John Mathews's Story

John sipped at his coffee in the Officers rec room while reading the paper calmly. The other officers gave him a bit of a wide birth, all acutely aware that the silver bar on his shoulder was just a formality and that the man had lost none of his contacts at the higher levels. Life isn’t what you know but whom you know and that man had connections befitting a former Lt. Colonel… but that was a moot point for him. He was a LT now and he hadn’t lorded his former rank over anyone, though he had been subtle in letting the base commander know that there were boundaries to which he’d act the part of the lowly officer especially when he was only here as a favour to said base commander to look at the new recruits.

Oh well, he had time to kill before he would be shipping out to a carrier, or maybe he’d head to the southern border to preform patrols. Then again there was always Hierlark in the north- his train of thought was cut short by the blare of a siren and an announcement declaring an exercise followed swiftly by the pounding of feet of the young and inexperienced troops to stations. “Huh, kids…” he said with a chuckle as he finished his coffee before leisurely heading to the con tower. He wasn’t here to sortie and didn’t bother being in the rush the others were yet he still made good time.

Stepping off the top stair into the tower he glanced about the runways with discerning eyes noting every last young soldier from afar and making internal comments on their movements and performance even on the ground. Subtle things like how they walked and carried themselves and their gear told him plenty. “So what do you think Colonel?” the man in the nearest chair asked as he glanced at John.

“I’m not a Colonel, Howard, just a LT now…” John said with a smile as he walked over to the man’s station overlooking Phantom’s runway, “You know that.”

Howard chuckled and shook his head, “Yeah, well, you’ve got more flight time in combat than anyone on this base there, Colonel, and we all know your rank is a formality.”

“It is not a formality, Howard, it’s serious, Colonels don’t fly remember.”

“Yeah, Yeah, well since you can’t order me to stop I guess you’re plum out of luck their ‘Legend’.”

John wacked the man upside the head with his paper but they were both smiling. John’s smile, however, faded as he glanced at the last plane on the runway. He picked up a radio set and placed it on his head while looking to the call sign. Howard understood and connected him.

In the cockpit of Phantom One the radio crackled as John’s voice broke through the white noise, “What the hell do you think you’re doing Nugget? You’re squad could already be dead by now and you’re just getting to your plane? How’d you get to be a lead anyway…” John was now doing his job, the fun part, busting the chops of these younger flyers, “You waiting for an invitation? The flight master just gave you the sign, get up there!” he said sternly before cutting off the line and sitting back on the console, turning to watch the youths fly.

Howard scoffed, “Sure sound like a Colonel to me there John…” he got wacked again.

Blaze shifted in her cockpit seat as she watched the other members of Phantom Squadron slowly beginning to make their way to her. First was Phantom 3, callsign Rapier. She didn't know much about this one except from the comms that it was another woman. It felt kind of nice not being the only woman in the Squad, and it gave Blaze a slight boost in both comfort and confidence. However, daydreaming was always a threat from her and this time it nearly cost her.

From behind her Phantom 4 almost collided with Phantom 3, and her shaky nerves took over her reflexes as she jerked her flight stick to the right to avoid another possible collision. She quickly regained control of her craft, however, and put herself back into proper position in the current formation.

"Phew..." She whispered to herself.

She knew that, while most of the others didn't see that little mishap, the top brass watching her certainly did. It made her nervous to know that they had called in some of the highest ranking officers to observe the new Squadrons in action. Both the Lieutenant Commander and the Base Commander himself were present. Not only that, but from the briefing she got a couple days ago she knew that there were also veteran pilots watching them too.

The last part became all too clear when the Pilot known as "Legend" came onto the comms.

Legend to Phantom Squadron, showboating is for the simulators ladies. Get your heads out your asses and fly straight or touch down and save us having to scrape you off the pavement... You get me?" His powerful and authoritative voice commanded.

She took a breath and then looked down. Her hands were shaking a little on the stick from being nervous about who was watching. It was similar to stage fright in high school, but this was on another level entirely. She got a grip on herself a moment later and flicked her communicator back on.

"This is Blaze, roger." She said before shutting off her comm.

Her response was a bit hasty, but she wanted to make a good impression. A quick response showed how well you were paying attention, and most of her life she had responded quickly when spoken to. Some people called her a suck up for doing so, or a teacher's pet, but in Blaze's mind it was just being polite and prompt. She didn't see anything wrong with responding quickly to requests and orders, but because of all the taunts she got it was another area of self consciousness for her as she tried to clear her mind while she waited for Phantom 1 to arrive.

