boiled up. She knew that family all too well. A nostalgic sigh escaped her lips as she lowered her gaze and kicked rocks on the way back to her house.

Everyone was losing their minds and Juniper didn't know how to deal with it. Evanne and Noah. Ginny and Owen and the twins. Robin. Evanne and Risalda. Robin. Pamela and Aaron. Evanne and Aaron. Robin- Juniper's train of thought was interrupted as the older man that was confronting the Thompkins, Carlos Manch, rammed into her. Nearly knocking her over Juniper looked over her should as he marched away. "Manch, watch it!" she called out. She knew better than to shout at Carlos Manch in such a sour state, but she just couldn't keep her mouth shut.

"You know what, sweetie?" He rebutted, spinning around to face her much quicker than a man his age ought to. "I'm watching alright. I'm watching you and that pack of dogs that followed you back here." His voice was bitter and reminded Juniper of a child, but his aggression and commitment were real. Juniper took a step back, Manch was a stocky man and it wasn't until that moment that Juni realized his true violent potential. Carlos Manch turned around slowly and returned on his route home.

"For the record," Juniper said before Carlo was too far, "they don't belong to me." A small pathetic laugh bubbled out of Juniper as Manch turned to face her once again.

"None of them do... Not anymore."

And with that Juniper made her way home.

As Noah drifted in and out of restless, dreamless sleep, the tense voices in the next room over did nothing to change how alone he felt. His vision was fuzzy around the edges, and the voices changed in clarity so constantly he had a hard time catching more than a couple words at a time. All he knew was that Risalda and Evanne were not having a pleasant conversation. Every now and then he would hear his name, clear as a bell through the buzzing.

The buzzing came to an unsettling halt. Through the curtains came an upset-looking Risalda with a full IV bag. He opened his mouth to speak--to thank her, to say anything--but he couldn't find the words to say. Frustration filled him, and he flushed and scowled as she left wordlessly. Something, be it the bullet wound or the narcotics, was stealing all the important things he was supposed to say. Everything that would make anything better. He scrubbed his face with the working hand as he tried to remember if Risalda had actually walked or if he had imagined it. Suddenly, the curtains were pulled open again, and Noah sat upright in the cot.

"Evanne," he said, "Evelyn. Thank God you're here. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it, I swear. I--" He chocked back the word vomit while Evanne placed her daughter--their daughter--in the cot beside him. He relaxed a bit into his own cot when Evanne fixed his blankets around him, and he couldn't help the dopey, drugged-up grin that spread across his face.

"I'm glad you came back," he said.

Evanne nodded to Risalda as she walked through. She figured it was better to keep her mouth shut then begin to try and apologise again. She's just make things worse. She smiled at Ris and watched her leave as she tucked Evanne in. And that's when Noah started to speak.

"Evanne, Evelyn. Thank God you're here. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it, I swear. I-" She met his gaze as he broke off. He was looking at Evelyn. She looked down at their daughter too. She smiled lightly. The little girl was still asleep. Evelyn could sleep through just about anything. She gave her a peck on the forehead before she moved over to fix his blankets around him. It may be hot in the desert during the day, but temperatures dropped at night.

Seeing a grin appear on his face along with him getting out the words, "I'm glad you came back" Evanne couldn't help but smile at him.

"Of course I came back... You know it's an impossibility for me to stay angry at you for long." Evanne told him softly. She sat down on the edge of his cot and pulled up the edge of his bandage since she could see blood on it. He had mostly stopped bleeding and his stitches looked okay, but she went ahead and put a new bandage on him. "I'm glad you're not in the mood for yelling. I think I've had just about enough of people yelling at me." She told him.

The blonde met his gaze again and smiled. "You don't have to be sorry for what you said, but thank you." She ran a hand through his hair, trying to smooth it down some, how he liked it most of the time. "I should have told you the moment I got back... It's no excuse, but I just couldn't make the words come out. It never seemed to be the right time to drop the 'congratulations it's a girl' drama on you." She told him honestly.

