Age: 16
Gender: Female
Phobia: Actually, Alice's mental issues are just a mite more complicated than a phobia. She suffers from Insipid Schizotypal Personality Disorder, a psychological condition somewhat similar to schizophrenia, while not actually manifesting the main, most severe symptoms of that condition. This disorder, characterized by vagueness, social isolation, timidity, fear of other people, magical thinking and fantasies which sometimes can even lead to pseudo-psychotic episodes consisting of hallucinations, depersonalization and derealization, as well as a lack of self-identity, depression, almost obsessive-compulsive self-esteem and dependence issues, and intense paranoia, ended up getting her sent to the academy, largely due to the latter two symptoms. In Alice's case, it's almost as though what she's most afraid of is reality itself, if not simply humanity in general.
Hair Color: A vibrant shade of bubblegum pink. Apparently, it's actually her natural hair color, although how that came to pass is a mystery.
Eye Color: Dark blue.
Height: Five feet, five inches.
Relationship: Single and heterosexual, although this latter distinction is largely arbitrary rather than being given through any overwhelming personal preference. She just feels like, should she ever fall in love, it should be with a member of the opposite gender. To every Cinderella, there's supposed to be a Prince. That's just how it works. Consequently, other relationships are anathema to her, even though she has no real preference on the matter in regards to other people. However, due to her quirky nature, most people wouldn't think of approaching her romantically, and even if they did, they'd very likely be rejected for some strange reason or another, most usually something strange along the lines of a sagely shaking of her head and a bizarre explanation. "Your soul cannot connect to mine. Hence, you are an unsuitable partner. I apologize, but I must wait until I find my destined companion before I consider such an otherwise fragile and fleeting arrangement," is the usual.
Personality: Some would call Alice "unique." Others might call her "bizarre." Still others might call her "insane." In any case, there's seldom a person who doesn't agree on one fact: Alice is most definitely not normal, and her thought processes are no exception. Still, exactly how strange she is depends somewhat on how many times one encounters her. Diversity in situations helps as well, as it goes to show exactly how truly unusual her responses to seemingly normal scenarios.
Upon first meeting her, one will mostly find that Alice seems somewhat passive-aggressive and antisocial. Her face seems like a blank mask, and, while remaining uncannily calm, she has a tendency to prod other people with very uncomfortable questions, or remarks that might be sarcastic but, given the straight face with which she delivers them, it's impossible to tell if she's joking or not. Furthermore, she is tremendously cryptic and evasive, dodging any and all questions about herself and seeming very nervous in relation to just about anything in the area, especially loud sounds, nearby people, or suspicious and unexplained movements. In short, she seems like some sort of loner, but does her best to hide her paranoia behind a mask of composure and normality - or, at least, as close as she comes to it. In any case, there's no doubt that her speech and actions are carefully thought out before being performed. It's just that it's not always obvious where that train of thought begins or ends, and what steps were taken in between those two points. In short, her actions seem to be weighed on a completely different, but nonetheless methodical, basis from those of other people.
But, the more she's pressed into socializing, the more quirky and unusual she becomes. She begins to seem distant, staring off into space and doing her best to avoid talking at all, fading into the background of large groups. Oftentimes, when pressed to speak up, she'll start as though suddenly awakening from a particularly vivid dream. And, even when she actually does talk to others, she alternatively acts as though she's half-asleep, or like a cornered animal, frightened and confused. Even when calm, she does her best to immediately escape from any sort of human interaction, and people even getting close to her is enough to set her off, even if she tries to remain composed about it. Growing progressively more and more paranoid the more stress she's under, she begins to retreat within her own shell, and eventually goes so far that she snaps back into being calm again. Or rather, she becomes almost entirely unresponsive, her perceptions fading into a world of her own making. When she does speak up or act in any way, it's almost always in relation to bizarre and unreal concepts like magic, or in response to questions never asked or people not there. On a good day, these episodes of derealization simply result in her responding to most situations with magical or impossible explanations, in which she quite evidently believes wholeheartedly and unshakably. When she's particularly stressed or having a paranoid or depressive phase, however, it's almost as though she becomes comatose, or shell-shocked, and hides away from reality entirely.
