Snippet #2445640

[Raven’s Nest, 12 days after Castle Ball]

Luckas had tried to do some good stalking to occupy his time, but as he had suspected, it was somewhat troubling for him to go unnoticed with Tala hanging around. Not only that; but he couldn’t seem to actually find the Captain and there was really nothing else he could think of to entertain himself without causing trouble. He thought about chasing Beast Boy around and maybe mess with him, but changed his mind when he remembered how things went down last time he was face to face with him. It was quite possible that would end in even more trouble than simply causing trouble, so he let it go... For the time being, at least. So he did what he said he’d do in the first place, and just walked aimlessly for a bit; thoughts wandering freely through the ever-growing list of doubts in his mind, only occasionally allowing himself to focus on his surroundings to listen and pinpoint the sound of the wolf still following after him. He ended his walk when he found himself in his usual spot by the oak; seeing no one else around and not quite sure how long he’d walked or how long he’d have to wait.

Essence took her sweet time, stepping in short strides, dragging her heels lazily behind her. She was still smiling, pausing suddenly to hop to her left and then her right, spinning on her toes so that her curls flew out straight before burying her face. It took even longer for her to reach her tent, swaying her hips with every step, her arms appearing to float by her side as she danced to her own humming. A few hushed words were made audible here and there, but nothing that would make much sense to the onlooker. She appeared somewhat intoxicated; free and uncaring for a few moments. It was something she was not use to feeling as her mind was blissfully quiet, even with bits of her previous conversation with Jake trying to pierce through. Ess had spent more time than not, always worried about disappointing that boy. In life. In death. Not many people she held in such high regard so that she was truly frightened of them turning on her one day, and yet, even after all this time, her best friend was true to his words. Now, she was more curious what kinds of things he would ask her if he indeed read through her entire journal. It would be almost like looking into her mind as Luckas had once, except there was much even she still denied to write down. More like secrets she hadn’t even admitted to herself because she was afraid of a change of heart. Ess twirled again, her gaze staring up into the sky where she paused when she caught the glint of firelight from her camp, happy the flames were still going. Toning down her dancing a bit she grew louder in her singing. Simple sounds of vowels with no particular words spoken carried her closer. Ess felt like she was telling a story, but about what, she couldn’t know for sure; she simply remembered it was something her father use to sing when she was sad.

Luckas had been resting against the oak tree, eyes closed, not really minding his surroundings much as he waited. He didn’t know how long he’d been there, but he was pretty sure he’d been there longer in other occasions, he didn’t mind the wait at all. Only when he noticed Tala wandering off that he opened his eyes to look around. Didn’t take long for him to spot Ess making her way towards the camp, and seeming quite content. Jumping to his feet, Luckas walked in her direction with a somewhat childish curiosity showing on his face as he questioned, in a playful tone. “All that cheerfulness better be for seeing me, otherwise I might just have to throw another jealous fit.”

Ess’ eyes lit up, a silvery twinkle glittered in her stare when she saw Luckas approach. Absently she greeted Tala, her fingers sifting through the wolf’s fur, but she didn’t stop her approach, still skipping a bit here and there. Tilting her head, her eyes closed, a mischievous smile peeking from behind her curls. “..Has to be ‘All’ for you, aye? Well...I’d be lying if I said the idea of you hanging out to see me, doesn’t make me smile.” Her tone went to a slightly higher pitch in her amusement. “But, if your jealous fits are all like that one earlier...I’ll be honestly disappointed for future encounters....” Ess shrugged, pausing inches away from Luckas, leaning in curiously with a wink. “Besides, you want my attention, just say so.” When she turned her head, feathery like curls brushing against Luke’s face. Ess knelt beside the fire, adding some wood to the flames. Earlier she had skinned a rabbit; taking the heart, kidneys, and liver to cook in a pot for Tala while she leaned the hare across two mini pikes above the flames. It was about time to turn the roasting meat, her fingers sprinkling something unseen across the darkened flesh before turning back to Luckas, brushing her hands off along her pants. “Oh...come now...I hope you aren’t jealous of...well..Jake? It’s...different...” Ess stopped talking, shaking her head and just smiled at her friend.

Luckas snickered, even more amused than he already had been, tilting his head as he replied. “I’d hate to be a disappointment Lady, I’ll make sure to improve my hissy fits for future occasions.” He said, playfully raising his right hand as if taking an oath. “And well...” He forced a little cough to clear his throat. “Not all...” He grinned, leaving the sentence incomplete and just taking a seat, absently glancing towards the food as if it somehow gave him a bright idea, but not voicing whatever it was. “I’m sure I’ve mentioned it at some point... You’ll know it when I’m truly jealous. It’s not a pretty sight, I’d say.”

Ess sat before the fire, chuckling at Luckas’ words. “No...I’m sure it’s not pretty to see you truly jealous....but at the same time...” Her fingers reached behind her neck, gently massaging the sore muscles as she continued, but not finishing her sentence. “So...this...opportune time you had to...kill Jake...when was that?” Her eyes were kind as she searched to find Luckas, keeping her head still, trying to remedy the stiffness along her neck. Ess went on as if she didn’t care for his answer, when she really did but mostly out of curiosity. “I meant what I said you know...a while back...about being ok with you not telling me about Jake.” Ess sighed, her fingers temporarily tangled in her curls. “I think....it would have made things crazier than they got...and I may have not believed you...even though that sounds silly..”

Luckas tensed only slightly at Ess’ questions about killing Jake, he remembered exactly how that day just kept getting worse, it made him frown momentarily before giving a small shrug and answer. “Was after Lena died, after I left here...” He cleared his throat again, fixing his gaze on the roasting rabbit. “Jake kind of ambushed me in front of her grave and we had a little... Uh... Discussion.” Luckas ended his explanation at that and quickly moved to the next subject. “I figured you wouldn’t believe me... And I’d have to show you... And that would’ve been bad... That’s mostly why Lena didn’t tell though, my reasons were... only partially that.” He smirked a bit to himself, scratching the back of his head and absently tugging on the collar of his shirt as if trying to stretch it slightly.