"I didn't want you to think that I had just used you or something... because I do love you, Noah. I was never going to keep you out of her life." Evanne said honestly, watching him. "She knows who you are and all about you... Most of the time, she falls asleep to stories about you." She admitted with a blush.

Evanne gulped, suddenly feeling as if her mouth was dry. Adrenaline still seemed to be pumping through her blood, first from the shooting, then from the fight with him, then the fight with Aaron, and now this. She cupped his cheek carefully. She could only imagine what he was feeling and going through. "I wish I had just stayed... I'm so sorry... I swear I'm never leaving again... I'll never take Evelyn away from you..." Tears came to her eyes again. She had never been one to cry but apparently she was tonight. "I don't deserve your forgiveness or love and I understand if you can't trust but I hope one day you can. I'll do whatever it takes to make this up to you..."

She looked down at him. She knew she shouldn't. He was vulnerable and on drugs. But like that night they shared together, she was vulnerable just like him. The only one who could help her was him. She leaned down, kissing his lips gently. If he wanted to pull away, she's let him.




Yeah, it didn't really need to be said, but Ginny could turn on her husband in many ways. Sometimes it was just her fiery personality, putting an ass hat in their place that did it. She could tell by the glint in his eye he had gone from wanting to fight to wanted to pin her against a wall. Had she not been so exhausted from the twins and haven given birth so recently, she might had been up for it. She have him as mischievous smirk before turning away and following the shyer of the two men to their little home. "Thank you so much for walking us home." She told him sweetly.

Ginny stepped inside first as the boy held open the door for her. She pretty much knew her way around so she easily put Wren in her crib and moved away to turn on their gas lamp. She turned back to the man and smiled at him. "I'm Ginny Thompkins. This is my husband, Owen, and our twins Wren and Micah, and my brother Rob Braddock." She told him, pointing out each of the members of her family. "Please have a seat and I'd be more than happy to look at your shoes." She told him, point him to the rocking chair as she took a seat on her and her husband's mattress. She sighed at the comfort of being able to rest her sore back and feet. "Feel free to let any of your friends know that we'll be happy to repair their shoes as well. I'm hoping to gather up some more supplies so we can do this for the whole town." She said smiling at him.

She looked over at Owen. Even though she was tired, she knew her family needed this. Owen would plant crops, but if they wanted to be needed by the people of Dust they needed to have an angle. And Ginny could make amazing clothes and shoes. The sandals that she had been wearing the last half of her pregnancy were unlike many had seen in years. Her swollen feet wouldn't fit into her boots. She was perfectly happy in her sandals. They might not be good for hard labor, but for what she did, they were perfect.

"Do you know anywhere I could get some leather and maybe some unusable tires?" She asked the boy.

The blonde smiled as she listened to Noah speak. She nodded. ”Technically her last name is still Remmington but I guess we could make that change.” She laughed softly. She added after a few moments. ”If you want to go public about the vote, then I’ll be by your side… but wait till you heal first, okay?” She jumped when she heard Dana come in. Noah was surprised too it seemed, “what the hell are you doing here?”

”Dana? What’s wrong? Is it your father?” Evanne asked, sitting up. She frowned, confused. She slipped off the mattress, recovering him with his blanket but not taking her eyes off of the short brunette.

Evanne glanced at Noah and shook her head. She was sure everything was fine. After all, Dana was the nice sister. She stepped towards Dana. ”If you’re here to see Noah, I’m sorry but he really shouldn’t have any visitors right now. Just family for now. He should be up for more visitors tomorrow, all right?” She gave her a sympathetic smile, placing her hand on her arm to guide her back through the curtains.

Dana couldn’t help but stare at Noah. It was the first time she saw him since...well, for awhile. He was busy with the vote so Pamela saw more of him than she did as of late. She looked up at Evanne as she proclaimed, “just family for now.”

“So,” Dana started, “are you on duty right now or are you considered family now because you fucked Noah before you ran to the woods with his baby?” Dana didn’t know where this anger was coming from, but instead of fighting it she just let it take over, one step at a time.
“You know….just clarifying.”