Even when people grow close to her - a rare feat only ever attained through either a lucky coincidence that appeals to her superstitious nature, or through excessive and extensive kindness to her - there's a definite disconnect between herself and them. She never speaks about herself if she can help it, and always tries to avoid physical contact or proximity to even her close friends. She spares them none of her usual cryptic, subtle, and usually very, very convoluted bits of wit, often remaining just as enigmatic and confusing even to those she's willing to interact with by choice rather than only through gravest nessecity. Yet, in her own unique way, she shows her gratitude for the support of anyone willing to tolerate and to be kind to her for long enough to gain her trust. Interspersed amidst her usual vague, distant actions are brief flashes of emotion. Genuine, happy smiles, laughter at amusing jokes - those which she actually perceives as such, that is, as her sense of humor is somewhat disconnected from the norm, as previously stated - or, conversely, even rarer than shows of happiness, she will let those closest to her understand when she feels sad, although she never shows it outright, always trying to hide and keep her sorrows pent up so as not to bother those around her. Similarly, some of her quirks will be put fully on display, like superstitious practices implemented into the most fundamental of daily routines, bizarre and seemingly whimsical courses of action like "taking a right turn when I usually go left, because it's the third Tuesday of the month and it rained yesterday," or other such unusual displays like spontaneous, very earnest questions on philosophy or human nature, or randomly naming animals she comes across and talking to them as though they were both people and old acquaintances. And, if the person in question is a particularly supportive individual whose opinion she particularly values, Alice will show exactly how highly she holds their opinion, not through any direct action or statement testifying to such, but rather through her sometimes tremendous overreactions to such things' absence. She does not take criticism well from anyone, particularly those she holds dear, something which is just a symptom of her greater insecurities.
Hidden out of fear of these things being discovered, Alice is actually almost entirely lacking in self-esteem, and feels as though she is helpless and incapable of doing anything herself. Due to this self-loathing, combined with her overwhelming fear of other people, she believes that she's somehow inadequate in comparison to them, and will, without fail, always be hated because of this. Not wanting to be hurt or to be a bother to the other people she projects her idealized, competent self onto, she simply withdraws from social situations as quickly as possible, cutting her ties with others and retreating into isolation. Whenever she feels threatened, if she can't escape physically, she escapes mentally, withdrawing into a vivid world she's created inside her own mind. It's because of this fantasy that she believes so firmly in the supernatural - because, quite simply, she WANTS to believe. Reality scares her, since, in her own mind, it's something she quite simply can't live up to. And so, she runs away, rejecting reality and substituting her own as a means of compensating for her own perceived inadequacy. And, if it's some other person, her carefully crafted exterior, that is shunned and isolated, then that means, in some sense, she's not the one being hurt, right? But even through these means, she still can't get away from one inescapable factor of her personality: desperately, she also wants other people to care about and to respect her. She's willing to settle for just being tolerated if it means that someone will actually pay attention to her. Perhaps this is another reason why she initially took up her fantastical beliefs and her bizarre demeanor: as a cry for help, a plea for somebody to notice and care about her. But, because of this intense need for someone to look up to, for someone to hold her hand and assuage her fears, she's also particularly acute when it comes to just the opposite. Something that might be perceived as an insult, even one given entirely in jest, would be enough to terrify Alice into swiftly leaving, and, if it came from a person whose opinion she cherished, it would probably be enough to cause her to cry, although not in front of that person. And, if someone were to become angry at her, or to give her a tongue-lashing about some sort of failure, she'd probably break down. But worst of all is that most hated of stigmata: being called crazy, or insane. She knows full well she has problems. She doesn't need other people to point that out to her. When they do, it's like saying they've seen completely through her, and through everything she is. That prospect is terrifying enough to shatter her completely, to the point that, if someone she truly admired called her "insane," she'd treat it as a sign of abandonment, and of her own absolute failure as a human being. At that point, her mind would probably shut down completely, or worse, she'd plunge into a despair she would likely never recover from.
