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Derrick Cartner

0 · 2,167 views · located in Cirque du Soir

a character in “Cirque Du Soir”, as played by bandgeek

Description

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Name: Derrick Cartner
Stage Name: Snake
Age: Fifteen
Gender: Male
Role: Freak in the sense that he has the fangs of a snake, entertainer as a snake tamer.
Blood Type: O


Eye Color: Blue/Teal, depending on lighting.
Hair Color: Dark Teal/Black, depending on lighting.
Dressing Style: Victorian London
Weight: 100 lbs
Height: 5'6" ft
Features: Eye patch over right eye, hiding a glowing purple demon star instead of a normal eye. Red circle tattoo with a symbol inside a bit below the left side of his chest. Blue/teal earrings. Fangs that most believe are fake.



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Likes: Music, night time, playing guitar, playing drums, cheesecake, secrets, games, quiet, being along.
+ Music & Night time
+ Playing Guitar & Drums
+ Cheesecake & Sweet things
+ Secrets & Games
+ Quite & Being alone

Dislikes: Loud noises, idiots, arrogance , jocks, cheaters, whores, females, chocolate, bullies, name calling, bright lights, day time.

Flaws: He has a tendency to be very dismissive and uncaring when it comes to others, especially leaders and those "in charge" of him. Derrick immediately places himself above everyone else, in intelligence at least.

Personality: Derrick's primary mode of living is focused internally, where he takes things in primarily via intuition. His secondary mode is external, where he deals with things according to how he feels about them, or how they fit with his personal value system. You could call him the "mature" one, depending on his mood.

He is rather complex, a highly intuitive individual. Artistic and creative, he lives in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities.

Derrick places great importance on having things orderly and systematic in his outer world. He puts a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done. On the other hand, he operates within himself on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. He knows things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. He is usually right though, and he usually knows it. Consequently, he puts a tremendous amount of faith into his instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds, and may result in him not being as organized as others tend to be. Or we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy car.

He has an uncanny insight into people and situations. He gets "feelings" about things and intuitively understands them. This is the sort of thing that other people may scorn and scoff at, and he himself does not really understand his intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, he is protective of his inner self, sharing only what he chooses to share and when he chooses to share it. He is a deep, complex individual, who is quite private and typically difficult to understand. He holds back most of himself, and can be secretive.

He has a tendency to be stubborn and to ignore other people's opinions. Life is not necessarily easy for the boy, but he is capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.



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Skills: He has an uncanny ability to speak with and control snakes. He also has his own pair of fangs, which is why he believes he can speak with them. Most people think these fangs are fake. He wears an eyepatch over his right eye because instead of it being, well, a normal eye it instead glows purple with a demon star within it. No one knows of this.

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So begins...

Derrick Cartner's Story

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Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Julius Barker
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Derrick sat still for a long while, his snakes paying little attention to him rather than the occasional disgruntled hiss. They were upset that something else was in their room, that the little human boy that controlled them was bothering them. "Even you guys don't want me." At least Ian was still letting the boy hold him, but he didn't really want to push that either. Apparently he'd already asked for too much that night, demanding he know why Julius liked Brink and not him. It had made sense at the time, he had to see that. There was no other time that Julius got jealous except for when Derrick was hanging on Brink, other times it seemed he didn't care what Derrick did- though the younger boy was usually all over Julius when he was around. And the ring master was definitely more his type... not that he knew of any type Julius liked. Hell, until now he hadn't even though Julius liked men. But they were both older, he was just a kid, barely sixteen. It was a childish crush and they both probably knew that, but Derrick liked him...

Up until tonight, he had been content with assuming Julius was straight and saw him just as a friend. Up until tonight. Tonight, when Julius came in the tent and saw Brink and him. Tonight, when he had chased after his friend. Tonight, when he finally got the kiss he had been dreaming about for so long. Tonight, when Julius ran away from him.

Then why did it seem so wrong?


The answer was actually quite simple. Derrick had pressed him into it, the kiss wasn't just a spur of the moment thing, he'd been pressured into it. Now it just felt fake, careless. A way to shut him up. Slowly, Derrick shifted back into that arrogant bastard that he usually was. After carefully letting Ian down, he stood and made his way out of the back room. First he set to cleaning up where he had helped Synthia, mumbling the whole time about stupid girls[ Alynna, Synthia ] and stupid boys[ Julius, Moshe, Brink ] and how everyone was ignorant and needed a lesson in common sense. Once the blood was cleaned up, he wrote a quick note and taped it up in front of the tent before heading off towards the lake.

As soon as he arrived he noticed Moshe and Synthia, but they were sitting off at the other side of the lake, far enough away that if he returned to where he had first seen Julius he wouldn't be able to see or hear them. Before they had a chance to notice him, he turned and went straight towards the small alcove of trees that had hidden he and Julius the first time. It wasn't until a few moments ago that he had actually realized where he was going, but he knew that the decision had been made for him long ago. If Julius showed tonight, they'd... talk. If he didn't, he would stay out of the boys life.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Brink Orpheus Character Portrait: Julius Barker Character Portrait: Basil Riddle
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Currently, Spade had fallen into an almost... comfortable state. That is, until the man beside him starting squirming about- seemingly having a nightmare or something along the lines of one. Though hesitant, the white haired man moved onto his side, wrapping both arms around the ring master and almost holding him. He hadn't prepared himself to lean down and touch his lips to the others forehead, actually he was quite surprised he had, but he wouldn't dwell on it now. It was likely Brink was still asleep, no one would know anyways. "You're okay," he whispered, barely a breath as he laid his head back down, not letting go of the man. Being a caretaker was much more work than he had originally though it would be, who knew one person could need him so much. Well, it wasn't like Brink had directly said he had needed him, but it was still his job to make him... okay.



