Description
Name: Saein Vernig (âsa-ine verneekâ)
Age: 32 years
Gender: Female
Species: Firni (âfeerneeâ)
Height: 5'7"
Weight: âYou did not just ask that!â
Rank: Mechanic
Image by ThomasR95
Refer to text description if you want to be absolutely sure about colors.
Saein has curly
reddish purple hair that doesn't reach her shoulders, and dark blue eyes. She has freckles all over her white skin, that seem to change and blink with her thoughts. Firni can sense these spots when touching each other, which makes touching other species feel very weird. Saein is not exactly skinny, but in too good shape to be called fat.
All her clothes have many pockets, even the two dresses. Most of her clothes are dark blue, matching her eyes. When working, she usually wears pants and a sweater. She sometimes wears a
faded orange jacket with the nametag "MECHANIC Saein V", and the RMEE logo on the back.
She has a remarkable tolerance for alcohol.
Her species is able to distinguish scents about as well as dogs are. Unlike dogs, that makes them a bit picky about food. They are humanoids that before they developed modern technology filled (oddly enough) a pollinator/predator niche combination in the ecosystem of one of the continents of their home planet Wen. Firni may look pretty harmless at first sight, but they have been at the top of the food chain since before they had any technology...
There are some hidden differences between Firni and humans.
The most obvious are in their mouths: a long thin and hollow extra tongue, and venom fangs that fold away when theyâre not needed (which is pretty much always now they donât kill their food that way anymore for hundreds of years already). Evolution has shrunk those fangs a bit.
Less obvious (and unknown to Saein at the beginning of this story) is that their reproductive systems are different. Basically they are like marsupials: what under clothes looks like a human chest is actually a pair of pouches, and they have a much tinier interpretation of the word âbigâ. The reason most Firni have no idea of this of course is that they wouldnât touch other species, getting even closer is out of the question. Saein is a bit weird and perhaps naive, taking anti-racism so seriously she wants to learn to treat similar looking species the same in ALL aspects of life.
Personality
Saein is someone you can rely on, but if you're going to tell her a secret, you'd better do that in a soundproof room, because she's often quite loud. Recently she has been paying attention to behaving correctly (which includes being less loud and thinking more before she speaks), this is caused by her increased self-consciousness around members of other species.
Socially, she is warm, usually confident, and often rash.
Professionally, she's professional enough, and expects others to be the same. She still follows the three rules she was taught at RMEE:
- Fix even the smallest problems ASAP.
- Don't do anything that could interfere with anyones work.
- Take good care of your crewmates.
She doesn't seem to care much for money or appearances, but couldn't live in a place without a mirror.
She doesnât feel about weight the way humans do, and would even like to gain more, but be careful when talking about it anyway, because she will be offended when she thinks you said she is too heavy to do her job. Itâs not a body image but a professional pride thing.
Equipment
Tools, tools, and more tools. Many more than she needs. She's a collector. Most of her tools may be useful but not necessary on a spaceship, but those she is most proud of are for things like opening a rare species of nut from an obscure planet.
She owns a small multifunctional ion gun that is easily hidden in one of her pockets. Functions are selected by turning a ring (concentric with the barrel), there is a small fingerprint reader on the side that needs to be touched by the owner to get the ring out of the âoffâ position. The gun is a few years older than her, but as precise and powerful as anything similar you could buy in places known to humans. It was a gift from a guy when she was 20. Others gave her a lot of less useful things to compete with him, but she didnât keep any of that.
She also owns a datapad (which includes wireless communication, a camera, her medical files, the RMEE handbook, an encyclopedia, etc etc), and a small black cylindrical device used to inhale a relaxant equivalent to tea.
History
Saein was born on the continent Wen on her home planet Wen, which is located in the solar system called Wen. âWenâ means âhomeâ.
After two years of mandatory military service* in which she became a mechanic, she found a job with RMEE (Rare Materials Exploration & Exploitation, often called "Roaming Miners Exploding & Expiring" by employees) at age 20. Staying with the same company, she worked on a number of different types of ships on missions with increasing odds of serious damage to the ships. RMEE is known for its informal culture, high pay and high risks. During her time at this company she has suffered burns, broken bones and radiation poisoning, all of that has healed and her life has not been shortened by it. Saein has saved a lot of money in her ten years at RMEE, but it's not enough to retire just yet.
At 30, she found a safer job on a large state-owned ship, but it turned out to be boring, and the guy directly above her in the chain of command was a jerk.