”I’m on duty.. but yeah, I’ve always been Noah’s family… since we were kids.” Evanne said, unsure what to say. She flushed at what Dana said, taking a step back. ”Okay, not that it’s any of your business, but I didn’t know I was pregnant when I left.” She said shaking her head.

”Why would you even ask me that? Evanne said, her voice shaking from heartbreak.

It took Dana longer than it should to think of an answer for Evanne. Honestly, she just wanted to hear it from her mouth. She wanted to hear how she screwed, literally, another Clay’s chance at being with a good man. She did it first with Aaron when Pamela had a thing for him and she couldn’t stop there. She had to seal the deal with Noah by having a bastard toddler. Instead of answering her question Dana decided to ask another.

“How many guys do you plan on screwing in this town?”

Evanne’s mouth fell open. ”What the hell is your problem? My life is no business of yours. How about you just go home? You’re only making things worse here.”

What the hell IS my problem, Dana thought. The answer to that question came to her clear as day and as quickly as the flash himself, “you are my problem, Evanne. You’ve always been my problem, don’t you get that? You were Pamela’s problem, you were Riz’s problem, and now you are mine. I’m just gonna assume you and Juniper are eskimo sisters, or whatever they call it, on many counts. You just never quit. If it wasn’t Noah it’d be some other guy.” Dana took a second to compose herself as much as she could before continuing but quieter, “I have loved Noah, and only Noah, for as long as I’ve known him. I haven’t faltered or slept around with other guys because I was bored or lonely or Luke crazed. I stayed consistent and waited for the right time.” Dana scoffed, “fuck, even after Noah’s engagement was called off I waited because I knew he needed his space...looks like I should have been doing the exact opposite.” Dana’s eyes scanned Evanne up and down as she spat out her last sentence.

”What the fuck?” Evanne couldn’t believe what she was hearing she scoffed, pacing a few feet away before turning back to her. ”You have no fucking idea anything about me. Just because I don’t go spreading everything that happens in my life everywhere doesn’t mean Noah wasn’t the only one hurting when we were together. You don’t know what love is,” she told her. She rolled her eyes. ”You are just a nosy little schoolgirl with a crush. I have loved Noah all my life. When Noah fell in love with Ris, I let him be happy and kept my feelings a secret so he could stay happy. I tried to find love with Aaron and for awhile I thought I did… That was until I thought I got pregnant and he freaked out. And while he was gone I found out I wasn’t. I thought he broke up with me and I was heart broken because I wasn’t pregnant. I thought I lost two things. And I was upset so I did go to Noah and we comforted each other.”

She shook her head, her blonde curls messing up even more than before. Why was she explaining herself to Dana Clay? Regardless, her mouth kept moving and words continued to pour out. ”And then, Aaron came back and he was happy that we might have a baby. I told him I wasn’t pregnant. And he was upset. I thought we were broken up. And instead of hurting Noah and Aaron more, I ran away. Because I was a coward. And now, I’m not that coward anymore. I will stand up for what I love and believe in. So just go. Don’t forget you’re one of the reasons Noah’s here in the first place.” She snapped, turning her back on the girl to dismiss her. She hated being cruel but she had taken too many things from too many people over the years.

The words echoed inside Dana’s head. Don’t forget you’re one of the reasons Noah’s here in the first place. The words rattled inside her skull like an out of tune javanese gamelan ensemble. They travelled through her body, sending feelings of rage and guilt all over. The words poked and prodded at her soul. Evanne’s decisions concerning Noah and her words hurt Dana more than she wanted them to. Dana, in her rage, decided it was time that she made Evanne hurt too. “I’m done listening to your long ass monologues,” Dana yelled as she leapt at Evanne, grabbing a handful of her hair. She yanked hard, flinging Evanne behind her. She now stood in between Evanne and Noah. The way it should have always been.

Evanne let out a scream as Dana grabbed a chunk of her hair and yanked her backwards. She grabbed at the girl’s hand but she already released her. ”Fighting in the Med Hut? Are you completely childish? She snapped, pushing her hard on her chest. ”Don’t fuck with me, little girl.”