Derrick was laying on his back out by the shore, shirt and shoes discarded a few feet away. When he head the music in the big top start up he cringed, knowing that meant Alynna would be on, and Julius- Alynna most likely on Julius. Still, it wasn't his place to say anything about it, not anymore. Whenever did that change? Perhaps when he realized that Julius could have liked Alynna, and he had been standing in his way for so long. Rolling onto his side, he reached out and grabbed Julius's shirt, pulling it back to him and wrapping it around him. Even if it was small on the man, it still covered him completely, even unbuttoned.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Moshe Fairview Character Portrait: Julius Barker Character Portrait: Nixie Blue
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Synthia blushed when he kissed her cheek, watching Julius's act she wondered where Derrick was, wasn't he always coming to watch Julius?. "Your welcome Moshe" she looked at him and smiled, than looked back at the stage feeling Moshe squeeze her hand and than run off she watched him leave her. She suddenly felt scared and alone she didn't like feeling lonely, she didn't like being in big crowds alone she whimpered quietly and waited for him to come back. When he came and sat down again she hugged him, her clothes were damp and uncomfortable but she would have to wait to get changed. "It's okay Moshe" she nuzzled his shoulder.

Looking up at him he had a smile on his face and she wondered what made him so happy, she moved back pulling away from him a bit looking at Nixie. She had never really gotten a hug before and didn't give hugs out usually, the crowd around her was defeaning, she had barely heard what Moshe said. When his voice was heard she looked at him and blinked, about ask what he meant when he pulled her into a hug; his hug was warm she hugged him back closing her eyes slightly. Smiling lightly she was really confused about Moshe's actions so far, first he said that he would not preform until she could and now he was going to preform.

She wondered what he was up to, she hoped that no one got hurt tonight.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Brink Orpheus Character Portrait: Julius Barker Character Portrait: Basil Riddle
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Spade nodded, watching as Brink went over towards the ladder. "Be careful," he said lowly, stepping over to stand next to the ladder, one hand holding it in place. His eyes never left his friend, always prepared to catch him if he slipped. Even if they were almost the same height, Spade was surprisingly very strong for such a lanky man. Long limbed and thin, there was almost nothing on him, yet he still didn't eat. But he didn't actually need food, or anything in that matter, to sustain his body. "Is there anything else down here I can grab for you?" He eyed the box sitting a few feet away. If he could limit the amount of times Brink had to keep going up and down the ladder, he would.



The boy lying on the grass was in a state between consciousness and sleep. He could hear everything happening around him. Synthia and Moshe had left more than an hour ago, it seemed. When the roars and growls came from the big tent, he knew that the lion show had started. Something inside of him ached at that moment, as he remembered his promise to be at Julius's show tonight. It was like that something was tugging at him, trying to get him to rise and return to his best friends side. But he couldn't. He wouldn't let himself break now. This was what he had to do, just wait here until the show was over. Then there would be more waiting, as he continued to hope for Julius to come. Honestly, he didn't expect him to. After all, he had been quick to run away after the kiss. They were five years apart anyways, it just wouldn't work out.

And then he was reminded of when he had started to fancy Julius. It had been bad, at first he had been closer to hating him rather than falling for him. That certain morning, Derrick had been in his usual grouchy mood. Except it was worse, to the point where he was close to just ripping out the throats of anyone who tried to talk to him. At least that was what he had told himself, he wasn't quite sure if he would have actually had the guts to tear someone's throat out. It'd be pretty gross, feeling all the blood and skin and flesh in your mouth. He was getting off topic, though. Finally at the breakfast tent, he had exploded. Someone said something too much and he just went off. Soon Julius had arrived and was quick to try and break up the fight. Again, Derrick wanted nothing of it. He had screamed and swore, said terrible things to Julius and the others. But there was no doubt that Julius got the worst of it. This was a time when he still wasn't used to people trying to be nice to him. The others just yelled back, they fought back. Julius was trying to calm him down though, he wasn't screaming at him or anything, he was just talking to him. That was what had angered Derrick the most, because he didn't know how to deal with it.

On the verge of tears, the fourteen year old had run away. He hadn't expected Julius to follow, and even after Derrick yelled at him again, tears streaming down his face, Julius hadn't said anything back. Once he was finished, all he remembered was that his friend had sat next to him and just held him. Letting him cry and say whatever he wanted.

The boy lying on the grass was fully awake now. Sitting up, he took a shaky breath and wrapped his arms around his knees, the purple shirt still wrapped around his shoulders.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Alynna "Risque"  Silverkin Character Portrait: Julius Barker
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"I'm glad you knew it," He replied dryly, a big grin for the crowd still spread across his face as he waved at the roaring audience. "Because I was having my doubts there." With a final wave, stopping only to pick up his whip, Julius slipped away, out of the tent and into the night. It was even cooler now that the sun had vanished completely, the moon and stars casting an eerie glow around the circus ground. There were still crowds running around, visiting the smaller tents, enjoying the various rides, buying merchandise, fully enraptured by the thrill of the circus. It almost reminded him of himself all of those years ago, staring in wonder and awe at the Cirque du Soir, making sure to see every sight, enjoy every attraction the circus had to offer.

He reached his caravan after a moment, walking through the crowds with only the occasional glance his way. His outfit was gaudy, of course, but nowhere near enough to draw much attention. Besides, anyone who knew who he was was probably still enjoying the show in the big tent as the poster advertising his event had his face obscured. Inside his caravan, it was eerily silent as he returned his whip and top hat to their normal resting places, collapsing back on his bed. He froze for a moment before sitting up again and staring at the comforter or, more accurately, at the clothing on it. Oh. Derrick had left his clothes, the material still damp from earlier today. Derrick. The thought had Julius pulling himself back to his feet and hurrying outside, slamming the door behind him.