She quit and somehow managed to walk straight into the one hotel where someone was in need of a mechanic. This is her first mission with a mixed species crew.
*) The government of Wen has not signed any significant treaties beyond the typical "let's all not attack each other". There haven't been any wars for a long time, but the weirdness caused by touching members of other species had made diplomacy difficult because it led many Firni to be slightly racist. In the last ~30 years there have been more enthusiastic attempts at diplomacy than before, but it still hasn't gone very far. Most Firni under the age of 50 hate racism.
So begins...
Bond
Disoriented when they arrived back on the ship, Bond jumped a little at Tom's request. His eyes scanned the robot-like humanoid thing...thing...he ...he couldn't think straight, but gave a nod. He thought he remembered where they were and without a word, started down the hallway.
His thumb grazed his pocket. Somehow the screwdriver had returned there.
"Here...we are," he sighed, seeing the beds and nearly collapsing with happiness. "Kinda far from everything...but...looks comfy."
Laying back on the bottom bunk of the closest beds, he smiled a little. "Oh yeah. Comfy."
Minn
Busying herself with the food, Minn was happy more crew members had arrived to eat this time, even if they were a little rude. Well, the girl was. "I'm the cook," she answered her and then turned to Ann and Eddie. The chess set was beautiful and Minn glanced sideways at Saein with a smile. Eddie definitely liked it.
"Furnak?" she inquired, tilting her head at Ann's question. "There should be plenty if he gets in here now," she giggled, hoping that a furnak wasn't too large for the kitchen. She couldn't quite put her finger on what they looked like from memory.
Facing Rokunam, she handed him a plate and bowl with yet another smile. She was just happy she was working with food. "You can help yourself," she assured. "But I like serving too. Have a seat!"
With everyone seated and with food, she sighed and leaned against the counter. "It's mostly done," she replied to Saein's request to help her clean up. "Just what has food in it."
Eye lids drooping a little, she focused on Eddie, examining the pieces of his present happily. Part of her felt bad, but didn't know what to make him for his birthday either. Her cheeks grew hot at the memory of strawberries and she had to shake her head and face Ann again to concentrate fully. "What's your furnak's name?"
Minn told Ann âThere should be plenty if he gets in here nowâ, so apparently animals were allowed in the kitchen. Ann whistled.
âGeez, heâs not THAT far awayâ Saein complained, rubbing her ear.
After some scratching noises, the door opened and Ip walked in. The animal was about the size of a great dane, so it did fit inside the kitchen. Its legs seemed a bit too long, and its shape was similar to that of a hyena (though that would have been an even less familiar animal to anyone who was there). It had thick soft wine red fur with white stripes, and a black bald stripe around its neck. With its round ears and its sharp teeth neatly folded back, it was a friendly looking animal, though not exactly pretty.
Saein, having finished the little bit she was going to eat, refilled her plate with stew and placed it on the floor. Ip looked up at her in confusion. âYes, thatâs for you, arenât you lucky?â Saein touched him on the neck to confirm that he was allowed to eat this nice food. Ip emptied the plate in less than a minute, after which he spent a lot of time cleaning his face with his front paws.
Saein picked up the empty plate. âLooks clean, but I guess Iâll wash it anywayâ she laughed. She was glad there wouldnât be much cleaning to do, Minn looked like she needed sleep as much as she did.
âHis name is Ipâ Ann replied when asked. The question seemed to have come out of the blue, maybe Minn was trying to distract herself from something, or just trying to stay awake. âIt means star. He wasnât always a helper animal, he was born to one of our pets when I was five.â
âYou were always carrying him around when he still fit on your handâ Saein reminisced. âIt was cute.â
âI donât really remember. That canât have lasted for a very long timeâ Ann furrowed her brow and her freckles moved in circles. âDo you remember if it was Son or Lav who was the mom?â
âDefinitely not Lav, sheâs the pink one. And Son was already too old. I think it was Onni... or Hae.â Saein wasnât sure either.
âOnni is a boy! And Hae is only three years older than Ip. Maybe you mean Hatti?â
âAh yes, it definitely was Hattiâ Saein nodded.
Ann asked âDid you have any pets, Minn?â
Saein cringed. She was pretty sure Minnâs youth hadnât been filled with fun and pets like theirs.
