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Once upon a time, there was a very 'boss' king by the name of Ulric, known for being a high level merlinite wizard and warrior, armed with a magic sword, and even in royalty, walking dirt roads as if he was a normal man, slaying beasts and kicking humanoid asses himself, his two-handed blade being wielded as if it were a mere knife, as he conquered numerous other chunks of land after beginning with a mere half acre of land, a mere micronation he called the 'Northern Kingdom,' back when the continent was merely the 'One Kingdom,' using his 'douchebaggery' to rally friends and family into dividing the land into a new system of numerous governments and wars done purely for entertainment, most deaths being falsified, and broadcasted among other things on Tele-Mirrors, all throughout the North, South, East, and Western Kingdoms.

Later they'd gain the world wide spider web, via crystal ball computers by Magesoft, and the people of the Empire of Ramona offering Pro-Gladiator Combat Matches on Pence Per View, dojo's that teach the magical arts like a karate school, and that sort of thing.

Of course, we don't give much of a shit about that background crap. Now, Ulric would later meet a fine young lass, AKA the queen of gypsies. He would go on to bed this woman, and together, they'd rule the kingdom, hoping their next child would take up the throne. And it seemed that way since they had a beautiful, popular daughter. Unfortunately, in her 'middle school' years, she was kidnapped by some dastardly villain, and held hostage in a castle for over three months.

Some time later, when this vile barbarian sorcerer guy named Cleenexe had been defeated, King Ulric and his men came to save his daughter. Oddly enough, it turned out she was actually fine on her own, having redesigned Cleenexe's castle, and outfitted it with the things a geek/otaku/gamer/so on would be into, even befriending the asian dragon that had been hired to guard her and having spent her time playing video games, watching anime, pro-gladiator matches, and most of all, becoming a perverted, socially awkward 'freak' who, despite great lust, was too shy to even talk to a man outside of her family. Although she has no actual problems with anything anymore, her father demands she find Cleenexe and kill him in revenge, despite the princess preferring that she'd much rather just dick around on the inter webs.

Of course, she'll need some socially capable, strong friends to help her on the journey...



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