Between all of the action, he'd forgotten his resolve to speak to Derrick, to try to explain what the Hell had happened earlier today before he'd, to put it bluntly, freaked out and retreated to the Lion Den. Still in his performing clothes, the golden vest like a beacon in the otherwise dark road, he started towards the lake. He didn't know if Derrick would actually be there, even if he had promised. But, if nothing else, it was a place to start.

The lake was a peaceful spot, the moon reflecting off of the tranquil waters, the only light in the tent of trees. Julius finally slowed down- he'd been right. There was Derrick, sitting up in the grass, facing away from him. There was some hesitation now- would he want to talk to him? Was this really the right time?

"Derrick?" His voice was uncharacteristically soft, but it still carried across the silent night over to the younger boy. Julius was leaning one hand hesitantly against the rough bark of a tree, face twisted with uncertainty. "Can we talk?"

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Brink Orpheus Character Portrait: Julius Barker Character Portrait: Basil Riddle
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The tears had stopped by the time he heard someone approaching. Slowly, he uncurled himself, dropping his arms from around his knees and letting his legs stretch out in front of him. He still didn't look back at Julius though, too afraid that even in the dark of the night that he might see the wet streaks that the tears left, or the red in his eyes from wiping them. And all the while he was trying to be angry at the older man, but he couldn't make himself think a single bad thing about him. Actually, all he could think about was how he was actually here. He actually came, he thought, almost hopefully. Maybe, he cares, but he didn't want to get his hopes up. Can we talk? The famous break up line, used for centuries. But, they weren't even together in the first place. Could it be a new beginning for them? Or was it just going to be an awkward, forget about earlier. Can we just be friends?

Taking a deep breath, he turned enough to look up at Julius, nodding slightly as he patted the ground next to him. "Sure," he tried to come off as nonchalant, but the breathlessness in his voice gave it away. For a moment the wind picked up, which reminded him that he had taken off Julius's shirt when he was angry earlier. Rather embarrassed, he slipped his arms back through the sleeves and busied himself with buttoning it up, grateful to have a distraction. Otherwise he probably would have thrown himself at Julius, or started crying again, or started pouring out his feelings. Very un-Derrick-like. Taking he deep breath, he finished buttoning the shirt and then pulled his knees up again, figuring that if he didn't keep hold of himself he was going to end up doing something very, very stupid. "You first."



After handing Brink what he needed, Spade went back to his previous task of watching the ring master and making sure there was no way he could be harmed. He wasn't quite sure what it was about the man, but he felt the need to protect him. If there was anything he remembered from his past, it was that he was always the one in charge of protecting others, never was he the protected. But he couldn't really say that it was a bad thing, being the protected made him feel weak. And, well, he liked having an advantage over others. That wasn't really a bad thing either, to like being on top. It was good to know your opponents weak spots, the chinks in their armor. Everyone had some, even him.

Growing a bit anxious, Spade stepped away from the ladder and closer towards the net, looking up at Brink. "Are you okay?" It was the second time he had asked the question in less than twenty minutes, he couldn't help but be... concerned- no, bothered by this humans safety.

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Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Julius Barker
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Julius hesitated for a moment more, standing there at the edge of the tree line. Derrick's back was facing him, the shadows from the surrounding trees making him appear to be little more than a black silhouette at this distance. He could still leave, say forget it and hide away in his caravan until this all blew over. But he couldn't do that, now could he? For one thing, the awkwardness would be impossible to avoid since they all lived together. More importantly, he couldn't- he wouldn't- do that to Derrick.

As if to cement that point in his mind, Derrick turned around a little, beckoning him over. Illuminated by the pale moonlight, he could see the tear tracks present on his cheeks and Julius wasn't sure if that tugged at his heart strings or confused him. Settling on both, he made his way over to the younger boy, sitting down next to him, facing the lake. Derrick was pulling his shirt, Julius' shirt, back on, buttoning it up hurriedly. There was another moment of silence, Julius opening his mouth to speak before closing it again, searching for the right words. Him first. That was only fair, even if he didn't like it.

"I-Well," He was uncharacteristically tongue-tied before swallowing and taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry- about earlier, I mean. I shouldn't have..." He paused, trying to figure out what he was actually apologizing for before deciding on, "I shouldn't have run away like that, after kissing you, I mean." He couldn't say he was sorry about the kiss itself- he wasn't a liar. "I guess I was jealous, I mean, I know I was jealous. I should probably apologize about bursting into your tent while I'm at it.." He trailed off again.

"I, um- What I said earlier. I meant it. That I like you, that is, but..." He bit his lower lip, picking at the grass around him idly, tearing one blade apart in his fingers. "I mean, I shouldn't, now should I? You're just fifteen and I'm- I'm like a weird old man." He snorted slightly. The age difference may have been five years, but at this point in their lives, with Julius a grown man and Derrick still a teen, well, it seemed weird.

"And I know you like to, well, flirt a lot. Like with Brink and the other guys around the circus, and me, and I respect that, I really do, so I know I'm getting mixed signals here. It's just like," His voice cracked with a bit of a sob. "Like last time. I guess I'm naive, well, I know I'm naive, but this isn't the first time that- that I've gotten this wrong. That I started to like someone when I thought they were interested because they were flirting with me. I know at the circus people flirt just for fun and I've been trying not to take it seriously, but I can't. I just really can't at this point." His hand flew over his mouth, not to silence himself, but to muffle a sob. Aw, Hell, here he was getting overemotional again.

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Brink Orpheus Character Portrait: Julius Barker Character Portrait: Basil Riddle
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Spade made a note to remember that his breath had literally caught in his throat when Brink had pushed himself off the edge. Had that ever happened before? Surely not, it was uncommon for Spade to care for anyone or anything, he didn't even care for himself. It really was troublesome, having to take care of the ring master. After all, they were the same age, shouldn't he be able to take care of himself? As it seemed, the standing answer for such a question was no. The winged girl seemed to be the one that took care of him.