“I know Luckas....I know...but gee how many bloody ‘discussions’ you plan on having with friends of mine?” Essence slowly shook head trying to hide the amusement in her face. “Crys is a friend...does that mean you’re going to have a ‘conversation’ with her too now?” She teased, thinking about where to find her and how to go about her attempt in helping Jake in his hole he dug himself. She was quiet for a time, occasionally rotating the rabbit over the flames, her smile fading while thinking over Jacob’s story about Cry’s mom. “...Poor...Jakey...” She whispered to herself before speaking louder. “...He’s got much to talk about with that girl...I just hope I can help give him that chance...” Ess stretched, pulling the pot of innards off the fire to cool for her wolf, before glancing back at Luckas. “..We know some things...are just best heard from those involved...some things are just not our business, right Luckas? I could only imagine being her and hearing certain things....lets say..from me...wouldn’t be appropriate...” Clearing her throat, she added with a giggle. “..I want to liiive.”

Luckas frowned slightly, an annoyed expression on his face. “I didn’t plan anything, was just minding my business... He started it... He always starts it...” Letting out a little snort he muttered. “And wasn’t even that bloody this time.” Resting his arms on his knees and leaning onto them, Luckas tilted his head curiously at the sudden mention of Crys. He snickered softly. “Oh, so we’re helping Jake, are we?” He shrugged. “I owe Crys one coin... or at least a drink... I said I’d repay her. I don’t see how that would end in a discussion. Besides... That woman is the last person in Valcrest I’d want to have a ‘discussion’ with, Lady. She’s scary... Like the Captain, but more scary.” He faked a little frightened shudder, before laughing softly. “You’d be surprised at how good I am at not saying... Certain things.” A trace of a sigh escaped him as he muttered under his breath. “Way too good, sometimes.”

Essence rolled her eyes, a soft laugh bouncing along her shoulders. “...Things tend to work out better when not planned anyways, no? Besides, it takes two, Luckas...you can’t put blame all onto one..somehow I doubt you didn’t have a hand in it all, but I digress.” Another laugh blurted out from her, “Ha! I believe you Luckas...in your chosen restraint depending on the circumstances...All has to do with what we ‘want’, yes? Sometimes...just sometimes, words or actions will escape us in heightened emotion, even if it is something subconsciously we are trying to hide. I’m sure you’ve seen plenty examples of such...” A random yawn cut off her current thought, her amused smile disappearing when darkened ideas clouded her violet gaze. Her mind was scattered, jumping from one thing to the next; it was unclear to why the sudden change in her expression except that her mind was always on the go and to be without some hefty burden weighing down upon her would be anything short of a miracle. Remaining silent, she reached for her dagger along her boot, freeing it from it’s sheath so she could dip the blade into a pot of boiling water before slicing up the cooked organs for Tala. Ess didn’t even say a word and the wolf was sitting quietly by her side, long shoelace like drool dripping towards the ground in anticipation.

Luckas snorted a bit. “Well, yes, but I’ve done my share of taking it... Even my patience has its limits, Lady.” He retorted, stubbornly refusing to take as much blame for anything as he obviously should; especially this. He didn’t insist on the subject any more than that, however. It was pretty much pointless, and he’d really rather think about anything else. He went silent for a moment or so, simply watching Ess with curious eyes, but then he started mumbling things under his breath here and there, not audibly enough to make out any actual words. “Heightened emotion...” He whispered, as he ended whatever ramblings he had going and fell completely silent, a small frown forming itself as he was clearly still thinking over something. Finally he seemed to come to some conclusion and spoke up. “You said... Jake is like your brother... What does that mean exactly?” He asked, seeming a bit confused. “I mean... You’re not related, and he’s not literally like your brother, and I think you probably wouldn’t want that all things considered, so... What’s it supposed to mean exactly?”

Ess’ tension soften slightly when she heard Luckas speak Jake’s name. She was still silent when she dropped diced liver and kidneys into a dish for Tala, whom inhaled the steaming morsels in seconds, happily. It had not dawned on her how her comparing Jake to a brother would cause Luckas to question her until that moment, her expression now remorseful. “...Well...Jake is most obviously not like my REAL brother in that he is not related or the fact he is nothing like that bastard Ian who betrayed... not just me, but himself..” Ess groaned, shaking her head. “Simply, Jake was my first and only friend for a long time. Both him and his sister accepted me for who I was and helped me realize the bull Ebony was trying to brainwash me with.” Sighing, she lazily slashed at the hind leg of the rabbit, the dagger cutting through so easily, for a moment it didn’t appear it had even touched the meat. Ess lightly tugged at the leg, tossing it on a pewter plate and handing it off to Luckas. “..He was the first boy, even as a child, who looked at me and saw something more...he looked up to me and it gave me a responsibility and strength to escape and better myself. To know I deserved it, was one of the hardest things I’ve faced in my life.” Ess cleared her throat. “That boy loves me in a manner that is innocent and...untainted by the normal lustful natures of men I am accustomed to. That is why he is like my brother.” Ess looked over at Luckas and smiled. “Family, doesn’t have to be in blood. Family is suppose to be trust, unconditional love and respect. No matter what, we will always have each other’s backs.”

“Hmm...” Luckas mumbled, looking down at the plate in his hands but ignoring the food completely. He couldn’t honestly say he understood, because he didn’t quite, but then he’d rather not mention he didn’t understand exactly. Finally he sighed and said what he thought he could safely say. “He’s what your real brother should’ve been... Then...” He frowned again for a moment, mentally scolding himself for being so soft all of a sudden; not long ago, something like this wouldn’t be enough to make killing someone out of the question. “So... What about your real brother... Have you... Heard anything?” Luckas changed the subject, somewhat, with the question, thinking it was best to ask it before saying anything else. Waiting for an answer he took a bite of his food and quietly chewed on it.

“He’s what your real brother should’ve been... Then...”

