Snippet #1205282

Monika

The mirror was life-sized. As intimidating as a man with hurtful words would be. No. No words were spoken here, just a painful image of what I was not. I'd cocked my head this way and that, turned sideways and observed my flat tummy, as my pale hand ran along the velvety fabric over the flesh. Like a stab into the fog that suddenly had me enveloped, it ripped my thoughts back to reality, were my Aunt Asta was calling my name from downstairs. I didn't reply immediately, I just didn't want to, I cast a long glance at my face in the mirror and walked away from it, disappearing into the bathroom across the hallway. Tonight was the dinner that my Aunt has been planning for the past week that I've been here.

You see, our family lived all the way in Chicago, but they didn't want me around anymore. I couldn't hate them, after all, I was the one that severed the ties and dumped my family's good wishes down the drain. How stupid I was. Much like what happened with Aunt Asta, she's an energetic brunette with bright eyes and an obnoxiously social personality. She had ran from our family with the hope of a better life, and found herself alone on the shore of America. Just like I was right now.

Eventually, I emerged from the bathroom, a fresh batch of make-up like a fresh layer on my features, and then I descended down to where my Aunt was rummaging in the kitchen. "I don't like it," I simply stated, standing in the doorway of the brightly lit kitchen, causing Asta to swing around and examine the thin frame that the dress hung off of. I had lost half my weight.

"It looks fine--well, I don't know. Come here," the woman crossed over to hook her arm into mine and bring me upstairs to change. "I have a red dress that I used to wear when I was back in Chicago." When she was anorexic. But I wasn't. My body is fine, at least I thought so. I just don't have an appetite.

"Can I just wear jeans? I mean, it's not a real date," I complained, allowing Asta to drag me up the stairs like a bag that I was sure I felt like.

"What do you mean, it's not a real date?" Asta hissed, furrowing her thin brows over her eyes in irritation. "You need to get out there, and see people, socialize. That's the only mistake I did when I separated from the family, don't do what I did," Asta explained, words repeating themselves because they've been spoken so often for the past week.

"But I did not JUST separate..." I sighed, deciding to let the matter go before she ruined the night for both of us. Eventually, I was squeezed into a lovely red mini-dress and black heels, and a black clutch to add, and was pushed out the door with eagerness, landing me in the presence of a handsome but clearly a cocky young man. He was tall, and with aryan features, and the way that he carried himself was a clear indication that he was well educated and very confident of his abilities. He'd had a reservation at a formal restaurant just in town, with a romantic little nook by the window. I wasn't exactly feeling it, though, and it probably showed on my features because he began to question my mood.

"You're probably used to more formality, what with living in Hollywood," Dave, my date began, smirking a charming smile.

"Not really," I answered coldly, seating myself when the chair was pulled out for me. When he settled across me, I continued. "It's actually more casual in Cali."

"How do you like it here?" Dave asked, relevant to the topic.

"Well, I'm not sure--"

"--I like the ocean front here, fresh and clean, the air is crisp," he had cut me off.

"That's nice." It was a timid reply to his sudden need to exclaim his own opinions. And that's when the date from hell began, with him talking about himself and his activities, about how his mother had a cat ten years ago that he would stroke before bedtime. It was all too much for me, so most of the time, I had just tuned out everything, only replying in one word comments of how nice that sounded or simply a quiet "oh". And by the time he had dropped me off back at Aunt Asta's, I was exhausted and irritable. The bed was the only sanctuary I could really enjoy at this time, now.