Finally he was able to breath again, once Brink was safely on the other side and standing. "If you had gotten hurt, I swear I would have killed you." He called up, clearly annoyed but no doubt he could point out the caring in his voice. When had that gotten there? He had no idea, why should he care about the ring master? It was a question that would certainly be roaming around in his mind for days to come.



All Derrick really wanted to do was throw himself onto Julius, tell him to shut up, and then kiss him with a years worth of feelings that he had had locked up. And he wanted Julius to hesitate, but to slowly come around to him, to accept the feeling of his best friends lips on his. But he knew this wasn't the time for that. Right now they needed to talk, unfortunately about their feelings, which was something Derrick didn't like doing. It wasn't like he was emotionless, but he hated showing that things could get to him so easily. It made him feel childish and stupid, and that was definitely not what he was going for right now. He needed to act mature, like an adult, much older than just fifteen. Like Julius had so clearly pointed out, Derrick was a child compared to him. But there was no way one could consider his feelings to be child-like, there was no doubt in his mind that he truly cared for Julius.

It took a long time for him to even be able to let Julius see him being even a bit emotional. After that day that he had held him and let him cry, well, he had started to open up to him a bit more. Usually the only thing he showed towards others was anger, disdain, disappointment. But with Julius, he started being nicer, gosh after awhile he had begun to adore the older boy. He was glad when the other came to sit next to him, knowing full well that he could have just turned around and left then. It would have broken his heart, but he supposed he would have been easier for both of them. To have just forgotten about what happened earlier, returned to the easy friendship they had before. Could they have done that? Did he want that? Not really, but anything for Julius.

Hearing Julius admit he was jealous pleased him in a way it shouldn't have. But it meant that he cared, not just as a friend, maybe as something more. Though when he heard him say that he shouldn't like him, well, it tore something in him that made the tears gather in his eyes all over again. He was careful to conceal them, ducking his head and refusing to make an attempt to wipe his eyes. Hopefully they would just go away, hopefully Julius wouldn't tear him apart anymore. When his friend's voice started to break, he dared look up, realizing that he wasn't the only one who was being overemotional. Carefully he reached over, attempting to take his friends hand and draw the shapes like he always would.

"Not all circus people flirt just for fun," he said softly, voice still slightly shaky. "I flirt with you because I'm scared... I'm scared that if I'm serious you'll push me away. You'll be disgusted that some fifteen year old freak boy actually likes you." The teen shook his head, a humorless laugh forcing its way past his lips. "You could be my weird old man, ya'knoe?" It was so, undeniably cheesy. "So, I'm fifteen and your twenty. When I'm twenty, you'll be twenty five. Why should it be weird now, if it wouldn't be weird then? It's not like you're going to influence me, if anything I'm worse than you are." He managed a smile, sad even as he tried to comfort his friend. "Please, Julius? I just want a chance to prove to you I'm not a little kid. What I feel for you isn't just a childish crush."

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Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Julius Barker
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Julius willingly let Derrick take his hand, fingers drawing shapes and pictures onto his skin. It was comforting, more than anything else, having that touch, that connection with the younger boy. The lion tamer tried to push his more violent emotions down- the ones that demanded he start sobbing or did something drastic- but they were slowly wearing down his determination, a stray tear fighting its way out and rolling down his cheek.

It was a lost cause when Derrick began to speak, his first words hitting directly into the center of Julius' problem because he couldn't be right. Lydia had told him that and he'd seen it- everyone seemed to either be flirting with people or too socially awkward to try. And the fact that Derrick had been flirting because he meant it and Julius hadn't been flirting because he had meant it was almost too much to bear. A sort of comedy(tragedy?) of errors that had finally come to a breaking point today, tonight.

At the younger boy's humorless laugh, Julius turned his hand around to grip Derrick's in a firm grasp, his own thumb stroking the snake charmer's pulse in an attempt to be comforting, wanting to say something, but holding it in. It was Derrick's turn to speak, after all. Julius had already said his peace, the younger boy should have the same opportunity.

"That's true," He said with a little snort, lips quirking upwards into a tiny smile, voice muffled by pure emotion. "You'll probably end up corrupting me." But he didn't sound very torn up about it, the thought of letting this happen. But could he? Better yet, should he? Derrick was pleading with him now, for a chance to prove that this wasn't all an awkward mistake, to prove that his emotions were real, not a childish flight of fancy. But it was dangerous- what if...? He turned his head to face Derrick.

"I..." And it sounded like he was going to refuse. Was going to apologize and say the horrendous 'I hope we can still be friends' line. "If you're sure and... and you'll take it slow because I'm obviously not used to..." He waved his free hand. "This. Then, I... All right." He squeezed the younger boy's hand. "Yes, we can try."

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Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Julius Barker
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Derrick hadn't expected Julius to take his hand. That was never a part of it. He was the one who touched Julius, he was the one who was constantly hanging on him, holding his hand, trying to get him to react to what he did. It was never the other way around. But still, it wasn't unwelcome. Some boys liked when others bit their lips, Derrick had been through enough by then to learn that his wrists were his weak spot. Feeling the lion tamer run his thumb over it sent a delightful feeling throughout his body, making goosebumps appear on his arms even if it wasn't cold out. He refused to let it show though, not even blushing even as such thoughts ran through his head. It wouldn't be the brightest idea to be getting shy now, any sign of hesitation would probably send his friend running.

He felt almost victorious when he saw the slight smile on his friends face. No matter what happened now, at least he hadn't ruined the others life or anything. As long as he was happy, he supposed he would be okay with anything. Sort of a pathetic, overused line. And he couldn't deny that he would be extremely, unbearably jealous of whoever Julius chose, but he could handle that, right? For a year now he had been handling it. Not exactly in the best way, but he could just try harder. The thought of corrupting Julius was actually pretty amusing. Really, Derrick should be the twenty year old and Julius should be the teen. The lion tamer was so naive, it was so cute. Derrick... wasn't. He wasn't naive, not in any sense of the word. He could swear like a sailor and kiss like a real french-man(french, get it?).

