Snippet #1698410

As Cheng made sure to sit behind her, so she could hear her voice, the Dairy Queen smirked. The little girl still sounded hurt from her romp with one of her employees. Her dark lashes fell deviously low over her eyes, she was sounding bolder by the second. Did she honestly believe that the ho she had hired to dress as her was actually THE Dairy Queen? The thought made her giggle. The laughter was muffled behind a slowly elongating smile as she rested her fingers against her painted lips. They then parted to flutter with laughter. No, the only man that was worth her time was The Man himself, Ronald. She had every intention to work her way into his wallet. They already had quite the love-hate relationship. One day, he would make her his wife, and then she'd become Mrs. McDonald. She would then catch him off guard and kill him off for good. Changing McDonalds to Dairy Queen, she would triumph over the other restaurants. She would then truly be a Queen!

The Dairy Queen had the reputation of being quite the whore, but only her henchmen, herself, and perhaps the keen eyes of the clown knew the truth. The beauty saw herself as an untouchable goddess. She wouldn’t make herself vulnerable before any man. Having quieted her laughter, she returned her chin to her hand, listening to what Ronald had to say contently.

Ronald’s eyes darted to the few bosses that had piped up. He crossed his arms behind his back and parted his lips to speak when the projector cut on by itself. The light shined into his eyes, making him squint. Behind him on the screen, a man appeared with a huge smiley face for a head. He was wearing a black suit with a red tie as he sat with his arms crossed upon an office desk.

“Greetings!” the smiley-faced man said cheerfully. “This is a hello from your friendly, neighborhood Walmart! Always bringing you smiles and low prices. My, my, it’s a full house tonight. There are so many familiar faces.”

Ronald turned around to gaze at the screen with wide eyes. How the hell did that happy, scum bag get into his network? It disturbed him to think that Walmart had the power to hack his systems. Glancing to Birdie, the clown muttered, “Go to the control center and tell the McNuggets to get me a feed on this jack ass.”

Birdie nodded and swiftly left through the wooden door.

Running a hand back through his red fro, Ronald composed himself. He lowered his hands into his red trouser pockets and stared coolly up at the big smiley face.

“So, what’s the smiley-faced jack ass doing here? Curious to see how we plan to overthrow your company?” Ronald questioned.

“Overthrow my company? Oh dear, why would you ever do that? My presence is an asset for most of you: Taco Bell’s taco shells, TGI Friday’s famous artichoke dip and more, and we used to sell Panda Express’s most-desired sauce until a recent misfortune had Panda Express stop providing for us…” His smiley face turned upside down. “It was a sad day.”

Ronald turned a deep scowl over his shoulder as he regarded Panda Express, Taco Bell, and a fleeing TGI Fridays. Apparently, Fridays hadn’t closed their ties with Walmart and didn’t plan to. Whirling around, the clown watched the gangster throw open the back door.

“What’s wrong Friday? You late for somethin’?” Ronald called after him.

“Fuck you McDonald. Walmart is going to buy out all your companies. All you are finished!” Friday hollered back.

Ronald turned to Grimace. “Make sure that chicken strip doesn’t leave this mansion!”

Grimace nodded and pulling back on the slide of his fry pistol disappeared out the back door.

“I’m sorry McDonald. I don’t mean to rain on your parade but that isn’t all. Pizza the Hut has volunteered to take out my competition…”

Ronald slowly turned to the fat bastard in the corner. His teeth were bared like a wild dog. The clown looked ready to breathe fire. Pizza the Hut stared obliviously at the clown and then the other bosses who were giving him shrewd stares. Frowning angrily at the big smiley face, Pizza the Hut felt a sweat drop threatening to descend the side of his brow.

“What are you talking about, you smiley-faced punk?” he growled.

“The calzone you probably devoured by now had a special ingredient added to it. A hot and deadly ghost pepper. You may be feeling the effects soon,” said Wally.

On cue, Pizza the Hut’s belly gurgled, splurged, and moaned loudly. The pizza man’s eyes widened as he rested his chubby fingers on his rumbling gut.

“Oh my god…” Dairy Queen gasped in horror.

Wally reached into his inner coat pocket and removed a remote. Ronald looked from Pizza the Hut to Wally and felt his heart stop when his thumb came over the red button.

“So long fools!” Wally exclaimed before he broke into laughter. “You’ll regret the day you ever messed with Walmart!”

“He’s rigged to explode!” Ronald shouted.

Wally pressed the red button and a muffled explosion shook Pizza the Hut’s gut. Every mafia boss was frozen in their seats, some having attempted to dive under the conference table. Slowly, their eyes drifted to the fat man as Pizza the Hut smirked.

“Takes more than a bomb to take out The Hut!” he roared with laughter as he pat his belly, but seconds after his laughter ceased. His belly continued its disturbing noises as he then began to swell like a balloon. His apron became tight until the straps began to tear and his grease-stained shirt rode up past his deep and puckered belly-button.

“Boss!” his pizza goons shrieked.

Ronald raced over to the wooden back door. “Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to live, you’d use this door.” Without waiting any longer, the clown darted through it.