thanks Famished!
Sitting with Raze, Sakura concentrated on cleaning the wounds he'd sustained from the fight. The wet cloth gathered up the stray blood as she wiped it across his face. It was silent for a little while, but she was dying with questions. Something was wrong and she wasn't sure if she should ask them or not. Finishing with the small cut across his cheek, she moved to his arm, "Um..." she started, "Your... shirt."
While he himself had gotten on the elemental's case about the blade at Kenji's throat, he had done so much less aggressively than Shyc did for sure. In fact, just the anger behind his motivation for speaking to Fotia had even gotten on Raze's nerves a bit. After all, right now Shyc was speaking to Dane's god, and Dane himself was not really feeling happy about how he spoke to her before. Combined, these two factors caused Razeluxe to, of course, raise his tone, particularly towards Shyc. "Her worry is warranted, Shyc. Your attitude, however, is not. Don't tear out the throat of an ally, it really benefits nobody." Razeluxe was a lot more calm with his words than he felt. He wasn't some zealous, fanatical worshiper of the faith he believed in, but it was still somewhat infuriating. Either way, the leader of the mercenaries kept his cool as usual and that should be that.
Shyc's face went pale as he took the verbal warning from Raze. He often got in trouble, but this time was a bit more than usual, or so the young thief thought anyway. He bit his lip as he felt a blush of shame cross his face and he looked down. Releasing the weapon he turned away and stared down at the ground, but he didn't move either, remaining right in front of Kenji. He offered an apology to Raze though, because he knew he had gone out of line and he didn't like it when his leader was angry with him for any reason, "I'm sorry, Raze," he said and then waited for Kenji to speak, which he did.
"I feel I would be beneficial to the group. I'm good at fighting and as you just witnessed I'm fast with quick instincts. My name is Kenji Umeki, I've traveled all around Camdiere and fought for almost all the kingdoms. I have no affiliation. My intentions are to work with Shyc and in order to do that I'm willing to protect the princess. Accept me if you wish or else I'll be on my way."
If what he said was true, then his 'resume' as it were would suffice. Raze did not care much for Kenji due to his blatant refusal to acknowledge him a few days earlier, but if this man could listen when he needed to, then that should be good enough. And, obviously, saving Sakura earned the man a few points, so that went far enough to win Raze over, albeit hesitantly. "I am willing allow him to join us, so long as he listens and obeys when need be. I don't run an army, but I do lead a group. Some obedience is required eventually." he did want to know exactly what about Shyc had interested him. Shyc did not seem to be the most interesting individual from Raze's point of view, no offense to the boy. He certainly couldn't be said to be the brightest fellow in the bunch, so maybe it had something to do with his other half. Or so Raze deduced. Either way, as long as he didn't threaten anyone and did not cause disruption to the group, Razeluxe did not mind. He'd throw his vote in. But he could only throw his own....
"However, your joining of the group requires everyone's consent. I won't ask Shyc because it's obvious how he feels, and the lady who pointed the blade at your throat is technically newer than yourself to the group. So..." the elf glanced down at Sakura. "What's your opinion on the matter?"
Sakura looked between Raze and the man in question. Honestly, she wasn't sure what she thought. She recalled the night that Shyc had gone rampaging and how he was treated by the very person who wanted to now join them. Her lips pulled into a frown as she sat next to Raze. In light of that, she couldn't forget what he had just done either, the cuts across his skin were glaring proof of that. Even so, she was slightly unsettled, "I don't know, Raze. He did help though, so I guess it would be alright. I will have to learn more about him to really trust him though," she answered, looking back down at Raze, "I don't trust him. He had tried to kill Shyc before. I do, however, believe in giving others a chance."
"Then it seems he may stay." Raze stated, perhaps much to Shyc's elation. "Though if he does anything hostile whatsoever to the wrong party, then I will show no tolerance. I don't think I need to elaborate further on that matter, it's pretty obvious a threat."
Having said as much as he had wanted and his business involving Kenji directly being done, Razeluxe returned his attention to the fragile girl who was treating his wounds. With a small pause, she simply mentioned his shirt and with an even shorter pause, the young elf did not hesitate to reach under each sleeve and remove the fabric from his body, exposing a warrior's physique - a firm and tone body, riddled with many small scars in various places, obviously all from the many conflicts he had been in throughout his long life.