The young boy was blinking back tears when he felt Julius squeeze his hand, only barely able to stop himself from leaning forward and kissing the lion tamer like he had wanted to so many times before. "I promise, I'll do anything you want me to." Taking it slow wouldn't be that difficult, right? It wasn't like he had expected to go from friends to secret sexcapades in between shows or anything(though he might bother Julius a bit more about actually sleeping in his caravan, so he could bother him). "I bet that was the first time you've even kissed a boy, eh?" Derrick smiled, almost teasing him as he allowed himself to move a bit closer, leaning against the taller man. "Hope it was okay for you, I mean, it was alright on this end. You definitely need some practice though," it was almost impossible to believe how easily Derrick had fallen back into his old self. Or at least his old self with Julius. He was almost daring Julius, to kiss him and prove him wrong, that he wasn't a bad kisser. Even if he knew it wasn't going to happen, it was still fun to tease him.

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Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Julius Barker
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Julius wasn't quite sure what the feeling slowly developing inside of him was. Content? No, he wasn't quite content, too emotional for that. Not upset since any tears that threatened to spill wouldn't be of the sad variety. Happy? Happy would work. He supposed he was happy when Derrick agreed, even if it seemed like the boy was promising too much. He wasn't sure if this would last, although he hoped for it desperately. What if Derrick got bored with him, the chase(and it had been a chase, apparently, even if the lion tamer hadn't known it at the time) coming to an end? No, that was just his own paranoia talking, rearing its ugly head over an almost romance so many years ago.

Derrick was teasing him now, scooting closer until they were pressed against one another, their hands still intertwined as if both were unwilling to lose that single point of contact. And there was Derrick again, his Derrick, not the emotional wreck both of them had become this afternoon, poking at him in good fun, trying to stir a reaction.

"Who said you were the first boy I've ever kissed?" He replied with his own little tease, a smile playing across his lips. "I've been in the circus since puberty- we all experimented a little bit." With that rather shocking tidbit (not that anything had happened apart from a little kiss now and then), he let out a bit of a laugh, tossing his head back, body relaxing. He knew his experience with all things romantic was severely limited, but there was a challenge in Derrick's voice that had him leaning over and planting a kiss on the younger boy's lips. Sealing it with a kiss, wasn't he? Just like a fairytale.

It was a gentle kiss, quite unlike the emotional outburst from before, and it was something Julius actually had experience with. It was rather chaste, just a soft press against Derrick's lips that he held for a moment, sweet and full of sincerity. Perfect. It last for a moment, feeling at the same time both too short and achingly long, before Julius retreated, a content expression on his face.

"Was that better?" He asked dryly.

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Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Julius Barker
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If anyone thought that this would be the end to Derrick's habits of acting like an angel around Julius and a demon around everyone else, they were terribly wrong. Just because he had gotten the man, it didn't mean that he wasn't going to lose him. There was multiple factors running against him, really. One being that he was, well, a boy. Even if Julius didn't seem to care- and maybe he really didn't -it still had to be a bit strange for him. Another being the age difference, he was definitely going to have to try to act less like a child. Not that he really even acted immature now, but he would have to be extremely careful now. He was a child, even if he hated admitting it, and he didn't want Julius to think that was a reason they shouldn't be together. Perhaps the worst part was that they were friends. Not because he didn't want to be friends with the lion tamer, because he was afraid that nothing was ever going to progress from that friendship. What made everything even worse was that now he had Julius, and his want for the other boy was almost unbearable, but he still couldn't do anything about it. He had to let Julius move them along at the pace he felt comfortable with.

Julius's confession to experimenting shocked the young boy, jaw dropping slightly. Once recovered, he glanced up at his boyfriend?, cheeks slightly flushed. Putting aside the fact that he himself had messed around with his fair share of boys, it was still nearly impossible for him to see Julius doing something like that.

Apparently the lion tamer had given into his teasing, because in the next moment he found the others lips pressed against his again. It seemed that before it even started, it ended. He wasn't going to complain, just being close to him could make him happy. Still, he had this way of driving him crazy, always leaving him wanting more- even if he hadn't known that before now. Still blushing lightly, his lips turned up in a small smile. "Like I said," he began, a teasing note in his voice as he placed a soft kiss along Julius's jawline. "We'll work on it."

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Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Moshe Fairview Character Portrait: Julius Barker Character Portrait: Synthia, Fiora
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Julius gave a little snort at the reply, ruffling Derrick's hair into a rumbled mess in retribution. It was like a switch had been flipped in their relationship, one that had been terribly out of sorts an hour or so ago. No, that wasn't quite right; their relationship had been the slightest bit strained before that. On Julius' part, the envy had been digging at him for some while now, and now that he had some idea how long Derrick had liked him, he could only imagine how the younger boy had dealt with it. It had only come to a head tonight, but now that feelings had been discussed and things had been decided (for the most part), it was certainly like that switch had flipped, bringing them back to their usual companionable and affectionate relationship. And if things were just the slightest bit more affectionate now, touches less awkward, well, he certainly wasn't going to complain.

The peace and tranquility of the moment was broken suddenly by giggles and splashes coming from the lake. Apparently something was in the air tonight, he thought wryly, between the two in the lake- and he could see Moshe and Synthia now, tumbling about like the teenagers that they most certainly were-, his own relationship upgrade with Derrick, and who knows what else back at the circus. He turned away from the intimate scene playing out in the water, not really wanting to be a spectator of their shenanigans.

"Looks like our little spot's been found out," He said, a laugh hidden in his voice as he stood smoothly to his feet, brushing grass off of the bottom of his trousers. He held out his hand for Derrick to take, a natural motion that he had never given a second thought until maybe now. "Besides, I think you left your clothes in my caravan and I want to change," He explained with a smile, gesturing towards his gaudy golden vest. "Ready to go?"