While she was at it, she flicked on her comm to talk to the others as she set the channel to private so only the Squadron could hear her. This whole time her comm had been on one way so she could hear what they said without them listening to her unless she flipped her channel setting to public. It was a handy modification she made to her helmet and communication system a while back, which was another small chunk of her rather full debt, but it gave her privacy in the cockpit when she wanted it.

"Phantom 2 to Phantom Squadron, are we all okay?" She asked.

Woops...Wrong location ==

Kreiss closed his eyes at the sudden outburst he received. Alright. It's all alright. It's fine. This outburst was nothing to him as long as he prevented Blaze and Rodeo from arguing over who took the carrier. If he had just let Blaze and Rodeo go on with aiming for the same target, they would eventually clash with each other. This outburst was enough to prove it. Adverting that demise unto himself, was probably for the best call.

Throughout the ordeal, he listened, but never said a word. His patience for his squadron was amazing, as he always was during ground training with other pilots. He just never had a soft spot for officers who just started poking around in your business. And he had no right to start yelling back at those two. After all, it was his lack of experience that caused this. No one was going to listen to a greenhorn, and Kreiss himself knew it. Without ignoring the stabbing remarks made by Blaze, he winced at his lecture, but kept a firm look out for their Phantom 3, who was already under focus-fire. Just as Rapier began to blow her own anger off, Kreiss had already made a wide turn and painted 2 SAM ships each with 2 of his SAAMs, sinking them quickly. Behind Rapier, a bogey had appeared out of nowhere.

"3! Danger straight at 6! A.S.A.P!" he warned the pilot quickly. Drag-and-Bag. He continued to try and lock his sights straight on the bogey, but this particular bogey was doing extremely well, causing Kreiss to waste 1 SAAM, losing the paint and failing to track the bogey. One last SAAM to go.

'Do something good for once today. Save a teammate from elimination. NOW. ' he told himself in his mind. Instead of closing in like he used to, he slowed down and allowed his radar to track down the bogey. He fired the last SAAM at his disposal. The bogey tried once more to evade, but the distance and view made it easier for Kreiss to adjust his craft accordingly. As a last resort, the bogey completely relinquished the chase and banked away. Kreiss tried to give chase to allow the SAAM to reach it's intended target but failed once again when the bogey moved out of the radar's range. He banked incredibly hard, he could feel the groans and creak coming from his unrelenting turn against the nature of the craft. His bank was faster than the bogey's and they eventually ended up in a rolling scissors when the bogey decided to try and roll away from him. Slowly and surely, Kreiss gained the upperhand in the rolling scissors and fired 3 missiles, 2 of them managing to hit the bogey's wing, bring it down. As soon as that was over, he didn't celebrate but merely pulled out a deep dive.

"...I won't ask for anything else now. Just look after each other from here on out. The 3 of you. " he made the announcement over the comms, a huge trace of his enthusiasm completely vanishing from his once cheerful demeanor. Pulling out a fairly well executed though poorly controlled air strafe, he emptied the rest of his machine gun ammunition into the sides of several ships, trying to cause as much damage as he could for the rest of the Squadron. With a shaky recovery from the sideslip, he pulled up from his dive. He looked into his comms, to the Tower, to the other Phantoms.

"...Tower, prepare for a touchdown. " he said quietly. His lips brought itself into a forced smile. "I know it seems that I'm leaving the Squadron because I can't do any better. That may be true, but I think Phantom's had enough trouble from me for this drill. It would seem they'd do better without me anyway. So, Phantom, do your best out there until time's up. Do your best guys, it was good run. But not your best, you guys can do better. " The F-15C flew in the opposite direction from the one that the other Phantoms were moving towards. As he passed them, he brought his hand up for a salute. Down by one pilot, wasn't a difference to these guys. They were great. Better than he could ever be. He would only make things worse for them. He looked up at the skies. It was a brilliant day, shame to have it end in this fashion. It was probably going to be his last day flying through the skies. He was bound to be removed from the squadron and altogether removed from the OADF.

After savoring what was probably his last flight, he finally touched down and brought the F-15C into a skidding halt. Without waiting for the ground crew to bring in a ladder, he popped the lid and jumped off, heading straight to the Tower, knowing fully well who he had to face.

He knocked and walked in. He could see that none of the officers looked very pleased with him leaving, but nonetheless, he struck a salute before asking.