“I wouldn’t fuck with you, Evanne,” Dana smirked at her rival, “everyone else has beaten me to that punch. I’m afraid they won’t be beating me to these.” Dana’s hands become fists as she prepared herself.

Evanne laughed sarcastically. ”Oh, the slut train? Good one. What did you stay up and listen to your momma?” She said, slapping Dana hard across the face.

Dana recoiled from the slap but immediately started letting her fists go. She threw jab after jab, aiming for different parts of Evanne’s face and torso. Evanne was a nurse but Dana was a mechanic. Her body was hardened from all of the hard work and she was a tough girl. Evanne backpedalled to escape the full force of Dana’s punches and they ended up in the front half of the med hut, far from Noah’s bed and out of his view. “Dana,” Evanne called , “you need to stop this.” Evanne spoked between heavy breaths , “how do you think this is going to end?” Dana ignored Evanne’s words and punched ferociously, not seeing Evanne’s knee come up to her stomach. Evanne’s knee connected and Dana was stopped in her tracks, even if only for a few moments.

“I know how this ends,” Dana, already bent over because of the knee to the gut, reached into her boot and pulled out her knife. She quickly lunged at her nemesis and slashed, deep, into Evanne’s right arm. The blood came pouring out. Evanne put her hand over her arm to try to stop the bleeding but Dana had other plans. She grabbed Evanne by the shoulders and threw her onto the ground.

“She’s in here,” a familiar voice from outside the hut called.

Dana ignored the voice and sat on Evanne, knees on her chest. Dana raised her knife, prepared for the final blow. “My life is over, Evanne.” Dana began to cry, “now you’ll know how that feels.” Dana took the knife and made an attempt at Evanne’s life but a hand stopped her. Dana struggled with her oppressor and tried even harder to get to Evanne’s neck with the knife. The blonde squirmed under her, trying to get away from the knife, her hands were slippery with blood but she tried to push the knife away.

“Dana,” Patrick yelled at her, “stop right now.” She didn’t allow Patrick’s voice to phase her. Dana tried again to connect her knife with Evanne’s jugular but Patrick with all his might held her back.

“Dana, please!” Luke’s voice joined her father’s. He went to grab Dana’s shoulders to aid Patrick who was there first.

”Please… Dana…” Evanne said, struggling under her. Tears coming to her eyes. ”You still have a life…”

It wasn’t the terror in Evanne’s eyes that told Dana that something was wrong. Evanne was terrified from the moment that the punches started flying. It was the lack thereof all of a sudden that alarmed the Clay girl. All of the strength that was holding Dana back suddenly disappeared and she fell facedown, dropping her knife completely. Dana turned to face her father, who was paler than he should have been. He let out a groan, unable to hold onto his daughter. He stumbled backward, grabbing at his heart. His chest burned and everything looked off. He could hear the pounding of his heart in his ears. Without knowing what happened, he fell to the ground. “Dana…” He said weakly.

”Patrick?” Evanne asked, sitting up even though she was in incredible pain. Tears were already streaming from both girls’ faces but they both forgot about each other and looked towards the founder of Dust who was losing his own personal battle right in front of them. Patrick fell to the ground, losing consciousness. He looked up at his daughters, for everyone was a child of his in his head, and spoke softly, almost a whisper, “you have to do better than us.” Patrick Clay shut his eyes, with no hope of ever opening them again.

Evanne’s nursing took over as she shot up to help Patrick but she too was losing her own battle with the huge gash in her arm oozing blood all over the hut floor. Evanne was down on the ground faster than she got up. She too shut her eyes.

As soon as Evanne was gone from his side, Noah was hit by a geometric truck. A square, or probably a triangle. He knew the feeling. He'd experienced it before. It came with the memory of blonde curls; high, bright peals of laughter at his expense; a dare; so many rings on long, pale fingers; and the best fireside make out session he'd ever had. The yelling in the room became singing and laughing in his mind, and his hands itched to take out the IV. Once he had accomplished that, all while Evanne and Dana were hugging and laughing and giving each other playful shoves, Noah stood from his bed--the comfiest, most luxurious he had ever felt--and knelt beside Evelynn's.