Aside from these more grave issues, however, Alice's self-esteem issues also manifest in an almost obsessive-compulsive devotion to her own appearance. She takes showers at least twice a day, if not more, and practices hygiene to the point of absurdity, cleaning - for a certain definition of the term - her room in a ridiculously frequent basis, washing her clothes several times before actually wearing them, etcetera. Any sort of blemish is eradicated before it can begin to form, and any flaw in her impeccable appearance is always corrected immediately. This habit is only overridden by higher-priority personality traits. So, for example, she'd be willing to jump off a rooftop into a pile of leaves or hay, mussing herself up in the process and probably getting latched onto by countless tiny insects, if she thought that doing so would allow her to learn to eventually violate gravity through willpower and learn to fly. There is one thing that this trait almost never gives ground on, however, and that is a series of pale red lines of varying length and size intersecting across her back and sides, forming a completely random grid of warped, wounded and then healed flesh. These cutting scars, numbering over a dozen, several of which are quite prominent, are a permanent blemish on her image that cause her no end of disgrace and anguish. They're one of her darkest secrets, and because of her fear that they'll be discovered, she never, ever reveals the sight of her scarred back to anyone, to the extent that she'd probably be less embarrassed if a boy saw her naked but didn't notice her back and sides than she would if anyone ever caught so much as a glimpse of even one of her scars. Although, this is perhaps a bad example, as her sense of sexuality is somewhat vague, and she doesn't really seem to observe much difference between males and females. In any case, her body is quite the shocking sight, to be sure. From just one look, one can tell that she must have been cut repeatedly, and in close to the same places, over a great deal of time, only to be allowed to recover, then wounded again. If it were assumed that all of her scars had been given her at the same time, then she most certainly could not have survived them, from blood loss alone.
On a few final notes, Alice's psychological condition also manifests in a few other bizarre ways. For example, her mind has a tendency to dwell excessively upon very morbid matters, such as personal failures or possible, albeit absurd negative outcomes to otherwise perfectly normal situations. Oftentimes, these paranoid fantasies are treated with a sense of apathy, despite the truly shocking, and often either violent or sexual nature of their contents. Actually, it's because of these strange imaginings, which she oftentimes repeats as though blissfully unaware of how grisly they are, that some people have her pegged as anything from a closet psychopath to an incredibly perverted, masochistic sexual deviant. In reality, the truth is made up by less of any of these understandable but incorrect conclusions than it is by the fact that Alice is just plain abnormal.
Another byproduct of her paranoia partially related to this first tendency. Due to her habit of forecasting possible bad events in her future, as well as her issues talking to other people, she ended up starting a diary that is just as strange as she is. Saved in a text program on her smart phone, it catalogs several different alternate strings of events in her future before they actually occur, listing countless, very thorough paths that the future might take. Oftentimes, these predictions can come days in advance, so that by the time the day actually comes, she has at least a dozen plans for how it might unfold, which she can then follow and jump between in accordance with predicted events from each "route" occurring. For example, if she predicted first that she would run out of drinks in her mini-fridge in one route, but then predicted that she'd crash into someone while walking in the hallway in a completely different route, then was crashed into on her way to get more soft drinks, she would jump over from the first predicted course of actions to the second, and follow through on her plans for that scenario instead. In general, however, her predictions aren't exactly what you'd call healthy. More often than not, there is only one "Good Ending" amidst all of her plans, while over a dozen horrible fates await her should she follow unwanted trains of events leading to "Bad Endings." Consequently, she actively uses her diary as a means of anticipating these usually illusory threats, and avoiding them as best she can. This leads to some interesting side-effects, however. For example, due to her fear of social interaction, if she predicts she'll run into someone, she feels desperately and obsessively compelled to plan out whatever interactions might follow, listing advice for actions and suggestions in her diary along with the prediction, according to how exactly she thinks things will unfold. Because of this, during conversations, many times she'll suddenly flip open her phone and start reading from its screen for advice when she feels overwhelmed or unsure of what to do, often resulting in very confusing situations.
Finally, for whatever random reason, she ended up taking in a random stray black cat she found one day. He's very healthy, and rather young, and lives in her dormitory with her. Although often the subject of many strange, although harmless experiments performed by his curious owner, he's well cared for, and a very valuable companion of Alice, who speaks to him like he was a person quite frequently, or, if she's bored, starts talking to him in meows for variety's sake. According to Alice, he gives her advice sometimes, and, if she's to be believed, it's always very wise council that should be followed without question. Admittedly, sometimes it's just an avenue by which she makes suggestions of her own, but the cat understands this, and isn't angered by it. As a reference in keeping with her own name, she calls him "Cheshire."