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Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Moshe Fairview Character Portrait: Julius Barker
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Synthia looked at the shore when she heard something, she didn't really see much in the dark but having the moon helped her see shapes on the bank, she thought the voice sounded like Julius. Wondering why he would be on the bank, she pushed the thought away than wondered if Julius wondered if Julius would show her the lions tomorrow. Derrick was probably the small figure in the grass, truthfully she didn't know who they were though only had suspicions, looking at Moshe who had swum over to her she smiled up at him she didn't really catch that he said she was the only beautiful woman he knew. She pursed her lips a little bit "me?" she wondered what he meant by saying most beautiful feline ever. His whiskers tickling her cheek, she didn't focus much on keeping afloat and basically dunked herself under water. Resurfacing as she looked at him, moving her arms back and forth so she could stay there and not bob under water moving her legs back and forth a bit.

Tilting her head side-ways hoping that he would explain why he said that to her, she couldn't really picture herself as a cat. She wondered what she would look like as a shape-shifter but she couldn't really see it, so she pushed the thought out of her head and splashed him a bit with water. Swimming back a bit, feeling a fish against her leg she jumped a bit with a surprised face "a fish just touched my leg" quickly moving from that spot. Blushing a bit when she realized that she was acting silly because of a fish touching her leg, it just surprised her is all.

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Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Brink Orpheus Character Portrait: Julius Barker Character Portrait: Basil Riddle
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Instead of immediately moving to fix his hair as he usually would, he left it as is, completing the messy look he had managed to attain earlier that day. He thought perhaps that the only thing that could have made this shirt better, was if Julius had actually worn it recently. A bit odd, sure, but he couldn't help but love feeling his friend around him. It didn't matter, right now they were actually together, and he didn't have to worry about it. Really, he shouldn't be worrying about anything. He had just gotten what he'd been chasing after for years now, hadn't he? Then why was he having a problem feeling... happy? The boy sighed without realizing it, and hoped desperately that Julius would ignore it. There was no way that he wanted his friend to think he was regretting this, or anything that could even somewhat make him rethink his decision. This was a good thing, he just had to stop being so... Derrick.

Probably around the same time as Julius, Derrick noticed the two other figures swimming around in the water. A slight scowl found it's way onto his face, but he made a point of fighting it off. Or at least he made a point of fighting it off in his head, would have been strange to do it otherwise. It again reminded him that he was going to have to try extra hard now, to make sure he couldn't lose Julius. Now that he almost had him, they were almostsortoftogether, he was terrified to let him go. At the same time he knew he couldn't be too clingy though, it would techinically void the agreement he and Julius had made. They were taking it at Julius's pace.

"Seems like it," he replied softly, taking Julius's hand and pulling himself up. Unlike other times though, he kept hold of the hand, hesitant. He felt vulnerable, something he swore he would never let himself feel. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he allowed Julius to lead him towards his caravan. Perhaps he would ask him to take him to see the lions later, maybe. Though he might feel more comfortable if Julius was the one asking him to go see them. It was just one of those things- he knew the lions were precious to Julius, he didn't want to interfere on that. Maybe he and Julius could just lie on his bed and cuddle. Would that be moving too fast?



Spade stared wide-eyed as the man fell, unable to do anything but. He must have looked extremely alarmed, no matter how hard he fought to remain emotionless, he just couldn't help the images that flashed behind his eyes. Again, he wasn't quite so sure was it was about this man that was able to make him so worried, so tongue-tied. It was making him feel thing he hadn't ever before, like the desire to touch and be touched, to be near him. Though he could keep telling himself that he was just teaching the man a lesson, to not worry so much and just believe Spade when he said he couldn't feel things. Because he couldn't. He refused to, simple as that really. So that was the only explanation. At least it was the only one that he allowed himself to believe, even think of. The possiblity that he could actually be delevoping real feelings wasn't very appealing.

The white haired man wasn't very far off the ground, making it an easy decision for him to jump and hit the ground rather than the net. He didn't want to jostle Brink too much. Hitting the ground, he dropped into a crouch, letting his hand take a lot of the weight so he could make sure neither legs were injured. They really got in the way, since it often made it difficult to move around with a broken leg. Though he felt something in his hand snap, probably a few fingers- which he ignored. Standing back up straight, he made his way to the net and reached forward, wrapping his arms around the ring master and holding him in his arms bridal style. "Come here," he said, almost softly as he pulled the man against his chest, moving him over to sit instead on an unopened crate. Spying a first aid kit, he retrieved it and set out to work on cleaning Brink's face up, all the while talking softly to him and trying to distract him from it.

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Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Julius Barker
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Julius' only physical reaction to Derrick keeping hold of his hand was to twist his grip somewhat, interlacing their fingers, enclosing the smaller boy's hand in his own. It was strange that he hadn't noticed it before, how much smaller Derrick was compared to him. The younger boy seemed thin and, well, tiny, especially next to Julius. Not that he particularly minded, it made Derrick seem even more adorable in his eyes, but, holding his smaller hand in his own and walking beside him, it seemed all the more apparent.

What was even more apparent was the hesitation playing out on Derrick's face and his previous sigh which definitely hadn't been of contentment. It wasn't how Derrick usually was- so cocksure and vibrant, unrepentantly snarky to those he disliked and gently teasing with those that he did. No, the snake charmer seemed almost down, unsure of himself. Julius would be lying if he said that it didn't worry him, picking at the insecurities already encompassing their relationship. Shouldn't he be happy or at least a little less, well, mopey? Was this really what Derrick wanted? Was he rethinking his decision? Had Julius already done something wrong? The nagging doubts and suspicions fluttered through his mind, picking at already deep-seeded self-doubt. But he didn't let the inner turmoil cover his face, instead keeping on a mild mask, just tightening his grip on Derrick's hand slightly.