Minn
Twiddling her thumbs together, she gave a polite smile and a shake of the head. "No...no pets." Explaining further didn't seem possible at the moment. She stepped back to the food, rearranging some of the pastries as she smiled over to Ip. He was a scoundrel of a thing, an obvious sweetheart.
Smiling tiredly to everyone else, she leaned back on the counter and asked, "Does...anyone mind if I slip out?" She pushed some pink hair behind her pink ear. "I need to...lie down."
She was tired, very much so, but also needed to be alone with her thoughts. Chasing down memories that ignored her reaching hands was difficult, but she didn't hang on to one thing, a very disturbing thing. Somehow she knew where they were. And somehow...that mattered.
Part of her knew she had to tell Bond, but why didn't make itself plain. Besides, he must already know what planet they were on. Why did she need to tell him? What did it matter to an engineer like him?
Minn held her head, feeling a little woozy. She started for the door, hoping no one objected.
Tom entered the barracks, thanked Bond, and plopped down on the nearest unoccupied bed. He let out a great whoosh of breath as he landed and just lay there spread-eagled as he deflated. He was exhausted.
He stared up at the ceiling for a bit, finding patterns in it and imagining pictures made out of the various scratches and smudges.
Time passed, but after a while, he woke from his daydreaming and dragged himself from the bed. A more prominent need was making itself known: hunger.
He stood and made his way back to the hangar, following the route Bond had showed him in reverse. From there, he found his way to the kitchen and found Saein, Ann, Ip, Minn, Eddie, Rokunam and Maria sat at various tables. He made his way over to Rokunam's table, giving those sitting with Saein and Ann a wave of greeting, just to make sure they didn't think he was avoiding him on purpose. He grabbed himself a pastry on the way, using his other hand upturned in front of him as a plate.
He sat at the table across from Rokunam, his metal rear end providing just about as much comfort as Rokunam's bony bum. The poor Exburnan looked incredibly uncomfortable.
"Hiya," Tom said in greeting. He thought for a second, analysing Rokunam's posture. "I don't know if this will be helpful for you or not, but you might find it easier on your neck if you were to lift your bowl up."
Then, realising he had only two fingers per hand, "Or, er, maybe I could find you something to put the bowl on to raise it up a little?"
Ip looked back at the pink alien that smiled at him. She was the provider of food, and the food was very nice, so he would like to get more attention from her. On the other paw, being touched by aliens was unpleasant. He wasnât sure what to do.
Meanwhile, Maria energetically introduced herself in a somewhat bragging way.
âIâm Saein, Iâm the mechanic, nice to meet youâ Saein replied with a smile. She liked genkshi, they were entertaining, but right now she was a bit too tired to want much attention from one.
âAnnarein, Iâm an interpreter and intelligence specialistâ Ann concisely introduced herself. âThe way you refer to yourself... If you donât mind me asking... Are you a C?â
Saein waved back at Tom, whereas Ann wasnât aware who had entered. And Ip never waved at anyone.
"Does...anyone mind if I slip out?" Minn asked. "I need to...lie down."
âDonât worry, Iâll make sure those few plates get... cleanedâ Saein was interrupted mid sentence by a yawn. âYou go lie down.â
Ann shook her head. âSaein.â
âYes?â
âEven I can use a dishwasher.â
âUh-huh.â Saein didnât get the hint.
âAnd youâre really tired.â
âItâs just a few plates.â Saein shrugged.
Giving up subtlety, Ann asked âLaj dersmar leingan?â
âOh. Hm.â Ann had a point, Saein was passing up an opportunity to be alone with Minn, which was extra silly because she was curious and worried about the new refound memories the girl might have. âYouâre right, I really should get some sleep. You donât stay up late either, you never know when your next chance to sleep will be on this job. Besides, itâs no fun to watch everyone eat.â
âCould you please put my stuff outside your room?â Ann suggested.
âSure, sure. Good night, allâ Saein put Ipâs plate in the dishwasher, waved at everyone at once, and left the kitchen.
Ann put her datapad next to her plate and let the fingers of her left hand slide over the first page of the first book. It was titled Speculations on the History of Earth. She wasnât sure how much good content there might be in a book with such a title. Her right hand continued moving the very good contents of her plate into her mouth. Ann couldnât think of a subject to talk about with Eddie. Maybe after she read a bit about this game he liked, chess it was called, she would know what to say to him.
