Snippet #2461831

Violet was trying to reason with me the best way that she could from her current position. She seemed to be blushing over what I had said before, but that could have just as easily been the physical reaction to her apparent anger towards me over the context of it all. She even called me a hypocrite, as though her mind were nearing the same wavelength of my own. The words that came out of her mouth were all more or less completely true, although there was no way for her to know that herself. Yes, I was dealing with some "deep shit", but she was, of course, wrong in her assumption that it was just recently when I started to become "antisocial". This was something that had been repeating over and over since the day we first died by way of the curse. But again; this and that are two entirely different things. It's not that I don't trust my friends, it's just that I don't trust myself enough to confide in them with my mistake. If I start to rely on others, then I'll let my guard down... Won't I?

Of course, I'm also genuinely afraid of how they would look at me from then on if they realized that I had been keeping this secret of trying to lift the curse, as well as somehow remembering everything from every life we've ever lived since the day this whole thing started. Violet just didn't understand, but how could she when I refuse to tell her? I constantly found myself caught between a rock and a hard place whenever I dealt with both my friends and my secret at the same time, and I was gradually growing very tired of it all.

Despite all the thoughts I had floating around in my head after hearing Violet's words, I chose to remain silent, feeling that anything I said at this point would just fall on deaf ears, as there was no way my words would be the ones she was hoping to hear. I merely shifted my gaze down to the floor of the ambulance and lowered my head slightly, showing obvious signs that I knew what she was talking about, but didn't want to be confronted about it. Truly; a hypocrite.

Then she said something that actually made me rather angry deep down.

"...Sorry, but I'm gonna keep doin' things as I've always been," she said. "You'll probably keep shuttin' us out too, so... it's even, I guess." The words that came just before were far less negative, and borderline comforting to hear after all that had been said a couple of minutes ago. But these words made my core ache with both fear and calm rage. She was still going to keep doing this kind of shit? Not only that, but she had the nerve to tell it right to my face, as though I wouldn't care or pay it any mind. But that assumption was an incorrect one. If Violet thought that I was gonna shut her out and keep my distance after what happened tonight, even more to the point of her last statement, then she really was as stupid as she was claiming herself to be. See, in every cycle we were forced to live, there was always a defining moment that would speak a single phrase to me: "today's the day"... And when I heard those words echo in my mind when I picked Violet up on that dark street, I knew that the curse was powering up for a full-throttle attack. One that I needed to be prepared for. You'll probably keep shuttin' us out too? Not a chance. I was going to stick to her like glue from then on...

Keeping my thoughts to myself as I often did, our ride suddenly came to a stop as the paramedics started to cart Violet out the back of the ambulance. Following after them, I stuck by my friend's side while we made our way up the ramp to the rear entrance of the hospital, until I was told that I couldn't continue with her and the medics due to the area ahead was staff only territory. Nodding along with them, I gave Violet a reassuring smile as she was carted off through the doors.

About a half an hour later, I was waiting in the hall beside the room; the number having been acquired from the front desk after Violet was officially admitted. Finally, I was told by the smiling doctor that I was allowed to see my friend, which I was thankful for. It was just a couple broken ribs and some rather bad bruises, as well as the additional cut or scrape from the "accident", or so was the official name of the report over the cause of Violet's injuries.

"Hey..." I said, walking in after a light knock. Violet was just laying there, looking exhausted, but relieved of most of her pain due to the painkillers she was given. "How are you feeling...?" Nodding at her response in simple acknowledgment, I moved to sit down in the chair next to her bed. "So, I guess your parents should be here soon, then?" I asked, raising my eyebrows a bit as I did. It wouldn't be long before our friends would show up as well, I imagined. I figured that seeing them might raise her spirits slightly, even if she might feel a little shy or embarrassed, as she was susceptible of in situations where she was in the spotlight of worry. Upon thinking this, I gave her a warm smile, hoping that might ease any nerves she might have.

Taking a moment to check my phone's inbox, which was completely void of new messages -- save for the single mass text sent by Charlie. Putting it back in my pocket, I took a glance around the room, not sure what to do with myself. The ticking in my head beginning to grow more prominent than anything else at the moment, I decided to check my trademark pocket watch. I stared down at the faint ticking with slight melancholy, as I often did whenever I was alone. It was a wonder how I was forgetting myself while in the presence of a close friend...