Amber Breth
âA girl with kaleidoscope eyes.â ~ The Beatles
âA girl with kaleidoscope eyes.â ~ The Beatles
I don't recall what I'd done after I'd placed the tiny paper on my tongue. I do remember Lacey's smile, and a look that let me relax in a way I hadn't been able to without her. It seems like a long time since I felt it dissolve away, but the clock says thirty-ninety two so it mustn't have been that long ago. As I now lay among the pillows of the couch I barely remember where I am. Everything feels wet. There's a heaviness about me, and I swear I feel as if I'm underwater. The music is loud and whining, but muddled as if it's underwater as well. Usually I'd be able to tell you what I smelled, but currently I don't remember what it's like smell anything. Colors are vivid, and they sing to me. Everything looks so soft, and I feel as if I've been staring at a white fluffy pillow for the past 2,846 minutes. I try to stand, and reach out to get it, but suddenly I'm on the floor beside Colin.
The pillow is far to my left, and I don't understand how I'd come so far off course. His shirt is a bright green, and it tastes of sour apples. His smile seems frozen, staring at me. It taunts me like the chesire cat, and the flutter in blood is either of panic or excitement-I can't tell. His hand reaches toward me, and I flinch as his cold fingers touch the back of my neck. Red string falls onto his arm, but suddenly it is not string. It is fire. I jump back, terrified. But the fire is no long on him; it's all around my shoulders.
My heart begins to pound, but not in my chest. I feel it in arms. I see where the bathroom is, and rush towards it. I run through a marmalade river to get there, and the doorknob to the bathroom melts into my hand.
Frantically I turn on the shower and throw myself into the bathtub in order to put the fire out. My eyes close and everything becomes very, very quiet.
My body softens and I think.
I'm being rained on, but it's a good feeling. I run in the grass, and he chases me. It's a game, and I giggle with the pleasure of winning. He catches me, but I am not sad. It's warm despite the water, and I feel the sound of his laughter in my veins. It's as if the candle melts as fast as a cannonball is shot across the sea. He kisses me and I feel the vanilla fill my brain. It's an intoxicating sensation of balloons and racecars rushing through my stomach. In my head we are one, our bodies seem infused. Suddenly he feels far away, and theres a terrible calamity that burns a hole in my chest. Red tears of angels pour out of me and I fall to the ground. Nate was there, he tasted upset.
My eyes open and I am no long in a field as I was a moment ago, but inside the bathtub. Red, thick, liquid surrounds me and splashes onto me. I tremble, unable to choke out my screams. The blood is trying to drown me, and I am captive unless all of the shampoo in the shower is poured out. I leap out of the shower and begin ripping the caps off of shampoos and conditioners, and squeezing the marshmallow drink into the blood. Once I've completed my task I exit the tile filled room.
I feel heavier than I had 57 hours ago, and it's hard to move from place to place. I haven't seen a familiar face since last year, but in a new room I feel content. The wood grain swirls on the walls, the pattern dances just for me, slipping and waving in fluid movements. My hands are stiff as a flower, my legs as jelly as stone. Things are all very real yet all very strange.
I smell the vibration of my cell phone, and pull it out to see Charlie talking to her. He wasn't happy. He was sad and scared. Violet wasn't good.Violet was hurt.
It was all happening again, in cycles and spinning. A moth ate the words on the walls, but I read what I thought. I saw what I knew. And I heard what I'd feared.
The gunshots again, the car crashes. The millions of accidents that created a never ending life of unknowing until too late. It was happening again, they were all to die very soon. They were all going to die again.
I had to tell Jack. I had to find Violet. They both existed yet never had been real at all. I see them in my hands, and feel them in mu mind. Now I have to see Lacey too.
By the time I tumbled through the jungle of jumping trees and plants with vivid colors and human like features I found Lacey on the edge of it all. "We need to find her. She's in trouble!" I breathed, my words were blue and my sentences flew out in speech bubbles.