“...Exactly...” Ess breathed, her fingers raking through her curls repeatedly, in deep thought. Turning back towards the rabbit she sliced off a leg for herself, absently wiping at a stray tear that lingered along her lashes. Sitting down, Ess spent more time shredding the rabbit meat with her dagger than actually eating it, Luckas’ question hovering over her head. “Rumors...mostly...that and stories of....” Ess sighed, tossing some of the meat to Tala, not finishing her sentence. “Captain said she’s got some leads on some...concerns she has agreed to look into...I figured if Ian..” She twitched, a look of disgust for having to speak the name in her eyes. “...He may know more about the type of...underground business I was stolen into..and rumors are that it’s still very much alive.” Ess gripped her dagger and brutally stabbed at the rabbit carcass above the fire, leaving the blade embedded. “...That and I hear whispers of children disappearing...but no...nothing really on Ian’s location...I may just start blindly searching through Valcrest if I don’t hear anything soon...I feel like there’s something or someone I’m suppose to find.” Ess chuckled awkwardly. “Maybe it’s just myself.”

Luckas sighed, chewing on the rabbit meat for a bit longer than needed before swallowing hard, a little sigh escaping him as he took one more bite and again took his time with chewing. And then one more. After which he decided there was really not an easy way to go about this. “I... May... Know...” He mumbled simply. “I don’t think you’d want to go after him now though... I mean... It might not be the case to...” He groaned, trying to explain the best he could while not giving away the actual problem; which proved quite difficult. “It’s a bad idea. There’s things he’s mixed up in.”

Ess dropped her plate, Tala lapping up the fallen meat. Listening to Luckas, she hadn’t really paid attention to her own reaction, simply staring at her friend curiously. “You...may know? Well..I wouldn’t leave RIGHT now, my Dear Luckas..but what have you found out? How did you come across information? Have you seen him?” Ess took in a deep breath, her smile apologetic. “...Well, that is why I need to find him, Luckas. If he’s a part of things I should know about it to at least relay to the Captain, I need to find him.” Ess snarled as she breathed in , “He won’t be mixed up in anything for too much longer once I find him, anyways. I mean...what makes a difference if I go after him later? He will still be mixed up in things and if I can tone down the damage, I feel a bit of responsibility to do so. It’s always going to be dangerous...” Ess paused quirking a brow. “Why are you trying to disway me? Do you not want to have fiery fun?”

Luckas lowered his eyes completely, seeming to struggle against his own thoughts as he mumbled under his breath. “Nothing will ever be this dangerous, Lady.” Raising his head to meet Ess’ eyes he nodded. “I always want my fun, but I know you, Lady... You’re emotionally driven, as you yourself say, and if I tell you where he is you’ll want to hunt him down as soon as possible. It does make a difference; if you go after him later, it will be safer, I can see to it given enough time. This is... Bigger than you can understand.” He set down his plate, not feeling hungry anymore.

Ess held back a groan of frustration, taking a deep breath as she worked to keep her cool. Her smile tightened as she spoke, her tone still gentle. “...True...that’s pretty obvious what I will do with the information once given to me...but why do you get to make that decision for me?” She stood, moving closer to Luckas before kneeling so she was looking up at him, her hand resting lightly upon his arm. “Luckas...I understand this goes beyond just me and that’s why it’s so important. If you know something, you can’t just tease me like that and not say anything.”

“Sometimes Lady, you’re just too close to the picture to actually see it.” Luckas stated, sighing and looking away from her again with a frown. “I’m not deciding anything, I’m just... It’s not worth it... You shouldn’t go back there now.” He argued, standing up and moving a few steps away, a small frustrated growl escaping him. “If I tell you, will you wait?”

Essence was quiet for a moment, the light from her eyes flashing brightly as she stood back on her feet. She was beginning to lose her patience, feeling as if secrets were being kept and as if she were being treated like a child. “....Not....WORTH it?” Ess began, her voice taking on an icy, mocking edge. “Really....ok fine...lets put it this way. You can tell me or not tell me, but I’m going to act on it sooner than later. Giving me information will only help in my apparent ignorance, but I can make due without...always have.” Turning her back, she took another deep breath, her fist clenching as her hand rose to retrieve the blade within the rabbit, cleaning it off before placing it safely in her boot. At this point, she couldn’t hold still and began randomly cleaning, moving things around, adding wood to the fire; anything to keep her busy as she tried not to flip out at her friend.

“You speak as if I’m trying to take this from you.” Luckas said, a genuinely upset note in his voice. “Trust me, I understand how important this is, and I still say it’s not worth the risk. Is it too much to ask that you trust me with this? You’ll have all the answers eventually, I promise.” He paused just for a second as if trying to assimilate what exactly he was promising here. “I’ll tell you where he is, right now, if you promise you’ll wait.”

Essence felt her chest tighten, her breathing coming in shorter bursts as she continued to work to keep control. Emotionally driven... She thought to herself, but the woman couldn’t help it. Ess was torn at Luckas’ words on trust. “...You don’t understand...why it is worth the risk to me. What I don’t understand is why? You sound like you know more than just where Ian is, Luckas.” Ess picked up a block of wood and literally threw it into the fire. “I do trust you Luckas, but isn’t that the problem? Weren’t you the one who told me once that no one really trusts anyone? Maybe it’s you who doesn’t trust me.” The woman began to pace, anger clearly now painted upon her porcelain features and as it grew, hot tears formed behind her violet eyes. When she spoke, her tone was soft again, but shaky. “....Fine....I promise to wait....arguing like this will clearly not get us anywhere, and you obviously brought it up with the intention of giving me some sort of information...so ok.” Ess stopped, letting her legs give way as she gracefully sat cross legged upon the ground, resting her head in her hands, fingers tugging upon her curls, pulling the hair painfully along her scalp. She didn’t show any change in her expression, as she thought to herself, the only thing she did understand was not rushing into a situation where she gave herself no escape. She was at least sensible enough to plan ahead for that.

Luckas sighed. “Don’t I understand?” He muttered, but didn’t say anything more on that particular matter. “I know a bit more, but there are things I just can’t say right now... If you recall, I said... I still have promises left to keep. They involve... Not saying certain things for now.” He sighed softly yet again. “What I said... Is that people don’t trust because trust can’t be real when there’s doubt. Just because someone doesn’t tell you all their secrets, that doesn’t mean you’re not trusted, Lady. If you doubt their motives, then maybe you’re the one who lacks the ability to trust.” He shrugged his shoulders slightly. “Do you think I trust you?” He asked simply, with a little smirk, not giving her room to reply as he continued. “I saw him in Blackpond a while back. And some other place just out of the city some time before that.”

