- It's a job. It's a job. It's a job. Chandler's silent mantra, her own secret weapon against falling apart at the chaos of the industry, was, for the first time, failing her. Of all the people to be paired up with... She had the nobody. She couldn't stand it. She brushed her fingers along Robert's arm as she passed him on her way out, purposely going around the table provided to signal her displeasure. She would get him later; he would understand the message the gentle feeling of nails on skin delivered. She walked out as a woman with a mission, an unpleasant mission, but one she would handle nevertheless.
For once, she didn't want to work; normally, Chandler enjoyed getting to know her character, analyze them until she could rip them to pieces. It was fun, learning the ins and outs of people she would never be, never wanted to be. She liked to work hard, and she liked to be successful. But if that meant associating with the Great Nobody of the XOXO cast, she would rather procrastinate. Instead, she moved to the porch again, having found a kindred spirit in the dispassionate seat she had claimed for herself. What were with all these pairings? It was as if Robert Mann knew just how to catch them off guard, as if he did it all of this on purpose. It was almost suspicious how neatly everything fell into chaos, but as much as Chandler wanted to find a reason to find something wrong with his homework assignment, it had all made sense. Everything was predictable in a show like XOXO, but still - the canniness of all the assignments and pairings going against their real personalities and relationships was unsettling.
But it was work, and work was work, and it paid the bills. Chandler sighed and kept her eyes on the ocean, feeling sure that no one would think to look for her right now. Work was hard, sometimes. Everything about the industry reminded her of Jesse, especially Robert Mann. How often had Jesse talked to her of his brilliance? Of how he found just the right way to turn the mundane around, bring something special out of something made common in Hollywood? Every time Chandler looked at Robert, she could hear Jesse's voice: "He's going to make it big, Chandler! And so are you. So are you." It was strange; she could remember his voice so clearly, the rough tenor, the violent tremor that hinted at his demise. But she couldn't picture his face. She could only recall large, overworked hands... shaggy dark hair... eyes as black as her nightmares. But it didn't add up.
She didn't want to remember, but she did. Everyday, she did. Finding out her baby was dead, that the baby had been a boy. If he had been a girl, Chandler probably wouldn't have wanted him; she couldn't stand the gender, though she belonged to it herself. But a boy could go anywhere he wanted, a boy could really change the world. Or perhaps this was her bias talking. Either way, the loss had taken a piece of her, the last salvageable bit of her soul. And here she was, already the bitch of the house, disliked by many, appreciated by few. She was used to being alone, being lonely, but she was unaccustomed to feeling it. There was something about the ocean that reminded you of the past. It drew you in and spit you out because you simply did not have the gumption it demanded.
Ah, well. She was Chandler Lamonte, after all. She was famous, wealthy beyond belief, and completely stunning. Successful and coveted by all who didn't know any better - what more could she ask for? She adjusted her position and crossed her legs, leaning on her knees with her elbows. Her eyebrows furrowed as she focused on the horizon, searching for some kind of secret. She really didn't know what she was doing; she just wanted to think for a bit. Be alone. Maybe after, she'd summon enough willpower to talk to a loser like Danny Crankshaw.