Colin came soon after not giving me time to explain or say much to Lacey. She'd read the text as well it seemed. He informed us that the police were here, and we had to get out now. He took me by the wrist, his grip was tight and my skin crawled beneath it. I took Lacey's hand as well, her hand felt soft like silk, but it was slippery and I felt afraid of losing her amoung the waves. We treaded through the crowd, which poured like water out to the door Colin brought me through. Lacey still held my hand, and I felt a bit safer.
It was as if we teleported to his car, it'd felt so fast I couldn't believe we'd even left yet. I was dry now, but the ground I walked on was sinking beneath me. Lacey and I slid into the back of the car, and the seat absorbed me into it. My hands glued to the seat, along with the rest of my body. My eyes traveled outside of me, and I saw in all directions.
The air was cool, but instead I sat in a very old vehicle beside the boy from the rain. He placed his hand delicately on top of mine, weightless as a dictionary. The colors here were dull, but full of a strong energy of paint splatter. I don't know where we were going, but the flowers in my free hand were from him, and they tasted like daisies. I loved daisies. The glowed of sparkling light in all directions, and the faint color lit my eyes as well. His voice felt like velvet, and he called me by my name. Ella. It was an autumn breeze on a summers night. Sent chills through me, but the warmth of the air held me close. It felt right, but a hint of doubt flushed my cheeks.
My name is not Ella. My name is Amber.
In the car again we sit, Lacey and I, I don't know where she'd been when I'd been next to him, but he'd disappeared now and she felt closer to me than he had. Here I felt more in control, if I wanted I could reach out and touch the bright colors of her clothing. Where I was before, I could only watch myself.
The cars behind us followed us like spies, and I had an uneasy feeling about sitting there. We weren't moving fast enough. Or in the right direction. "We NEED to go to the hospital. NOW." I blurted out, immediately after I wondered if I'd actually said it.
It was now that I realized Colin wasn't driving, but another boy. I don't believe he was with us when we had met up with Colin before. Colin turned from the passenger seat and gave me a confused voice and a face that asked why?
I burst into tears, and threw my arms around my best friend beside me. I sobbed into her shoulder, muttering over and over it might be too late.
My grip kept slipping, and my tears were filling up the car. I repeated myself until Colin promised me we'd go find Violet, and I could only hope he'd be telling the truth.
The car was growing smaller, and I was expanding. My mind took up more space than my body, and I knew if I let go of Lacey I'd float out of the car.
The shadows that shined light into the car were disturbing, sometimes so much that I shut my eyes tight as if to block them out. I felt my bones shaking, and my insides melting. Was I falling apart into Lacey?
The pillow is far to my left, and I don't understand how I'd come so far off course. His shirt is a bright green, and it tastes of sour apples. His smile seems frozen, staring at me. It taunts me like the chesire cat, and the flutter in blood is either of panic or excitement-I can't tell. His hand reaches toward me, and I flinch as his cold fingers touch the back of my neck. Red string falls onto his arm, but suddenly it is not string. It is fire. I jump back, terrified. But the fire is no long on him; it's all around my shoulders.
My heart begins to pound, but not in my chest. I feel it in arms. I see where the bathroom is, and rush towards it. I run through a marmalade river to get there, and the doorknob to the bathroom melts into my hand.
Frantically I turn on the shower and throw myself into the bathtub in order to put the fire out. My eyes close and everything becomes very, very quiet.
My body softens and I think.
I'm being rained on, but it's a good feeling. I run in the grass, and he chases me. It's a game, and I giggle with the pleasure of winning. He catches me, but I am not sad. It's warm despite the water, and I feel the sound of his laughter in my veins. It's as if the candle melts as fast as a cannonball is shot across the sea. He kisses me and I feel the vanilla fill my brain. It's an intoxicating sensation of balloons and racecars rushing through my stomach. In my head we are one, our bodies seem infused. Suddenly he feels far away, and theres a terrible calamity that burns a hole in my chest. Red tears of angels pour out of me and I fall to the ground. Nate was there, he tasted upset.
