Strong Bad's Story

Strong Bad: ♫I feel like checkin' eee-maaaaills~ I never re- ply su muh...♫ Uhh nevermind.

Strong Bad is checking on his e-mails to see if there is anything new to answer. Then one day, he finds a good e-mail to answer and decides to write him a reply.

Dear Strong Bad,

Have you ever been thinking about building your own inn in Free Country U.S.A.? You should make your home more attractive than ever before. People might visit your place and mingle with the locals.

Hope to check out your place, Mort E, Los Angeles.

Strong Bad: Wait, you want me to make a hotel in Free Country U.S.A.? Well, there's not much to look around here. Just your average blandful of normalities--

Then he hears a noise from outside. It sounds like somebody is constructing a building just far away. Strong Bad decides to go outside and find out what is in there.

Concerned about the ruckus from outside, Strong Bad arrives at the nick of time. But he sees that nothing is there. Just an old car, a stick, and the Blubb-Os whale sticking out. Confused, Strong Bad has no idea where that noise comes from.

Strong Bad: That's funny. I heard all the rattling and clanking and battering outside, but no construction.

Then he sees The Cheat wearing a construction helmet. Since when did The Cheat wear a construction helmet? Strong Bad is more puzzled than usual, and wonders why. Then all of a sudden, he finds a luxurious tower, with only five stories tall.

Strong Bad: The Cheat? Did you build that?
The Cheat: Meh meh meh!
Strong Bad: How can you afford something like this, man? It's huge! Where did you find that out fro--- Oh... Probably relating to my e-mail, huh?
The Cheat: Meh meh.
Strong Bad: You're saying that this will get me the ladies? You say that it will beat the hotel comp-e-ti-tion?
The Cheat: Mmmhmm!

Strong Bad's frown becomes a smile. Maybe this is his chance to be an ultimate somebody instead of a nobody! With that, he enters the hotel. The Cheat followed his red masked boss and see what's inside.

Upon entering the hotel, Strong Bad is highly impressed by the looks from the inside. There is a portrait of Strong Bad holding Lord Quackingstick in his boxing glove, golden statues of Trogdors are placed between the big door, smooth jazz music is playing in the background, and the fountain is pouring pure water from the wall.

Strong Bad: The Cheat, this is amazing! How? Wha--? Duh--!? Is this what the hotel looks like from the inside? It's got to be a 5-star kind of thing... where they have fountains... and high quality carpets, man... But it needs a name. Something that will spice up the mix. Something that will make it look cool, suave, and all time classic. Something like the movies we did to... Wait! Of course! Why haven't I thought of a name before? From now on, this hotel shall be called Dangeresque Luxery Hotel. Because with the name like that, it will be too hard to say no. The only problem we got at the moment is the lack of people. You know, the kind of people who come in here and mingle with the crowds... and enjoy it too... It's that kind of thing.

Speak of the devil! Another person walks in while he scratches his butt and mumbles softly. It seems to be another Strong Bad, only taller and more stinkier.

Senor Cardgage: Oivey cavey.... Is there a monstrudel in da housa...?
Strong Bad: There's a start. The Cheat, how many rooms do we have in the hotel?
The Cheat: Mehmehmeh.
Strong Bad: Twenty rooms? I thought this is a five-stories building! Are you telling me that it's incomplete?
The Cheat: Meh meh meh.
Strong Bad: I guess the only way to improve this hotel is to get more money and buy expansions for this thing. What if there is an alternative?
The Cheat: Meeehhh....
Strong Bad: More people? *thinks* Hmm.... That's a better alternative.
Senor Cardgage: Cucumbers... and wingdings....
Strong Bad: Hey, Cardgage? Need a room?
Senor Cardgage: Huh... Why not...

With the first guest on the first day, Strong Bad hands over the key to Senor Cardgage. The Cheat leads Cardgage to his destined room.

Strong Bad: Deep down inside, he is totally happy. I'm surprised he's not complaining about a firey textured carpet. Man, what a guy!

Ted walks in. He's on vacation in the USA, despite not knowing any word english. Due this, he has stranded at the Dangeresque Luxery Hotel.

Ted: Hoi goochem. Mag ik hier een kamer huren?

He asked Strong Bad in Dutch as he looked around.

Strong Bad: Huh??

Strong Bad did not understand Dutch. He probably forgot about tourism and their languages.

Strong Bad: Kamer Huren? What the crap?? Is this some kind of vocabulary I find from Coach Z's book of nonsensical rap words???

Ted: Wat bazel je nou? ik vroeg niet naar krab, maar een kamer! Je weet wel, om in te slapen.

Ted gets a bit irritated.

Strong Bad: Wait-- You're into slappin'???

He misheard Ted saying that he wants to slap him in the face.

Ted: Slaaapen! je weet wel, zzzzzzz!!

He said as he made sleeping sounds.

The Cheat returns to the lobby and checks on Strong Bad, and finds a tourist wearing a Santa Claus outfit.

Strong Bad: Oooooh... Sleeping. You want to sleep here...
The Cheat: Meh meh meh?
Strong Bad: This guy in a Santaman getup wants to sleep here. You know the drill: give him the room so he can turn his room into an early Decemberween room.
The Cheat: Meh!

Ted: Aw~ een baby cheetah. Zo schattig.

He finds The Cheat cute as he thinks it's a baby cheetah.

Strong Bad: Whaatt??? Are you kidding me, The Cheat? First day on the job and already you got more popularity with this gibberish old man.

Ted tries to hug The Cheat

The Cheat growls at Ted and tries to bite him.

Ted backs off, not wanting to get bitten.

Ted: Stoute kat!

Strong Bad: The Cheat! Heel! I'll take it from here. You just take charge on your lobbyist position.

Strong Bad leaves The Cheat alone and gives Ted his own room key. He brings Ted to his own room.

Strong Bad makes it to the dormitorie while Ted follows him here. Ted's room number is 102, so his room is next to Senor Cardgage.

Strong Bad: One oh two, and one oh two. This is a room that's just for you. Just impress us with your Decemberween getup so we can all die happy.

Ted: Ja ja!

He said without even getting what they said.

He takes the key and opens the door to his room.

Strong Bad: Two people in one day! This is getting better every time. *le sigh* But this is all wrong. I still haven't got the babes yet. I'm starting to think that this hotel isn't suitable for for my style. And how are they gonna get room service without room service? Well, there's only one thing to do: hire a couple of losers to make the hotel stable.