You are a Space Marine, the living incarnation of the Emperor's wrath. You have served and protected mankind for millenia, facing the Emperor's foes wherever they may be. You have fought the savage Orks, and the merciless forces of Chaos. You have witnessed first-hand the fall of entire planetary systems to the overwhelming numbers of the Tyranids. All of this and more have you seen throughout your many years of service, and not once did you ever let fear grasp your heart(s)... until one day...

As you and a handful of your Battle-Brothers from the Angry Marines chapter were flying on your routine patrol in the Beeyetch sector, when suddenly your ships navigator accidentally piloted your ship into the Warp! Uh oh! For those of you that don't know what the Warp is, the official definition can be found below.

Warp(n): FUCK.

So yeah, you and your mates got pulled into the Warp, transcending time and space until you finally popped out over an unknown planet. Then suddenly, your ships navigator accidentally crashed you into the planet! Uh oh! Luckily, you all survived. As you and your Battle-Brothers emerged from the wreckage, your eyes fell upon a strange creature.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie!"

You and your comrades take a step back.

"The xenos speaks!"

"PURGE IT!"

"Hold, brothers! Let us let the beast decide its judgement by its words." Called the Captain.

He approached the pink creature.

"Well, xenos?"

"Weeeeelllll I dunno much about 'judgement', but judge sounds like fudge, and I like fudge! But sometimes I eat too much fudge and get a pudge and then I can't budge!"

The Captains brow lowered as he slowly turned back to his men.

"PUUUUUUUUURGE!!!"

With that you and your brothers pulled out your Melta Guns and Flamers and performed your Imperial Duty.

As the beast roasted in the Emperors cleansing flame, it gave out one last cry.

"Ouchies! Oh no! Now who's gonna bake Princess Celestia's birthday cupca-" The final word was cut off as the creature turned to ash.

"It is done..."

"By the Emperor... What was that thing?"

"I do not know, but if there are more like it on this planet than it deserves nothing less than an Exterminatus!"

"Those last words it said... 'Princess Celestia"... What could it mean?"

"It means that one of those blasphemed beasts has dared to give itself a royal title in the Emperors realm, and it is our duty as Space Marines to see to the demise of this foul Xenos! Brothers, ready yourselves... We know not what awaits us..."


-SKELETON-

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