Sakura was slightly shocked at his near immediate response. Her gaze dropped unwillingly down as he removed the shirt. A brilliant blush painted her face and she quickly turned to walk behind him and tend to the cut on his arm, "Raze..." her voice squeaked a bit and she coughed to clear it, "Who was that elf?" she asked softly, trying to give her mind something else to focus on.
Upon hearing the question, Razeluxe tensed up. He was upset that it would be impossible to pass it off as just some random elf - the fight, the fact the elf knew his true name, and the hatred he had for Raze --- no, Dane, had already betrayed as much. If one were listening to the conversation the two elves had, they could likely piece together the basis of what may have happened, or at the very least, the fact that the other elf held a deep grudge against Razeluxe. Sakura didn't seem like an idiot, so Razeluxe could tell this was probably just a meaningless question to pass the time. Or, so it should have been. Remembering the past was just a very difficult thing for Raze to do when it came to his elven brethren. Taking a moment to himself before answering, he replied with, "My brother? No... I really haven't the right to call him that anymore..."
Sakura frowned a bit. The cut wasn't anything serious and so she had cleaned it rather quickly. Sitting back, she ended up staring at the glaring red wound for a while, trying to gather her own thoughts, "That man. He really wanted to kill you. I could... feel it. It scared me, Raze. I thought he was going to win, and... the way you fought.... it was different," she frowned even more as she tried to explain, "He... called you Dane. Why? Why does he want to kill you so badly? You don't deserve anything like that," she leaned forward now, reaching to touch his shoulder and moving just enough so that she could see the side of his face. Her heart was racing again, pounding hard with a flux of emotions that probably weren't good, but she didn't care.
"Dane...."
It certainly had been more than a few decades since he was last called that. Who had said it last? His dying mother? Someone from the clan? Iriyn? It had been too long to bother remembering. All he knew was that at one point, that had been his name, the one his human father had given him. But he wasn't human anymore, for what creature with any shred of humanity do what he had done? There was none. So, of course, when he was branded with a title most befitting of him, he never did return to calling himself Dane. "... When you take everything from someone, they tend to hold a grudge, Sakura" he looked down at her with cold, nearly dead eyes. Eyes of a beaten, broken man. Though his speech remained unaffected, one could see the torment, sorrow, and regret in these orbs of his, clear as day.
"Your biggest mistake right now, Sakura, is believing I'm half the man I'm made out to be. There's nobody more deserving of meeting their end at his blade than I am, it's just the truth. I think... I've accepted that now. Is that what you meant when you said I fought 'differently'?"
As his gaze fell on her, they were cold, dark and full of feelings that scared her further. Sakura sucked in a sharp breath as she met his eyes. Her own eyes widened at bit as she looked up at him. She didn't know what he meant exactly by taking away everything from someone, perhaps he was saying that he had done such an act, but Sakura shook her head a bit. She wasn't going to believe that for a second. This man, sitting before her, wasn't someone who could do that so easily and with what she was witnessing in his look right then told her that whatever it was that had happened, he wasn't happy, or accepting, or anything of the like towards it.
"Raze!" she nearly shouted his name as he continued afterwards. Lurching to her feet, she came full circle to face him fully, grabbing his shoulders with both hands now she shook her head as she tried not to cry, "You are a good man, and you have shown that to me and Shyc and Willow and Dinan. You cannot say that you're not anything less. You don't deserve to die, no one does! And yes, that's what I meant when I said you fought differently. You wanted to die, didn't you?!" she was shaking now as she spoke rather quickly, her emotions flaring up in a bright wave, "You idiot! What do you think would have happened if you allowed that? Didn't you think about how Shyc would have reacted if that had happened? And what about me? Don't you understand anything, Raze?"
"Mercenaries always die in some way or another." he retorted, "You and Shyc wouldn't spend forever mourning the loss of a soldier, nor should you."
Sakura's face slackened as she watched him. The strength in her legs was threatening to give out. Her head dropped forward, long tendrils of black hair falling over her shoulders and face. With a soft laugh, she closed her eyes that shed tears now, "So... You are telling me not to be sad about someone that I care about, someone that I might even want to be with for a long time. You're telling me that I shouldn't care what happens to him? That if he dies I shouldn't mourn his passing? Are you saying that I should just accept the fact that you don't care?! About anything?" she shoved off his shoulders and turned around.