"May I ask permission to met with Lt. Colonel Danny? " as a response, a tall,well-groomed man in his late 20's with dark brown hair tucked underneath his pilot cap stood up and walked towards Kreiss.

"If you could give us a minute. " the officer, Danny, said out loud for the others to hear. And he kept a shoulder around the young pilot's shoulder before steering him out, closing the door behind them.

There was a long silence between them, until...

"...If you won't talk then I will. What happened out there, Kreiss?" the Lt. Colonel began. At this Kreiss quickly looked up and explained himself, not able to contain his voice even if the other officers inside could hear them. For the first time, he sounded extremely hurt...and disappointed.

"They won't listen to me, Danny! I told you nobody would! Nobody EVER listens to an Airman... I can't do anything if they don't listen. I just wanted to prevent those two from possibly getting into an argument! Having everyone aiming for the same darn thing wouldn't have done us any better favors! Sending 2 of them to interchange just so they could watch each other's back until they took down the carrier, then it's back to Phantom Squadron business! " he stopped for breath, panting raggedly from his immensely vocalized irritation. "Maybe I should've just kept quiet. "

"But that's not the job of a Flight Lead, isn't it? Members have to await your orders." mused the officer, raising an eyebrow.

"SCREW BEING A FLIGHT LEAD! Fuck it! I don't have what it takes. I'm not authoritative enough, I'm just a greenhorn that never scored perfectly for anything during simulations and now even 'Legend' knows just how bad I am. And I even talked back to him! I TALKED BACK TO HIM, DANNY!" he burst out, showing the huge regret written all over his face.

"Kreiss,Kreiss! Calm down!" soothed Danny, getting a firm grasp on Kreiss's shoulders to steady him. Kreiss breathed in and out several times, gulping down air as if he vitally needed it.

"I knew you had a shot at being the Flight Lead. That's why I recommended you. You'll get better at it with practice, heck, every officer started from where you were. We learn to be authoritative, Kreiss. And you're not a greenhorn, kid. What kind of greenhorn pulls out such a quick take-off that no one has ever seen?! Remember your first time for a real flight? You don't know how many officers were impressed. Something deemed impossible was accomplished that day, and I know you can accomplish even more. "

At this, Kreiss felt even more devastated. In a choked voice, he looked at the officer straight in the eyes.

"I'm sorry for disappointing you! I failed your expectations... I've failed everything that you thought I could do! You're the only one that believes in me and I've thrown that all down the drain!" Kreiss broke down, knowing that resisting it was futile.

"You haven't failed yet, you know? I'll ask them for one more chance. I'm not sure many of them would be fond of it. But one more chance. Maybe showing the way you want to protect them is a little more difficult during air combat than it is during firearms. But I'm sure you'll figure out the way. You're Edge after all. " the officer winked and clapped a solid hand on Kreiss's shoulder. "I know you've tried to hide that callsign to prevent getting attention. But be proud of it. The previous Edge was the previous Blaze's greatest wingman. Not everyone knows about that. But those who know, know how much Edge was willing to sacrifice for the Razgriz. And that form of protection was what I saw in you. So wipe those tears and stop being a sissy. Where was the tough Kreiss who used to laugh at all the tough training I put you through? Don't let this bring you down. You can fail several times. But you can never fail forever. So keep trying. That's what you do best. Be yourself! Rebellious or not, just be who you are. Pretending to be someone you're not won't let you go far."

There was a reason why Kreiss had great respect for Danny. He felt...similar to his deceased father in several ways. The lecture that would soon be replaced by encouraging words, no harsh words of anger, only lectures that were soothingly said to nurture. Kreiss ran a hand over his wet face and wiped it down the best he could, preparing to make himself presentable. Hopefully the redness wouldn't be visible around his eyes. Danny opened the door and walked in.

"Thank you for allowing me to speak with Lt. Colonel Danny despite your busy schedules. " he saluted and yelled out with his returning enthusiasm and energy. "Lt. Colonel John, sir. You are obliged to removed me from my post or totally removed me from OADF if you wish..." Danny looked a little shocked at this. "But, there is no punishment needed for Blaze or Rodeo's actions. Although they disobeyed orders, that was because I had no experience to pull them together and make them go through it. They have their own ideas and possibly better tactics than I myself do. And it would be a waste if a prodigy such as Blaze were to be removed. Did you know sir, that the one named Blaze scored the highest simulation score? I'll take my leave now, sir. There is not much for me left to do here." Danny nodded approvingly despite the apparent disapprovals from the other officers when Kreiss excused himself. One could leave only when a higher up dismissed him/her, but Kreiss once again crashed that rule into oblivion.