Luckily, his caravan was rather far from browsing circus attendees, but the bright lights and chatter from where the circus was being held travelled through the otherwise quiet night, adding to a chorus of chirping bugs and the gentle whisper of the wind ruffling the trees' leaves. The door was unlocked, as always(privacy, in Julius' experience, was one of the first things to go after joining the circus), and Julius gently tugged Derrick inside before shutting the door behind him. Maybe it was his self-made paranoia or the reality of their new relationship, but the space seemed smaller now, like he had less room than before. Julius couldn't decide if that was a good or a bad thing.

"So," He said finally, gently slipping his hand from Derrick's and beginning to look through his drawers for something suitable to change into. Should he go with actual sleep clothes since his day was over, or change back into his previous outfit...? "Do you want to talk about something?" Before Derrick could reply, he forged onwards because relationships, or so he'd been told, shouldn't start off like this one had.

"You seem a little down," He continued, biting his lip for a moment, "And I... This is our relationship, right, even if it is really new? I want you to be able to talk to me, like before. I want to hear what you want or need. I need you to, since it's been established that I've no idea what's going on. So, could you tell me?" He finally stopped his search, turning to face Derrick again, an earnest look on his face.

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Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Brink Orpheus Character Portrait: Julius Barker Character Portrait: Basil Riddle
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Before now, Derrick was able to hold Julius's hand without a worry in the world. But now he was worried that perhaps his grip was too tight, or his hands were sweaty. Before now, he could hang onto his friend and tease and joke about anything. But now he was worried about messing up, or moving too fast. He was worried he could make things awkward, or make Julius regret his decision to give him a chance. This was what this was, after all- a chance. Nothing more, nothing less. If he screwed this up, it was over.

He was glad when Julius wrapped his hand around his own, seeing it as a sign that perhaps he had done the right thing but not letting him go. If it was his choice he'd probably always be around the lion tamer, and touching just made it all the better. Not in like a weird, creepy way. Just he liked feeling close to him, and holding hands like this had him feeling the closest he could. Maybe that was weird and creepy, but he wasn't going to say it out loud or anything. He still did have his pride after all, couldn't be spilling his whole heart and all his thoughts out to his new... friend. The small boy moved slightly closer, lightly bumping his hip against Julius's once with a smile as they continued to walk. Sounds of the circus floated through the air, making him think about how he had skipped out on his show tonight. Would Brink be mad? Would he even find out?

Before he had a chance to actually step up into the caravan himself, Julius was tugging him inside and shutting the door behind them. This caused him to blush and look away as he chewed gently on his lower lip, going to take a seat on Julius's bed while the older boy seemed to occupy himself with looking for clothes. "You could just put on whatever you sleep in," did Julius even sleep in clothes? "I mean, we could just stay here." If you're okay with that. Being in Julius's room usually had no effect on him, but now it was different. Now they were in a relationship sort of thing and he felt... pressured or something along those lines. Actually, he felt really silly too. He shouldn't really be worrying about it, it was just like before. Well, with the added benefit of being able to kiss Julius whenever he wanted.

Derrick glanced up at the others question, and then quickly looked back to his hands as he tried to think of something. This was awkward, too awkward. He should have just kept his mouth shut and never said anything, he shouldn't have gone after Julius... Hell, he should have never even asked Brink to help him with his show. This was all his fault, that was obvious to both of them by now, it had to be.

And then Julius amazed him by actually asking him something, instead of waiting for Derrick to probably say something completely random and daft for them to start laughing about. When he heard him call it a relationship, his heart soared, but he tried not to let it show. This was a relationship, even when they were friends it was technically a relationship. Still though, hearing Julius say it just made it so real. "I-I," for once, he words were lost. It took him a few moments to collect himself, a few deep breaths and he was still unable to look his friend in the eye. "It's just a lot... Of course I'm happy, I'm thrilled actually. But I find myself so worried that I'll mess up or go to fast or do something wrong, that I'm maybe too worried to be able to be happy about it." He knew that even he had tried to keep his voice calm, that it had shaken throughout that. "I just don't want to lose you, not now and not ever."



Spade shook his head, finally finished with cleaning up the wound. After placing the first aid kit back where it belonged, he quickly returned to Brink and held out his hand, and offer to help the other stand back up. "You don't have to be sorry," he finally said, acknowledging that he had heard the previous apology. "Just be more careful. Next time you need something like this done, tell me." Of course he knew Brink wouldn't be happy with that, seeing as he had told him himself that he didn't like Spade taking risks. It reminded him of earlier, the kiss and Brink's sudden telling Spade that he was his. It was... Spade was still waiting for him to act on it, wondering it he ever would. "We can't replace our ring master."

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Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Julius Barker
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Julius leaned back against his chest of drawers as Derrick spoke, hands pressed against the solid wood. The younger boy had his undivided attention now, brought on partially due to his uncharacteristic hesitation, but with the little stammer, it was on him fully. In the moments it took Derrick to search out the words he needed, Julius gave him a quick once over, seated on Julius' bed as he was. He looked his own age for once, not masked by his haughty attitude or extravagant Victorian clothing. It was strange, really, seeing him like this. From the moment they'd met, Julius hadn't been able to see him as just a teenager. He'd come in like a whirlwind, tossing the circus upside down, and even now he still had that energy, just slightly subdued.