"..." Dane remained silent as Sakura's emotions began spewing forth like a hurricane. He wasn't so blind as to miss the implications of her words, but that wasn't an excuse for being so dense about the matter earlier. He wouldn't be surprised if he found out the others knew how Sakura felt earlier. That being said... he wasn't someone who could accept such feelings were they thrown at him. He'd lost that chance so very long ago.
"Sakura..."
He placed a hand on her shoulder. "I've accepted the fact that I have done something unforgivable in the past, and that I do deserve to die. And I don't believe you should spend too long grieving over me if that ends up happening. But that does not mean I've any intentions of dying, or I would've just let myself perish earlier. I apologize about what I said, it was a bit insensitive of me, and I won't try to place blame on anything but myself. Yet, do you really think you could even spend a great length of time with me? I've exposed you to danger countless times already..."
Her chest had started hurting again, her fingers curled up over the area as she stood there with her back to him. He called her name and touched her shoulder and she jumped slightly. Turning to face him as he finished talking and apologizing, she looked up at him for a while not saying a word. He had somehow calmed her down, calmed down the raging torrent that usually caused so much pain she couldn't stand properly. She smiled at him, despite the tears, "Of course," she answered brightly, "I want to stay here, I want to stay with you, Raze. The past doesn't matter to me. You are you, and I want just that. I don't care if we find more danger along the way. What I do care about is that I'm with you and no where else. I know you for who you are and I'm in love with that. Everything, that is you, everything."
"... So is that your honest confession?"
Sakura's face lit up once more as she looked at him. Her mind went blank for a moment as she realized that, yes, she had indeed confessed to him. After a moment she finally took a breath, "Yes," she answered, her heart skipping a beat as she answered. Now what?! she thought as a slight tremble started in her hands and limbs.
Perhaps one might be thrown off by his expression after she admitted it. Where one would expect a smile of some sort or tears of joy (though Raze wasn't that kind of person, so probably not from him), Dane had looked a bit more down than he already was. The fact was, was that he still couldn't just be happy with his life. He convinced himself to live for now, but being content with life was another matter entirely. So, while it was possible he might internally return those feelings to Sakura, well, he just could not accept them yet. He still had much things to do.
"I see..." he wasn't sure what he should say. Rejection wasn't something he was accustomed to. It wasn't like she was not beautiful, kind, or his 'type'. It was solely him that was the problem, but the line 'it's not you, it's me' was much too clichéd for him to use, and it didn't make things any less... hurtful. Knowing her, she would think there was something wrong on her end, even if he could somehow word it to accurate describe why he could accept her feelings, which he wasn't exactly able to. "... Your mother would murder me if she heard you say that, you know?" the only thing he could do now was... ignore it. So he tried.
Sakura searched his gaze but he had gone back to being impossible to read. She wasn't sure what to do as he told her about her mother, "My... mother," she muttered the words, "She... I wouldn't let that happen, Raze. I...." she paused, unsure of what to say or even how to think really, "I wont let my mother kill you, or tell me that I cant be with you. Is that.... really what you're worried about?" she asked though other thoughts were starting to come to mind as well.
"I tried to make a joke." he clarified. In all honesty, he wasn't the best at doing that, so maybe it wasn't so funny as he had thought it was when he was thinking it. Well, in any case, he was not attempting to quit his day job any time soon so it should be fine.
"Well, we should get ready to head out. We've got a trip and a cure to get."
Sakura was partially stunned as he walked by her. She wasn't sure how to react to what had just happened. She had poured her heart out to him and in return... nothing. There was a slight pain, and she did wince but she didn't turn to follow him just yet. Sakura stood, trying to figure out what she was feeling and how to deal with it.
Start Quest: Journey to Truell ; Another Mercenary
Sakura had three days to think. Three days of moving with the group. She had been bright and cheerful as much as she could be, but she was otherwise left to her own thoughts. Raze had seemingly brushed aside her confession with no real answer to her and she wasn't sure how she should be feeling. Truell was getting ever closer and the 'cure' that was there was the ending point of her stay with them.
Trudging along the road with them in midday light, she looked up to see the snowy covered mountain as their destination far ahead of them. Holding onto the reigns of the horse that led their cart, she gripped it tightly, wondering what exactly she was going to meet there.