My eyes open and I am no long in a field as I was a moment ago, but inside the bathtub. Red, thick, liquid surrounds me and splashes onto me. I tremble, unable to choke out my screams. The blood is trying to drown me, and I am captive unless all of the shampoo in the shower is poured out. I leap out of the shower and begin ripping the caps off of shampoos and conditioners, and squeezing the marshmallow drink into the blood. Once I've completed my task I exit the tile filled room.
I feel heavier than I had 57 hours ago, and it's hard to move from place to place. I haven't seen a familiar face since last year, but in a new room I feel content. The wood grain swirls on the walls, the pattern dances just for me, slipping and waving in fluid movements. My hands are stiff as a flower, my legs as jelly as stone. Things are all very real yet all very strange.
I smell the vibration of my cell phone, and pull it out to see Charlie talking to her. He wasn't happy. He was sad and scared. Violet wasn't good.Violet was hurt.
It was all happening again, in cycles and spinning. A moth ate the words on the walls, but I read what I thought. I saw what I knew. And I heard what I'd feared.
The gunshots again, the car crashes. The millions of accidents that created a never ending life of unknowing until too late. It was happening again, they were all to die very soon. They were all going to die again.
I had to tell Jack. I had to find Violet. They both existed yet never had been real at all. I see them in my hands, and feel them in mu mind. Now I have to see Lacey too.
By the time I tumbled through the jungle of jumping trees and plants with vivid colors and human like features I found Lacey on the edge of it all. "We need to find her. She's in trouble!" I breathed, my words were blue and my sentences flew out in speech bubbles.
Colin came soon after not giving me time to explain or say much to Lacey. She'd read the text as well it seemed. He informed us that the police were here, and we had to get out now. He took me by the wrist, his grip was tight and my skin crawled beneath it. I took Lacey's hand as well, her hand felt soft like silk, but it was slippery and I felt afraid of losing her amoung the waves. We treaded through the crowd, which poured like water out to the door Colin brought me through. Lacey still held my hand, and I felt a bit safer.
It was as if we teleported to his car, it'd felt so fast I couldn't believe we'd even left yet. I was dry now, but the ground I walked on was sinking beneath me. Lacey and I slid into the back of the car, and the seat absorbed me into it. My hands glued to the seat, along with the rest of my body. My eyes traveled outside of me, and I saw in all directions.
The air was cool, but instead I sat in a very old vehicle beside the boy from the rain. He placed his hand delicately on top of mine, weightless as a dictionary. The colors here were dull, but full of a strong energy of paint splatter. I don't know where we were going, but the flowers in my free hand were from him, and they tasted like daisies. I loved daisies. The glowed of sparkling light in all directions, and the faint color lit my eyes as well. His voice felt like velvet, and he called me by my name. Ella. It was an autumn breeze on a summers night. Sent chills through me, but the warmth of the air held me close. It felt right, but a hint of doubt flushed my cheeks.
My name is not Ella. My name is Amber.
In the car again we sit, Lacey and I, I don't know where she'd been when I'd been next to him, but he'd disappeared now and she felt closer to me than he had. Here I felt more in control, if I wanted I could reach out and touch the bright colors of her clothing. Where I was before, I could only watch myself.
The cars behind us followed us like spies, and I had an uneasy feeling about sitting there. We weren't moving fast enough. Or in the right direction. "We NEED to go to the hospital. NOW." I blurted out, immediately after I wondered if I'd actually said it.
It was now that I realized Colin wasn't driving, but another boy. I don't believe he was with us when we had met up with Colin before. Colin turned from the passenger seat and gave me a confused voice and a face that asked why?
I burst into tears, and threw my arms around my best friend beside me. I sobbed into her shoulder, muttering over and over it might be too late.
My grip kept slipping, and my tears were filling up the car. I repeated myself until Colin promised me we'd go find Violet, and I could only hope he'd be telling the truth.
The car was growing smaller, and I was expanding. My mind took up more space than my body, and I knew if I let go of Lacey I'd float out of the car.
The shadows that shined light into the car were disturbing, sometimes so much that I shut my eyes tight as if to block them out. I felt my bones shaking, and my insides melting. Was I falling apart into Lacey?