Snippet #2114773

The Sun had just come up and Jackson was waiting. He was waiting for Dastan to show his face around camp, something he noticed had been happening less and less. The mercenary was unsure if this change on the man’s behavior had to do with his fights with Indrani, of ir something else was actively wrong with him, but it was noticeable that he was not being himself lately. After a while he decided to wait by the Fire Temple entrance for the man to come out, eyes wandering towards Indrani’s tent in the distance; its entrance was sealed tightly and it suddenly looked like it had been empty for years.

“Jacks, Jacks...” One of the younger mercenaries called as he ran up to him. “Is it true? Tell me it’s not true...”
“It is.” The man confirmed heaving a sigh. “She left a letter; it says she’ll come back, if he’ll take her, but that she needs to settle her score with Sean.”
“I don’t understand why she had to leave...”
“Because...” Dastan’s voice sounded suddenly as he walked in their direction. “We just agreed on a truce with the Wolves, and if she wants to kill the Alpha she can’t be associated with the clan, or she will be violating that truce.” He explained in a casual tone, his eyes following Jackson’s towards the tent.
“She left Mirage.” Jackson pointed out, handing Dastan a sealed letter. “I’m not so sure she really plans on coming back.”
“We’ll see. Until then, you know what to do.”
“Yes Shaykh.” Jackson replied, with a simple nod of agreement as he watched his leader walk away from the camp, letter in hand.

Dastan walked away from Jackson and headed towards the area where Indrani’s home was set up, walking past the sealed tent it didn’t take him long to find a pale grey mare, smiling a bit sadly as the animal turned it head towards his footsteps somewhat eagerly and stared with what he could swear was a questioning look. “You miss her already, huh?” He asked, approaching the animal and soothingly stroking its neck. Finding a nearby rock to sit on, Dastan opened the letter the girl had left him and started to read.

My dear brother...

I write this letter in the hopes that you will find it in your heart to understand, and not hate me for what I have decided to do. I know that I was weak and selfish in my past actions, even if I thought they were the right ones. For that, I will never be able to truly forgive myself; therefore I cannot ever ask you to forgive me as well. Nothing hurts me more than to realize I let my faith in you falter after everything we lived together, after everything you taught me, after all the times we supported one another. You were, in my lifetime, a constant, supporting, and loving figure, and the one who always believed in my strength even when I was unable to believe it myself. What I did to the trust we shared as leaders and to the loving bond we shared as siblings was a despicable, unforgivable, thing. I disgraced myself that night. I disgraced my family name; and I betrayed you.

You have not made me an outcast, for which I am grateful. I’d like to believe you did so out of the kindness of your heart, although I am aware it might have also been an emotionless act of mercy, or worse; pity. Whatever the reason, I respect that decision, and please believe that I am not questioning you, or your motives, as I leave. Yes, as you probably already know, it has to do with the truce you have just decided on. No, I don’t believe you should have acted any different... I believe this truce is extremely beneficial to the clan and to this, already torn, land as a whole and that is precisely why I am disengaging myself from the clan as of this moment. I don’t want my personal feelings or foolish actions to harm the Crimson Shadows any longer and yet... This is something I feel I must do for myself. For my own peace of mind.

I wish, with all my heart, that I return safely once it’s over, but if I don’t; please remember two things:

First: This was something I decided for myself, and you need to think of the clan above it all. If I die trying, accept my failure as an honorable Death. A warrior’s Death. A consequence of War, and nothing more than that. Do not seek to ease whatever pain it causes you by retaliation. Don’t make this painful gesture of mine a meaningless one. Honor my memory that way and be the leader you and I know you can be; with or without me. I have faith in you.

Second and last, but certainly not least. I always have, still do, and always will love you above anyone and anything else. Forever and always. I know you will be well in my absence, however long it lasts, because even if I die tomorrow I will always take care of you. You will never be alone. That’s a promise.

Until we meet again, in this life or afterwards...

Your little sister...

Indrani.

Dastan read the words repeatedly and intently; his eyes darkening from their usual brown to a jet black here and there, only to soften again moments later, the shadows around him moving constantly and somewhat eagerly in response to his conflicting emotions regarding Indrani and his anger towards the situation as a whole. His own shadow had changed from a replica of his own sitting figure to a whirling pool of darkness beneath his feet, as if at any minute he could sink into the shadows and drown in them. Disappear in the darkness... It would be so easy if that’s what he wanted, but... Was it fair for him to even wish for such a thing when he had so many people depending on him? Was it fair that he be the one responsible for so many live in the first place? Did fairness even matter anyway?

Sighing wearily and closing his eyes, Dastan turned his face towards the light of the Sun, allowing its warmth to drown out his bitter feelings and give him some, probably foolish, notion of comfort. He needed to pull himself together and not break further apart. He needed to pull himself together somehow and be the leader he was expected to be.

[Flashback - White Shadow’s Camp, 8 years ago]

“I haven’t told anyone. I’m afraid to, even though... I question my sanity, and I question it constantly. What if something like that happens again? I don’t even recall what I have done, but the... Blood... I’ll never forget waking up covered in all that blood... I’m not... A violent guy. Not like that... I...” Dastan hid his face in his hands and let out a choked whimper. “And now these nightmares... I don’t want to die like my father. I know you tried to help him, tell me what I can do, if there’s even something...”