Likes
- Reading books, especially fantasy novels. Her room is full of them, and it's a beloved hobby of hers. Oftentimes, she'll finish a whole book in a single day.
- Drawing pictures. Another skill and precious pastime of hers, the sketches she draws are things she's very self-conscious about, but they're surprisingly good, albeit oftentimes rather surreal, and sometimes a little bit disturbing.
- Cooking. This hobby isn't so much one she's unfortunately bad at as one made rather frightening by her own bizarre preferences and curiosity. Most dishes she creates are completely improvised, and, while prepared well enough, consist of so many bizarre ingredients and to result in something between "unusual" and "unspeakable."
- Playing the piano. She's decent, and likes writing her own music, but, although her songs are beautiful once she can actually decide upon what it is she's playing, they oftentimes wander seemingly randomly as new inspiration strikes her, violating most rules of music theory several times in the process. But, as per usual, she's very self-conscious about her work, and doesn't like to show it.
- Singing. This is another field in which she's surprisingly talented, and she sometimes makes up words for her songs, even improvising them on the spot on occasion, although she's not so good at this, as her words quickly tend to devolve into nonsense for the sake of matching her own convoluted beat, mood, rhymes, and trains of thought. Again, she rarely does this for anyone.
- Quiet solitude, ideally shared with one, and only one person about whom Alice cares deeply, and who can understand her and assuage her fears like nobody else can. Since this fantasy is far out of reach, however, she'll settle for just sitting alone and imagining what she'd do if such a miracle came to pass.
- Tea, as well as most other caffeinated drinks. Especially soda.
Dislikes
- People. Actually, it's not so much she dislikes people, persay. Rather, she's simply terrified by them. Due to her crippling inferiority complex and paranoia, she finds interaction with fellow humans nigh impossible save in her fantasies.
- Herself. Be it her appearance, her personality, her life, or anything pertaining to it, what she hates above all else is her own inadequacy when compared to other people.
- The laws of physics. It's hard to live out your fantasies when reality keeps you down, and the world is really hard to ignore sometimes. Walking through walls is a lot more painful than it looks.
- Being called insane. This is arguably what she hates more than anything else. She'd be less depressed if her closest friend literally put a knife in her back than she would if that same friend told her she was crazy, because she'd at least be expecting that.
History: Alice's life is the perfect example of a seemingly normal existence that was turned completely upside down, and broken down to its most fundamental pieces, then reconstructed in a caricature of what it had once been. From the very start, however, there were many things wrong that contributed to her problems later on in life. Her father was a very distant individual from her, to start with. Being a prosperous businessman, he ended up largely staying out of home life, spending an overwhelming number of hours either managing his company or traveling on a multitude of business trips. And, although he dearly loved his young daughter and would spend time with her when he could, he was still very often gone, leaving Alice all alone with her mother. This, as it later became evident, was a very bad arrangement.
Alice's mother, Namine F. Whyte, had several genetic traits that caused her to be naturally inclined towards several dangerous mental conditions that went unnoticed until far too late. Intensely, almost psychotically devoted to her husband - something she masked entirely too well - when he began to work longer and harder for the sake of their daughter, she felt like she was being cast aside in favor of Alice, who she felt was inferior to herself and undeserving of the attention she was "taking away" from Namine. And so, over time, Alice's mother came to hate her with an unreasonable passion. First she became dismissive, then she became derisive, and finally, she became outright abusive, punishing her daughter for the smallest infractions, and in entirely unreasonable ways. And yet, even though Alice became a terrified, paranoid, self-hating shell of her former self, her father rarely returned. This, finally, drove Namine to the point at which she could rightfully be called insane. For each day that her husband ignored her, she carved another mark across her daughter's back as punishment. Alice was too frightened of what her mother would do if she revealed what had been happening, and, being far too young to understand the situation, ended up coming to the conclusion that she deserved this, that even standing up for herself was wrong. Confused, afraid, and in constant pain, she simply tried to fake being alright as best she could, for her father's sake if not for her own. Naturally, this was far less than successful, and eventually, despite her attempts to hide them out of fear, her scars were discovered, reported, and the truth behind them was uncovered. Her mother was committed to a mental institution, while her father, who had failed to prevent the situation, and whose absentee parenting, also, was discovered, was fined heavily for neglect, and had his daughter taken out of his custody. Alice never heard from nor saw him again, no matter how much she wanted to stay with him, for she was forcibly taken away despite her protestations, and the man, left destitute by the charges imposed, and in despair from the loss of his daughter and the betrayal of his wife, committed suicide shortly after.
