In a way, Charlotte was right. A lot of the times, Alaina felt like the least liked child out of the family, especially next to her brother. Feeling like your parents had a favorite from time to time wasn't actually that weird as far as having siblings went, and objectively, Alaina could reason that her feelings were false and it wasn't like her parents were trying to get rid of her. Still, and especially with starting her treatment, she felt like the biggest burden in the family. She wasn't a complete victim, as she had been the instigator many times before and would continue to be one in the future, but that didn't mean that she wanted to always be on her parents bad side. Alaina still had no desire to be around her family at this second, but her current little rebellion was sufficient for _ reasons. One, it was basically harmless. Sure, it was a bit rude, but like with most parents, they knew when to take their losses, and Alaina did too. She knew she would catch flack for it when she got home, but her removing herself from their presence wasn't a big enough deal for her parents to flip out over. The second being that Alaina could only step out of line, especially in public, but so much. She might have still been mad at her mother, or maybe not even mad but just not ready to be over what happened this morning, but she couldn't totally lash out. She couldn't just down a bunch of alcohol (especially in front of dad) so casually, so to be visibly drunk would definitely be pushing things too far, and even Alaina knew when to push the limits and for what reasons. While she didn't think her feelings and frustration were totally unwarranted, she didn't think it was that big of a deal that she needed to embarrass her family and face huge repercussions for it. So yes, she probably would be a bit tamer today, and maybe even a smidge more simply because her removal from family affairs already had her in the orange zone.
Plus, like Charlotte mentioned, her sister would be in attendance. Besides not wanting Izzy to think anything was wrong, Alaina wasn't so selfish that she would actually do something seriously stupid in front of her younger sister. Still, though, that didn't mean that Alaina was going to just reject the margarita in front of her. It was the principle behind it, she told herself as she raised her glass. "I can't play the card until my family actually shows up so." She pressed the rim to her lips, downing some of the liquid in place of finishing her sentence. Family issues aside, Alaina wasn't trying to get crossed. If it was just going to be her tonight, and her family was elsewhere, she of course wouldn't mind getting tipsy on top of being high, but her buzz was good enough to suffice for the time being. In fact, between the two, Alaina should just stick to being high because that way she could still get her rebellion out, but without having to worry about the consequences that drinking alcohol could bring, like inevitably acting like a dumbass if she got too drunk. Right now, she just wanted those tacos and to lie down. The smell of the meat cooking only intensified her appetite, but being in front of Adeline did have her feeling a bit self-conscious. During the first meeting, Adeline had made a comment about Alaina being bulimic because Alaina wasn't skin and bones like a lot of the other girls there. It was a comment that needed to marinate with time to really feel the full weight of its impact. It wasn't something that was keeping her up at night, and Adeline wasn't even entirely incorrect because Alaina did have bulimic tendencies, but for some reason, she just couldn't shake the words, and the fact that she couldn't only bothered her more. Because it only seemed to actualize that she did have an unhealthy relationship with and concept of food and her body.
Being high, it was only natural that she would get the munchies, and she actually was quite hungry considering she hadn't touched food since this morning, but her eagerness did cause her the slightest bit of shame. Not enough for her to second guess eating, because she definitely wasn't going anywhere without eating at least one taco. Because she was buzzed, she could acknowledge these feelings but without actually caring enough to do anything about them. So in the back of her mind, she knew that she would instantly regret binging right now, and she knew she wasn't just doing it because she was hungry or high. Alaina knew just how shitty she would feel afterwards, and that was part of the reason why she was doing it, but also to prove to herself that it was all in her head, and that she could binge without feeling any repercussions, even if that was just wishful thinking to rationalize her actions, knowing how the end result would actually be. "If I do get too fucked up, I can't promise you that I won't dip into your bedroom and take a nap. So Naya, if you're gonna sub in for me, let me know because I might just eat these tacos and see y'all tomorrow," Alaina said, obviously joking, but anyone who knew Alaina knew she was shameless enough in that regard to not be totally kidding.
Plus, like Charlotte mentioned, her sister would be in attendance. Besides not wanting Izzy to think anything was wrong, Alaina wasn't so selfish that she would actually do something seriously stupid in front of her younger sister. Still, though, that didn't mean that Alaina was going to just reject the margarita in front of her. It was the principle behind it, she told herself as she raised her glass. "I can't play the card until my family actually shows up so." She pressed the rim to her lips, downing some of the liquid in place of finishing her sentence. Family issues aside, Alaina wasn't trying to get crossed. If it was just going to be her tonight, and her family was elsewhere, she of course wouldn't mind getting tipsy on top of being high, but her buzz was good enough to suffice for the time being. In fact, between the two, Alaina should just stick to being high because that way she could still get her rebellion out, but without having to worry about the consequences that drinking alcohol could bring, like inevitably acting like a dumbass if she got too drunk. Right now, she just wanted those tacos and to lie down. The smell of the meat cooking only intensified her appetite, but being in front of Adeline did have her feeling a bit self-conscious. During the first meeting, Adeline had made a comment about Alaina being bulimic because Alaina wasn't skin and bones like a lot of the other girls there. It was a comment that needed to marinate with time to really feel the full weight of its impact. It wasn't something that was keeping her up at night, and Adeline wasn't even entirely incorrect because Alaina did have bulimic tendencies, but for some reason, she just couldn't shake the words, and the fact that she couldn't only bothered her more. Because it only seemed to actualize that she did have an unhealthy relationship with and concept of food and her body.
Being high, it was only natural that she would get the munchies, and she actually was quite hungry considering she hadn't touched food since this morning, but her eagerness did cause her the slightest bit of shame. Not enough for her to second guess eating, because she definitely wasn't going anywhere without eating at least one taco. Because she was buzzed, she could acknowledge these feelings but without actually caring enough to do anything about them. So in the back of her mind, she knew that she would instantly regret binging right now, and she knew she wasn't just doing it because she was hungry or high. Alaina knew just how shitty she would feel afterwards, and that was part of the reason why she was doing it, but also to prove to herself that it was all in her head, and that she could binge without feeling any repercussions, even if that was just wishful thinking to rationalize her actions, knowing how the end result would actually be. "If I do get too fucked up, I can't promise you that I won't dip into your bedroom and take a nap. So Naya, if you're gonna sub in for me, let me know because I might just eat these tacos and see y'all tomorrow," Alaina said, obviously joking, but anyone who knew Alaina knew she was shameless enough in that regard to not be totally kidding.