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Jacob Sorata Misaki

"I've learned in life that sometimes you can't hold on to what you want most, while at the same time the things you hate just won't go away..."

0 · 311 views · located in Phobos Academy

a character in “Phobos Academy”, as played by AuraRift

Description

Name: Jacob Sorata Misaki

Age: 16

Gender: Male

Phobia:
Autophobia: Fear of being alone and of oneself.
Spectrophobia: Fear of mirrors and ones own reflection.
Chronophobia: Fear of time moving forward aswell as the things time moving forward will change.

Hair color: Auburn

Eye color: Alternating, a rare birth defect causes them to slowly change from blue to red and vice versa.

Height:5'6

Relationship: Single / No current crush / Straight


Personality:

Jacob tends to be polite and formal upon meeting most everyone, Jacob seems to be the kind of guy who accepts others for who they are and nothing else. He'd like to think he's that way too... but deep down he knows he has the habit of judging others harshly. For every little mistake they make or flaw they have... he notices it... he rarely mentions it. But he notices. He was cursed from an early age with an extraordinary gift. The gift to see beyond the painted shells and masks that people wear, to notice the small things about the World itself and understand their intricacies, to get people to open up to him. Sometimes he feels he knows the people around him better than he knows himself. Noteworthy however is that he is NOT some kind of super hero, he does not have the ability to read minds... or see the future... or even anticipate others actions to the tee. He is just incredibly perceptive. The faintest smiles, the lightest laughs, the single tears and the self hating rows. He notices all of them. This perception of others and the World used to please him. He could tell when people were lying roughly seventy five percent of the time, he was able to force people into talking about their problems and sorting them out since he probably already picked up on something about them already, he was able to see difficult problems as simple riddles and understand the greater philisophical theories of the World at a much younger age then almost all others. He viewed his genius like perception as a gift.

Until he turned that perception to that which is totally impossible for him to totally understand. The flow of time itself and his own incredible mind. He views himself and what he can do with disgust. To view oneself and know all of ones flaws totally... it isn't a pleasant feeling. Every mistake he makes, every imperfection he has, every time he fumbles, stumbles or messes up generally. He instantly knows what he has done wrong. How stupid he has been for doing it and how he could have done it better. He doubts himself, bullies himself, every thought about himself is a bad one. Every step he takes is a mistake in his own eyes and it terrifies him. Eventually he ended up developing autophobia, fearing being alone with his thoughts and fearing himself in general. This led to his spectrophobia, as facing his own reflection forces him to face his own flaws. He prefers to be with other people as it keeps him away from himself... so much so that it has developed into a full out fear of being alone.

When with others he acts as he always has. Happy, outgoing, strong-willed, yet polite, a leader willing to wait for others to walk alongside him. He likes to motivate people when they're down and encourage others to conquer anything that troubles them. He loves to focus on others to make them see the brighter side and to embrace themselves and defeat their flaws. He is in essence a motivator. However when alone... his personality totally flips. He gets moody and aggressive towards new people. He hates and fears his own mind and tries talking to himself as a distraction. He has one other phobia worth mentioning, chronophobia, the fear of time moving forward aswell as the things time moving forward will change. This is a phobia that is always there... even more so when he is with others rather than when he is alone. A constant voice in his head... a reminder that the happy times whenever he may have them always come to an end. That the progression of time will always seperate him from those he cares about leading him to the eventual bitter lonely experience of his death. That true happiness is just a lie told by time to make passing through it easier. Knowing that and thinking on all that has happened to him so far (using his advanced perception to do so) it combines all of his fears and if let continue he will proceed to his state of "breakdown".

When Jacob reaches a "breakdown" state due to his three phobias piling up he is forced into a completely terrified position, a few symptoms of this will act as a warning.
-Jacob will fall to his kness.
-He will gain a glassy empty look in his already fearful eyes.
-His lip will quiver.
-He'll begin to mumble, so quietly you can barely hear, but if listened to closely he's trying to convince himself everything will be alright.
-If left in this state without any outside help, he will burst into hysteria, crying uncontrollably until he is calmed down in some way shape or form.