She was already awake and giggling very strangely. It almost sounded like crying to Noah, but that was impossible. What was there to cry about? Colors were so vivid, and everyone seemed to be having fun. He scooped up his daughter with his good arm and held her close to his body. She was the softest thing he'd ever felt, and he sat cross-cross applesauce on the floor--the beautiful, dusty, comfortable floor--to rock her back and forth. He didn't know how long he spent there, staring at Evelynn.

As Patrick and Luke came in to join the huddle--what was in Dana's hand? Some kind of device to allow her to hug more effectively?--everything suddenly went to shit. One moment everything was fine, the next Patrick and Evanne were on the floor, Evanne bleeding bright crimson.

Amongst the yelling, Noah spoke. "Luke," he said quietly, "try to stop the bleeding. Dana get Risalda."

Dust was quiet for the next four days. The usual gossip that circulated between Dusties was silenced with the wind; it seemed futile and childish to spread rumors, whether they were true or not. There was a hushed way about the people as they soaked up the tragedy of Patrick Clay and his terribly mislead daughter, Dana. Perhaps it was because no one really knew what to say or because there was still tension regarding the newcomers, but no one looked each other in the eyes.

In a series of about twenty days Dust had been turn up side down and shaken sideways. Some of its people were caught off guard and fell, while the rest of them held on for dear life. Most of the original Dusties would argue that this was because of the newcomers. Others would stand to say it was because of the unchanged communism of the town. Dust had been a thriving settlement for close to thirty years with no changes or exceptions to the rules, yet its people were crumbling beneath the pressure. There were many unanswered questions that zoomed through the heads of the town, but no one dared to ask them, not in a time like this.

The silence of the people was unbroken as the settlement soberly set up Patrick Clay’s funeral. In the center of town was a platform decorated with a red velveteen skirt and a collection of classically Patrick Clay items scattered on the foreground. There was a Polaroid of him with a young Pamela on his knee and an even younger Dana on his shoulders in a black frame. Along the edges were dried flowers, pale pink and yellow pedals that had been collected over the past two months for this sole purpose. Imbedded in the stale blossoms and stems were little trinkets and books that were Patrick’s, and at least a dozen Playbills.

It was late morning when the service started and every person in Dust was there. Most people brought their own chairs and a few stragglers stood in the back or sat on the ground. There was no official priest and no official words, but there was a long line of people who wanted to say something.

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Juniper stood in the back with her arms crossed and frown present on her face. If it wasn’t enough that Noah got shot, Juni had to come back to this mess. Evanne was sitting at the edge of the crowd in a rusty wheelchair and as pale as apiece of paper. It didn’t take long for Juniper to put the pieces together. The whole thing disgusted her; she had even seen and spoken with Dana in the wilderness just yesterday! That bitch couldn’t even confess to what had happened; she had just told Juni and Aaron that she needed some air.

“Unbelievable.” Juniper muttered to herself, thinking about Dana, as she watched Marina Freeds tearfully express her gratitude for Patrick. In any other given circumstance Juniper would have taken her turn up there and said that Patrick was like a father to her, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Juniper looked up into the clear blue sky, the pasty sun beamed down on the tired town of Dust. She should have been grieving like the rest of the people, but she was boiling inside. This was just another thing she would suppress until further notice. She had been unbelievably honest with Aaron out in the wilderness, but she had also been harsh and unsympathetic.

Juniper’s mind wandered just as her eyes did, checking in on everyone. Diane Clay sat at the front as unmoved as a statue, and Pamela was unseen by Juni. Noah was also toward the front, pale, but moving around fine. Evanne looked like death and her baby Evelynn was being looked after by her mother. At the other edge of the crowd were the Thompkins, Owen was wringing a hat uncomfortably while his wife held one of their children, the other baby was tucked away in a large weaved basket. Robin of course was the first person she had found, but she saved him for last. Her eyes scanned him up and down before returning to the funeral. Now Carlos Manch was taking his stand, all the words that were spoken by the last five people meshed together and became white noise to Juniper.

