Satan's Story

"Oh, I'm sure he won't." Jack picks up a dark dagger on the floor, "But I'll give him trouble."

"Gahh.. I don't see anyone doing that..." Azazel spots Jack holding the potion, "Dude, what are you doing with that thing?"

"I happen to give this to Satan for all the hard work he has done for everybody. Kid, I'm just showing my gratitude. And no, it isn't a trick. It's honesty."

"....Alright dude, I see what you're doing... Trying to be all nice and stuff? Well.. Go ahead. But he won't talk to you because you... well, you know."

"Just giving my apologies." Jack lied.

He begins his escape plan by going to the petrified devil. Jack looks at the potion and smirks, and he pours them on the statue. The spell causes the statue to break apart, unleashing the red devil himself named Satan.

"Urgh.... what..... ooh.... I'm back to normal." Satan chuckled, "Yes... It's good to be back to my humble self.... I was worried that would be in my own personal Hell."

However, the potion is not actually a restorative potion, as it begins burning away at the still stone Satan. Shu flies into the palace and lands by Jack.

"What is this?!" he exclaims. "This little mortal is attempting to assassinate the greatest of all demons while he is in such a vulnerable state!"

Mr. Thurston appears before the still-stone Satan, gasping dramatically.

"And I thought he was SO trustworthy!" said Thurston.

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! HOT! HOT!!!" Satan screamed, "You... cretin!!! What did you do?!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, the root of all evil is about to get killed by yours truly!" Jack grabs Satan by the horn and points his dark dagger at his neck, "Unless you open the gate to the real world, this big red fucker's neck will slit open and gush out blood everywhere."

Satan is looking scared. "D-Do what he says...!! I think he means it..." He whimpered, "Please... I'm too old to die!"

"FUCKIN' HELL! Stop!" Azazel gets out his whip and tries to steal the the black dagger, but Handsome Jack grabs the whip and pulls Azazel over to him."

"Shhh... language..." Jack points his dagger at Azazel's face, "You better open the gate, or your master dies. Simple as that. Don't make me repeat again."

"C-Chill, bro... I'll open the gate--"

"No!" Satan screamed, "This miserable sinmaking hooligan had done a lot of damage in the past that he must--" Then he gets punched by Jack, "AAHHH!!!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that you are still talking, which means I have not killed you yet. OPEN THE GATES, DEMON!!!"

Azazel reluctantly nods and activates the hellish gateway that will take him to anywhere the prisoner desires. Handsome Jack withdraws his dagger and run towards the portal. But before he do that, he will bid farewell to the demons around him.

"I love to stay and work for you Satan, but I got plans for my big comeback. In fact, I got big plans for every one of you bandits. And I will make sure that this plan will never fail like last time. So farewell and fuck you all!" Jack gives the bird in front of everyone, "Bitches!!" He enters the portal and the portal disappeared. Handsome Jack escaped from Hellborne!

"....Dude.... That guy... isn't normal..." Azazel looks at the other demons, "That is not cool..."

"Oorgh.... I'm getting too old for this...." Satan groaned.

OOC: ... Okay, we'll just say that the potion's acidity was good that it melted the stone right off.

IC:

"Indeed you are." hisses Shu at Satan before turning. "FELLOW DEMONS! Your 'lord' has just shown his true cowardice, giving in to a mere mortal's demands just because a dagger was at his throat, as if his life was really at risk! Given his other failures in recent years... letting damned souls go all too easy, being turned to stone by the same mortal he just let loose, losing a game of tug of war to two little girls... I believe it is time that we demand he step down, so a new lord of Hell may rise! One who can bring a new era of darkness upon the entire universe!"

All of the demons around the area begin mumbling amongst themselves, staring at Satan disapprovingly.

"Now see here!! I still got some mojo left in me... Just.... er...." Satan looks at his stony body, "...Oh... Maybe it would be best to make a retirement after all... But if you are willing to replace me, at least that fellow over there will probably be the next leader."

"...Wait.. Me? ......Oooh no... No no no no no no..." Azazel backs away, "I am not gonna be the next leader of the demons, bro. Count me out."

"What do you mean? You have horns, you have pale skin, you'd be perfect for---"

"NO, old man. I am not going to do your shit for you. My life was boring as a torturer for years. I want to start my own destiny."

"Oh really? What could be more fun than torturing victims in Hellborne Valley?"

"Becoming the badass rocker in history, bro." Azazel pulls out his electric guitar, "Besides, Thurston or Shu would've been the next leader."

"Me, leader?" asked Thurston. "Oh goodness me, no. Not while my full power's still sealed away. How do you POSSIBLY expect me to bring about a new age of darkness when all I can do is teleport and warp reality?"

"Then it is settled..." chuckles Shu. "I shall become the new ruler of Hellborne Valley, and demons everywhere! A new age is upon us, and I trust you will all aid me in bringing it forward! LONG LIVE SHU!"

Several Shoe Demons in the vicinity begin chanting "Shu." Soon enough, many of the other demons join them.

"Urggh..." The Thug Leader wakes up from his short coma and notices that Satan has been dethroned. But he finds out that Jack escaped. "I can't believe Handsome Jack ditched me! That son of a...!! Well, at least Satan giving me a break, right?"

Some Shoe Demons grab the Thug Leader, and begin dunking him into a lake of lava repeatedly.

"I WAS WRONG!!!!!!! JAAAAAAAAAACCKKK!! YOOOUU JEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRKKK!!!"

"...Eh, I was getting bored anyhow," Hades commented. "So, 'New Boss', what's your first plan of action gonna be?"

"Oh, I've already set several in motion." cackles Shu. "My claws are dug deep into many places. For now, however, all of those demons and damned souls most proficient at combat shall begin training many of the others rigorously! I want an army in tip-top shape!"

"Dude. Count me out. I'm sticking with my own career path."

Azazel is walking back to his pad, and he is thinking about leaving Hellborne. The first thing he had in mind was gathering band members. He was thinking if his childhood friends would be interested to form a rock band together.

"Suit yourself, (lazy bum)" Hades said to Azazel.

Double appeared near the Thug Leader. "Perhaps if you desire, we have a position open for one with your talents."

The burned Thug Leader gets out of the lava and rolls around the ground to rid from the flames. He gets up and faces Double, and he hears her offer very clearly. "A position you say? Now you're speakin' my language." He replied with interest, "And what sort of position are we talkin' about, Toots?"

"Believe it or not, we are short on commanders for the underworld's armies," Double continued. "One of your leadership and management skills would make a suitable commander for our legions."

"Well, that's what I'm here for. Lady, you got yourself a deal." The Thug Leader smiled.

"Gladly. Just...remember that you now serve this realm. At the first sign of defiance...well, you will suffer worse than a lava bath. Am I clear?"

"Oh- I'm sure everything will be just fine, ma'am! If any of those peons start to slack off, I'll give them a good pound or two."