Ess didn’t move as Luckas spoke, mumbling under her breath here and there, “..Promises to who I wonder...” She sighed, “I assume you are meaning Lena...fine..I can respect promises...but don’t think I understand any better right now...” Ess meant it; she didn’t understand and she felt that was maybe why she was so unsure of what Luckas was saying and what he knew. She still felt no danger around him, and that was enough to calm her slightly when she thought how much she did actually trust him. Ess began to feel slightly guilty, especially when she reminded herself that he actually did care about her: ...."I like you... I care... I hate myself for it sometimes, but I can't help it. Is that what you wanted me to say, Lady? Is that what you need?"

Even with the memory, she still couldn’t be sure if Luckas did trust her, but perhaps that was her own self, doubting. Her fingers clenched even tighter along her scalp when he spoke of where Ian was seen and where she could most likely find him. It made sense. “..All the way back to the beginning...” She whispered, ignoring her own annoyance when she noted how Luckas said he saw him ..a while back.., not wanting to think more on it and the fact it was more information he knew about, keeping to himself . Even if the reasons were justified, even if it was so dangerous she didn’t comprehend, the idea would anger her in being left in the dark, so she simply sat in silence and nodded.
Luckas nodded thinking he maybe shouldn’t have said anything at all and this was bad idea, but it was a bit late for that now. It was stupid to even mention things he knew he couldn’t talk about and raise questions he wasn’t able to, or prepared, to answer. He could imagine how frustrating it is to have someone ask for your trust without being able to give anything back, he knew the feeling well, actually, if he thought about it. “I’m sorry, Lady... Maybe it would’ve been smarter of me to say nothing until the situation becomes more... Calm. I considered it, even. I guess I’m not as good at keeping things to myself as I should.” He scratched the back of his head a bit nervously and added. “Are you mad? You want me to go?”

Essence didn’t answer Luckas. She stood up, finally releasing her hair, the pain slowly fading as she once again went for her dagger and placed it by the fire with her sword. Purposely, she stared at Luckas then the weapons at her feet and began walking away, hoping the point would get across that she wasn’t going anywhere, especially without her weapons, but she couldn’t sit there any longer. Ess spoke softly, her voice cracking, “...Why do you ask questions to things you already know the answer to....sweetness....I need to go for a run or something...I’ll be back shortly.” Ess didn’t even wait for a response as she motioned for Tala to stay and took off in an urgent sprint, appearing as if she was trying to escape something. In a way, she was, but when it was an enemy she couldn’t yet face, she knew the anger would continue to eat at her until she acted. She didn’t plan on breaking her promise, per se. Ess would wait. Ess smiled as she disappeared into the darkness, knowing the run would help keep her leveled, at least until morning.

Essence indeed was not gone for long; maybe thirty minutes. She kept to her usual path, the same as her morning routine, except she paused a little ways from Jake’s camp. Spotting a light inside the tent she simply stared, trying to think of what she was going to do in the coming days. A part of her wanted to crawl beside her friend and cling to him for comfort while at the same time she did not wish to bring up anything that had to do with Luckas. She just couldn’t be sure how Jake would react exactly, but she knew he most likely would not approve. With a sigh, she turned on her heels and jogged back to Luckas. Coming to a stop was not as graceful this time but instead she collapsed upon the ground staring up at the stars, all traces of aggravation gone from her face even when she still felt it gnawing at her insides. Again she was silent, working to catch her breath before attempting to eat some dinner once more.

Luckas raised an eyebrow, watching silently as Ess wandered off before shrugging and mumbling under his breath. “I don’t.” After which he went to sit by the oak, leaning against the tree and crossing his arms over his chest as if preparing for a somewhat long wait. Heaving a sigh he muttered. “That surely went well... Still no broken bones...” He snickered softly, closing his eyes and allowing himself to drift off for the moment. Again he snickered, remembering how Lena would tease him by saying only the guilty sleep... Luckas couldn’t say he’d lost much sleep in his life. Only two occasions would come to mind where he’d been unable to sleep, maybe those were the only two occasions where his conscience had bothered him, or maybe there was another, less profound, reason; he wasn’t sure.

Luckas wasn’t sure if he had slept, if he’d been there for hours or minutes, if he had any particular thought or dreams in that time... Nothing. His wait was a blur, a stupor he snapped out of the moment he caught the sounds of movement in the camp again, sitting up to look at Ess for a moment or so, before leaning back against the tree again, still glancing at her with only one open eye. “You said... Children are disappearing?” He asked casually, as if talking about the weather or some other meaningless topic. “Where did you hear that?”

Essence was able to eat more than she thought before Luckas began asking his questions. She couldn’t help but think of herself and found the question’s answer nothing new but something that hadn’t changed for quite some time. “....What, you haven’t heard the rumors Luckas?” She retorted with a certain amount of faked shock in her tone, yet her eyes were lacking emotion. “...Children have been disappearing since before my time...some things just don’t change.” Ess sighed with annoyance, quite loud and almost childish as she dragged it out. “ People always talk, and maybe I didn’t pay as much close attention as I should, but the rumors all have a similar story.” She specifically had heard some haunting tales more recently but kept the origin of those to herself, not finding it so important. “...Children, Luckas...boys and girls all young...under the age of ten...from Blackpond, the countryside....I even heard a story about a man working to settle his debt with some nasty people, and gave up his two little girls in exchange.” There came back the emotion into Ess’ eyes, so intense that she could not even pretend to play off how much it bothered her, most certainly reminding her of herself. She almost choked on some food, pausing to drink from a flask at her side. “..Rumors...stories...Luckas...because if there were more than a few people able to show proof, the Captain would take this group who are starving for action and those people would be presented with such a bloody reckoning, the Twins would cry out in fear. At least..” She glanced over at Luckas, a curious, almost hungry glower at the idea created such a wicked smile, she gave herself shivers. “...at least...not yet...but soon...soon enough..”

Again she fell quiet, chewing her food quickly to push in as much as possible before she felt full. “Children..” She muttered to herself, suddenly her mind’s focus shifted some. “Luckas...did you ever figure out or remember who the man in the basement was? It’s just, you haven’t brought up anything about yourself in some time and I never found out how you were doing after all our arguing and you wigging out over Twins knows what.” Ess’ smile softened. “You know you can talk to me if you want....” Her words fell into a whisper. “If..you want..”