“Dammit,” she said, finally bringing everything in her head to a halt. This made a couple of Dusties turn around with annoyed faces, then they returned to the service without much mind.

The last four days has been a nonstop hellish roller coaster. It took nearly twenty-four hours for Evanne to even wake up. After that, she was in and out of consciousness until the night before. She spent the whole night thinking about everything that had happened. And the last words Patrick said to them echoed through her head on a loop. She knew she needed to speak at the funeral. They needed to know what he wanted them all to do.

After the last speaker finished, she nodded to the man who had been nice enough to help wheel her to the funeral and now to the front. Evanne watched the casket as they near it until he turned her way to face everyone. Her blue eyes searched the faces of her fellow Dustians.

"We..." The blonde paused. Her voice was a whisper. She coughed to clear her throat. "We lost the father of Dust. And no one can deny the good he did. But even in his last moments he had a new lesson for us. 'You have to do better than us.'" She let the words sink in. Would they understand, like she hoped she did, the lesson he needed to pass on?

"I intend to do just that..." She looked at the picture of Patrick. A shaky sigh escaped her breath. "Thank you for everything, Patrick." She said more to herself than anyone else. She nodded to Jamie, the man helping her, and let him wheel her off. Evelyn slipped down from Mrs. Remmington's lap and hurried over to her mother. With her unarmed arm, she helped her daughter into her lap. She didn't mind her daughter using her as a jungle gym. Evelyn was perhaps the only thing in these last few days that made her feel like she was still alive.

Evelyn wrapped her arm around her mother's neck. Evanne hugged her back with her unharmed arm. She whispered soothing words to her daughter and didn't meet anyone's eyes. She felt like a fish out of water. Even when she came back to Dust with her daughter, she could handle it. She came back for Noah. Hell, she came back to beg forgiveness from Aaron.

Now, she felt so alone. It wasn't anyone's fault really. She had been isolated from everyone to heal. She didn't even think she was healing too well. It would take awhile, yes, but something was wrong. Slowly, her hand closed into a fist then slowly opened. She watched her hand do this. And yet, besides the ache in her arm, she didn't feel it. Would it be like this forever? If there was nerve damage, there was the potential that she wouldn't have full function in her arm, let alone hand. If she couldn't manage, she'd have to relearn to do everything with her left hand.

Turmoil coursed through her veins. She wasn't just angry, she was scared. She may never be the same person she was before. Could anyone really be the same person after being attacked in that way? She didn't hate Dana, she pitied her. She did think Dana have some sort of punishment, but she didn't think she should be killed; even if that meant Evanne may never be safe or have peace of mind.

As Noah sat in the second row, he couldn't help but contrast the funerals of his parents from the spectacle of weeping and wailing surrounding him. Not even half the people had shown up to either his mother's or his father's, and he and Luke had been the only ones to shed tears. Here, with Patrick Clay's body in the casket in the center of Dust, it seemed there was not a dry eye to be found. Noah could barely hold back vomit while Marina Freeds sobbed her words at the podium. His eyes bore into the back of Diane Clay's head, only one chair in front of him.

He was reminded how different their guidance was. Polar opposites, in reality. From the first day of Noah's training to become the leader, Diane had told him how little people could think for themselves as a group. According to her, they needed constant guidance and a firm hand to keep them from killing each other, accidentally or otherwise. Patrick, on the other hand, had said that good people like the ones in Dust just needed a mediator and protection from outside threats.

Noah had been the official leader of Dust for almost four years, and he still couldn't figure out which one of them was right.

When Evanne was wheeled up to the front, he bowed his head. He couldn't bear to look her in the eyes after what had happened, and he still wasn't sure what to do about it. He had only visited her in the Med Hut while she was asleep, and he couldn't stop himself from panicking every time he saw her. What he had done was visit Evelynn every day while she was In Martha Remmington's custody. They didn't talk about why he was visiting or why at times he would just stare at Evelynn and try to pick out which features came from whom. He didn't know if Martha, or Dust for that matter, was aware of Evelynn's parentage.