Minn
Saein decided to get some sleep too and Minn was glad to have the company. Back in the room, she made sure the door was closed, remembering Bond's intrusion from earlier, and glanced at the shower longingly. She was clean enough she knew, but liked the feeling of the actually warm water on her skin. She was too tired to stand though and decided sleep was the best option. She could shower in her dreams.
Glancing to Saein, she smiled sleepily. "How was it down on the actual planet?" she remarked. "I feel like I missed out on something."
Starting toward the bed, she started to undress, thoughts going three ways at once as her arms pulled her shirt off up over her head, pink hair falling down to her bare back in a wave. She felt cold and slipped under the covers before removing her pants. She shivered, and wondered if she should have kept the sweater on.
Her green eyes found Saein, something to watch, a good something, and she smiled again. She clearly wasn't thinking about the bedroom though, a million worries hidden behind the grin. She was scared, yes, the memories revealing too much and too little at the same time. Realizing she had the perfect opportunity though, she sat up suddenly, fingers twisting together as she said, "The...memories...I don't know what they mean, but I know they're real. I can't help thinking...that someone did something to me. Maybe I hid it away. Like a traumatic event. And I can't remember because...because its so horrible..." She realized, she had lowered her gaze to her pink nails. Lifting her chin, she added quickly, "What if something bad did happen?"
"How was it down on the actual planet?" Minn asked. "I feel like I missed out on something."
âIâ waâ âreây âoriâgâ Saein replied, a toothbrush in her mouth. Firni needed more time to brush their teeth, with those complex mouths they had. Saein was glad her mouth didnât freak Minn out, some more sensitive aliens would throw up the first time they noticed firni didnât look much like them on the inside. âIt was pretty boring,â she started again, âlots of rocks. But it was nice to get some fresh air and some time to make Eddie a present. I sâpose itâs as okay as any place if you want to go shopping for food, or clothes, or something.â
Indeed, Minn seemed to enjoy watching Saein get ready for bed. Saein smiled back at her, she also found it relaxing to watch a friend. She especially liked to watch Minn cook. And there was this feeling of being reminded of trusting the person she was with, when her clothes werenât protecting her. Without hiding anything, but also without making a show out of it, she undressed and folded her clothes. The room was cold, it was always cold in space, it felt extra cold because she was tired.
Minn decided to talk about her returning memories. "The...memories...I don't know what they mean, but I know they're real. I can't help thinking...that someone did something to me. Maybe I hid it away. Like a traumatic event. And I can't remember because...because its so horrible... What if something bad did happen?"
Saein stopped moving, her eyes and freckles losing expression. What could be worse than the things Minn did remember? She could not imagine. Finally, she put an arm around Minn and said âThen Iâd better get completely used to hugging you before you remember.â The cold pain of skin contact froze her lungs, though only for a second. She was getting used to it. Gasping for breath once the unpleasant feeling went away, she hugged her friend. âI think youâre pretty good at dealing with bad things from the pastâ she reassured her. âSeems we both do that by working.â She paused to think of something else to say, it wasnât easy now she was so sleepy. âMaybe itâs good when bad memories return, so you can stop the same thing from happening again.â Shivering from the cold this time, Saein pulled the blanket up. âYou canât change the past, but at least you have a bright future. But you can tell me about your memories, if you want. Now, or in the morning, or another time. What would you like?â She was still holding Minn, not for comforting anymore but because the girl was the warmest thing in the room. It was nice, once her body had stopped protesting about the lack of skin-communication. âIâll tell you about my memories too... if you want...â
Minn
Saein's skin was cold, the freckles along it only picking up somewhat of a speed after the blanket was pulled up around them. Minn was reminded of so many things, sad things, happy things, all concerning her 'sisters' but this felt different. Not just safe, because she definitely was safe. She couldn't deny it. A sense of rootedness, a belonging. Even with her 'sisters,' as close as she was with them, such a feeling never came over her.
The skin contact woke her up though, a strange adrenaline spreading down throughout her veins. Carefully, she pushed a piece of pink hair out of her green gaze, staring toward the wall. "My memories are mostly bad," she said quietly. "And these new ones...I'm pretty sure they're just as bad...if not worse." She sniffed. "Talking about them won't help. I can't remember much."
This wasn't completely true. She had made headway, thinking about it too hard, sleeping on it briefly earlier. She remembered another detail, a minuscule one, but one nonetheless. "All I can remember is that name," which she couldn't utter "and...needles. A lot of needles. Maybe I was sick or something. In a hospital." Glancing up to Saein, she half-wanted her to consider the possibility and give her opinion, but then shook her head. "It probably doesn't matter."
