Underwater World

The King tipped his crown, "Good day to you Sir Blob Fish the 8th. We were looking for our honeymoon. Do you have any idea where that would be located?"

---

"Ah, I fear that you're mistaken!" the fish began, suddenly deserving of a text color. "My name is Mr. Fish! If Sir Blob Fish the 8th was the one who organized your honeymoon...well, let's just say he's rather cheap. Allow me to lead you to a much finer honeymoon location, free of charge!" Mr. Fish offered.

Mr. Fish? The Mr. Fish?

wtf is going on here

"What a polite little fishie~!" Mariol beamed, mental age as young as ever.

BUT HE'S A STRANGER YOU GUYS

NEVER GET INTO A STRANGERS CAR, THERE AREN'T ANY FUCKING PUPPIES IN THERE

"A finer honeymoon than Sir Blob Fish the 8th?" The King looked at Mariol, and nodded, "We will follow your every direction. Inside and out."

---

"Pants off. Now."

I WARNED YOU ABOUT STRANGERS BRO, I TOLD YOU DOG

"Excellent! Just follow me~!"

Mr. Fish started floating off, heading in the direction of...well, there was something in the distance. It was hard to see from here; all that was visible in the distance was a mass of colorful lights. Mariol naturally didn't mind not knowing where she was going, so she happily followed along.

As they continued on the curious path - if you ignored the water and fish, it almost seemed like they were taking a walk through the park - several blobby neon fish stopped to smile and wave. After a while of silence, Mariol turned around, walking backwards so she could face her beloved husband.

"What do people do on a honeymoon, anyways?" she asked, head tilted cutely.

"THINGS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR THIS WEBSITE, MY DEAR"

The King happily followed along... or swam... or what ever they were doing to get places in this blobby wet world or blobbiness.

"Excellent question! On my last honeymoon I was in a court custody battle for a totally of 42 days. We were fighting human genetics and it's right to hold onto my ex-dear's ability to grow. She was very very very very short. In the end, we lost, and chopped human genetics' head off in the back ally! Ho! After that, no one in the world of Wonderland could grow taller than the Queen. If they were to, they would have their legs or head's chopped off to fit the size!"


....

"But we can create our own moon rock garden, and water it with honey. I hear that's all the rage with normal couples these days."

---

Mariol listened intently, not bothered by the King's original honeymoon. Probably because she had no idea what half of those words meant, not to mention that her mind is eternally full of sunshine...

"Yaaaaaaay! I love rocks and the moon and honey! This'll be so fun~! ♥" she beamed. Oh, Mariol.

"Well, here we are!"

Mr. Fish stopped in front of a pair of automatic glass sliding doors (those things are p awesome amirite) that led into...well, this whole place looked like the most ridiculously fancy hotel in the world. It wasn't like Castle Oress or Ritzy Apartment Building...it really was a hotel, but a million times more pimpin'. It looked like a whole magical world in there - there were actually bodies of water (wait, aren't they already underwater...?), random structures made of candy, comfy furniture scattered randomly, a slowly changing sky, snow coexisting in warmth...it was pretty trippy, but it looked like the damn coolest hotel ever.

"Your honeymoon awaits! Oh, and everything in the gift shop is free of charge!"

The King was stunned by the whole thing, well actually by the mention of free. "There is no way you guys could make a profit off of that!" Suddenly the King was more than suspicious that this was some sort of hotel designated to kill you, or trap you forever.

... probably because every hotel he'd experienced was designed to do that.

"Lets check the gift shop for moon rocks, honey and a garden!"

---

AND THEN THEY ALL DIED

"Silly guest, we have no need for profit! In worlds such as this, currencies are useless and entirely unnecessary! It takes away from the wonders of things, you see." Mr. Fish explained. Mariol obviously didn't care about this cash-y conversation, and was already halfway to the gift shop.

And so, the couple walked, hand in hand to the mysterious land in which was titled 'The Gift Shop with Free Stuff', in search of honey, moon rocks and a portable garden.

---

Not only were there honey, moon rocks, and portable honey, there was...

...Well, what wasn't there?

Food, clothing, jewelry, toys, souvenirs, tools, art supplies, books, electronics, games, pets and anything else one could ever think of lined shelves and towered up to the ceiling. Naturally, Mariol's face was frozen in the most ridiculously happy-derpy expression imaginable.

"Here we are! As mentioned previously, purchase to your heart's content! Of course, everything is free, so perhaps 'purchase' isn't the right word..." Mr. Fish said, swimming through the air...uh, water. Water-air. Air-water. Shut the fuck up this is Lila, MANBEARS AND POKEMON.

Expectedly, there was a FLO at the front desk, and the store was empty besides that...

...Well, there was a MYSTERIOUS STRANGER ambling around, and mysterious they were! They were dressed so heavily that it was impossible to tell anything about their appearance, including stature and gender. They were quite unlike our other heavily-dressed Lila-goer - Lun - in that they didn't dress darkly...their outfit was a chaotic mess of all kinds of colors and patterns. Total trainwreck, man.

Either way, they didn't seem to be bothering anyone, so you know.

The King had no interest in the magical mysterious people of rainbow death and secrets. What caught his interest was the beautiful glory which was held in this mountainous pile of free stuff.

Hippos. Spidderidinks. Spoozles, the King couldn't contain himself. His Disney side suddenly forced him to prance around in song!

"Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Look at this trove, treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?

It's got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty
It's got who's-its and what's-its galore
You want thing-a-mabobs?
There is twenty
But who cares? No big deal. I want more" Instantly completely uninterested by the end of his musical number, he gathered around the rocks, honey and gardens.

---

All of the blobby neon fish - as well as FLO and the stranger - clapped at the King's fantastic performance, natch. Inspired by her Disney-licious husband, Mariol began singing a song of her own...but it was mostly just incoherent babbling with a melody. That shouldn't be very surprising, though.

In other news, the honey honeyed (according to spellcheck, that's a real word; spellcheck is not), the gardens gardened, and the rocks rocked.

And that was pretty much it.

Sure is eventful up in here.

The King clapped along to Mariol's solo, apparently understanding every word of it, as if it where his native dialect.

At this point, he noticed the stranger. He walked over to the unfamiliar figure, and with a sly smirk he whispered, "You uh, you checkin' out my girl there? In my country, threesomes are an option." WHAT THE KING SAID SOMETHING SEXUAL. APOCALYPSE.

---

It probably is his native dialect.

Anyway, the stranger just stood there silently, as if considering the King's offer. Or as if they were completely horrified. Same difference, right? After a few seconds, some sort of screen appeared in front of the apparently-mute stranger.

Code: Select all

I APPRECIATE THE OFFER, BUT I MUST DECLINE. SUCH THOUGHTS LIKE THOSE, AT LEAST IN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES, DISCONCERT ME. MY APOLOGIES FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.

Golly, someone sure likes caps!

BUT, SERIOUSLY, WHO DOESN'T?

The King sighed, as if he had been in the position before, "Ah... a robopheliac. I know what it's like. Everyone in my college days was trying out chicken wings and bowling balls, but I was still in my reboot phase. It was an awkward time for me..." Looking off into the distance, the king seemed to shed a single majestic tear of manliness.

"Anyways! Time for formalities! Don't be nervous, or I'll have you executed! Where are you from and why are you here on the date of my wife and I's wedding?"

The question came through with a high pitched british accent. How curious.