He hadn't been sure if he'd liked Derrick back then, at the time even a friendship with the snake charmer had seemed bizarre. The younger boy had insults practically dripping from his mouth, a cruel glare a constant fixture in his expression. But, even with all of that, he'd still been a lost boy which reminded Julius terribly of himself when he'd first joined the circus. So, he'd doggedly pursued a friendship, battling outrage and sneers for what seemed like forever, until he almost wanted to give up. That was until the day everything blew up. He'd found Derrick in a fight with one of the other circus workers, almost coming to blows, and had stepped in. Rather than smooth things over, it seemed to send the younger boy into an even bigger rage and he'd stormed off. It would have been so easy to leave him alone, to avoid someone who didn't even want his company, who'd sworn that he'd hated everyone here almost from day one. But Julius had never gone for the easy road. The lion tamer had followed him and it seemed like a mistake a first before Derrick had finally crumbled into tears. Right now, that's what Julius was reminded of. That frustrated vulnerability.

Setting down his clothes- his pajamas, as it turned out since, contrary to popular belief, he actually liked being clothed- he made his way over to the bed and plopped down alongside Derrick, causing the boy to bounce somewhat. The only point of contact was their sides pressed together and Julius didn't make any moves to separate himself.

"I'm worried too, you know," He admitted easily, glancing at Derrick out of the corner of his eyes. "I'm worried that I might do something stupid because I have no idea what I'm doing or that you'll get impatient with me. It doesn't mean that that's going to happen, mind, but I still worry about it." He stretched his hand out, taking one of Derrick's in his, thumb idly rubbing over his pulse again.

"I can't say what's going to happen in the future- There's reason I'm a lion tamer and not a fortune teller, after all," he let out a little laugh before growing more serious. "But I can tell you that I'm not going to run away if you make a mistake, the same way you won't give up if I make a mistake. We'll talk about it or compromise or something because I'm just as dedicated to making this work as you are. I really like you and I want you to be happy too, okay?" With that, he leaned over and planted a kiss on the top of Derrick's head.

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Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Brink Orpheus Character Portrait: Julius Barker Character Portrait: Basil Riddle
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Derrick was unable to contain the shiver that passed through him when Julius took his hand, or the sigh of relief that left him when he admitted that he, too, was nervous. He was immediately grateful for his friends closeness, with Julius next to him he felt less nervous. The jump in his heartbeat when Julius said he liked him, really liked him, was accompied by the slight hitch in his breathing. It was all so... weird? For so long he had been after Julius, always wishing to be more than friends. And now they were, it was terrifying and exciting at the same time- and he hadn't felt like that in a long time. He honestly wouldn't trade his friendship with Julius for anything in the world, he would give up everything for him.

The press of the lion tamers lips on his forehead seemed to calm his nerves, and he felt a smile tug at the corners of his own lips. "I am happy." He assured him, voice calmer now, but different from ever before. This was him. He wasn't a rude brat that only wanted to insult and talk down to people. He wasn't a complete flirt that was only interested in touches, kisses. He was just a little kid in a adults world, trying to get along without getting left behind. Because he had to act like an arrogant asshole in front of the others, to show them that he wasn't about to get stepped all over. And he had to act like an adult with Julius, or at least older than his age, so he wouldn't think of him as just a little kid.

He had pulled himself closer to Julius without even noticed. Nuzzling his face against his friends neck, he breathed in deeply, welcoming the familiar scent of Julius as his warm breath hit his skin when he exhaled. "Let me be Derrick just for you, okay?" He mumbled against his neck, as he was unsure if Julius would even notice the difference in him. As far as he knew, no one knew this Derrick. No one knew him. If they knew him, they knew how to get to him. Insults could be returned, others could talk down to him.



Spade just shook his head again, not bothering to go into the multiple reasons as to why Nixie wouldn't be the same as he was. Brink was special, he was always their ring master, it would be wrong without him. No matter, he didn't really want to have to replace him as a person either. It didn't sit well with him that Brink seemed to be trying to ignore the obvious pain he must be feeling, and the white haired man stepped forward to gently place his hand on Brink's shoulder. "Don't," he said, voice low. "Just take a break. We can take care of this tomorrow morning, when you're telling me what it is I have to do and you stay safely on the ground."

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Character Portrait: Derrick Cartner Character Portrait: Julius Barker
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In response to Derrick moving himself closer, Julius wrapped his arms around the younger boy, pulling him close to his chest. It was a familiar gesture, not between the two of them, but of comforting sensations in the past. It had been the way he had been held by his grandfather as a child, the way he'd held his own brother on the rare chances he'd been allowed to as a child, of holding his precious lions when they were ill or he needed the comfort of their warm bodies. It was like a confirmation of an emotional connection, a quiet but sincere expression of love, whether it be friendly or romantic.

Julius couldn't truly discern between the two loves at the moment with Derrick nuzzling into his neck, warm breath tickling his skin with each exhale- he wasn't sure if would be able to make the distinction for quite some time. Was that fair to Derrick? Maybe not but Julius was well aware bringing up that objection now would be completely idiotic. It was a matter to be tended to when the time came, but for now he was content with threading his fingers through the snake tamer's hair, smoothing it down to its original neatness before... before everything had changed.

"Let me be Derrick just for you, okay?" Julius made a humming noise, his hand never pausing. It seemed like Derrick had shed some of the layers that he tended to hide behind, his biting sarcasm, his overly confident flirtations, leaving a fifteen-year-old boy who was desperate to not mess up a relationship with a twenty-year-old man. The thought made his stomach churn a bit. Was this what Lydia had felt like all those years ago? No, it couldn't be- she'd not returned the feelings. Or maybe she had and had simply made the opposite decision. Had he made the wrong decision or had she?

"I wouldn't want you to be anyone else," He instead offered quietly. So he just held him for a while, humming some forgotten song under his breath as he relaxed with the younger man in his arms and desperately hiding thoughts of wrong and right knowing that once he started down that road there would be no stopping.

"So," He said, finally breaking the silence. "I was thinking that maybe we could go visit the lions? Or we could stay here if you'd like." His voice was casual, not pressuring either way. Derrick would have to take the lead here as he would for quite some time. It would be easiest for Julius whose hesitation might bring this relationship to a crippling halt if he allowed it.