The girl looked half-dead and Minn smiled as she hugged her closer. Changing the subject, she said, "Eddie seemed to like his present," she giggled a bit, "you're very talented."
âNeedles?â Saein shuddered. She imagined a mad scientist using Minn for an acupuncture experiment that made the girl look like an overfull pincushion. But then Minn mentioned a hospital, and Saein figured she had been drugged, probably to prevent or remove memories of some event. âThat does sound bad. I guess it will come back to you, or not... and that it will matter only as much as you let it.â
Saein blushed and grinned from ear to ear when Minn changed the subject to praising her talent. It meant more to her than a compliment from anyone else. âThank you. I just like to make things. I think you know what thatâs like... except you make edible things.â She chuckled about the way she put that. Her eyes wandered from the green ones smiling back at her to Minnâs smile itself. It was fascinating, magnetic. Not yet, she mentally told herself.
She still felt cold. And she had forgotten something. âJust a second.â
Saein dug around in her luggage until she found a large blanket-like garment. It looked much more elegant than a snuggie once she had put it on, and it was made of the same soft and thin black material as most of Annâs clothes were. âMuch better.â She put her sisterâs luggage outside their room as promised, double checked that the door was locked, and returned to bed. âOkay, ready now. Câmere!â As Saein wrapped the blanket-thing she was wearing around Minn too, her laughter ended in a yelp. The cold feeling shot through her body again and stabbed her heart. âDamnit, I let go of you for two minutes... Okay, that was stupidâ she commented once she had regained control of her breathing. Although she had just been through a few moments of intense pain, she could still laugh. It was completely worth it to cuddle Minn.
âNice and warm, eh?â Saein ran her fingers through Minnâs hair. âThink you could sleep like this? I know I could.â
Minn
Saein returned with a yelp and Minn tried to squirm away at first, but Saein had a grip on her. She didn't mind at all, and smiled once she knew her bedmate was okay.
"Yes, very warm," she said with a small giggle, snuggling her head into Saein's shoulder. "If you're okay, I can stay here for quite a bit." She wrapped her arms around Saein, one under, one over, holding her tight to her side. Neither had said so, but both knew this was one of the more comfortable and exhilarating moments either had ever had. Minn didn't quite understand, her heart fluttered rapidly, but understanding wasn't her priority. What to do with these...feelings...overwhelming emotions...she didn't quite know.
Her fingertips played with the ends of Saein's hair. "This is nice," she whispered, raising her eyes to Saein's.
Saein could feel Minnâs heartbeat. Even without being able to sense her emotions directly, it was easy to figure out what was going on in Minnâs heart and mind. It wasnât very long ago that Minn had said âfriends firstâ, now the friends phase appeared to have lasted shorter than Saein had expected.
Minn clearly wasnât used to this kind of affection. Saein knew she would have to take the lead, it would be so easy to seduce the girl now... but she wasnât going to do that, and she wouldnât have even if she had already solved the puzzle of how that was supposed to work physically. She contemplated giving Minn a good night kiss straight on the lips, but maybe that would keep the girl from sleeping for hours.
Different feelings were trying to push each other out of Saeinâs mind. She badly needed sleep, but at the same time her heart wanted to see if it could be louder and faster than the one nearby. She chose to side with her sleepiness.
âI am better than fineâ Saein reassured Minn. âI think the first part of touching gets easier every time.â
Minn played with Saeinâs hair and whispered âThis is nice.â
The way those green eyes looked into her dark blue ones gave her warm, fuzzy, tingly feelings. She wanted nothing more than to take good care of this little bundle of cuteness, and to be looked after by the same of course. âIt is niceâ she agreed. âAlso warm, and safe, and sweet, and... things.â She made herself comfortable, embraced Minn a little tighter and gently stroked her back. âItâs nice because you are.â A big smile on her face, Saeinâs eyes slowly began to close while she continued to look into Minnâs. One by one, her freckles disappeared.
Minn
Saein's eyes fluttered closed and Minn was glad she wouldn't have to wonder about what to do, at least for tonight. Embracing her roommate, most likely soon to be more, she closed her eyes too, the lights dimming around them. MAK must have been watching. Minn probably would have cared, but sleep took her almost instantly.
.-.-.