Likes:
-Other people.
-Helping others.
-Making a good impression.
-Being happy.
-Losing himself in the moment.
-Public speaking.
-Cooking. (Surprisingly enough)

Dislikes:
-Himself.
-Being alone.
-Being hated. (Though it is not a phobia)
-Being afraid.
-Boredom. (It leads to bad thoughts)
-Mirrors.
-The flow of time.


History:

Jacob was a boy with the mind of a man. That was what they called him in his early years, he seemed the natural born leader and a mature and perceptive individual from as early an age as six. He always surprised and brought a smile to the faces of adults he talked to. Able to comprehend and understand advanced conversations at an extraordinarily young age. He started by focusing his gaze on the World itself, being a child he found it was important to learn as much about the Earth around him as he could before he focused on anything else. He took great interest in learning of how things worked... how the Worlds most complex things actually functioned... he didn't know what it would do to him... He learned of many things, how plants and animals lived grew and died... the differences between these deaths and lifespans and what it all meant. Eventually his mind reached one particular topic. Time. He wasn't so frightened at first... the idea that this invisible force would push the World forward on its own accord was frightening yes but he found it more interesting than anything. How time would take something and slowly wear it away until there was nothing left... like an incurable disease. He didn't truly fear it until one night roughly two years ago. He woke up in a startled sweat, tears rolling down his face. His mind had shown him something... what the future would hold not just for him but for everyone... a perceptive realisation mind you, not a vision. He saw time kill him and watched as he faded from existence... all the happy times that he had leading up to nothing but an inevitable death and he... would be forgotten. He held his sides and cried, hysteria breaching his mind. His parents rushed into the room to find him lying there, covered in cold sweat and tears... absolutely terrified.

He was diagnosed as having chronophobia a week later. His parents kept his mind off of it distracting him and spending time with him. He forgot about his minds perceptive nature for a little while and he was happy. However eventually he remembered, who he was and what his perception showed him... it wouldn't just go away. But focusing on the ways of the World? He couldn't do that anymore... he was afraid to. So he turned his gift in a different direction. Focusing on the one thing he knew he could trust, something real, something he could touch, something he could see. People. He learnt the true extent of his perception in this way. He learned of peoples emotions, their ins and outs, their positives and negatives, their flaws and perfections, their triumphs and imperfections. He helped them to face themselves, he talked to them, he helped them, it made him forget about time and the World and he was happy again. But just like he had learned and as he would soon be reminded... happiness to him, was nothing but a lie.

As he viewed people he eventually began to wonder... "What of myself? What am I?" He knew he was different and this interested him. "What are my flaws he thought?" He saw them. He foolishly looked into his own mind and saw the mistakes and regrets he bore with disturbing clarity. Everything about himself revealed in an instant. He reeled back... it wasn't something he wanted to see. He had made a mistake he realised. He took a step back and slipped. Thoughts rushed through his head... wrong foot placement, foolish clumsiness, pathetic lack of balance, idiotic fear. He put another foot back and managed to hastily stop himself from falling... But even that movement seemed wrong to him. More flaws rushing through his mind like a torrential river. He placed his hands over his ears and begged the words to stop, but no one can block out the voices in their own mind. In that moment as if in an attempt to shield himself, he looked away turning to the right only to come face to face with his own reflection. A mirror, placed upon the wall. He saw a boy, tears in his eyes, hands on his ears, crying because the voices in his head wouldn't shut up. "Lunatic... psychopath... sociopathic freak..." His mind screamed at him and his hands fell to his sides as he himself fell to his knees. Happiness... his happiness had been short lived. Time had moved forward and now he had seen the truth in the World and in himself at once. Tears fell more quickly from his eyes and he felt his lungs ache as he began to scream.