“Children.” Luckas muttered, a dark shade of red lighting up his eyes. “No I haven’t... It was supposed to have stopped... Was supposed to be over...” He trailed off, staring intently at nothing, with a look of pure hatred in his eyes. If this was what he thought it was, someone better give him some answers or things would get ugly really fast. For a long time he sat with that angered look in his eyes before finally snapping out of it, taking a deep calming breath before speaking. “Oh, I remember everything.” He answered, taking another long breath and closing his eyes as he continued. “I don’t know who that man was though, in particular... I wasn’t... Allowed to look at them. I would recognize voices, maybe, but I’m not sure. What I discovered was that... My father was killed, and my...” He let out an angry snort before forcing out the word. “Mother... She gave Matthew and I away, allegedly in return for the man who killed him. She’s... Still alive somewhere... For the moment at least.” He snickered. “As for the rest of them... I’m working on it... I know the man behind it all is dead, has been for a while now. If there was really justice in this world I would’ve found him alive, but can’t always get my way, right?”

Essence couldn’t ignore the change in Luckas’ voice if she even tried, the familiar, distinct distaste of betrayal and anger in his words. She hadn’t responded to much that he said except by moving closer towards him, leaning also against the Oak with still a good amount of space between them, enough to still see him without turning. “...I’m sorry Luckas...I’m sorry that it appears we have more in common than we could have ever imagined.” Her own anger stirred inside her, like fire burning through her veins when she thought about how her friend had endured a somewhat similar childhood. Both their fathers died; she was stolen and he was given away. Both were abused and still walked around with the after effects of whatever unimaginable things those people had tried to brainwash into them. She knew the fear and loneliness that he must have felt; if he still did, she couldn’t read him that way but didn’t change the fact she saw it in him. Closing her eyes she again saw the sad smile from her dreams and when she opened them, they glowed, a small, chilling, chuckle sifted through the air as Luckas finished speaking. “No...we can’t always get our way...but I promise you...if you need anything from me, I will gladly help you. You know this, right?” A sickening thought lingered in the back of her brain, one which she was trying to discredit; to give a reason to doubt it but the idea nagged at her. Finally she whispered, a hint of awkwardness in her words as if speaking her idea out loud would indeed make it true. “Luckas...my Dear, Dear Luckas...do you think....it’s all connected?” Surprisingly saying it out loud made her feel a bit better, her breaths coming slower and more easily, as if she was being smothered and suddenly someone ripped a pillow from her face to breathe. “I mean...what if it is connected to the rumors...what if you and I are connected...” Her words flowed rapidly, drifting off into incoherent mumbles, her mind racing to find some sort of answers. The ideas that ran rampant in her head did not ease her nerves, again thinking of her brother. Ess knew she wouldn’t wait long. “Still alive somewhere...for the moment at least..”

Luckas sighed, a bit of amusement crossing him as he glanced at her. “Don’t be sorry Lady, there are worse people to have things in common with. Don’t you think?” He asked in an honestly curious tone. “Better than not having anything in common with anyone, I’d say.” He lowered his head until his forehead touched his knees and he was curled up into a ball. “I know, I can count on you, Lady... If I need anything. I won’t forget.” He kept quiet, with his head down, lost in his own thoughts until Ess asked him if he thought it was all connected. At which point he lifted his head and turned to face her. “Isn’t it a fact that you and I are connected?” He asked, raising an eyebrow and smiling rather playfully. Thinking a bit on an actual answer, he shrugged. “I don’t know Lady... Not even sure if I have much of an opinion. I do know that the White Shadows believe, and Lena often told me, that in Valcrest everything is connected in some way. Something to do with the Myths, as usual, but I’m not sure why exactly they believe that... The most I can say I believe is that it’s possible.”

Ess snickered, “Having worse things in common with one another or others I’m sure is up for debate.” Playfully giving Luckas a poke in the side she laughed. “You best not forget it...even if you don’t need something, don’t be afraid to ask...or to just tell me how it is.” Standing up, she reached out and ruffled up Luckas’ hair, before moving towards her tent to bunk down for the night. “I know there’s a connection between us, Luckas..what I meant was more...if ..” Ess shook her head trailing off as she snuggled down into her bed, still in the same clothes and boots, not feeling like she could sleep but shutting her eyes all the same knowing she needed it. “..No nightmares tonight, please...” She whispered to herself as Tala nestled up beside her in the usual spot, leaving quite a bit of room for Luckas.

Luckas nodded quietly, only half listening as Ess spoke, still going over what he had just heard and what he thought he knew. The serious expression returning to him as he thought. “Trust... Doubt...” He mumbled to himself, shaking his head before finally giving up on making sense of things and going to try and get some sleep as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Essence awoke in complete darkness, the light from the fire dwindling down hours ago, a dull aching pinching between her eyes. Her face was half buried beneath her pile of pillows and the second she rolled off her belly, she realized her pillows were wet. As her eyes adjusted, her face felt sticky and cool, her fingers reaching up to discover her nose was bleeding. With a subtle sigh, she pinched her nostrils shut and tilted her head forward, crawling quietly to her feet. Raising a free hand she motioned towards Tala to remain, the wolf’s eyes barely open, still in a sleepy haze, her head resting comfortably upon Luckas’ back. Tala huffed out a breath, readjusting herself a bit before letting her eyes close once again. Ess tiptoed out of the tent, her eyes quickly glancing past a sleeping Luckas as she let the flap of the door fall shut.
Sitting upon the ground until the ache in her head began to fade, Ess released her nose, hoping the bleeds had at least slowed enough for her to clean her face before the blood began to cake and crust into a blackish rust. “Ugh...whhhy..” She whispered to herself, sipping at her flask and smiling. “..Never too early for a drink..” She held back a chuckle and listened, the camp so quiet she could hear Tala and Luckas breathing from behind her. Eventually her mind drifted back to the evening’s conversations between her, Jake, and Luckas. Every discussion somehow in someway led her back to thinking of her brother and in turn her anger crept back under her skin. ‘It’ll never...be over...’ She thought, scowling at the knowledge she was almost wishing she didn’t have, the ideas sickening her practically to tears. ..Doesn’t mean I’m going to stand around while it continues.. Ess stood, moving ever so silently, it was painfully slow, especially when she was practically holding her breath as she lightly stepped around to retrieve her relic blades and a few random supplies. Heel, toe, breathe was the pattern she moved before taking in a deep breath and holding it. Staring into her tent she watched Luckas for what seemed like minutes, slowly tugging at her cloak that was bunched up beside his foot. Her eyes widened when she thought she heard him stir, again freezing like a statue. When she was sure he wasn’t awake she fled into the shadows as fast as she could in her ridiculously slow movements to keep quiet, strapping her weapons along her waist.