She stood in a long hallway. Doors lined the walls, lights above bright and irritating to her eyes. Pulling a pair of shades down over her scowl, she started down the hall, pausing at the second to last door on the left-hand side. She knocked once. Listened. No answer or movement. Checking the handle, she saw it was unlocked and pushed herself inside.
The bunk was small, like a closet. A metal frame bed was shoved in the corner to make room for two duffel bags, food wrappers and cans. It smelled like a guy room. And the supposed culprit lay on the bed on top of the covers, sprawled out like he had fallen onto the thin mattress from a great height.
Minn closed the door and kept the light off.
Snaking her arms around him, she gently bit into his ear, grinning madly. He reacted as she expected him to react, jolting up, nearly knocking her out with his own head as his fist came around.
"Hey," she giggled, a soft edge to her voice that felt strange on her tongue. "It's just me."
Where her hands touched him, the muscles relaxed and a sigh wrapped around her. "Don't...do that," he muttered, leaning over his knees.
Minn smiled and hugged him. "You slept for a long time," she revealed, leaning her head on his shoulder.
He looked over, but she couldn't see his face in the dark. "Should I go?"
"No," she assured, tracing one finger down his jawline. "Stay here. With me."
"Minn?" he asked, a strange question.
She laughed. "Of course its me." Sitting up on her knees, she forced him back down on the blankets, straddling him middle and holding his hair tight as she pressed her lips to his. His hands reacted with sliding grace, moving up her sides to her hair as well, keeping her against him. Rocking her hips, she smiled into the kiss, tingling all over. It had been so long since she had been touched like this.
He broke the embrace, to breathe, to assess. "Did Boyle send you?"
"No," she laughed, stroking the side of his face. "Why would anyone send me? I can't come here on my own?"
He gave an empty chuckle, not explaining. "Look...I don't know if this is such a good idea..."
"Of course it is," she pressed on, fingers tapping and dancing down his chest to the waist of his pants. "You've wanted to for months."
His body was growing tense. "Yeah..." he admitted. "But Minn..."
Her pink fingers pressed to his mouth. "Bond. Just relax," she ordered, smiling madly.
.-.-.
Minn sucked in a deep breath, sitting up and trembling fingers heading straight for her hair. That wasn't a dream. That wasn't a dream!
Leaping from the bed, she stumbling and fell to her knees in the dark. She rocked forward. Why was she with Bond? What had happened that night? Had he been a previous client? She didn't understand! The memory was slipping away too quickly and tears came to her eyes from frustration.
What did it all mean?
Standing in the doorway to the kitchen, Saein sized up the new crew she had been added to. An experienced medic who had fixed her before - good; a geologist on his third mission - why not; an okay cook - okay; a captain who was a friend of hers - great!; an interpreter fresh out of university - hmm; a bunch of scouts straight from military service - poor disposables; a... well hello there!
She approached her new target. âHey. Iâm Saein. Iâm the one who will be rebuilding half of this new boat.â
The girl turned to face her, and took a step forward. She seemed angry and assertive. Their noses were almost touching. âIâll make sure you wonât have to rebuild the other half. Iâm Rachne, your pilot. And no, you wonât get any complaints about the controls not being just right.â
âHow did you know I was going to say that?â
âIâve been warned about you, hon.â Rachne tickled Saeinâs face with her black ponytail. Her agressive expression changed to something a little more cheeky. âWhat do you say we have a look at how nice a room I got? See if those warnings were necessary?â
âWhatwhatwhat?â
âCome on, I havenât got all day!â Rachne shoved her out of the kitchen. Saein wondered how a skinny girl was able to do that, and whether she should be happy about what was going to happen, or scared.
* * *
Suddenly much younger, Saein sat at her sisterâs bedside like she did every afternoon. Her eyes burned from too much crying. She kept muttering âI will fix this. I promise I will fix this.â
A doctor gestured at her. âSaein, come with me for a moment.â He offered her a chair in an office. âYou have to stop telling Annarein that. Part of her nervous system is gone, there is no way to heal it. Iâm sorry.â
âYou mean our family canât afford itâ Saein tried, talking to the wall instead of his face.
âI mean there really is nothing that can be done about it.â
âNO!â She screamed, slamming her fists on her legs. âNO! There IS a way! There IS!â
He put a hand on her shoulder and looked her sternly in the eye. âSaein, you have to understand, it was not your fault.â
* * *
âYouâve got a problem, you know. Working like crazy, drinking, chasing newbies for meaningless relationships...â Rachne wiped the sweat off her face. âYouâre trying to hide from something.â Minutes ago she had been aggressive and rough, now she looked so serene it was difficult to recognize her as the same person.