Some time passed and Jacob was now sixteen, sitting behind another desk with his parents, facing another doctor. Autophobia... and due to the unfortunate circumstances of his episode, spectrophobia also. Jacobs parents, the doctor and Jacob himself... all four sat in solemn silence for a few moments. Jacob felt only one thing... hopeless. His parents began to discuss with the doctor the delicate issue of paying for Jacobs therapy... he knew they couldn't afford it. Jacob hung his head low, there seemed to be no options left for him or his parents. The perception he thought of as a gift was more a curse to him than anything. In that single moment Jacob was about to let go. To give up and accept a cruel and fearful life. When suddenly he heard his mother speak with a burst of curiosity. "What's this?" His Father chimed in aswell. "How do you pronounce that? Po...bo...fo?" Jacob looked up from his depressed position and picked up a brochure the doctor had placed on the table. "Phobos... academy...?" He murmured. "Phobos Academy is right m'boy!" The doctor said with a tone of happiness. "It's a private school situated on a peaceful island. It's designed for people with similar conditions to you... to help them conquer their fears and live happily." He explained. It was within his parents price range... the long term worries of continuous therapy out the window. "Live... happily..." He thought. But wasn't happiness to him just a phase in time?... If that was what he let himself believe he realised, then that is exactly what it would be. This "Phobos Academy" was Jacobs only chance. He had to take it or else he would suffer with his fear... forever. "Doctor..." Jacob murmured a slight smile forming on his face. "Where do I sign up?"

Others: He has mild asthma, for which he always carries a brown inhaler.


Gallery:

Image

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So begins...

Jacob Sorata Misaki's Story

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Character Portrait: Alice L. Whyte Character Portrait: Jacob Sorata Misaki
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Jacob looked at Alice with wide eyes as she walked beside him. She looked as if for the first time since Jacob had met her she was connected to reality and truly admiring the scenes and images of the garden around her. Her expression was clear for once and she showed a subtle happiness in her general demeanor. The fact that this had come to light pleased Jacob greatly, knowing that she was she was actually "there", truly connected to the reality around her and happy to do so, it was nice that Jacob had brought her somewhere to experience that and he felt a small sense of pride in the knowledge that he had done something right. Jacob had certainly taken a liking to Alice, her methods and means of everything she did were unusual and strange for certain and the average person he knew would surely have been driven away entirely. Jacob, however, was not an average person. In these ways of hers he found interest and intelligence, seeing that Alice, although d=slightly dreamy and distant, knew more about the world and seemed to have a more solid idea of it than most people, wether the idea was right or not was irrelevant to him, simply meeting someone who had a view on things and wasn't afraid to express it... It was nice, refreshing even, never mind her strangeness, after all almost everybody at Phobos was surely strange in one way or another, it was why they were there in the first place.

"They say fairies live in places where there is a great deal of life," Alice said, her face not altering in the slightest from a straight visage. Jacob thought momentarily about that. "Perhaps they are, after all people rarely pay attention to such places nowadays, so it would be an appropriate place to live in peace." He responded, deciding that rather than think too deeply into her words he would simply respond to them. "If I stayed in a place like this long enough, would I become a fairy? Or maybe I'd just grow roots and become a tree... What do you think it's like? Being a tree, I mean." Alice continued. Jacob frowned briefly, *Stayed like this?* He thought, he couldn't grasp exactly what she was referring to, however she had asked him a question and as such he would answer.

As if by perfect chance they passed a grotto of trees then, in the center stood a tall oak tree long gone and long dead, it sat in the grotto clearing alone with other living and green trees surrounding it, just in sight yet still too far away. Jacob approached the tree and looked up at it. "You know Alice..." He said thoughtfully. "I think in a way humans are very like trees anyway... yet totally different aswell... We can't decide where we start our lives, how we grow, who we're with..." He paused slightly as he looked up at the gnarled branches atop the tree. "Or what we become... sometimes we don't grow right and we're left alone in the world, surrounded by other trees who want nothing to do with us..." He paused again and turned to face her. "But unlike trees we can move, we're people, we can go other places meet others like ourselves others who'll accept and help us, others who we can accept and help, trees can't do that." He walked back over to her. "To answer your question I think being a tree would be like being a person... with no real choice on how your life begins, only more depressing as unlike people, as life goes on, you can't do anything to change it. At least that's what I think..." He sighed slightly and grinned awkwardly. "But here I go on another over dramatic over explanatory rant eh?" He put a hand onto the back of his head and laughed lightly.