“Shhh, boy...steady..” She whispered, patting Shockwave along his neck to calm his excited snorting and stomping. Ess led her horse by the reins, purposely walking a narrow path, passing beneath the guards that watched her from high above, a whistle signaling to her that she was spotted which she echoed back in return, her hand raised in a small wave. Her heart thudded loud in her ears as she wondered how angry the Captain would be with her once she awoke and found her note which she had stuck under the door before she left camp.

Captain,

I’ve apparently tricked myself into thinking you may not be as angry as I feared, because I am going after my brother. I am going back to where it all started, back to the beginning...As much as I try to do this on my own, I feel our mutual shadow may catch wind of this sooner than you. I promise to be back in no more than two days’ time, assuming I don’t get caught. If I feel it’s too risky, I’ll be back before nightfall.

Watch Tala for me,
Ess

Only when she thought she was far enough away, did she climb up on her horse. Leaning in to hug the stallion along his neck, he stirred, rearing up enough to push her sitting straight before bolting down the road with such a burst of energy, the wind tore the tears from her eyes.

The boy’s hands were pressed against his ears with all the strength he had in him, but still the screaming was horrifying; he didn’t know what exactly was happening, but he wouldn’t dare open his eyes. Trying to shut out the screaming of one voice only made the shouting of the other sound louder… The words piercing through his ears painfully: “LIAR! CHEATER! I WILL MAKE YOU PAY!”

The child was shivering in fear and pain, tears silently running down his face as he was curled up on the blood soaked floor; eyes still tightly shut. All of a sudden a second pair of, equally small, hands covered his own and successfully drowned out all the sound, and there he sat, in the silence… In darkness… For what seemed like forever… Until a female scream echoed so high no amount of sheltering could keep it from reaching his ears… And the boy opened his eyes to his mother’s terrified figure. Her eyes locked on him, and on the other boy who had been trying to help cover his ears, and she froze for a brief moment of hesitation before moving to drag both toddlers by their hands out of the house... Still covered in blood.

Luckas opened his eyes and found himself curled up into a ball, hands covering his ears, shallow breaths escaping him in a quick succession. Once he remembered where he was he frowned, sincerely hoping he hadn’t mumbled anything in his sleep. The dream was odd to him, but still somewhat familiar; maybe he’d had it before, but didn’t remember, or maybe... Maybe it was something he’d lived. Luckas cursed his mind for bringing these memories up in the absolutely worst moments and rubbed his eyes, glancing around with half his attention still on the dream. He snapped out of his sleepiness rather quickly though when he realized Ess wasn’t there, his eyes widening slightly as he spotted blood on her pillows. He glanced from the pillow to Tala, finding the wolf seated and watching him curiously, and relaxed for a second taking the time to breathe before shooting out of the tent in a hurry. If the blood was something serious Tala wouldn’t be sitting there quiet, that much Luckas was sure of, but he wasn’t all too pleased with the alternative.

“Crazy... Emotional... Impulsive... Stubborn... Lady!” Luckas muttered angrily under his breath as he headed towards the exit of the encampment, turning to glance over his shoulder suddenly as he noticed Tala was at his heels. “Tala... No...” He sighed, looking at the wolf, but not stopping. “Stay.” He commanded, watching with the corner of his eyes as the wolf slowed down her pace for a bit as if to stop and then stubbornly continued after him. “How did I manage to get myself surrounded by stubborn females?” Luckas shook his head stopping and turning to face the wolf. “Tala... Stay...” He repeated firmly, unfazed by the wolf’s disapproving growl. “Don’t argue with me. Back to camp.” He muttered, tilting his head slightly trying to look severe although he really was more amused than anything at Tala’s all-too-familiar stubbornness. The wolf glared at him, still growling defiantly for a few moments before turning away and walking back through the path. Luckas shook his head as he continued to head away from the camp. He didn’t know if he’d manage to catch up with Ess or not, but at least he knew exactly where she was going.

The stallion slowed his pace, gradually from a rolling canter to a trot, Ess not even noticing when Shockwave meandered his way into the forest to drink from a small brook. Ess’ mind was no where on the present, but neither was she stuck on the past; she was focused on the many possibilities of the future. Would she even find Ian and exact a suffering comparable to the anger swelling inside her? What if she failed and simply returned back to the Nest empty handed, and with a wounded pride? Ess wasn’t even sure if she was strong enough to keep going, but she figured she would soon find out because her typical stubbornness refused to turn back. Closing her eyes she inhaled deeply as her horse came to a stop, realizing her heart was quieting, no longer in rhythm with the entrancing hoof beats. Instinctually she leaned back, swinging her right leg over before sliding down off the stallion. When her feet touched the ground she began walking across the brook, her eyes opening just as her feet sloshed and dragged through the cold water, kicking polished stones aside. Finding herself before a large maple tree she began to cling and climb across several branches until she was at least six or seven feet over the ground where she relaxed along a divett in the center where several branches twisted together. She paused to watch Shockwave for a moment, and then unhooked her flask from her waist and swallowed a few deep droughts. Again, her eyes closed, her fingers resting comfortably along the hilt of her blade. Ess didn’t mean to nod off, she only meant to give her horse a short rest before they continued on their way, perching up on higher ground to keep an eye out for travelers. It felt like seconds before her eyes opened, unknowing for how long she actually had them closed.