Saein thought she looked even more beautiful now, only a few lessons in tact and subtlety were needed to make this girl perfect. âThatâs an awful deep insight from someone I met less than an hour ago. And we didnât even talkâ she shot back at her.
âI told you I was warned about you.â
âWho have you been talking to?â
Rachne sighed. âAnn.â
âPlease tell me you didnât.â
The black-haired girl laughed. âDonât worry hon, I didnât give you sister-cooties.â
Saein sighed with relief. âSo she asked you to talk to me in that blunt way of yours, did she also tell you to... do that other thing?â
âOh heavens, no. She didnât ask me to do or say anything. I did it because I felt like it. Silly!â
â...And youâre telling me not to have meaningless relationships?â Saein furrowed her brow.
âI never said I donât have a problem.â Rachne smiled an innocent smile that would have been more appropriate on the face of a child.
âRight.â Saein looked down at her wrinkled clothes. What the fuck had just happened? âRight then. Iâll work on solving my problem...â She pinned Rachne against the wall in a surprise attack. â...if you work on yours.â
* * *
Saein stomped on the wrench that wouldnât move. âTurn, damn you! Turn! Turn! TURN!â What kind of idiot ship builder had screwed down the back up fuel rod so tight it wouldnât move?
âNeed a hand?â someone asked behind her.
Saein spun around. âWhat the hell are you doing outside the cockpit?â
âFat lot of good Iâm going to do there while the engine is down. Think Iâm just going to sit there and watch us crash into a star?â
âOUT!â Saein pointed at the exit of the engine room.
Another, now extra angry kick against the wrench, and the engine roared back to life. Just in time she grabbed a pipe. It immediately slipped from her hands, but it helped her aim her feet at the wall that had become the floor for a moment. Rachne wasnât so lucky, she was slammed against the doorframe as she walked out. She dropped to the floor, limp, her head ending up at an unnatural angle.
âCAPTAIN!â Saein yelled. âPILOT DOWN! MEDIC!â
She ran to help her girlfriend. Her for-real, share-everything, wonderful, crazy, dysfunctional girl. She found only an empty shell staring at nothing with a surprised expression.
* * *
The hateful glare Rachneâs parents gave to everyone in a bright orange RMEE jacket at the funeral seemed to linger on Saein for longer than on the others. Saein broke down in sobs. The medic, who was standing next to her, put his hand on her shoulder and told her âSaein, you have to understand, it was not your...â
Something shook Saein awake. She tried to shake the images out of her head. «Thanks, Rachne, what an awful dream» she said in her own language. âRachne?â Of course not. Then who was she breaking her promise with this time? No, she had stopped doing that years ago, she wasnât breaking her promise. Well, not that one, anyway. She still worked harder than was healthy for her, and she had become immune to alcohol. But who had been in bed with her? Minn! Where was Minn?
âMinn, are you okay?â she asked at the dark room. Her voice was shaky and weak.
Saein threw off her sleepwear. It was a little too warm now, which explained the nightmare. The image of Rachne, broken, the fire all gone from her almost-black eyes, kept showing everywhere around her in the darkness.
Minn
Saein was awake moments after her, asking if she was okay. She was definitely not, but she had to calm down. "I'm fine," she said, out loud and to herself. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. Holding her knees, she still rocked back and forth, green eyes flitting across the floor, here, then there, trying to find something that would never appear.
Why was she with Bond? He had known her. Called her by name. But she hadn't met him until signing on with the Nightwing. What was going on? Why couldn't she remember? And why would Bond hide it?
"I...saw...another memory...I think it was a memory. It wasn't a dream. Dreams feel real, but this WAS real. Really real. Too real...I..."
She covered her pink face with her pink fingers. "Bond was there. He was there before Nightwing. In my life. Without me knowing. He was there and he...he...was..."
She didn't want to say it, unsure of what completely happened. Snapping upright, she turned to Saein, but didn't touch her. She didn't want to shock her friend. Trembling, she grasped her hair and looked away just as quickly. Saein's concern was so genuine. So real. Just like Bond. Bond was there, and real, and touching her and smiling and...
Whining loudly, she curled down over her knees. "What is wrong with me!?"
(she's losing it...it's okay...)