Lena sighed slightly as she watched the mercenary leader and caught the fear and doubt in his expression. “Hm... I see... Well... You’re not going insane, per se. What you are experiencing; the whispering, the nightmares, the blackouts... Your gift causes these side effects. Remember when I explained to you that your shadow becomes alive as a severed part of your personality? That personality doesn’t disappear when you dispel the shadow-golem, it continues to exist inside your mind. It doesn’t always happen with shadow manipulators, the golem is usually only an imprint of the caster’s personality, responding in a similar manner than he, or she, would. In some rare cases, such as your father’s and now yours, the golem’s personality splits from the caster’s, which is not necessarily a problem if the caster is aware and careful in how and when to cast his shadow. Nighttime is when your ability is more powerful, but it is also when you suffer the greatest risk of losing control.” She sighed. “Dastan, there is no... There is no guarantee that this will not take control of you one day. There are things you can do to manage this, and nothing says you will lose control, but... Your father was as careful as one could be, in the end, he just wasn’t strong enough. If you don’t want to hurt anyone, I suggest you confide in someone. As your father did his Commander. If he hadn’t, then you wouldn’t be alive today.”

Dastan shook his head. “Maybe it would have been better, no? I wouldn’t have to worry about waking up to find I’ve killed people I care about. And I don’t understand... I thought my enlightenment didn’t work in complete darkness.”
“‘Shadows’, as defined by the myths, is an element that fills the spaces where light cannot get through... Darkness is made of shadows... Your enlightenment won’t work because light is what gives shadows dimensions your mind is capable of measuring. See, just as with any other element; the more of it there is, the harder it is to manipulate it. In time, if you work for it, you will be able to use your ability in the full darkness, but I’d suggest you to never cast your own shadow in such a scenario. That would be terribly dangerous.”

Dastan nodded, running one hand through his hair and giving the woman the most confident look he could manage. “Alright... Tell me what I should do.”

[Reality - Desert, present time]

“Shaykh! Can you hear me? Are you alright?”

The voices grew louder and louder and Dastan mentally begged them to let him sleep some more, someone was shaking him forcefully as if in a panic and finally, as he senses began to kick in he realized he’d been lying in the warm sand. A grunt escaped the mercenary and whoever it was trying to wake him became less frantic at his response. Slowly he lifted his head and opened his eyes to find himself in the middle of the training arena, a quick look around showed why the mercenary trying to wake him seemed so frightened... The training dummies were wrecked, and several training swords were parted in half, scattered across the ground. Sitting up, Dastan noticed his whole body ached, but otherwise, he didn’t even remember walking the small distance from where he had been sitting to the arena.

“What happened?” He mumbled.

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[The Manor]

“Luckas... Shut up and tell me who did this to you!” Ezekiel scolded, glaring at the laughing man laying in the infirmary bed; sword still pierced through him. He had been laughing like an idiot when Adam found him lying in front of the gates.
Luckas forced himself to stop, looked up at Ezekiel, took a long deep breath... And exploded in another fit of giggles.
“SHUT UP!” Ezekiel shouted, losing his patience completely.
“Do not shout in here.” A woman in blue scolded as she entered the room, walked past Ezekiel, yanked the sword out and placed both hands over the wound until it was fully healed. Afterwards she simply exited without another word, not really paying the ‘patient’ and his ridiculous fit of laughter.
“Luckas...” Ezekiel growled at him.
“Hah... Hahahah... How... Heh... How... Do you expect me to shut up and then tell you anything? It’s not... Heh... Possible!” He played, rolling over and nearly falling off the bed in his amusement. Laughing twice as hard when Ezekiel grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, nearly choking him in the process. Eventually he stopped again, this time actually taking a serious tone as he replied. “I’m a big boy, Zeke... I don’t need anyone hunting down my attackers, I can do that myself, if I wish to. Now...” He firmly planted his feet on the ground and worked his way out of the man’s grip. “If you excuse me... I believe I was on my way to the city.”
“You don’t leave without Amber... Mistress’ orders.” Zeke replied.
Luckas sighed, but didn’t reply as he walked past the man out of the sick ward, Amber meeting with him just down the hall... Today looking like an eighteen year old, redhead... boy. Luckas was undeniably bothered by this, but decided that it was best not to say so. “New look, huh? Not my type.”
“Right back at you.” The ‘boy’ replied, tugging on his bloody, and punctured, coat.
“I like it, personally... All black sometimes can become a bit bothersome.”
Amber let out a ridiculously girlish giggle considering her appearance and nodded in agreement to his comment, somewhat bouncing as 'he' made his way towards the main entrance a bit ahead of him.

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[White Shadows’ Camp]

Annie had decided to sleep shortly after meeting with Crys, but as she entered her tent she found the book Sean had left her and ended up reading it for great part of the night, and writing in it on the remaining part. During that period she was constantly updated on the state of Isaac, Alistair, Pondus and others, as well as informed of Crys’ departure, only a little bit later than she said she would be leaving. Annie hoped that her trip was a safe and uneventful one.

Because of those things and more, she was resting when someone came to tell her someone was looking for. The man didn’t say more than that and seemed slightly shocked. Annie followed the man to where a redheaded woman was waiting. Annie looked a bit surprised at the woman’s state, but not as shocked as the other healers. She had noted that the woman had punctured an artery and was bleeding quite a bit. Raising an eyebrow at the seemingly oblivious bleeder, who she had never seen in her life but was asking for her for whatever reason, she walked towards the woman and casually made use of her enlightenment to handle her wound. After which she opened a curious smile and spoke. “I hear you have been looking for me? I’m Annie, and you are...?”