Brushing dirt off his arm sling, he tried not to listen to Evanne. Nonetheless, he heard every word. "'You have to do better than us,'" she announced as Patrick's last words.

Noah couldn't imagine doing better anymore. It was clear to him that they were--he was--doing so much worse.

Ginny hated funerals. They reminded her of burying her parents. Her mom died before she married Owen, but she had gotten to meet him at least. Her father performed the small ceremony for them. He had been so heartbroken after losing his wife that he died less than six months after her. It had been hard on Ginny to lose both of her parents in the same year. She had gone from a daughter to a wife to an orphan. After that, she felt a need to always protecting Robin.

Micah fussed in her arms as if he could sense everyone's distress. She hushed him, rocking him gently. She knew she was crying. She was very emotional these days. Her mother warned her that her heart would break more easily after she had children. She'd be fragile but strong. Her mother told her, "Though you may cry. That doesn't mean you aren't strong. It just means your heart has gotten bigger and sometimes you gotta let a little out." That was one of the last lessons her mother tried to teach her. She didn't know Patrick that well, but she knew he was a great man. Just the reaction from everyone had been enough to tell her. It never helped that she was a sympathetic crier as well.

In the past few days, a lot had been changing. Word got out that Ginny was a witch when it came to mending shoes. She had mended the boy's that night and made him a brand new pair because his were too small for his feet. After what seemed like a few hours of bargaining with Mr. and Mrs. Rogers, they traded her leather for two pairs of shoes. With the leather and a few other things, she found to use. She had made them each a pair before doing anyone else's.

Even with the grief all around town, someone would end up on their small door step to trade for mending or a new pair of shoes. She was already running low on supplies. At least now they would have more things to trade for more supplies.

There were still plenty of people who didn't trust them. But people seemed more willing to test them now. Ginny prayed it would last and they would not be blamed for this great man's death and kicked out. She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. "Poor Evanne... Everything seems to be going to hell." She whispered to her brother and her husband. They were close enough to hear everything but far enough away that they could whisper and no one would notice.

She looked through the crowd of mourning people. She caught Juniper looking at them. She nodded to her, hoping to convey some sort of sympathy. She turned back to the front. "Juniper made it back just in time for the funeral. I don't think she even knew what had happened. Maybe... you should talk with her." Ginny said to her brother.



Unknowingly Evanne had started crying. She only noticed when Evelyn touched a tear rolling down her face. "Mumma..." Evelyn said. Evanne tried to smile at her daughter. "Momma's okay." She promised her. She kissed her forehead lightly.

Thankfully, the funeral seemed to be breaking up. Most would probably go over to Mrs. Clay's home to give their sympathies. Evanne wasn't sure if she could handle that. She just wanted to go home, to her own bed and sleep. Or... just not think about anything. It hadn't been lost on her that Noah hadn't visited her or even looked her way when she was at the funeral. Did he hate her now? Her mother had mentioned that he had been spending time with Evelyn when she was helping her dress this morning. Her mother told her as more of a way to get information out of her than to tell her how sweet it was.

Evanne told her mother nothing. She looked at Jamie. "Do you think you could take us home, Mr. Jamie?" She asked him tiredly.

Mrs. Remmington was over by her side now. "Are you sure you want to leave yet? If so, that's fine. I have your room all made up." She held her arms out to take Evelyn but she just clung to her mother.

"I meant my home, mom. I'm ready to go back to my home." Evanne said softly.

Her mother scoffed. "You are unfit to live on your own this soon. You won't be able to take care of my granddaughter."

"I can manage just fine. I'll send word if I need help okay? Just..., please. Let us go." Evanne said, looking away from her mother. Her mother had handed down a lot of cruelty over the years. She knew if she gave her mother an inch she'd take a mile. And Mrs. Remmington was not getting a mile in her or her daughter's life. Jamie didn't move, unsure what to do.

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