His eyes turned inquisitive then however and he looked up at Alice with a question of his own. "But what about you Alice? What do you think it would be like, being a tree, or maybe even being a fairy?" He stopped walking for a moment to hear her answer, interested in the girls view on the matter.

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Character Portrait: Alice L. Whyte Character Portrait: Jacob Sorata Misaki
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"Like this," Alice repeated in response to the boy's confusion, as though this somehow explained everything, sounding almost condescending as she gave another would-be wise smile and hopped a few times up and down, as though to indicate the cobble path beneath her feet. "Standing. On the ground. In the same place. Forever." In quick succession, she began to add more and more descriptors to what was now quite obvious, and didn't really need them. Undeterred by this, however, she simply continued with her little tangent.

"How else would I become a tree? If I grew roots, I would have to stay still and let them sink into the ground, or else they wouldn't serve any purpose. Like legs that don't work. Oh, wait. That was probably offensive to crippled people. Are you crippled? You don't look like it. I suppose that means I didn't offend you. But you do seem to be the type to be offended easily. Or, at least, you're not very laid back. I would know. I'm an expert on being laid back. Would you like me to teach you how- Oh." Alice's usual monotone slipped first into a sort of sly manner that seemed to but might not have actually implied a joke, then to an attitude that might have been called "sage" - if it had been a little less half-baked. Finally, she simply trailed off into silence, since it seemed like Jacob was interested in other things at the moment, something even she, unfocused though she might have seemed, picked up on. And so, she remained silent, standing stock still as though she was trying to test her theory of treeification, and listening to her companion speak with a demeanor somewhere between innocent, vague curiosity and that of a sleepwalker.

"I think," Alice began at last, her expression shifting into one of intense contemplation, bearing an air of seriousness that bordered on distress. "That I should not like to become a tree, after all. Or maybe I already am one. Do I look like a tree to you?" This last comment was, despite the quiet, calm, yet somehow piercingly poignant tone of voice it had been delivered in, more so than anything else she had yet said, directed with an unprecedented level of earnestness towards Jacob. Alice's face bore a painfully complicated expression, and her deep blue eyes had fully focused directly upon his face, yet bore a sad look that might have been compared to the visage of a lost puppy. It was almost like the question she had just asked was some sort of convoluted call for help, or for reassurance. For reasons that would not be readily apparent to Jacob, it seemed that his depressing explanation of things had resonated deeply with the strange pink-haired girl, and, for whatever those reasons might be, it troubled her greatly.

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Character Portrait: Alice L. Whyte Character Portrait: Jacob Sorata Misaki
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Jacob tilted his head at Alice, slightly confused by her question. "Do you... look like a tree to me?" He repeated slowly, as if weighing out just how deeply she wanted the question answered. All the possible answers, the literal and non-literal meanings swirling through his mind at exponential rates. His confusion only growing and his brow furrowing as he examined Alice. He had never actually tried to fully examine her, he understood that he had taken a few mere glances at her but they were based on normal reactions and Alice.... didn't give normal reactions. It was strange he had to admit, that such an innocent and random discussion, that lead to such an innocent and random question, would be what finally drove Jacob to try to attempt a full psycho analysis of Alice Yet here he was, his mind buzzing with all he knew of the girl up to that point, which admittedly wasn't alot, but it was enough that he had a very basic comprehension of the thought stream she worked on. So... he analysed her, to try and give her an answer he looked into her with eyes draped with a serious perception that gave them the visage of a sharp stare.

