Her lungs still felt like they were full of helium, so Ellie decided it was best to go get some fresh air from outside. With shakiness, she arose from the corner, grabbed her stuff, and tried her best not to get knocked over by any drunk party-goers. She took one last look back at Khloe, Rylee, and James, and then bolted out the front door of the club into the night. She'd be doing herself and her friends a favor by leaving; at least they wouldn't be getting kicked out of the Bamboo for her own violent actions.
It was a little chilly outside, but nothing completely unbearable. She walked quickly across the dark brick sidewalk, her heels clacking loudly against the pavement. She swore she could see Davey and Lacey talking through one of the gates just outside the club. She stared at them for a while, and then continued on her way. She made no decisions as to where she was going; she just kept walking straight. Fortunately, her path was illuminated by lamplight, so she wasn't left in complete darkness.
Now she could breathe normally again, so Ellie stopped striding once she reached the outside of a small Irish pub. She didn't go inside - she just sat on a tiny black bench that looked invisible in the black hues of night. She sat and watched the world go by until her lungs were full of air, her eyes were dry of tears, and her mind was free of emotions. With haste, she pulled her hair out of its bun, and slipped her aching feet out of the six-inch heels she had forced herself to wear. Ellie put her flower crown back in her bag, although she was tempted to throw it in the garbage beside her. She stared up at the stars, her brain a little less crowded with thoughts.
Something was gnawing at her, and she knew what it was. Since the beginning of the trip, she had only caused the group pain and dismay. If she had comforted Khloe, maybe her and Sammie wouldn't have drifted apart. If she hadn't seen Sammie and Rylee kiss, maybe they could have been an item. And if she never had come in the first place, she wouldn't have ruined the group's clubbing experience by punching that horny guy in the nose and igniting a flame of trouble. So many things were her fault...
And so Ellie was left with a decision that she painstakingly had to make. She twiddled her thumbs like she was deep in thought, but she really didn't have to think about her choices at all. She just wanted to go home. She had been looking forward to the trip for months, but unlike what her therapist thought, Ellie could not find something or someone that would make her whole again. She would just have to be broken for the rest of her life, causing chaos and heartbreak wherever she tread...
So in that moment, Ellie pulled out her phone, and sent a text to Khloe.
To: Khloe
From: Ellie
I think I'm going to pack up my stuff 2moro and go home. It's for the best. I'm sorry about everything...
She sighed, closed her eyes, and leaned against the bench. In a way, she felt like a dead corpse. She pulled out the notebook hiding in her bag, uncapped a black sharpie marker, and wrote a giant 'YOU SUCK' addressed to herself across one of the pages. She stared at it for many moments, not taking her eyes off of the page.
Funny - just a couple of minutes ago, she had been the happiest girl in the world. And now she was right back where she had started.
"Well, that was..--that was just..-- Wow. Davey that was amazing," said Lacey, her red face giving the impression that she was flabbergasted. He chuckled at her adorableness. "It was, wasn't it? See?...There's no reason to be afraid of me."
"And I really, really like you too and I want to be with you." she continued. Davey was beaming now. However, his happiness wouldn't last for long.
"...But, I'm leaving in two week and..-- and I don't know if we could last in a long distance relationship like that."
And just like that, his smile had turned into a frown. Lacey was right. He thought of something to say. All he could think about was how much of a bitch reality was. "But, I like you, a lot and I don't want to go back to just being friends with you," she said. This gave him at least a little bit of hope. "I'm... confused, and conflicted. I don't know what you want me to do." she said, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
He chuckled at her last sentence, but it came out with sad, mirthless undertones. "Well, some things are unpredictable, Lacey. Even I'm scared of telling the truth sometimes. Unlike you, I've never been the greatest at expressing my emotions out loud..." He took her hands in his, "I usually save that for songwriting."
He looked down for a moment, giving a short sigh, and then returning his gaze to hers. "Listen, Lace....I don't want you to do anything. All I want is for you to do whatever you want to do. You've got a bright, bright future ahead of you, and you have every right to pursue it." Every word that he spoke, he meant. Davey believed in freedom to its very core. He believed in freedom for Lacey, even if that meant he wouldn't get to be in the big picture next to her.
"But even though there's this future looming over the both of us, that still doesn't mean we can't live in the here and now." He gently stretched out her fingers in his, and kept opening and closing them. "Good chess players think three or four steps ahead. However, the great ones only need to think one. I believe that if we both want to stay as more than just friends, that's what we need to do. We just need to think only one step ahead, until we both come to the end of our trip." He rubbed his thumb against her cheek again, and intensely locked his gaze with hers. "We're just going to take it one day at a time, and test the waters together, just like we did at the beach. And whatever happens, happens...Okay?" He leaned in closer to her ear, and whispered.
"Whatever happens, happens."