Luckas wasn’t sure how long exactly he had been walking, he knew for a fact though that he’d never really covered this much distance this fast. Although, to be fair, he was rarely in a hurry for any reason. The walk was silent, and boring, and it honestly just gave him unwanted time to go over his weird dream and his annoyance for having to chase after horse tracks instead of sleeping late, which was what he had originally planned to do, but then... Maybe it was stupid of him to not sleep with one eye open after what had been the topic of discussion. Maybe the topic of discussion was the cause of his nightmare... He shook his head to push it aside, not wanting to go there now. “Only the guilty sleep...” He muttered. “So what does that make me now?”

Another piece of land covered, and Luckas had followed the tracks to the horse itself, finding
the stallion by a small stream in the forest. It didn’t take him long to spot Ess up in one of the trees, but he didn’t fully look up at her, finding a small, somewhat flat, rock to sit on and rest a bit from the walk. Staring at a point just between his feet at the ground ahead, he rubbed his eyes a bit wearily as he muttered in a very audible tone. “You promised to wait. I don’t like it when people go behind my back.” He stated simply, his tone sounding similar to the one of an ill-tempered child. “Could have woken me up at least.”

Ess wasn’t surprised when she looked below to see Luckas, his words reaching her above in the branches, appearing as if she was expecting some scolding for taking off before dawn peeked above the horizon. Swinging her legs over a branch, she scooted away from the tree’s center, letting them dangle, resting one hand upon her knee, a sweet smile shining down at her friend. “I know what I promised...and I kept it, like I keep all of my promises.” Scrunching her face together in a playful expression she shrugged, “...and besides, you looked peaceful and adorable sleeping...I didn’t want to spoil Tala’s contentment..” Ess winked, using her arms she pushed herself off the branch letting herself fall to the ground, once touching, her body naturally rolled to minimize the impact before gracefully wheeling to her feet.

“If you know what you promised, then you didn’t keep it.” Luckas muttered, still staring at his feet. “I had specified I needed time to make this safe, so unless you believed I would do that overnight, in my sleep, you knew that when I asked if you’d wait I didn’t mean until morning. So either you didn’t keep your promise, or you don’t know what you promised... I’d like to know which. Very much.” He shook his head, and stood giving Ess an annoyed glare. “I wouldn’t have slept if I thought you’d sneak out on me, so maybe I trust you a bit too much, huh?”

Ess rolled her eyes, her amusement faded along with a groan of frustration. Turning her back on Luckas she stared down at her feet, arms crossing lightly across her chest. “..Nothing will ever be truly safe, Luckas..no matter how much we try to prepare ourselves or our environment. I technically stated I would wait...so I said I would do something, hence it was like a promise.” Ess glanced over her shoulder, her gaze frightfully bright, annoyed with the idea of being called out on something she didn’t feel she deserved. “I didn’t plan on running off..” She whispered, her voice finding it’s strength again as she continued. “..I...waited...and the few hours i waited....I honestly wonder Luckas how many children were hurt..” Ess spun around, purposely backing away from Luckas, shaking her head. “How many could have died...how many could have been taken? I’m tired of waiting. I don’t want to feel like i’m turning my back...looking the other way..like so many others did to me. Always an excuse to wait...to NOT do something about it.” The woman hissed in her growing anger and stormed off towards her horse, pausing to gently pat him along his mane. “This isn’t just about Ian. I don’t expect to take on the world today, but I also don’t plan on sitting around idle any longer.”

Luckas held his angry glare for a few more moments before he released a shaky sigh, trying to calm himself a bit, shaking his head while Ess spoke. “You said... ‘I promise to wait’... Don’t...” He shook his head again. “Just don’t make me any more promises, alright? Not unless you’re absolutely sure you can keep to your word... I don’t like the idea of having to analyze every goddamn word someone says to me just to be sure they’re not going behind my back. I don’t care how you justify it... You knew what it sounded like... You lied to me.” He ran his hand through his hair, breathing slowly for a few moments.

After a bit he calmed and his tone changed considerably, even though there was still a considerable level of annoyance underneath. “You really should have woke me up. I mean, what, did you expect me to just let you run off on your own? What kind of a stalker do you take me for, Lady?” He let out a little annoyed snort. “And I’m not used to waking up and not... seeing you...” He mumbled, in an almost not audible tone. “Quite unpleasant even without the bloody pillows.” He gave a small shrug, trying not to make much of his concern. “And I’m just as adorable when I’m awake, so that’s just no excuse Lady.” He added, crossing his arms in a mocked severe expression before taking an actual serious tone to his words. “Look, I understand that nothing is ever safe, I know that you need to do this and I understand why you need to do this... You don’t have to convince me, you know. I just expected you to take me seriously enough to at least not run out on your own into a situation I’ve already said it’s pretty damn risky. Blackpond in itself is no place to wander into alone these days, even less for something like this. It’s no use getting yourself into something you can’t get out of just for the sake of doing SOMETHING.” He concluded, rolling his eyes. “And then people say I’m the selfish brat.”

Essence was quiet for some time, listening to everything Luckas had to say before she spoke. “Screw....you, Luckas. See it as you will. It’s not like I woke up thinking, ‘Oh, how can I royally piss off one of my best friends, today? Maybe I am tired of having answers held over my head. Maybe I believed you would make it a point to stop me. It’s ok for YOU to go wandering around Blackpond by yourself, but me...? Ha! Do I really seem helpless or stupid enough to not understand when I should walk away if things were going to be harder than I could handle?” She scoffed. “Here we go, double standards...should I start listing off the ways?” Ess spat, still refusing to turn back around to face Luckas, as she forced her fingers outwards running through her horse’s mane, the minor focus keeping her fists from clenching. “Keeping things to yourself is the same as lying...” She sighed, her thoughts scattered as she tried not to overthink EVERYTHING that Luckas had said. Her body was still tense, although she let her voice soften, an almost sad tone hinting outward each time she breathed in. “...It’s no fun falling asleep next to someone only to wake up and find them gone...kinda lonely isn’t it?” Ess turned around, staring at the ground intently, one hand still stroking the horse’s neck. “...And the blood....it was nothing...a bit more than usual for nose bleeds...but nothing all the same..” She fell silent again, as if something Luckas had said struck a nerve, but instead of growing angry again she continued staring off at her feet, the violet glow of her eyes strobing in a hypnotic pattern. Ess wanted to just turn, climb onto her horse and leave Luckas where he stood but at the same time she felt herself metaphorically reaching out to him. Yet, there she stood. Tears formed in her eyes but never reached her lashes; tiny ripples skipping across her irises similar to a stone ricocheting across a lake.