Alice was then left alone, at the tender age of 11. Although she was placed in the care of a stern, yet kind family, and set up for regular sessions with a therapist to help her cope with the trauma she had endured, it was too little, too late to undo the damage that had already been done. Her already active imagination spiraled out of control, and her low self-esteem simply faded from existence entirely. Although on the surface she was a relatively normal, if isolated and somewhat troubled child, both the abuse and neglect in her past, as well as her mother's genes ended up taking a permanent hold on her, turning her into the quirky, strange person she is today. Not helping things was the fact that, due to the publicity of her troubled childhood and the delicate treatment she was always given, not to mention her own abnormality, she ended up labeled as "the insane girl." When she wasn't treated with a level of pity that shattered what was left of her sense of self-reliance, or coddled into further cementing her belief in her own selfishness, she was avoided or outright bullied. Her adoptive siblings were the main instigators of this, who, growing angry at how she seemed to be spoiled in comparison to them, ended up tormenting her further when nobody was watching. Battered, broken, and bowed at last into submission, Alice ended up the tragic shell she is at the current date. Feeling like she was wasting the man's time due to her inability to trust him, she quit on her therapist, only to be forced to go to meetings with another, supposedly better professional. This turned out in much the same manner as the first, however, and bit by bit, Alice simply gave up on reality, isolating herself completely out of fear of the world. Locking herself in her room, she came out only to eat, then swiftly withdrew into the safety of her own four walls once more, no matter how much coaxing or scolding was attempted to get her out. Actually, these things just made her feel worse, as she was forcibly reminded that she was failing those who cared about her, but was too scared and powerless to change that fact.
Eventually, one of her old therapists, wanting to help the traumatized girl, suggested Phobos Academy, which she had done well enough in school - for a "crazy person," her grades were incredibly high due to her sense of needing to meet up to other people's expectations - to be given a scholarship into, and, to everyone's surprise, she reluctantly accepted. In her own reasoning, it was a school for people that were all afraid of something like her. A school for people that were "abnormal," or "crazy" by the rest of the world's standards. Being a faraway boarding school, it would allow her to escape from her current bullies, and, if she simply ran away enough, from anyone who might try to hurt her there, as well. And, being suddenly given this opportunity, she couldn't help but feel that it was fate at work. And so, she reluctantly left her home, traveling to a place that might very well change her life forever.
Others: Her dormitory room contains a piano, a large book of drawing paper, an easel and paints, as well as several other pieces of art equipment such as colored pencils and sketchbooks. Aside from this, she is also in possession of a mini-fridge and a small kitchen set. Her room's only decorations consist of two things: massive stacks of unshelved books of every size, making, and age, and a truly staggering collection of stuffed animals that expands wildly to cover almost every surface. Rabbits, bears, elephants, tigers... You name it, she has a stuffed doll or plushie of it, many of them seated in a bizarre fashion in fancy chairs and outfits, or at elegantly set out tea-tables. Many of them even have names and "personalities" of their own, most following a specific theme. A large, suited rabbit known as "Mr. White Rabbit," a ragged human-shaped doll in a suit and tophat known as "Mr. Mad Hatter," a second rabbit known as "March Hare..." Being named after its main character, Alice in Wonderland is her very favorite book, and she often blurs the lines between that fiction - a story about her, as she calls it - and her own reality, in exactly such a manner.
On a final note, Alice's voice is somewhat high-pitched, going rather well with her very mousy, nervous appearance, but she always speaks in low tones, making it seem surprisingly deep. This carries over into her singing, which is over a surprising vocal range.