"Do you... hmm..." Jacob murmured, Alice was very different to people he usually associated with, her mind worked on different inconsistent pathways. While one minute she could be jumping up in place describing the purpose of roots while in the next she could be looking upon him with a face that showed deep and difficult complication, her blue eyes focusing intently on his face, wearing the emotion of sadness well. She swapped between reality and thought so fluently and unexpectedly, such as being in a daydream yet still snapping glasses from his hand with pinpoint precision. Sometimes she would emulate them both at the same time... following him intently and perfectly, yet staring into relative space as if her attention was somewhere else entirely. Jacobs expression became very troubled, the expression of someone who was seeing or realising something they didn't want to. He was tossing around ideas of Alices psyche in his mind, words and thoughts crossing and mingling as if desperately trying to put to words, to understand how she thought, to put a label on it, to anticipate her mind, her decisions, like he did with so many "normal" people. But he couldn't, he couldn't understand her, not yet, her mind was too unique, too different and strange to other peoples, it wasn't like what he usually analysed. It kept moving through topics, never staying in the one place for too long and... Jacobs thought process halted and for a brief moment he stared completely blankly into Alice's eyes.

Then he smiled. A wide smile and an earnest one to meet Alice's near desperate expression. He knew the answer to her question.

"Nope." He spoke cheerily. "Not one little bit. In body or in mind. You're not a tree, not to me anyway." He was very pleased with himself, to come up with even the smallest observation on such a confusing person as Alice. He didn't understand her fully... not even close, he thought that he maybe would someday but as of that moment he most certainly did not. However he had been overthinking it again and in the end, the answer to Alice's question was so simple that it brought a smile to his face.

"Trees are boring." He spoke plainly, yet his grin still remained. "They just stay in the one place all the time, focusing on the one thing... staying in the same place and while I don't know THAT much about you... I don't think you're like that. You're interesting. I'll admit, you confuse me greatly..." He trailed off for a moment. "But that's not a bad thing, it means you actually give me a nice, unpredictable, interesting conversation." He paused for a moment. "And it one hundred percent means that you ain't no tree." He stopped then, feeling that his sudden compliments made him look strange, though in reality he hadn't particularly meant to compliment her, partly yes, but he was mostly just speaking honestly.

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Character Portrait: Alice L. Whyte Character Portrait: Jacob Sorata Misaki
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Alice seemed very tense in the moment of silence between her question and Jacob's answer. But, when he finally did speak, this expression gave way to one of barely-masked surprise, as though she hadn't expected such a response. In truth, his willingness to put up with her was enough to astonish her. Most people would have just said she was weird, or confusing, and left. But this boy... he enjoyed her company? Alice smiled again, a very small, slight thing that yet managed to be perhaps her most heartfelt, happy expression all day. She'd been frightened of Jacob, to tell the truth. She'd been scared he would just dismiss her, but, since he had requested she follow him, she had decided to go against her better judgement and do so, since he seemed very set on it, and it seemed as though he would be troubled if she refused. She didn't want to be a burden, so she'd accepted his invitation and come with him. And now... she didn't regret it. For whatever reason, she'd been brought here, and, by his answer, she became assured that the cause was nothing short of fate. This boy was someone special, someone who would accept her. That hope broke out, unable to be extinguished by her doubts, and instantly filled her with joy. This was exactly the sort of person she'd been longing to meet for so long.

"Interesting is good," Alice said, repeating her earlier words and breaking the silence at last, her previous expression of doubt replaced with a somewhat enigmatic, but nonetheless indubitably happy one. "Alright. I'll remember that." She smiled slightly, and then abruptly assumed a sort of contemplative air, as though wondering what to say next. Reaching into the pocket of her skirt as though it contained some sort of answer, she quickly withdrew a small smart phone and, turning it on, began to gaze intently down at its screen, tapping the screen several times as though browsing something. At last, she spoke again.