“Who says I wander around Blackpond alone, now?” Luckas muttered, the angry glare returning to his eyes as he spoke. “But yes, Lady, double standards... I didn’t invent them, but they exist. I’m not sure I even want to think of what will happen on the day you actually decide to make me royally pissed... I see blood being shed on that day.” He snorted, digging the tip of his boot onto the dirt and occupying himself with stirring the soil with his foot. “And if you must know, if this had been about stopping you, at any moment, I could have done just that. I can stop you if I want to just as I can kill you if I want to, but you and I both know that what I can or not do is freaking irrelevant here. So, no. I was trying to warn you but apparently you didn’t listen to what I was saying... You just made those little assumptions of yours... and really... I can’t freaking believe I’m repeating this damn discussion again.” He sighed, stomping on the bit of stirred soil he’d been fiddling with. “I know you are not helpless and I know you are not stupid and it somewhat offends me that you would think I would even be here if I didn’t... I don’t waste my time on pathetic people, I think I’ve mentioned that to you in the castle, or something along those lines... I’ll repeat myself, for your benefit, Lady: You are too close to this whole thing to be able to see the whole picture clearly. It has nothing to do with your abilities in any way... It’s a simple fact.” Luckas went silent, eyes staring at his feet as he shuffled through the dirt, after a moment or so he shook his head and spoke again, in a sincerely confused tone. “I thought I was being considerate, but if you rather I wake you before I leave... You could have said so.”

Ess sighed, glancing up at Luckas, a bitter and jealous edge to her tone as she whispered with a hint of sarcasm, “..Oh..I forgot...you have other friends...maybe in BlackPond then? I had only assumed...” Letting her features soften she smiled, not even trying to hide the feeling behind her words. “...We all make assumptions, Luckas...we all look beyond the simple words spoken...and great..now that we have succeeded at offending each other in some way...do you think that brings us closer?” Ess snickered. “Do you think knowing how to get under one another’s skin...” She didn’t finish her thought, instead she shook it from her mind, stepping forward to reach for Luckas’ hand. “Are we done arguing now? It obviously is changing nothing...we are both stubborn but I’m sure you know the truth in this as well. Do you still want to come along? I’d rather you at my side anyways..” Ess’ stomach twisted, trying to push back her anger and the urge to smack Luckas across the back of his head. Keeping a smile, the glow of her eyes faded to a darker purple, almost grey, storm like aura. She remembered where she should be focusing her anger and was almost embarrassed how she let it escalate as much as it did, even if she felt she was right for her annoyance.

Ess slipped her fingers along Luke's hand and gave a squeeze before releasing. With an acrobatic ease she leaped back up on her horse, gesturing in the direction of BlackPond. "No time for a toss in the hay now, lets get going. That is..if you're not still mad at me?"

Luckas sighed softly, shaking his head. “I have no other friends... That’s not what I said...” He whispered. “Least I think not.” He shrugged, really not caring for the whole argument anymore and just wanting to move on. He shook his head once more before looking at Ess with a more relaxed expression. “Do our arguments ever change something, Lady? I’d say we’re doomed to eternally ‘agree to disagree’.” He snickered, slightly amused at the thought. “I’m only stubborn when I’m right, I’ll have you know.” He added, with a little smirk crossing his expression. “And of course I’m going, do you think I came all the way here just for a little spat?” He snickered again, trying for an innocent expression, but unable to pull it off. “Well, it’s not unlike me to do such a thing, but no... I’m keeping a close eye on you, Lady.” Giving Shockwave a slightly wary glance, he added. “Do I get a ride, or shall I race you there? I’m a pretty fast runner, you know.” He played.

Releasing an amused, sudden burst of breath, Essence smiled. “Eternally cursed to agree to disagree...” She trailed off, her eyes finally softening to an almost hopeful expression at the thought. Rolling her eyes she held back a chuckle. “I’m only stubborn when i’m right too...” Shaking her head she scooted forward, gently patting Shockwave along his side. “If you must keep such a ‘close’ eye on me, then by all means ride with me. I don’t doubt your speed, but I do doubt you outrunning my friend here.” The stallion shuffled where he stood, nostrils flaring with each breath, turning his head to eye Luckas as if inspecting him before he settled, nodding in submission. “Normally, I don’t recommend trying to ride Shockwave, but since i’m with you, I think he’ll be ok.” She stated with a hint of playful doubt.

Luckas nodded, he couldn’t say that riding was his favorite way to get around; he’d much rather walk any day, but he didn’t give much more thought to it since he obviously couldn’t outrun a horse and he did want to keep a close eye on Ess. After giving Shockwave another, rather nervous, look, Luckas climbed onto the horse, a bit awkwardly as if he didn’t quite know what to do with himself. “Still alive.” He stated, snickering. “I think we’re good. Now... I wonder... Since you did put me through all the hassle of chasing you down, do I get some fun time for my troubles? That assuming we actually get anywhere with this.” Luke asked, somewhat conformed with the fact he wasn’t going to get anywhere with trying to turn this in any other direction... Might as well have fun with it.

“Hassle....troubles?” Ess stated with a light, airy laugh. She sighed, looking thoughtful for a moment before leaning backwards so she pressed her back along Luckas’ chest, reaching for his arms which she pulled tightly around her waist before straightening. “I know it’ll be worth it...” Ess whispered with a teasing smile. “..I won’t promise you’ll have fun, but I will make sure to do all I can to give you the full opportunity to indulge...and if I can help it, I plan on keeping my promise of fiery fun..” Shockwave began moving in an impatient forward and backwards motion causing Ess’ smile to broaden. “Ok..ok...shhh...” Addressing Luckas, she spoke over her shoulder, “Now hold on, this guy here packs quite a-” Essence laughed as the stallion didn’t even wait for the gentle tap of her heels before bucking and then lunging forward into almost an immediate full gallop. Leaning into the horse, Ess rested one arm across her waist, the other along the back of his neck, her fingers gripping his reins firmly yet the hold was loose, giving the horse much slack as they moved with an unrelenting speed.