"Like father, like son. Man, Rafe...you have a son that's going to be better than you and me. " the officer muttered to himself, smiling while shaking his head. He seemed a little proud...

Kreiss heard a throat being cleared and turned around to see an officer standing before him.

“You there, you wouldn’t happen to be Phantom One would you?” the man asked. The voice was so...familiar, where had Kreiss heard it before?

He stepped into a bright salute with his renewed vigor.

"Speaking sir. But I'm afraid I may no longer be the Phantom One. " Kreiss said. Despite the depressing line,he had a strong smile fixed upon his face. The conversation with Lt. Colonel Danny had definitely brought his well-known cheerfulness back into shape. Then it clicked. This voice...

"Sir...could you by any chance be 'Legend'? " he asked quickly, keeping his salute up the entire time, but he couldn't help himself from bursting into questions. "Why are you here? Are the Phantoms done? Is the drill over? Did any of the Phantoms get taken out? How well did they do? "

Finally he caught himself and coughed with embarrassment. "Sorry. I was just...caught up with how they were doing... "

“You weren’t so courteous when you were telling me ‘kiss my ass’ over the com…”

Kreiss shook his head, trying his best not to laugh. Respect still had to be given to any higher-ups, just as long as they never got to his nerves. And at this moment, 'Legend' wasn't getting onto his nerves. As the officer began to criticize his performance as a flight lead, Kreiss kept his hands behind his back and listened while keeping a smile up on his face. Then nodded.

"I know,sir. Simulation scores: Always below average. Ground school lessons: Worst In Every Possible Way. Everything. " he listed out the ones he was infamously well-known for.

“You damn near got you’re self-killed out there with stupid speeches and pointless strategies, you know that… if it was really you would have almost gotten everyone killed…” then in a lighter tone “And yet, for some reason, I’m certain that you would have been the first to take the missile for the others…”

In any normal situation, the first line would've already sent Kreiss into another retort, but he allowed this one to slide, because it was true. Even if he thought that his speeches weren't stupid, and his strategies not pointless, it wasn't anything compared to the experiences coming from a 15 year veteran, an experienced squadron member and another intellectual squadron member. They had all said the same thing. Mentioned about his stupidity. And it was better to admit it then to deny it. It was time to learn from these...criticisms. Taken a missile for the others? That was something that Kreiss would do, and something that Lt. Colonel Danny knew about and approved of. So now 'Legend' noticed this as well?

“That’s not noble, not for a leader kid,” but it seemed that he didn't approve the way Danny did, “You have to survive as a leader, that’s the sick truth, you can’t go letting yourself be the lamb on the altar when you have to lead those that remain… you’re not a flight lead kid, you’re a wingman, the sooner you figure that out… the better. ”

Kreiss watched as the officer start walking away, “I wouldn’t fly under you if my own mother gave the order and HER life depended on it…but,” then the officer glanced back at him, “I would fly next to you… in a heartbeat.”

Kreiss felt...different after that specific comment. He saluted even though the officer couldn't see him.

"That means alot, sir. I'm honored." then he broke into a wide grin. "But sir, just understand one thing. I never meant to lead and I definitely don't know how. I don't do leading. And after hearing your description of leading... I won't ever do it. "

He walked towards the exit, keeping his voice up so that 'Legend' could hear him despite walking away.

"No one said I was going to take a missile for the squadron. If there's a team to lead, then I'm leading them. I'm not going to die, and I'm making sure no one else is either. A leader has to make sacrifices for the better, then I'm not a leader. I won't let anyone die if I can help it. If that means I'm a wingman, then let that sit there. If all flight leads have always watched their squadron members die, then I can never be proud of being a flight lead. It's not my type of thing, even if it's a thing that people like you can't avoid. And. I've already figured it out since the beginning. I knew I wasn't a flight lead. But this was a role a certain person chose for me. And I have an expectation to fulfill. And I'll do it my way. You may think it's arrogant, but I assure you, I'm not, sir. "

He walked towards the hangar and made small talk with some of the maintenance crew about several nonsensical subjects. He received a small report about the condition on the stock F-15C that he was using. Everything was alright, just a few plates loose when he forced the bank during the last part of his flight to save Phantom 3 and take out the bogey.