"According to the foreseen-yet-unforeseen future that is now the present, our conversation at this point can take three turns. Either you are real, and this meeting was one caused by fate, or this is actually all just a dream. Or a reality TV show. Or a reality TV show about a dream." Alice's speech suddenly began to devolve into several apparent non sequiturs, but she didn't seem to notice at all, and swiftly continued along a tangent that became disturbing very, very quickly. "Oh, or you just brought me here where nobody else is so you could knock me unconscious, drag my body into a shrubbery and have your way with me, but I think I can rule out that possible future. You don't seem to like trees much." As though this rather morbid thought explained everything, she swiftly tapped out a few commands, deleting whatever unknown prediction or chain of predictions had led to such an unprecedented and alarming consideration. Once this was done, she continued.

"And I think I can rule out the second option, too. I would never dream of somebody like you, because I like trees, and you're too much of a nice guy to be on reality TV," She added, swiftly deleting another route from her journal of predictions. With the air of a mathematician completing an equation, she concluded her little unintelligible speech.

"So, I guess that means that... You're real. In that case, I've managed to work my way onto the 'Good Ending' path. Hmm... I think this might be the first time that has happened this year." At this juncture, Alice seemed to be more talking to herself - or perhaps to her phone - and yet she was still, at least in her wording, addressing the now quite likely baffled Jacob. Yet, she didn't seem bothered by this unusual speaking arrangement at all, and just continued on with what she was doing. "Let's see... so, to achieve the 'Good End,' I'm supposed to... Oh. Well that's simple. And hard. Like talking to people. Very much like talking to people. Because it is talking to people. And talking to people is simple. And hard. Like a rock. Or rather, like skipping a rock. You see everybody else do it, and it looks so easy, but when you try, the rock just sinks to the bottom and everybody laughs at you. It's like that, but with Human interaction. It happens to me all the time. Everybody else manages to say exactly what they're thinking, but when I try, my thoughts turn into different words which change when I say them, and then everyone laughs. It's not funny. I'm underwater, and they're laughing at me. Would they laugh if my body was drowning as well as just my thoughts? Probably. People are weird. I can't understand them. I think it was some sort of German word or another. It involved shoes. And a psychologist. Or, wait, no, that was a joke about the word." Alice shrugged slightly, shaking her head with a somewhat regretful demeanor. "I get confused sometimes," she explained, as though this was something that had needed clarification.

"Anyway, the foreseen-unforeseen-future-present says I should say something, but I'm not sure how to. Let's see... Hmm, how to put it...? Since fate has... No, people usually misunderstand when I explain fate to them. Er... then maybe...? No, I can't use that either. That would be against my privacy. I'm a very private person. I'm private enough to serve in the armed forces... but then I'd have to make sense of what people were ordering me to do... That would be hard. There's a lot of slang involved. I'm not good with slang." Alice trailed off, as though she'd forgotten what she had been doing in the first place, but then seemed to collect herself, and began to speak again. This time, she was doing so much differently from her usual scatterbrained approach to conversation. It seemed like she was putting a great deal of effort into the words she spoke, as though trying to force herself into letting them pass her lips. Her expression was one of intense anxiety and doubt, yet also a level of focus and determination that made her look like she was speaking before the world rather than to a lone person.

"I... I think I've got it, now. I'm not sure. It's simple enough to make sense, but it might be too simple." She shook her head, as though trying to dislodge these thoughts before they hijacked her thought process once again. Then, taking a deep breath, she said something that was both very simple, and very meaningful.

"Er... You said earlier that you liked me. Well, I've made up my mind." She looked directly at Jacob once again, and gave a somewhat sheepish expression as, mustering her courage, she spoke her thoughts as best she could.

"I think... No, I'm sure of it. I... I... like... you... too?" She said questioningly, cocking her head at Jacob as though asking him if he approved of the sentence. "Or was that weird?" She asked, seeming a little discouraged by her failed attempt to convey the conviction she evidently felt in this opinion.