Saein
Saein switched on the light, keeping it dimmed, only just enough light to see, and to stop seeing what remained of her dream. âBond?â she wondered aloud. That didnât make sense. If Bond was here to help Minn, why would he throw a smoke bomb into her kitchen? And if he wasnât here to help her, wouldnât it make things easier for him if she didnât remember? Pranking right in front of her in the kitchen was an odd way to not draw attention to himself. Maybe... Maybe Bond also didnât remember? But then it was a huge coincidence he was here. âErgh.â Saein was not awake enough to figure out this mystery. She did notice Minn stopped before telling what role he seemed to have had in her past.
"What is wrong with me!?" Minn whined.
That was a much easier question, one she knew the answer to. Minn probably meant it as a rhetorical one, but Saein replied anyway. She moved over and sat down next to Minn on the floor. âMinn.â She gently tidied the girlâs hair. âNo matter what you have done, no matter what others have done to you, I could never think there is something wrong with you.â She tried to imagine how Minn felt. âIt seems someone somehow tried to erase some of your memories. Itâs only normal to be confused and upset now.â
Saein looked away, distracted by her own pain. âI... I had a bad memory dream. Someone I... important died right behind my back. I blame myself.â She needed a deep breath between every sentence. âIâm here for you, but I also really need you right now.â Tears started flowing. She tugged at Minnâs hand. âCome back to bed and hug me, please?â
Annarein
âSaein is niceâ Ann agreed. âSheâs also always very busy. Iâll tell her you like the set.â She giggled at the idea of Saein getting annoyed by everyone telling her Eddie liked the present.
After a pause, she said âIâm glad she didnât make you a holographic set, that would have been even more difficult for me.â She reached to feel the shapes of the pieces. âIf only I could get Ip to understand that colors are important in games...â Ann picked up a knight. âThis one is different, does it have a special role?â
Maria was giggling about something, Ann probably was the only one who didnât look at her thinking she was crazy. The genkshi suggested showing them some magic tricks. "Well, if I aint got nothin' t'do, y'all wanna see some Magic, ze?"
âOh Iâd love to see it. That would be real magicâ Ann quietly said to herself. The right corner of her mouth twisted up.
Minn
Saein was comforting her, but didn't seem to be in an state to do so. Minn nodded furiously pulling her back to the mattress and fighting tears as she clung to her tightly, nearly shaking from the effort. "I'm sorry," she whispered, once she knew she could managed speaking evenly again. "About...your important person."
She buried her face down into Saein's shoulder, curling her legs around hers. Distantly she wondered if Saein was alright, but held tight anyway. It did help, little by little. Her words, her hug. No, maybe nothing was wrong with her, but someone had done something. They had taken part of her mind and it was driving her crazy. Bond must know something. She vowed to confront him as soon as possible, but not right now. Right now, she was hugging Saein and that's all she needed.
Saein tensed up when Minn hugged her. It wasnât too bad, they were already touching before the hug started, and soon she could relax. âGirlfriendâ she admitted. âShe was my girlfriend.â She wrapped her arms and legs tight around her friend, responding to and imitating Minn. She added âIt was a long time ago.â
Saein cuddled Minn, every once in a while she said something like âyouâll be alrightâ or âitâs going to be okayâ. She wasnât sure if she was saying those things to herself or to Minn. Being held made her feel loved, and feeling loved chased away her feelings of guilt. She wished she could sense Minnâs feelings like she was used to in hugs. Instinctively she hugged her tighter to feel more, which didnât work. She moved to look at Minnâs face, which didnât have the readable freckles of her own kind but at least gave her some information.
Minn had such an interesting look. On Wen, at least in places where warm clothing was needed, she would not stand out at all when seen from behind. Seen from the front, she was obviously not a firni. Nobody had green eyes or pink skin. This somehow made her prettier than any firni could be, or maybe Saein liked everything that made Minn look special because she liked Minn. The difference didnât matter, seeing Minn gave Saein happy feelings. The way Minn had curled her legs around hers gave Saein a different kind of happy feelings, which put a pattern on her face that Minn had not seen before. With a small smile, she continued watching Minn and started playing with Minnâs hair. She wasnât sure if this was a good moment yet.
After a while Saein decided to risk it. She tilted her head, put her face close to Minnâs, and closed her eyes.
((Looks like Iâll soon get to use a line Iâve been sitting on for ages... But of course anything can happen to postpone it...))
