Snippet #1547006

Redjack screwed up his nose and waved away the last of the lingering stench of swamp gas with his hand. I've lived in this city my whole life and it never gets less disgusting. I suspect foul play. Making a smell perpetually annoying would be a petty use of magic, but knowing the people here I would not be surprised. Redjack glared at Guanicus for a moment. Redjack had dealt with many crazy people in his life, particularly in prison, and Guanicus resembled the people who were locked in the stone rooms in the basement and fed through trapdoors. Not as dangerous as the guy with skin made of scar tissue who could tear the bars off the windows and fashion it into a shiv with his teeth, but deeply unsettling. Tuning out the screaming was the worst part. Redjack needed his beauty sleep. Ah well, I've had worse employers. Like that guy with the missing fingers and the very bad information. Feeding that man his own intestines and searching his pockets was the most satisfying part of that job. Letting the pleasant memories of bloodshed and revenge drift away on the ethereal wind of nostalgia, Redjack turned his mind to more important pursuits.

Where do I sit? The dryad is attractive, certainly, but it lacks style...and nature elementals are so spiteful. thought Redjack. Images of poisoned thorns shooting out of the chair and into his tender skin quickly disabused any notion of sitting in the dryad chair. Redjack's gaze skipped over the next three chairs for the same reason. Boa constrictor? Death by strangulation. Spider? Death by poisonous bite. Minotaur? Death by being dispersed into a fine red mist on the ground. His gaze lingered on the clearly furious earth elemental, and Redjack considered sitting down and really digging his ass in before he decided he had enough enemies. Chimera? Please. That thing is a death trap! Anyone who sits there deserves being bitten into a few separate pieces. Being drawn and trisected by a chimera is not how I want to die. Redjack's gaze settled on the last chair. He grinned almost imperceptibly and plopped into the shadow-thing's lap. He glanced over his shoulder at the incorporeal face behind him and said, "I imagine you and I will get along well. We both seem to appreciate the darkness. I shall call you...Shady Samuel." Redjack turned his gaze to the wizard and waited for him to speak, occasionally darting suspicious glances at the other inhabitants of the room.